Firstly, I have to give a big thanks to Silverdragon1979, for convincing me to pull my head from my arse and try something new. Seriously, I owe you a six-pack or my first born or something.

So, my first blog on this site was a bit of flamebait, to say the least. In it I espoused the opinion that there is nothing new or great about modern gaming. I may have also insinuated that new games are gimmicky and lame and that the average intelligence of those who enjoy them is equivalent to the average temperature in Alaska during Winter.

Hardcore Science


I was jaded because I’ve played so many games over the years and there have been few highlights in my gaming experiences since I put down the controller after finishing FFVII. If you disagree with me, you are wrong and a bad person for feeling that way.

But Silverdragon told me to pick up Portal and give it a whirl. He said it was short, but worth the price of admission. I had actually picked up Portal some time ago, but never got around to actually playing it. I bought it separate from the Orange Box for $9.99 and figured I’d get around to playing it eventually.

But I put down my classic controller and dusted off my mouse. And hot damn am I glad that I did.



A year and a half after its release, here I am discovering this game for myself for the first time. It was everything I hoped gaming could accomplish now. Humorous, irreverent, challenging, surprising, and most of all—fun. I forced myself to stop playing when I realized I’d already blown through the first 15 chambers in one sitting. This was one of the best gaming experiences I’d had in a long time and I didn’t want to burn through it in less than a day.

So I beat it in two.

Everything from the mechanics and physics, to the graffiti on the walls glued me to my computer. I’d stayed blissfully unaware of the secrets of GLaDOS and the Companion Cube and the Aperture Science center, so everything was new and fresh and awesome.

VG Cats Original

I did get stuck a few times on the upper levels beyond the 19th chamber. But that’s what I want in a game. I want to get stuck and have to puzzle it out for myself. And one of the best things I can say about a game is that I didn’t have to go to a Walkthrough to beat it. All the answers are right there in front of you and if you are willing to tough it out, you will reach the next stage.

Portal was the perfect game. Sure, it didn’t meet my general requirement of taking a long time to beat, but I’d rather read the perfect haiku, then belabor a tiresome novel. I might be the last gamer on earth to have picked up Portal for the first time. But to anyone like me, who thinks that gaming has lost its ability to amaze and entertain in more recent years, you need to pick up Portal.

And now, my top 5 Portal moments (Spoilers ahead for anyone who hasn’t played it. But I highly doubt there are any of you left…)

5) Realizing that GLaDOS is lying to you for the first time. Misdirection in this game kept me enthralled. It made me want to know what was waiting for me at the end of the line. It kept me guessing right up until the end.

4) Finding the first “behind the scenes” chamber filled with graffiti. There was something deeply disturbing when you found the first tin of beans paired with marks on the wall. What happened to the eater of said beans. Why didn’t he or she progress? And, finally—was that one of my predecessors? How many copies of me have been made?

3) Ending credits. If you beat this game, there’s absolutely nothing more I need to elaborate on this point.



2) Incineration of the Companion Cube. In what other game has an inanimate object taken on a life of its own to this degree? Have you ever felt guilty about throwing a switch because it might hurt the switch? Brilliant. Absofuckinglutely brilliant. I actually turned my speakers up thinking that I might have missed the Cube speaking.



1) The final fight with GLaDOS. Rarely in a game have I found a fight so compelling that I didn’t want to complete it as fast as possible. I wanted to hear every last sultry word she had to say. Meanwhile, I’m stressing on how to grab that orb that’s hanging in midair. Absolutely awesome.


I think I’m in denial that it’s already said and done. I’ve gone back and completed the bonus maps and I’m taking my time on the timed trials. I just don’t want it to end.



Thus, I’m open to suggestions. If there are other games as good as this one that are on the next-gen systems, bring them on. I’ve got my gaming face on and I’m hungry for more.