(First blog post. I'm not perfect I know, but be gentle. Criticism is welcomed though.)

I've been on the internet for quite some time (Like 6 years) and I, as many of you, have noticed a certain comment poster. A creature called a fanboy. Regardless of whatever he or she is defending, it probably doesn't need it. Now I'm not talking about usual comment banter from trolls or flammers. They're out for their own fun. No, a fanboy is something of the blissful Jester, making us laugh and sometimes annoyed by their antics, but never coming to the realization of their idiocracy. The best way to combat them is to simply ignore them. Unfortunately we all now that's not the case with usual encounters. So I've come up certain species of these odd beats of the tubes in order to study and possibly destroy them

1.The Caps Mouth
"WTF WII IS THE BEST OUTTHERE CUZ IT WUS 1ST AND MARIO COULD BEAT THE SHIZ OUT OF KRATOAST!!!1!!! LOL U GUYZ SUC!!!?! ZELDaA PWNS!"
These are the easiest to identify, clearly screaming unintelligent verbal rant at the first sign of an opinion. Somehow they either forgot to turn off their Caps Lock or they really like holding down the shift key. They want their comments to get noticed and recognized, but the truly best thing to do is ignore them. They're most likely 11 or something and will quickly move on to some other thread. Either that or they have to go to bed for school tomorrow. They have no real combat strategy other than see who can be the most annoying. If you find yourself with a persistent one, its best to break down their argument with grammar and spelling suggestions. They won't take it, but they might leave you alone.

2.The Arrogant Accuser
"Whoa, look at all these Sony gaywads looking to please their master. Maybe if they found a girlfriend theyd know how homo they are. Fags"
At an older stage in life, the fanboy realizes he sounds dumber than his argument. They need a different approach..they need to prove their better, therefore their opinion is better. Thus is the thought process of one of the more common fanboy, the Arrogant Accuser. Usually in their teens or college years, Arrogant Accusers, filled to the brim with testosterone (or not) must show they're manlier side and make everyone else a homosexual for their superiority. Its no longer about their product, its now gotten personal. There's usually no use in trying to stray back on topic with these kinds. Their so focused to prove you're gay they cant think about anything else. Its best to point out their machismo won't work on the internet, because no one likes an Internet Tough Guy. They can be meddling and persistent, but the smarter ones stray away from groups. These kind usually have some sort of posse, but they can be taken as seriously as a stockbroker living at a casino.

3.The Score Keeper
"Well if you've looked in the past, Sony has better overall review scores than xbox or wii, and they have a 3.2 GHz CPU, much fatser than the xbox. I'd say those facts pretty much show how much PS3 rules."
The Score Keeper is a tough opponent for one sheer fact, they have MATH. Through logic in the can, put reasoning away in the basement, were talking hardcore statistics. Sales per year? NPD ratings? Prices, review scores, Graphs? All are ammo for these fanboys. They don't reveal themselves until the argument has begun, but their love of numbers is their opinion. That is if the numbers sway towards their desired product. They like to make WMM for youtube with Liken Park in the background to show how right they are. Games? Only thing that matters is its frame rate and metacritc score. Easiest way to dispose of them is to either find statistics to fight back, or give clear reasoning to why such things don't matter. They'll disregard that comment with a 'whatever' or try and make a comeback, but they don't fight for long. They have a chess meeting to get to.

4.The Sly
"Xbox sucks. I own all the consoles and have a live subscription, but after my 360 red ringed I found my PS3 to be better overall. It has better games and free online, other than Xbox, which has shit games and 50 bucks a month for live. WHo would pay that? PS3 is sooooo much better. Not a fanboy though."
The Sly is the craftiest of them all. Shrouded in animosity, they can say anything they want about their past experiences with consoles, but their opinion remains the same. They can fool people into an argument trap, constantly trying to show they aren't fanboys, but a spy always reveals themselves. In reality they may only own one console (or none) and just be BSing it to defend their faulty opinion. They know being loud and arrogant won't work, so they must blend in. They have to sound sort of rational, which can be hard for them. But somehow they always slip something. A fact out of place or no evidence of non-bias remarks will be their downfall. Their biggest folly is that they think they can convince us what to buy. In reality, we already have our opinions and a crafty fanboy isn't going to change them. You'll have to do some sleuthing in order to bypass this scoundrel, but its satisfying to see their case fall apart.
Note: Don't confuse an honest person's opinion for a fanboy. Maybe someone does like the PS3 over 360, it happens. If they're rational and calm about it, then no need to search for their Gamertag.

5.The Loonies
I won't give an example here. Its too hard to get into their mindset. You'll find them all over youtube in front of their grainy webcams. Not the ones who sound stupid, the ones who frighten the soundness of my soul. Those, who's benevolent power over certain fanboys is astounding, who's disregard for manners and making sense is truly their art. They are easy to find. Whether it be smug doucheness to prove themselves, or a maniacal laugh intended for mockery at other turned into an unintentional mockery of themselves, the fanboys will worship them as leaders. "YES!" they cry, "Someone not afraid to say what I believe is true, to take it a level that's almost childish, and to be so blissful in their stupidity! Finally someone I can relate to" Here is the crux of it all. Those regarded as the messengers of the people, the valiant warriors ready to defend a plastic box full of wires and metal to the death, the ones brave enough to make a youtube channel and actually be over the age 15, they are really fucking crazy. Do not respond to them, do not argue with them, don not anger them. They are meant to be mocked, not debated. Like an old star, they will become so indulged in their insanity that they will no longer be able to survive. They will collapse into an archive of time wasted that could be spent playing the damn games. A black hole of self indulgence. Like a blissful jester for the internet, they will be none the wiser.