There is one day in the year that I am rather happy is only one day in the year.
That day is Black Friday. For people looking for bargains its the best day of the year. For those of us just attending because of our job, it is the most intense and stressful day of the year.
And here I am about to descend into the mouth of such madness. While I can't really talk about where I work, it does indeed deal in games and chances are I will be placed anywhere regarding those games on the sales floor given my proclivity for not shutting the hell up about video games.
Other people in this line of work dread the launch of a new Madden, Pokemon or Call of Duty game. Those I don't mind so much as I can say I know enough about each of them to make distinctions between the games in their installments. Black Friday is the day I will get asked about games that:
- I don't know anything about
- No gaming site would bother to review
- Have not had a published copy in years
Last time, I was asked about the Nancy Drew Wii game. I didn't even know Nancy Drew had video games, I thought she still just had books. The Hardy Boys - aside from their WWE counterparts - have yet to move in on gaming to my knowledge. Turns out Nancy has DS games and a Wii game, We had none of them. Great!
Then there's the latest Cabela's Deer Hunting game. I'm going to be expected to know how fun these games are. They have deer in them, possibly other kinds of wildlife They sell plastic orange guns with them. This is all I know and all I really care to know. I the only deer I see in games are in Skyrim, perhaps I can tell you about that time I saw a deer...
That is totally my desktop wallpaper now, by the way.
I will be asked about fashion games for girls. My default response is "Style Savvy" and I only know anything about it because of Tony Ponce's bravery in reviewing it. The fact that NIntendo made it and its not total crap makes it a reassuring sell. For boys, the answer for fun educational games will still be Scribblenauts.
And the question - aside from deer hunting sims - that I will be riddled with the most is people asking about the difference between the consoles.
360 - Best online experience. Most robust online community. Works with Kinect.
PS3 - Best graphics. Has Blu Ray player. Free online play.
Wii - Cheapest. Best family-friendly games. Does little with the internet.
All have Netflix. Next question.
But I have to be prepared to tell the difference between DS and 3DS this year. I will be asked by grandmothers if 3DS games can be played on the DS.
Why would you even think that?
Then there's the parents more concerned about the language used in a game than the violence and sexual content within. Decapitations and thongs are OK, but it can't say "fuck." If its a story mom wants for her child in a shooter, I'm still more inclined to direct them to the remake of Halo than a CoD game. You know, since it lasts longer than five hours.
But I can't answer all these questions as I am right now, you know, as it would likely get me fired. I have to be polite and professional while the door opens for more people and I'm forced to breathe in cold air, wear out my voice and have (ideally) a two-,minute interaction with each person tops. This year I have a bag of Werther's Original and some cough drops to make sure I am still able to speak by the end of my second shift that day. I will
be that exhausted physically by that point.
Yes, no Skyrim or Skyward Sword for me when I'm getting home tonight. Its Bedrim and Faceward Flop.
I can only be glad I will not be working a register and I will be grateful when it is all over.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go back to my happy place before this all begins.