In the quiet town of Dtoidville, there was a shirt that sat at the coffee shop. He was a medium-sized, brown button-up shirt with short sleeves and black stripes. His friends called him Broody.

He listened to the chatter of nearby people and reached over to grab his coffee, but when he tried to pull it back, it felt as if his sleeve was suddenly tied to the table. He looked over at his coffee cup, which was pouring out light like the ass end of a black hole. He tried to yank his sleeve back, but it seemed to be pulling tighter. Broody started to panic, jerking wildly and suddenly, he was consumed by the cup.

Java.

Broody awoke on his back, staring at a big set of eyes that darted around his face, which they were not attatched to. They dangled on some antennae-like protrusion which when he followed them with his eyes, he found they were connected to a large, red oblong head.

"Greetings, I am Yiff and I have summoned you here to assist my people." The head bellowed. "I represent Pluto and am currently on a mission to reclaim Plutos lost title as planet. I brought you here to help me. I posted an ad on the internet, but I was constantly reffered to someone called 'ur mom', whom I could not locate."

"Well, my schedule just cleared up due to alien abduction, so I think I can help"

Broody pulled himself off the ground and looked over Yiffs shoulder at a large monitor. It displayed a meteor field and mixed into the rocks was a fleet of ships. They seemed to be as numerous as the meteors passing by them. A shiver ran down Broodys back.

"Sorry, I'm logging off right now. I can't get enough of this game." Yiff said. The screen flashed and it went to a shutdown screen. Yiff stood up, walked across the room and opened a door. "Lets get going."

Broody walked over to Yiff and they walked out of the building. Outside the building, there was a park and woods with some some very shoddy constructions and walls. Yiff walked over to a storage shed and walked in. He emerged a few seconds later with two paintball guns and tossed one to Broody.

"I have something to confess, I set you up. This was all a ploy to give you away."

No I'm serious. Last person as of Friday Midnight EST to call dibbs gets it. I got Broody from PAX in GHosts room and I don't have the slightest idea whose it is. It smells like B.O. and all I would like to pass it around and add smelly stuff to it. Maybe in the process someone will figure out who it belongs to.

Thank you, Destructoid!

I want to thank Atari and the entire Destructoid Staff and community, but word are cheap. I don't have any money and I cant promise any sexual favors on account of a court order, so I'm going with the tried and true.... PICTURES!