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Would You Like A Destructoid Card?
The GHost | 1:48 PM on 05.15.2008 78 comments


Those of you cool enough to visit the forums will have noticed that recently I made a couple of Destructoid cards. Now most of you old-school Dtoiders likely already have a card, but since I had so much fun doing these things -and because I'm unemployed for another month- I've decided to offer my services to any interested community members.

How it works:

1) Either goto this thread and make a request, or drop a comment saying that you want one in this c-blog.

2) Our expert card artisans will rigorously research your past to create a customized card that fits your personality using our patented Search FunctionTM and PhotoshopTM technology to ensure accuracy.

3) Your hand crafted card will then be posted on the Destructoid card thread in the forum and sent to you via PM.

4) !!!!

5) Go bankrupt.

Here are some samples of the kind of high quality work that can only be achieved by using small children working for pennies a day in a dangerous factory in China.







Note: I'm certainly not of the mind that I'm the ONLY one out there capable of doing this. If you post a request, I'll do it unless someone else calls dibs, in which case I'll defer to his/her likely superior shooping skills. Also feel free to say if there's anything you would like to appear on the card, giving source images you want used would also be much appreciated.

Random quote... EXECUTE!

“The conventional wisdom in that industry is that kids would rather play video games than collect baseball cards.”

~Jim Barrett



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76 comments | showing # 1 to 50

prev next 50 comments

shipero's Destructoid Blog
Not bad, but the only card I need is the Ace of Spades. The Ace of Spades!
mix's Destructoid Blog
Hook me up with a card dude!

Thanks
PsychoSoldier's Destructoid Blog
I so want one to! Also boo rape is tramutaizing.
Gemsi's Destructoid Blog
As your offering the service, i would also like on.
king3vbo's Destructoid Blog
Ahh these are classic, I remember making a bunch a while ago
king3vbo's Destructoid Blog
LOL@ Shipero
brosef's Destructoid Blog
I remember seeing this thread last fall. The WiiSucks card is pure win.
PetiePal's Destructoid Blog
I would love a card :)
Hoygeit's Destructoid Blog
Very cool!
Aerox's Destructoid Blog
I'll take one.
Matthew Blake's Destructoid Blog
Flippin' sweet cards, man! I want one- please?
blehman's Destructoid Blog
I so very much <3 that you brought this back GHost.
GuitarAtomik's Destructoid Blog
Oh shit! I want one!
KyleGamgee's Destructoid Blog
Do want! Make me a card.

It should say "lusting" on it somewhere as I was accurately accused of that in one of the forums (probably the pictures threa)
Surf314's Destructoid Blog
I will take one card please.
Silverback 55's Destructoid Blog
I would love to have a card to show off my status as a pro lurker.
bloodylip's Destructoid Blog
I'll take one card, please.
HarassmentPanda's Destructoid Blog
I don't believe I have a card made. So, I would love one!
Joseph Leray's Destructoid Blog
I think I missed the boat the first time these rolled around, although I vaguely remember them. I can has?
Takeshi's Destructoid Blog
TakeshiCard, Yes Please! I love it. I've seen it quite a while ago. Thanks for bringing it back indeed.
tazarthayoot's Destructoid Blog
tazar is very interested in a tazar card
Eschatos's Destructoid Blog
Eschatos likes personal cards! Want!
Knives's Destructoid Blog
I'll take one card and raise you 500 rupees!
Conrad Zimmerman's Destructoid Blog
And now you all have your work cut out for you.

Which is my way of saying that I'd like a card also.
Neonie's Destructoid Blog
Sure make me a card Ghost :D

Also add me to your friends. Did all those hours of TF2 and Halo 3 mean nothing :c (ROFL)
Elitechief27's Destructoid Blog
I can haz card made for me plz? kthxbai.
bleep's Destructoid Blog
I want one!
you've really got your work cut out for you now! haha
Scary Womanizing Pig Mask's Destructoid Blog
Those look incredible! You do seem a bit overloaded, so I feel guilty asking, but could you make me one too? Do want! :D
MaxVest's Destructoid Blog
Dear sir:

I would also like one of your fine wares should you find the time. I have been playing the race and gender cards so often that they are plum worn out and I have no cards.

Yrs.,
MaxVest
Y0j1mb0's Destructoid Blog
I officially want one good sir as a roaming samurai is often asked for his cards and papers.
NihonTiger90's Destructoid Blog
I would certainly like one of these whenever you have a free minute, good sir.
tsunamikitsune's Destructoid Blog
I would also like a card! :D
BlindsideDork's Destructoid Blog
The only thing I could think would be on mine is something about blogs, Nintendo, Monkey or your mom. haha
SantanaClaus89's Destructoid Blog
MOAR CARDZ PLZ!

(I would like one)
MechaMonkey's Destructoid Blog
I'm of legal age, and therefore generally get upset when I'm carded, but this time I will make an exception.

Of course I would like one. Who wouldn't? You sir, are a gentleman and a scholar.
DJDuffy 's Destructoid Blog
ya ok make me one, sure why not :)
naia-the-gamer's Destructoid Blog
Dude those are awesome! I can haz a DToid card? ^_^
quiche's Destructoid Blog
Sure, I'll have it.

Although no one really knows me here yet, go nuts.
Professor Pew's Destructoid Blog
Do want! What is this concept of a legal age?
McSnow's Destructoid Blog
I'll have one but only if you print it off, laminate it and post it to me free of charge along with a coupon for free butT secks.
balth's Destructoid Blog
I would like to humbly request a card, as well.

Shoops Ahoy!

i hope you have a LOT of free time now that school is done LOL.
A Humble Mr Perfect's Destructoid Blog
I'd tap that.
The GHost's Destructoid Blog
Oki doki, waaaaayyyy more takers than I originally thought!

I'll go in chronological order from these comments and I'll post a c-blog every time I do five.

*cracks knuckles*

Time to get to work!
Quisling's Destructoid Blog
Wow, grats. You just bought yourself hours and hours of unpaid slave labor just so someone can say "ooo, thats kinda neat" then discard the image.

What we SHOULD do is print off the personalized cards with a uniform reverse (or a semi-uniform reverse with the person's avatar and name), print them off, laminate them and sell them for $5.

I'd buy one, just to be a card-carrying dtoid member. Use them as NARP door passes or something. It could be amazing.

With that said, you have more work above than I could possibly imagine ever undertaking (and with some of the nobodies that responded you have serious imagination skills to flex), so I won't add to your list. Until I can pay.
Takeshi's Destructoid Blog
Ghost,
you're a star! I thank you!
Gotta catch 'em all!
Toneman's Destructoid Blog
I must have one. Make sure there's pleanty of bowtie.
power-glove's Destructoid Blog
If I had Photoshop, I would help you out but alas I do not. If you can get around to doing one for me, it would be greatly appreciated.
Scape's Destructoid Blog
I'd like to see this.
The GHost's Destructoid Blog
@Quisling

I'm under no obligation to do any of this. I've only given myself as much work as I'm willing to do. I also don't mind getting creative with some of the lesser known members that have made requests, just means that I get to do some crazy stuff :D

As for charging for laminated cards; I certainly don't have the ability to do this, and don't particularly have the desire to figure out all of the logistics.

I'll stick to just shooping for now ;)


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 about me



For the basics, check out my forum intro thread.

Or for the lazy, here's all you really need to know about me summed up in one picture:



Now that that's done with, let's move onto the blog itself. This blog isn't going to contain any news. Like EVER. Like NEVER EVER FOREVER NEVER. I have no intention of doing anything other than posting original content (mostly just pictures that I make with my extremely limited photoshop skills along with original stories and whatnot). The bottom line is that I think that there are plenty of people doing editorial/reviewer style content already, and so instead of adding to the glut, I'll just stick to what I know:

Dicking around :D

Now enjoy... or DON'T!

My one year anniversary: I did a bunch of traveling and met a bunch of Dtoiders whilst doing so. Here's my one year anniversary/travel summary audio c-blog.

Other work: I also write for a site called Negative Gamer which was started by Wardrox. It's super cool and full of dinosaurs. RAWR!

Destructoid Cards

I've made many a card for many a Dtoider after getting the idea from a forum thread in which Atheistium posted a template and a challenge. Currently I'm a little too busy with school/work/fighting enemies of truth and justice to make more, but I'll get another batch out eventually. Here are links to all my Dtoid card posts!

FooLiz, Blehman and Requests: The beginning

Booster Pack 1
Booster Pack 2
Booster Pack 3
Booster Pack 4
Booster Pack 5
Booster Pack 6
Booster Pack 7
Booster Pack 8
Booster Pack 9
Booster Pack 10
Booster Pack 11
Booster Pack 12
Booster Pack 12.5
Booster Pack 13
Booster Pack 14


Secret Booster Pack 1
Secret Booster Pack 2
Secret Booster Pack 3

Rules Post 1
Rules Post 2

Cards (jpegs)
Photohop Files

Frontpaged Posts

Destructoid card wrap-up post
Katamari Damacy: The Ultimate Murder Simulator?
Why Fanboys Are Better Than You

(Header images from http://thewsk.deviantart.com)

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