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TheExcel avatar 12:06 PM on 02.03.2009
10 Things You Know About The-Excel

Where do I start.

1. My actual internet name as of 22 November 2008 is Excel-2009. My first name was Excel 2004 and was introduced in a forum that allowed name changes. The hyphen was added in 2006 to signify that I was getting used to the crucible that is internet communities. That and maybe I ripped it from a certain SNK game that had an odd habit of using hyphens in full names. The generic label The-Excel is used only to reference my internet persona in general and in places where a more permanent name is preferred.

2. As of last Saturday, I have conquered all of my devices and got homebrew running on all of them at least once. My DS Lite, PS2, Xbox (original) and Wii are or was equipped to run whatever I wanted. I used to have an R4 but I was strapped for cash at the time okay?

3. As an extension of my scorn for political correctness, I often say things that make people angry and I never realize it until it's too late. This is why I have less than half as many friends as my siblings do. They never make drama out of anything. Example: Why is it that people get pissed when you tell them "Happy birthday" when it's nowhere near their birthday? Somehow it's not so bad if you say that a few days after their birthday, but if you say it six months after, they just yell that it's not their birthday instead of expressing disappointment. Also, they never say "It's not my birthday yet", as if looking forward to it is a bad thing.

4. According to the Jonathan-Holmes, I'm the balls.

5. Until I was 8, I thought that meteorologists were psychics in the service of the local news. I didn't learn about science until third grade.

6. The "A" in James A. Calwell III doesn't stand for anything.

7. I do hold political beliefs but I have neither the spine nor the air of informed confidence to defend them. I learned far too late that when this is the case, never say a word if some classmates are going at it about the president's policies on anything.

8. In case you missed it, you know all of these already. You're so smart!

9. I was the "editor-in-chief" of the gifted class' newsletter while I was in high school. My own column, "untitled", garnered more readers than any other. It was about whatever I could think about at the time, and upon retrospect, I wish I didn't have to think about them.

10. I'm studying communications in college. Specifically, I'm seeking a career in video editing and effects. When I graduate, my portfolio will be full of works with nuanced references to video games, anime and internet memes. They will be subtle enough that the only people who will recognize them are those who have known about them for years, while everyone else will hail it as creative visionary material.


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