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About Me

The #007500 Box feat. Series 7
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I Suck At Games: Banned Of Brothers

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Please see my Backloggery for a list of games I'm currently playing and friend codes.

SteamID: TheExcel ; alias Excel-2011

The world would be a better place if all the leaders of all the great nations of the world would spend a little more time sitting on the potty.

My name is James A. Calwell III and I'm legal. I play shmups, mostly of the horizontal, non-danmaku variety, but once in a while I like to do something different. My personal site is located at http://whatistheexcel.com. I go by a number of names throughout the internet, including:

Excel-2010
Excel-2009
Excel-2008
The-Excel
Exy

No my name does not have any intended connection to Microsoft Excel, Excel Saga, the Exhibition Center of London, the Excel Energy Center in St. Paul or anything else you can think of. Don't ask where it came from; I don't remember and I don't care to. Exy was adopted as a shorthand form from the (female) character of the same name in DoDonPachi dai-ou-jou.

I put very low priority on merit-based ranking systems within large communities, including Achievements, community ranks and leaderboards. I don't get why so many people are conscious about their scores because as one person I will not name here says, I play for fun. The only time I ever pay attention to my score is if I'm playing a shmup or a similarly difficult game and it's used to award extends.

My favorite games include the Gradius series, Darius Gaiden, Picross DS, the Metal Slug series, Twinkle Star Sprites and the bemani games (beatmania IIDX, pop'n music, etc). In other words, I'm not like you and I don't try to be. I respect that you're different from me, except you're not. I cannot believe how ignorant you can be sometimes. Incidentally, if you ever feel the need to get destroyed at Twinkle Star Sprites, just let me know and we can set up a match over 2df.



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All original material written in this blog is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 United States License, unless noted otherwise. You are free to use and modify any original text and images published here for any purpose, including for commercial or profit, as long as attribution is given to me (a link to the original post(s) is sufficient). If you would like to use my writings, you are not required to contact me in advance to do so, but I would appreciate if you told me where my work is being used. If these terms won't do in your case, please contact me at unluckystar at whatistheexcel dot com to negotiate a statutory license.


P.S.

Gamer Profile

3DS friend code: 4382-2141-7820
Steam: http://steamcommunity.com/id/the
Battle:
PSN:
Mii: 0228 7326 9127 5396
Gamertag: Excel 2011

Following (25)

My Game Maker 5 Creation: Watchowt the Fourth Excel-2011 | 11:59 PM on 02.03.2008 6 comments

I figure that if LordRegulus had the clearance to put up his own Game Maker project, I can do it too. In 2004 I picked up Game Maker 5 and learned a sufficient chunk of GML, Game Maker's built-in coding language. I continued my seminal programming project, Watchowt [sic], using my new-found knowledge of GML to get more advanced functions in my work. The fourth incarnation of this uninspired dross sucks tremendously in hindsight but it was successful enough in its day that work on an enhanced remake is underway in Game Maker 7. As it was constructed in 2004, it was made by Excel 2004, who, unlike the modern and crafty Excel-2008, was a colossal idiot/borderline weeaboo in numerous ways. I don't remember how I got the name Watchowt, where any art or sound assets in the game that aren't clip art come from or where I left the source code. In Watchowt the Fourth (the first two games are lost to time; the third is also available at request), the player controls a clip art purple ball and shoots out anything that moves or shoots out at it. This repeats in several closed arenas until there's nothing left. The defining characteristic of Watchowt games is that almost everything you see and hear are clip art. Press Shift to fire in the last direction moved and Ctrl to change weapons when they become available. Remember to disable the shortcut for StickyKeys and the other Accessibility functions in the Control Panel before playing if you haven't done that already. The original game will never be completed but three levels should do for this purpose. Test players have compared the gameplay to Contra but in all honesty I don't see any resemblance. The game will run in 640x480 fullscreen only so if your computer somehow can't handle it then don't bother. http://whatistheexcel.com/upload/Watchowt_the_4th.zip Attached photos: