SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKERS EDITION

So like I said in my last blog: booster pack 5 should be out tomorrow, so then what the hell is this?

I don't recall saying when the secret pack 2 would be done, do you? :D

Once you're done going through these you may have a few questions, all will be answered in the afterthoughts.

AHEM! DO RE MI FA SO LA TE DOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

Secret booster pack 2: Castletoid Blood



Aaron Linde card notes: Oh Linde, why'd you have to go and break our hearts?

Aaron was the reviews editor at Destructoid for a while, but not too long ago Shacknews gave him an offer he couldn't refuse. So he didn't.

Mr. Linde isn't completely gone though, he still drops by from time to time to blog and remains a regular on Podtoid, which is where most of the references on his card come from. Now I had to make a guess when writing his "Foppish Dandy" ability, as he seems like the kind of guy that would rock that style (c'mon we're talking about a dude that helped create the idea of a game bases around "Gentlemen Dinosaurs"), so hopefully I made the right choice in going with it.



Tiff card notes: Awww, poor Tiff. She has to go in to Podtoid every week where Rev Ant, Jim Sterling and Aaron Linde constantly talk over her and tell her to shut the fuck up. Seriously, it's heart breaking because, well because LOOK at that picture.

Cereally though, Tiff is a big fan of dancing bears and participates in impromptu pillow fort construction on Stickam. I gotta get on there again one of these days...

WARNING: IT'S ABOUT TO GET BRITISH UP IN HERE!

Grab your footballs and tea kids, we're going across the pond...



Wardrox card notes: The newest controversy magnet at Destructoid, Wardrox co-hosts on the Podcastle and does a damn fine job of it too. The 'Drox also runs his own self-titled text-based MMO right here.

"But I don't care about that! What's with this juicy controversy you mentioned?"

Well blow up doll that I make sweet, swee- wait, what?

I mean; the "controversy" seems to have rubbed off from Sterling to Wardrox so that now Wardrox also gets to have fun handling dozens of hate filled comments, hooray! Want a delicious taste of that naughty controversy? You know you do.

Now click here. Yeah, just like that, nice and slow...



Jim Sterling card notes: Man oh man, I'm getting sick just thinking about how much I could write here. Aw fuck it, I'm doing this in bullet point.

- In competition with Rev Anthony for the most vocal and controversial editor.
- Hosts the Podcastle
- Co-hosts Podtoid
- Runs a social satire website
- MONOCLE!
- Writes beautiful and poetic fanfiction
- Is the next Miyamoto (I didn't believe him at first, but then I saw the phrase "oily chunder" and I was converted)
- Designs Halo levels that look like gorgeous abstract paintings that perfectly capture both the horrors of war and the allure of large phallic objects.
- MONOCLE!
- Interviewed Jack Thompson. Unfortunately Jack thought that it was a pulpit that he was supposed to preach from uninterrupted.
- A fucking million other things.

Say what you will about Jim; he helps make Destructoid unique.

MOAR WARNING: BRITISH WOMENZ FROM THE INTERNET AHEAD. PROCEED WITH CAUTION!



Atheistium card notes: The final piece of the Podcastle puzzle, Atheistium brings the funk every week along with Wardrox and Jim; madcap hijinks ensue!

Before I go any further I would be remiss if I did not mention that Atheistium is the reason that I'm doing these cards. Had this foxy young lady not started this thread back before I even joined Destructoid, I would have never had the idea nor the materials to do this.

Thanks Lauren! :D

Now I know that she's got a card already from way back when, but since I was doing the Podcastle crew, I just couldn't NOT do it.

Most of the references are from this epic episode of the Podcastle. Go listen to it NOW. The portrait is an amazing piece of fanart done by Pointing Device, the ability icons are Lara Croft (post breast reduction), a picture of Atheistium that she did herself and the portrait that I ended up going with for Laurens partner in crime...



Pheonix Blood card notes: First of all: no I don't care how she spells it. Her name is Pheonix Blood on the site, thus that's the name I use. Get over it kids.

More importantly: Miss PB is in this pack because I really wanted to make her and Atheistiums cards have some direct effect on one another, since they're good friends and all, and it just made sense to do them together. Also, if you haven't seen her one year: never forget blog you need to go read it, because even though much of what's in it happened before my time (I'm still relatively new for those of you REALLY new kids) it's still a ton of fun to read.

I know because I measured.

This young minx is also a regular forum contributer and has a very... special connection with another one of my favorite Dtoiders: Banj.

But wait! There's more! Act now and receive these unbelievable Boobtendo and Femtoid pictures absolutely free!

CALL NOW!

Just wanted to say that visually this card and Tophers card are probably my favorites thus far. I really need to get a handle on making these things "pop" a bit more...

Afterthoughts

WHAT'S UP NOW HUH? YA'LL THOUGHT I WAS SLOWIN' DOWN DIDN'T YA?

Well I am actually. This set was being worked on alongside the others, so it's not like I did all 6 (one more than usual even!) of these in one day. Like I said in the last booster pack afterthoughts: I'm probably going to do a pack every second or third day, which brings me to something that you may or may not find interesting...

I finally collected all of the requests and ran some numbers.

Day that I've been doing this: 5

Number of cards finished: 31

Number of requests left: 50

Number of cards left for people that didn't make a request, but I'm going to make them one anyway goddamnit: 19

Cards that are done + cards to be done: 100

So there you motherfucking have it. I shit you not, the number actually came out to an even 100, which makes it very easy for those of you with advanced degrees in mathematics to calculate my percent completion.

Since I don't have a PhD in Mathematics, I'll feed the results into my computer...



BEEP...

BEEP...

BEEP...

DING!

Okay, let's see here...

400% complete?

One second, I'll be right back.

*sounds of machinery screaming out in pain as it is destroyed with a baseball bat*

Random quote... EXECUTE!

“Supercomputers will achieve one human brain capacity by 2010, and personal computers will do so by about 2020.”

~Ray Kurzweil