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About


For the basics, check out my forum intro thread.

Or for the lazy, here's all you really need to know about me summed up in one picture:



Now that that's done with, let's move onto the blog itself. This blog isn't going to contain any news. Like EVER. Like NEVER EVER FOREVER NEVER. I have no intention of doing anything other than posting original content (mostly just pictures that I make with my extremely limited photoshop skills along with original stories and whatnot). The bottom line is that I think that there are plenty of people doing editorial/reviewer style content already, and so instead of adding to the glut, I'll just stick to what I know:

Dicking around :D

Now enjoy... or DON'T!

My one year anniversary: I did a bunch of traveling and met a bunch of Dtoiders whilst doing so. Here's my one year anniversary/travel summary audio c-blog.

Other work: I also write for a site called Negative Gamer which was started by Wardrox. It's super cool and full of dinosaurs. RAWR!

Destructoid Cards

I've made many a card for many a Dtoider after getting the idea from a forum thread in which Atheistium posted a template and a challenge. Currently I'm a little too busy with school/work/fighting enemies of truth and justice to make more, but I'll get another batch out eventually. Here are links to all my Dtoid card posts!

FooLiz, Blehman and Requests: The beginning

Booster Pack 1
Booster Pack 2
Booster Pack 3
Booster Pack 4
Booster Pack 5
Booster Pack 6
Booster Pack 7
Booster Pack 8
Booster Pack 9
Booster Pack 10
Booster Pack 11
Booster Pack 12
Booster Pack 12.5
Booster Pack 13
Booster Pack 14


Secret Booster Pack 1
Secret Booster Pack 2
Secret Booster Pack 3

Rules Post 1
Rules Post 2

Cards (jpegs)
Photohop Files

Frontpaged Posts

Destructoid card wrap-up post
Katamari Damacy: The Ultimate Murder Simulator?
Why Fanboys Are Better Than You

(Header images from http://thewsk.deviantart.com)
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HUNG OVER MONDAY EDITION

Quick backstory on these cards before we begin todays installment: yesterday I went out with some friends to see the Kids In The Hall (who were fucking BAD-ASS) and afterwards we decided to go get "girl drink drunk", meaning that we would drink as heavily as we normally do, but only drink stuff like Bacardi Breezers and Daiquiris.

Bad idea.

Anyways, the point is that I got home real late feeling very sick, very drunk and too high on sugar and caffeine to sleep. I then proceeded to make a couple of cards.

These aren't them.

I don't know if I'll ever post those as they're just a fucking mess, but I may put them in a secret booster pack some day...

Now on with the show!

Destructoid booster pack 4:



DJ Duffy card notes: This lovely young lady has a very special place in my heart for taking the initiative to make a Canadian NARP group, delicious! Not content to only create NARP groups, DJ Duffy recently appeared on The Failcast and made one of my favorite pieces of Destructoid fanart for the Cancun contest: the longbot. To round out the package DJ Duffy is also the only female member of the CBM (c-blog mafia), quite an accomplishment in and of itself!

I gotta say though, this cards portrait was agonizing for me to do. I just couldn't find a source image that fit well, or that didn't turn into a blurry mess when it was expanded. In the end I used the source image that I wanted to and tried to cover up its lack of bigness by using a semi-transparent rainbow gradient layered over top. Did it work?

YOU DECIDE!



Elitechief card notes: The chief of the elites, or a chief that's elite? This is the kind of question that I struggled with while making this card. Elitechief has become Retro-famous for his weekly Haiku, which have become a Retroforce GO! staple, complete with music provided by Naia The Gamer. Furthermore, these Haiku of Mr. Chiefs have started a fad of sorts with several DToiders making poems for Podtoid.

Elitechief: making Destructoid more cultural one poem at a time :)



Eschatos card notes: One of the TF2 regulars, Eschatos is intimately familiar with the phrase "brb, uninstalling", the last respite when nerdrage takes over. Portrait is actually courtesy of Mr. Jim Sterling. Fun fact: Eschatos comes from the ancient greek word eásxatov, means "the last" and is generally used in connection with theology.





Neonie card notes: Yeah he's a furry, what of it?

Neonie is yet another person familiar with Kor's sexy voice, and is part of the illustrious(?) What The Furry clan along with Joel, Lucashoal and others. The whole human/furry relations reference stems from this controversial c-blog. When will all the hate stop?


Sharpless card notes: After much scientific testing, I have concluded that the average Sharpless comment has dangerously high levels of "lol" in them (scientific name: laughiferous outaldehyde loudase). I always love to read Sharpless's comments as they are pretty much always clever and original, making him one of my favorite DToiders by that criteria alone. The clowns reference and ability icons in his card is from this comic:



The Jade Raymond bit was inspired by a picture that Sharpless took while she was thinking about him and her thoughts appeared on the picture:



As per Chad Concelmo: Amaaaaaaaziiiiiinnnggg!

I tried to make a card that was just a little off kilter for Mr. Sharpless in an attempt to represent his style, hence all the crazy gender confusion.

What I'm really trying to say is that Sharpless doesn't know if he is a boy or a girl. :D

Afterthoughts

That's another pack down! Only like, uh... a million or something to go :)

Real quick before I get to what's coming soon: I'll probably be releasing cards less frequently (every second day?) because I'm going to be fairly busy in the upcoming weeks finishing my work in the lab (I'm getting published in a peer-reviewed journal bitches!) and preparing for Zambia, so please don't PM me, e-mail me, yell real loud at me etc. about when your card will get done. I'm working on them, I am but a man! You'll get yours eventually.

Coming soon

Booster pack 5 featuring:

Knives
Conrad Zimmerman
Scary Womanizing Pig Mask
MaxVest
Naia The Gamer

Secret booster pack 2 featuring:

???
???
???
???
???

Random quote... EXECUTE!

“Get well cards have become so humorous that if you don't get sick you're missing half the fun.”

~Flip Wilson



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Legacy Comments (will be imported soon)


needs moar blacksheep'ing

otherwise good work like the other 5 packs.
I love Sharpless's picture.
YES! Next pack! Along with quite he assortment of awesome Dtoiers! Great work on #4 GHost! EliteChief's is my favorite :)
Good grief! You're fast! I love 'em, keep it up!
Best booster pack ever.
You're doing good work son!
There should be a troll pack of Reaprar, Blacksheep, 007, Heritic and Nanube (or however the fuck you spell his name).
I love seeing these cards! I'm waiting for the "black" aka extremely long penis pack.
Thesse are great I think Booster pack #4 is going to be my fav for a long long time unless you make an epic pack that's full of equally awsome people.
WIN WIN WIN

What could secret pack 2 be? Could it be... ME?

Ok probably not, I'm not that egotistical
Awesome stuff GHost. I like Duffy's resistance ;)
Dammit I wish I had asked for a card back when you announced this. Is it too late? Probably is. Shit.
I don't know why by neonie's weakness: water. also, bullets. makes me giggle.

I don't giggle.
im waiting :P
I'm learning a lot more about fellow dtoiders from these packs than I really should.... good work!

Oh and congrats on your paper being published. Mine never made the cut but hopefully we are now one step closer to ridding the world of bad aids..... and gayerz
Sharpless and Neonis ones were the best, great work!
Now how do we play?
can't afford retreat cost is lulzy!
These are so great! :)
As always, thanks for all the kind words everyone :D

@Hamza

WHEW! I was worried that you would eat me for that one.

@Coonskin

It's never too late, it'll just take a while is all.
The Ghost. I'll take a card with Coonskin if that's no problem.

Keep kickin' ass.
keep on cardin' in the wind
I'm still waiting on mine, lol. But great work.
I'd totally play this likely horrendously unbalanced game were it real. Keep it up!
Waaah I want one someday! Way awesome.
I'm honored. Some day you should actually sell packs/decks of these. I'd buy ten.
Awesome work, man. Best booster pack ever. Just for the record though, that Jade Raymond image was made for me by Professor Pew. 'Twas Pew that brought Jade and I together. And I shall keep her banner flying, long after the gaming community has abandoned her for a game developer with bigger tits, like, say, Gabe Newell.

Also, I just want to extend this invitation to all female readers: You are welcome to imagine that the particular Game Gear device in my above picture is actually your vagina, if you so desire. Thank you.
I'm also pleased to see that I have the largest amount of hit points. Clearly, I will be able to withstand the greatest number of fork stabs in this group of players.
God damn you and your wittyness, Ghost. It's too awesome for me.
You rock Ghost, especially with the Neonie one. I wanna card now tho...:<.
I bet the secret booster pack is the podtoid cast.
hey thanks Ghost, I'm honoured to be a part of your Dtoid cards :)
They're actually really clever. Good job!
I wants a card! Pretty please!
DJDuffy and I share the same weakness! I guess we can't be in the same deck together. :(
OH man I hadn't clicked on this yet. Now I gotta go back and check them all out. Awesome sauce.
I have returned and deem this even more awesome than I thought possible.

Card request for me activated!
Lol..good stuff bro.
You know, 10 out of 11 doctors agree that a Gynecologist Cobra card would be amazing. The other doctor was Dr. Kevorkian, so who cares, really?
We need to find a way to actually play with these.
Well, there's always 52 Pickup....
@Eschatos: I'm telling you we need to make a card game out of this. Wouldn't be awesome to play this at PAX with a massive group?

EliteChief's retreat cost is so awesome :)

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