'Twas the night before Black Friday and all through the land,
gamers were worrying, longs lists in hand,
For their stockings were soon to be hung up with care
and they knew without shopping, those socks would be bare
With turkey in their tummies and pumpkin ale flowing,
they turned in for the night, quite fully knowing
that noobs were nestled all snug in their beds
with gaming sale visions dancing in their heads.
When out like a light, a pixelated dream came into focus.
They never suspected any hocus-pocus.
Scratching their bums, they leapt out of bed
stumbling and sleepy, and rubbing their heads
They ran to the PC to check their bank account stash,
they looked in their wallets, and realized they were short on cash.
Then on the internet, what should appear,
But
a list of all the gaming deals, so have no fear.
With too many games to be had,
they had to choose which games aren't a fad.
More rapid than broadband, Mr. Dtoid's reindeer came,
as he whistled and shouted and called them by name:
"Now Uncharted! Now Dragon Age!
Now, Brutal Legend and Madden 10!
On, Xbox! On Sony!
On, Nintendo Wii!
To the top of the porch!
To the chimney wall!
Now game away! Game away!
Game away all!
As stressed-out shoppers that before the sale do fly,
when they meet with an obstacle and poke out an eye.
So up to the house-top the reindeer they flew
with a sleigh full of consoles and peripherals too.
And then, in a twinkling, was heard on the roof
the prancing of each little pixilated hoof.
As they watched from the top of the stairs, mouths agape,
St. Dtoid appeared on the hearth with nary a scrape.
He was dressed all in glory, from his shoes to his head
and his eyes were glowing, as though infrared.
A gaggle of games dropped into sight,
including the latest Left 4 Dead, with zombies to fight.
His eyes how they sparkled! They looked just like cherries!
His grin was enough to make anyone merry!
His discs were plentiful and easy to switch,
and his online play ran with nary a glitch.
His controller batteries were lithium and long-lasting to boot,
and his trigger fingers were ready to shoot.
His consoles streamed NETFLIX in the highest resolution,
And his Facebook integration was the perfect solution.
He spoke only two words, as he filled up the socks,
he snickered and smiled as he said, "also c*cks"
And laying his finger on a nearby present for a goof
he turned of the console and was gone in a poof.
He uploaded to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
and they all took off like a MW2 Predator missile.
A rhyme left behind put it all in perspective.
Go Black Friday shopping, this is your final directive.
And now some wonderful memories of Black Friday's past...
Becareful out there DTOID community! With the economy even worse this year, the frenzy will be even greater, we don't want you hurting your precious thumbs or any other appendages for that matter.
TheJesusNinja26's blog
follow this blog
subscribe via RSS
send message
invite to meetup+play
This is the best DToid blog post ever. Thank you sir.
Also, cocks.
Why thank you good sir!
Badass. This is it.
FAP away good lads and lasses
You thought of that all by yourself? Mad props to you.
Yeah Black friday scares the sh*t out of me big time. I want to go to the mall this saturday not because of black friday it's just because i get paid
@ dapoisonedone - you sir are a brave soul
Awesome poem!!
This is so amazing. :)
FUCK YEAH MADDEN NFL 10!