Or for the lazy, here's all you really need to know about me summed up in one picture:
Now that that's done with, let's move onto the blog itself. This blog isn't going to contain any news. Like EVER. Like NEVER EVER FOREVER NEVER. I have no intention of doing anything other than posting original content (mostly just pictures that I make with my extremely limited photoshop skills along with original stories and whatnot). The bottom line is that I think that there are plenty of people doing editorial/reviewer style content already, and so instead of adding to the glut, I'll just stick to what I know:
Dicking around :D
Now enjoy... or DON'T!
My one year anniversary: I did a bunch of traveling and met a bunch of Dtoiders whilst doing so. Here's my one year anniversary/travel summary audio c-blog.
Other work: I also write for a site called Negative Gamer which was started by Wardrox. It's super cool and full of dinosaurs. RAWR!
I've made many a card for many a Dtoider after getting the idea from a forum thread in which Atheistium posted a template and a challenge. Currently I'm a little too busy with school/work/fighting enemies of truth and justice to make more, but I'll get another batch out eventually. Here are links to all my Dtoid card posts!
Double post is double. Sorry about that everyone, I wouldn't normally do this but because it's slow Sunday hopefully you'll all understand...
There's no real need for an intro here other than to say that I love Retroforce GO! and that I had a blast making these cards.
Now without further ado...
Secret booster pack 1: Retrocards GO!
Dyson card notes: The fearless leader of the Retroforce crew. The man who singlehandedly revolutionized retro podcasts on Destructoid, Dyson is a force to be reckoned with both in card form and on the show. His offbeat views about some very popular games (Twilight Princess and Metroid Prime come to mind) and retro sensibilities makes him both entertaining and interesting to listen to week after week. Underneath all the glamor Dyson is a simple man; his only real requirements are pizza rolls, diet Pepsi and a stack of quality retro games. Oh, and hot asian women, them too.
Portrait was done by the man himself, and this card marks the first time I've just HAD to use multiple types of ability icons since I had to work Super Metroid into it SOMEHOW.
Topher card notes: A yard sale aficionado and the man that got me into shooters; Topher is the anchor that helps to balance some of the more bubbly members of the Restroforce crew, a tough job to be sure. Topher also gets the thankless task of sorting through all the garbage that gets released on XBLA every week (sometimes I cry a little for him when something like Yaris comes out). As for games, the dude loves him some vertical shooters and has gone on record saying that Ikaruga is his favorite game of all time, and I can certainly see why. Funny enough, just before making this card I played a round of Ikaruga and beat my old high score (new high score is just over 5 600 000. Gettin' better every day :D). Since Topher is Destructoids resident art director I felt the need to try and make his card look at least somewhat classy.
That didn't work so well.
Instead I did the above: mash up as many objects of Tophers affection as I could. Miku, the Dreamcast, Slurpees, Ikaruga and puppy pics create a perfect storm of awesome.
Note the absence of peeps. Those evil motherfuckers -.-
Colette card notes: Seriously, I could just put "it's motherfucking Colette!" and move on, since everyone should know who this lovely young lady is. Recently declared the Queen of Destructoid (and if history has shown us anything is probably the real power behind the DToid throne ;) ), Colette has done a ton of stuff including interviews, reviews, podcasts and has even started a sister site about toys!
As Colette is a noted chocobo lover I knew that I had to base the portrait (featuring some of Atheistiums art for Colettes head) and at least one ability around that fact. Note the crown on the "C" in Colette, the Nei (from Phantasy Star II) ability icons and OHSHI-!
BRING IT POULTRY!
Chad card notes: I came across an egregious error today. While looking up pictures on Google, I typed in the word "love" and did not get 900 pictures of Mr. Chad Concelmo. Although he has shown that he can be corrupted by Podtoid, Chad remains the embodiment of all things happy and positive in this world. Not only is Chad always vigilant for cases of dolphin abuse, but he is constantly finger-banging women and putting babies in everyone he can find. Seriously, the mans love knows no bounds, and one day we will all no doubt drown in it, but until then...
Chads enormous love for dolphins made the theme of this card a no-brainer, but I never expected to find such a perfect source image for the portrait. Here's a minor shoop of the original with only Chads likeness and name put in.
And because it's adorable, here's the source image for the ability icons.
Chads resistance description comes from his arguments with Dyson on various episodes of Retroforce GO!, which are the stuff of legend and should not be missed. His weakness description comes in the form of the perfect antithesis to Chads exuberant personality: Reverend Anthony Burch...
Rev Anthony card notes: A cold, hard, spiteful, hate-filled man that sows nothing but discontent and scorn for his fellow human beings, especially children and the elderly.
Or is he?
Since Rev loves art that has depth to it, I tried (and pretty much failed) to symbolize the man and his personality through his card. The cold blue color on the outer edges represent Anthonys hard shell, the part of him that tells the always adorable .tiff to shut the fuck up every week on podtoid, the part of him that balks at people like Chad for being so positive. The red circle in the middle represents the part of Anthony that we only get glimpses at: the part of him that loves cute French indie chicks, adorable animal pictures and made him feel bad when Agent Moo made him a character after Rev ranted about not being in AMMO.
At the end of the day I believe that Rev is just putting up a tough front to keep us from seeing the sensitive and gentle soul underneath. A duality further symbolized by the two colors used for his name: cold hard blue for "the Rev" and very human red for gentle caring Anthony.
It's OK to cry Rev, just hug it out. :D
But for serious: Rev is the oft forgotten fifth member of Retroforce GO!, and even though he hosts podtoid, I think he deserves some more respect for the weekly Rev rant and semi-regular guest appearances on Retroforce. A big proponent of games as art, Rev is Destructoids resident indie gamer that isn't afraid to tell it like it is. Whether you agree with him or not, Rev consistently brings up some of the more interesting facets of games and their design for discussion, making Destructoid the richer for it.
Did I mention that Rev Ant and Chad are going to battle to the death on the top of a volcano? Who cares about shit like "duality of personality" when you've got two men fighting for their lives on the edge of a pit filled with liquid hot magma? :D
I can't over-state how much fun I had making these cards and writing about them. Seriously, I had to stop myself from deleting them each time I was done so I could make them again, it was great. Unfortunately I was unable to get in everything I wanted; you'll notice that there was no mention of forking or spooning and no milkshakes were drank for example, but I'm still fairly satisfied with what I did.
Ultimately this blog is a love note to the Retroforce crew (I almost added a box at the end with the old "do you like me?" yes/no/maybe selections :) ) and so hopefully everyone enjoyed their cards and the associated notes. I'll be back with both more regular and "secret" booster packs before I take off to Zambia, where I'll probably be unable to make cards. No worries though, after I'm done in Zambia I'm heading to the UK for a week and then off to Seattle for PAX, so I can actually meet some DToiders and make even better cards for the community!
Random quote... EXECUTE!
"We are made of win.
We are cranky and fed up.
We are the Tyler Durden of gaming.
We are 8-Bit.
We are 2D in HD.
We are the voice of a thousand sprites demanding to be remembered and celebrated.
We are the click of a zapper, the combo breaker in an age of recycled FPS stagnation
We are Retroforce."
~Topher Cantler (From the opening of Retroforce GO! episode 28)