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TheKodu avatar 1:36 PM on 04.02.2014
XBLIG [non]review [PSA]: Banana Bananza is a banana sh@# [Swearing]
Breaking News: as of 7:30am GMT on 03/04/2013 Banana Bananza has been pulled from the Xbox Live Indie Games Marketplace






Warning this review contains Strong language and images some readers may find offensive and the developer of this game WILL find offensive.


Warning this review contains Strong language and images some readers may find offensive and the developer of this game WILL find offensive.



Name: Banana Bananza
Cost: £0.69 / $1
Review Bit:

Ok Iím going to give this review the same amount of effort that Banana Bananza has had put into it.




There we go.†





Unfortunately that tells you very little about the game and might encourage you to pick it up out of morbid curiosity. As such Iím going to actually review the thing, this is because as a reviewer part of my role is to protect and inform the consumers or at least try to.

So when I saw Banana Bananza show up on the Xbox Live Indie Games marketplace my curiosity was peaked. I missed out on the ďBreak one OutĒ scandal that hit years ago and well if you look at the two screenshots for this game I think youíll understand why Iím checking this one out.






So it seems pretty clear how this game is selling itself and as you may well know nudity is against the rule of XBLIG so has a game with nudity finally got onto the system ?

You better believe it hasnít. Here just for you is what one of those same images looks like in game.



Now looking at that image made me think back and seemingly remember seeing that image before, except the entire image. Then I looked at who made the game. Fusion gaming ! Now some readers of mine might remember I looked at another game by them, luckily I donít remember playing it all through but I did end up going back to look at†
. Turns out itís the same image.

So another entry onto XBLIG by Fusion gaming. No pictures of gameplay and trying to sell based on ďsexyĒ images. Could this be their first step to redemption ? Is this some great hidden gem of XBLIG ? Of course fucking not, infact this entry is worse than Sexy Island adventure. At least Sexy Island adventure had gameplay, ok the gameplay was more boring than a 5 hour lecture on the future of the stopcock valve hosted by Gordon Brown but it was there. †Banana Bananza is NOT a game, you heard me right itís not.

Banana Bananza has no actual gameplay, no objective beyond high scrore and after 5 minutes or less requires no player input either. †So what do you do you ask ? Well you gather bananaís. Initially you do this by rapidly pressing A and then you can use these to buy upgrades such as more bananas per time you press A and gaining bananas per second automatically. You use bananas to buy upgrades which give you more bananas over time. You could literally just sit there not buying upgrades and youíd still get bananas after you buy the first one or two. There is NO global highscore board for the game so thereís no way to compete with other people anyway so even the high score mechanic is even more pointless. At no point can you buy images as you might think the game has two images the one above of the girl in the mud ? and another of girls picking bananas it is infact the other one shown above. Oh and before you ask no you donít see any nudity on that either itís just girls picking bananas and no itís not animated.

Verdict:
Banana Bananza is a cookie clicker except without the cookies or even the need to click. It requires less user input and has less sense of progress than Dear Esther. It provides nothing to the player and despite being a game that simply counts up it has a bug in it. The game counts in the number of bananas but the upgrades says lbs thatís right the game gives two kinds of units for the same thing.Banana Bananza has exactly 1 new asset and the rest I believe is re-used or repurposed items.

Once upon a time Silver Dollar games were considered the worst developer on XBLIG. Fusion gaming are proving in spectacular style why they now deserve that title.

Banana Bananza is a fusion of the pure grade A bovine excrement and the worst parts of a mobile cookie clicker to create something that canít even be called a game anymore. This thing is the worst release on XBLIG I believe ever. Yes I rate this game worse than Zombies Zombies everywhere. The marketing for this game is actually misleading so much so I believe it might be in breach of advertising standards and itís very rare I say this about a game, especially one that cost me less than a hamburger , I want my money back. No really this game is so bad I feel my money was not simply wasted here but has actively gone towards encouraging more †shit like this to be developed.

If you take nothing else from this review take this. DO NOT BUY Banana Bananza




One Last insult

I would now be posting a picture of the gameplay but when I fired up the game today having written this review 3 days ago I found this.




Now I thought it was just and error you know maybe an update scrambled the game files so I redownloaded the game, it was still corrupt. I then deleted the game manually from the xbox storage menu having gone through the storage system not the carousel and redownloaded it again from scratch having restarted my Xbox. It was still corrupt

So I thought maybe it was just me you know. Then I checked a thread I made previously on Xbox.com. Turns out I'm not the only one.

This thing is no longer on the level of worst game of the year this is no what I can only describe as an active SCAM




Score

0 out of 6 Scamtacular†

Tagged:    Community Reviews  

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