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The GHost avatar 2:19 PM on 05.21.2008  (server time)
Destructoid Cards: Booster Pack 5


Quick intro: for those of you wondering "how the hell do I play this crazy ass card game?" and "why does it itch down there?" I'll be posting a blog tomorrow talking about it rather than putting up more cards.

I just gotta believe!

Booster pack 5: Proof That I Am A Hack

Knives card notes: I'm sorry knives, I really am. I saw your amazing Audiosurf contest, I know you were one of the few Dtoiders to pay their own way to Cancun and I know you're a stand up dude. I had plenty of card fodder to be sure.

I'm a hack.

I couldn't stop myself, I just had to go with the most obvious hook and run with the Mexico jokes. Will you forgive me man?

This is the first card to get my new "standard" name treatment to help make them more legible. Oh, and the ability icons on the bottom?


Actual prison shanks.

I'M SORRY KNIVES! :(((((((((

Maxvest card notes: This is what happens when I do these late at night: I saw this blog entry, and the Noid was at the top. I just felt compelled to use him somewhere, but I couldn't make it work. Suddenly the hamster upstairs moved just enough to give me a crazy idea, a dream really: have the Noid snorting cocaine and use that as the ability icons for a drug cartel joke. So that's what that is supposed to be, he's snorting with a hundred dollar bill (the Noid, not Maxvest, although I'm sure Maxvest does too).


Enough about that though. Maxvest, if you haven't already noticed, is really fucking funny. Go back and read why he isn't buying GTA, or his plans for a videogame based economy and tell me that you don't love him. Do it, I dare you.

Oh yeah, here's the Summa in lipstick reference.

Conrad Zimmerman card notes: A hell of a prolific Dtoider, Conrad has three major running blog series: RetRose tinted (a look back at old games to see how they hold up), Death By Cartoon (episode by episode reviews of the astonishingly bad Captain-N cartoon series, and where the Slit-O-Meter reference comes from) and On The Table (a look at various tabletop games). Each series is regularly updated pretty much without fail, and each entry is both extremely well written and entertaining. Some people may find some of Conrads entries to be a bit too long, but I like 'em like that. Gives him "space to breath" as it were.

Oh, did I not mention that he also helps with the daily c-blog recaps?

Last note: I remembered hearing some rumblings a while back about Conrad being like kryptonite, because no matter how well written or interesting his blogs were, he just wasn't getting many comments. So that's where the retreat bit comes from, and by all means correct me if I'm mistaken :P

Scary Womanizing Pig Mask (SWPM) card notes: I'm extremely jealous of this guy; he's played Mother 3 while I'm sitting here waiting for the translation like a chump!

Along with the Mother series, SWPM loves, loves, loves him some Ace Attorney, a series I'm just getting into and also loving immensely. Combine these loves and you have SWPM's first ability!

Hold up a second. Before you go any further you need to read SWPM's unusual analysis of the ending to Earthbound. It definitely makes my personal top 10 c-blog entries of all time list.

Naia The Gamer card notes: A noted Rydia and Dragon Quest lover, Naia also creates music for theater, film, TV and videogames for a living, and lord knows that can't be easy.

One thing that bugs me about Naia though is that she always seems to ask better questions to the various podcasts than I do. Cereally, it's embarassing ;)

Naia also keeps an excel file chronicling the games that she has beaten and loves sprinkles cupcakes, pictures of which forced me to go out and buy some snacks after I finished the research phase of her card.

This particular card went through several iterations to get the portrait and everything to look, how shall I say; not like ass? I'm reasonably happy with the end result, mainly because of the amazing piece of Rydia fan art that I found.

I wish I had some actual artistic talent :(


Tomorrow I'll talk about what's going on with these cards with regards to actually playing with them, both in a separate blog and on the forum. So if you're interested in that, stay tuned.

As I said earlier: there won't be any cards tomorrow, and there may not be any the next day either, but rest assured; they're being worked on. Just a little more slowly now...

One last thing: if anyone wants the .psd files or source images for any of my cards, just let me know. The original templates that I'm using can be found right here. I'm not trying to monopolize anything here. I know that there are people out there that can make much better looking and funnier cards than myself, so if inspiration hits don't worry about stepping on my toes. There's nothing wrong with having two cards for one person :D

Coming Soon

Booster Pack 6 featuring...

Professor Pew

Secret booster pack 3 featuring...

Now that I've done the podcast theme I'll be using these "secret" packs to do people that aren't necessarily editors.

Random quote... EXECUTE!

“Babies don't need a vacation but I still see them at the beach. I'll go over to them and say, 'What are you doing here, you've never worked a day in your life!'.”

~Stephen Wright

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