JUST BECAUSE GARFIELD HATES MONDAYS DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOU HAVE TO BECAUSE SOMETIMES SOMONE WILL MAKE A FUNNY CARD OF YOU AND POST IT ON MONDAY THEREBY MAKING MONDAY SLIGHTLY BETTER UNLESS YOU'RE NOT A FAN OF THE CARD EDITION

This is not the intro you are looking for...

Booster pack 10: One Card To Rule Them All



Nick Chester card notes: Nick is one of those guys. You know the kind I'm talking about. The kind of guy that just has to let you know when he gets sent free Stranglehold Berettas or high roller schwag just because he's "the editor-in-chief" at Destructoid.com.

Seriously: pschaw (pronounced pish-awe).

Regardless of how many awesome pieces of swag that Nick dangles in front of us (while no doubt chuckling at our lack of schwag) you've got to give it up for one of the lynch-pins that helps hold Destructoid together. Speaking of Lynch, it seems that Nick agrees with David Lynch about how viable watching a movie on a phone actually is.

All I have to say is A-fucking-men brother.

Now you might be wondering what the hell the portrait and ability icons are all about, and if you would settle down I would tell you.

You settled yet? Good.

The portrait is not Nick at all actually. It's his kid dressed up as Mr. Destructoid for halloween! Best costume EVAR. 11/10 (Cashwhore.com)

For real though: that's awesome.

The ability icons are actually a logo that Topher Cantler himself designed for Nick's Rock Band band Unicorn Death Foetus.

I'll bet they play a mean Boston cover :D



Grim card notes: Probably best known for his weekly FNF post, Grim is another one of our beloved Destructoid editors, and a resident gore junkie apparently.

The weakness and retreat cost are both inspired by Grim's avatar: the chainsaw dude from Resident Evil 4 (if you're still confused about the bell, think about how that first major encounter in the village ends, and if you haven't played the game go do so... NOW!). The resistance is from a short story about being shafted that Grim posted a while back. The second ability is also a reference to an Electric Six song. I don't know if Grim likes 'em, hates 'em or doesn't care about 'em, but I couldn't resist putting that reference in :)

Hopefully the color scheme and blending type don't obscure the text too much. I was trying to get this one to look a little "grittier" what with the blood red and brown colors.



Dexter345 card notes: Scholar, gentleman, poet laureate, box of crayons. Only two of those words describe Dexter, can you guess which?

I'll wait...

Dexter immediately gets cool guy points from me for being a chemist (which is where his retreat cost comes from, and if he knows that formula off by heart then we should all be very scared) because as a biochemist I can say something like: hey man, why don't you go explain why the transitional elements have such strange oxidation numbers while I go and party in the glamorous worlds of plasmid construction and proteomics?

OH SCIENCE SNAP!

Dex also hates Mega Man, started the unfortunately named "ThurDSays", baked an awesome Dtoid cake and seems to be perpetually partying with other Dtoiders. For reals, if you look at his c-blog there's recaps of all these epic events all over the place.

That lucky sonuvabitch.

When choosing Dex's portrait I had quite a bit of selection, and I'm happy with the one that I went with, but I must point out two others that I ALMOST used, but didn't because I don't hate you all.

WARNING: YOU PROBABLY DON'T WANT TO CLICK HERE

OR MAYBE YOU DO, AND THAT'S COOL TOO. I ACCPET PEOPLE OF ALL TYPES.



Justice card notes: He searches for those Dtoiders that fell by the wayside, he investigates video game music samples, he's Ron Workmans hero and he's a fan of Super Princess Peach.

HE IS JUSTICE!

Any questions?

P.S. That portrait is what happens when I do these late at night ;)




Niero card notes: This guy is kind of obscure, but he DOES work for the site in some minor capacity. The thing is, I've got a bit of a problem with him. He seems like a good enough guy and all, but he's always pimping his site. He's all "Destructoid is getting this new feature" or "Destructoid is having this contest" and "Destructoid is a fucking amazing website with an unbelievable community". I'm so fucking sick of it. Seriously, go advertise somewhere else man.

Now that I have that out of my system... How could you possibly NOT know who this guy is? The founder of the website that you're browsing right now and noted screamin' bean lover, Niero is the one person that you can thank for EVERYTHING that we have here at the 'toid, which last time I checked is the largest independent gaming blog on the planet.

DAYUM!

As for the card: the lower ability icon and portrait are some stellar pieces of art from the out of this world Ceark, the upper ability icons are official Dtoid art and the weakness comes from this tomfoolery. Also note the crown on the name and the special "uber card" symbol next to the HP, which still isn't as high as it should be. I tried to get a Dtoid-ish color scheme going on, with a green outside and a red "eye" in the middle.

I could blather on, but there really isn't any point. Just love the robot-in-chief and make him proud by helping to keep Destructoid awesome.

Personal note: Thanks for everything Niero! LESS THAN THREE :D

Afterthoughts

After looking at how much time I've got left etc. I'm going to aim to have 100 cards done before I take off, but it'll be a fight to the finish. Right now I'm at 71, so I've got a little less than 1/3 left to go! I'd also like to thank everyone for all the awesome comments and everything as I've been doing these. I'm glad to see that so many of you seem to be enjoying the cards :D

Oh, one other thing: I'm probably going to go back and touch up some of the older cards to "bring them up to code" as it were. It's just that whenever I scroll past them I think to myself: "damn, I could so easily make those look better".

So I think I will, I just don't know when.

Coming Soon

Booster pack 11 featuring...

Mr. Sadistic
Dale North
Fronz
Ron Workmeng
Kryptinite

Random quote... EXECUTE!

"ALL.

HELL.

CAN'T STOP US NOW!"

~Zack de la Rocha (Rage Against The Machine - Guerilla Radio)