The Mind of the Mature Adult, a Brief Guide for Fanboys - Destructoid

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My life was ruined when my dad brought home a disk for our Atari 800 with Zaxxon on it. Since then games are what I do.
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Somebody has said something about a game that is different than how you feel about it or given it a review score that you deem to be too low or too high. You're mad. You're screaming at them, telling them they're “bias” toward one thing or another, that they said it to troll for hits, that they're on the payroll of a publisher or manufacturer. If you have ever reacted to a review, blog entry or forum post in this fashion, read on and educate yourself.

Adults, having a mature conversation.

The first thing you need to realize that the assumption that a mature adult thinks the same way you do is false, that just because you have irrational feelings towards certain games or consoles does not mean that everybody else feels the same way about those that they do or do not like. If an adult enjoys or dislikes a game, it is because they enjoyed it or they disliked it. It is as simple as that. It is not because, as you may think, they too have an irrational connection to a particular console or game, or that they, like you, have some secret agenda. An adult considers your way of thinking to be childish and moronic, which it is.

Now, what I'm about to say may seem to you to be impossible or even blasphemous, but it is important for you to understand. An adult is capable of liking multiple things that you may seem to think are in opposition to each other. Where you may, for example, only like the Xbox 360 and feel that the PS3 is inferior in every way and that no game on it can possibly be good, an adult is capable of liking both. It's a strange idea to you, I know, but it's how things are. You see, an adult's world view isn't as narrow as yours is, nor do they feel that the thing they have or like is the only good thing and that a game or console that competes with it is not horrible and must be destroyed.

This next part will probably be the hardest for you to comprehend, but it is something you must come to understand. An adult does not think about things in binary extremes, the way you do, which is to say they are capable of complex opinions. Where you may only be capable of undying love and seething hatred, an adult can like something only a little, and most importantly, an adult can dislike things about something they like or like things about something they do not. This is because they, unlike you, are not idiots and have a grasp on reality, which you do not.

This was not intended to be a comprehensive text on the subject of how mature adults are, but it should provide you, the fanboy, with a basic understanding of how sane people think. Unless you're a retard, which, if you are a fanboy, you most likely are, which means you should just shut the fuck up and let the adults talk.

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