|By PlatformPCPS3Xbox 360Wii U3DSPS VitaAndroidiPhoneiPadOther HardwareEditor's Choiceby Author||By LatestThe best and worst s : May Returns Axiom Verge Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel:... Grey Goo Pillars of Eternity Jump'N'Shoot Attack of Thrones: A Telltale Series:... Life is Strange: Out of Time Fossil Fighters: Frontier Bloodborne Frozen CortexMore reviews||By GenreActionAdventureFightersFree-to-playMMOMusicPlatformShootersSportsRPGStrategyMore genres|
|Xbox LIVE:||REDterror1938||PSN ID:||REDterror1938||Steam ID:||REDterror1938||Origin ID:||REDterror1938||Wii U code:||REDterror|
When 9 and 9 meet 9
Hello my fantastic friends. I have had the most interesting and life-filled week ever, and felt that I needed to touch base and share some of it with you all, because if anyone would appreciate it, it's you lovely folks. I've got another new job, my restaurant job has finally started (albeit a little oddly), and some big wedding details have finally been solidified!
If you hadn't noticed, once again I've sort of went a little bit AWOL. I haven't up and disappeared or anything, but my prescence has once again slowed. You'll be happy to know that it's not because of how I've been feeling though, I've actually been doing a lot better lately. No, it's because I've actually got some really exciting opportunities coming to me.
I was going to build up to this, but I'm actually so freaking excited and have had the hardest time containing myself about my new job. Officially starting tomorrow, I am going to be an Associate Editor with G4@SyfyGames! I will be writing news posts daily and one feature or review article every week! I can't even describe how stoked I am about this job, and how grateful I am that it was offered to me. I've always thought that I was a solid writer, but more from the academic paper-writing side of things. I'm really excited to give this job 125% though, and bring my own positive outlook on gaming to my writing.
I won't bore you all with details, but I hope that you'll come and check the site out after it officially launches tomorrow! I will not be leaving Destructoid in any way though, and I hope that my involvement with G4 News will only strengthen my involvement with video game communities and Destructoid CBlogs specifically. This will always be my home, and you've all become amazing friends to me.
It's nice to know Mr. Destructoid is just like us.
In other (less exciting) news, the restaurant job has taken off and its great so far! I made such a good impression I had a bunch of servers ask me why I had to be stuck in the kitchen and wasn't working Front of House with them. Apparently I'm very tippable? Like a cow. I was told by the Head Sous Chef though that I may be too enthusiastic. I actually thought it was a joke at first, because seriously, that's a thing? I'm sorry, am I too passionate about this job? Would you rather I just go throguh the motions like everyone else? Silly people, they just need to get used to my high-energy.
In wedding updates, caterer has been chosen. Photographer has been chosen. Ceremony sorted out. Officiant chosen. Decorations on their way. Mind melting, but things are progressing. I actually had a really neat idea for my wedding, but I'm not sure yet if it's ging to work so I need to do some more research on it. No spoilers, but if it works out you'll know soon. :)
In blog-related news, I'm going to still try and run Band of Bloggers, but I myself have not had a chance to write a blog yet. I've been playing through Majora's Mask, but with other priorities I haven't made the dent that I wanted to. If I can, I'll still get a blog out in the next couple days, but I'm spending a lot of time focusing on my first game review currently. Have to make sure that it shines. :)
There is one more thing though. I really wanted to thank you all, for everything. If I hadn't started to blog on this site and met all of you, I wouldn't have this new exciting opportunity. And it really was all of you that made this my home, and made me want to stick around and continue writing and learning about each of you. So thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart. You've all been there for me during hard times and great times, and I look forward to all the fun times we'll have together in the future. And hopefully sexy times as well.
Round 2. FRIENDS!
Dear Destructoid Community,
Back by popular demand, here is the second iteration of the Friendly Gaming Master List! I've had a handful of people message me in the past little while about the list and updates, so I've decided to bring it back around one more time. There was really no point in updating the previous one, because it would never be seen.
So if you are new to the community, or if you missed it the first time around, here's the 4-1-1. If you want to participate in this little project and connect with more members of the community, comment on the thread below with your Gamer ID for any console, Steam, or game (like LoL), and the page will be updated accordingly. Don't forget to let people know who you are from Destructoid when you are adding them!
If you're already on the list, but just got a new console or changed your ID, just let me know in the comments and I'll update it accordingly!
Bucket of Love
The Master List
Ben Davis bbain
Xbox Live: chillybill
3DS FC: 3454-1429-6473
Steam: Indie 5000
wii u : Knell.TD
Xbox Live: Canary Trap
Steam: Poke of deatH
Xbox Live: Dexter345
Dreamweaver (Earl of Dreams, Weaver of Love)
Xbox Live: TraitortoHeaven
League of Legends: DreamDecker
XBL: GC Etosi GiR
Battle.net: Shev #1563
FlanxLycanth (Kanye JR.)
FF XIV: Ferus Lynk (Zodiark EU)
GajKnight (Sexy McRompalot)
GoofierBrute (Cookie Manster)
Wii U: GoobyPls89
Wii U- BaboonBaron
PSN: kyletrapa (PS3/4/Vita)
Friend Code: 3024 - 7372 - 4609 (3DS)
Hyper Lemon Buster Cannon (HLBC, Son!)
Wii U: Cbizzle2590
XBL: iNfANT cOMA (only one with space)
Blizzard friends list : iNfANTcOMA
Xbox Live: GenericDude
Steam: Luna Sy
WiiU Network ID: MikeSkeez
Mike Martin, AKA PhilKenSebben (AKA Wonder Dick)
PC: Steam: Philopian/hillbillysk8
Xbox Live: PhilK3nS3bb3n
Blizzard: Some shit, only play Diablo 3: RoS, msg me here if you want to play
PSN (3 & Vita): MickGuerrera
Mr Andy Dixon
XBL: Mr Andy Dixon
Xbox live: Spartan 31337
Occams Electric Toothbrush
NNID: Not really sure
Xbox Live: DoctorHair
Nintendo Network: DoctorHair
Xbox Live: CrimsonNinja6
Wii U: DeGreatEvon
PSN/NIntendo Network (3ds and WiiU)/Steam: RenaudB90.
Robo Panda Z
War Thunder: RoboPandaZ
3DS Friend Code: 1006-0818-7516
Wii U: Terrorcats
Wii U: SupahBroda
3DS FC: 3797-6989-6564
Wii U: SirNinjaFace
NNID: TheSnave (Wii U and 3DS)
Solar Pony Django
Steam ID: lokik21 *(message with Dtoid name)
Wii U: KAMaxamillianK
NNID, Xbox Live: sonic429
XBL: Der Spieler Dad
PSN & XBL: TheDust34
The Scholarly Gamer
3DS Friend Code: 2853-0228-0883
[Tyrant] Rico Penguin
Friend Code: 3050 - 7686 - 8755
NNID: No idea
Steam: Soda Popkinski
Wii U: SodaPopkinski
3DS Friend Code: 0232-9659-1416
Wrath and Pride
*Last update: 3/23/2015
Happy Birthday Mr. Smithers
Yupp yupp yupp! It was my birthday on Friday, March 13th and as of yesterday, I've been able to reap some of the spoils of being old...er. My fiancee and I came to the conclusion that 27 is still considered mid-twenties, so I don't have to start freaking out until I'm 28. Which is good, I do enough non age related freaking out as it is.
Side note, I actually had a quarter-life crisis at 20 after my good friend drunkenly convinced me that at 20 years old, I had not accomplished near the amount of things I should have by a quarter of the way through my life. Needless to say, I trashed everything that night, and me and him don't really talk anymore. Much better now.
I don't know why its the case, but when you get games as a present, or games that you originally didn't expect that you were going to get, it's always so much better. As many of you know I used to pretty much buy every game that was coming out, but since I have the wedding coming up shortly, I actually have to be conscious about what I'm spending my money on. It's been sad, but also kind of nice to step back from my game-buying addiction.
Needless to say I've been much better, but yesterday my fiancee bought me Final Fantasy Type-0 and I traded in Evolve so that I could pick up Battlefield: Hardline. I don't remember the last time that I felt so impishly happy starting a new game up. Maybe it's because one was a present, maybe it's because I've been waiting for these for a while, maybe it's because the setup for Type-0 was so intense and full of the feels that I had to watch it twice. In a row.
I played Type-0 for about an hour and a half and was so stoked with absolutely everything about it that I decided to put it down for a minute and shift gears. A more mature Final Fantasy story, amazing combat system, and some solid characters already made this game feel like it was going to instantly skyrocket to the top of my Top 5 Final Fantasy games. Even just typing this is making me geek-out a bit internally.
So I started installing Hardline because I wanted to show Ashleigh the intro for Type-0 when she got off the phone, and 10 minutes into the campaign it was already one of the best single-player Battlefield experiences that I've had. Now I was geeking out hard at this, and I've never got really into a BF campaign before. 3 chapters in, I was set. Ths is exactly what I wanted from a cops & robbers style game, and I'm excited to see where the story goes, and to experience the other side of the law.
The multiplayer experience is also a step-up from what I'd seen recently from Battlefield. Not that Battlefield 3 or 4 had lacking online experiences, but I found that the modes got a bit stagnant after a while. That and Battlefield 4 was pretty much broken for almost a year. But the new modes in Hardline? Heist, Hotwire, Rescue, they are all awesome. Rescue feels like it's holding me off until Rainbow Six: Siege drops, and the other modes are great evolutions of classics Battlefield. All in all, it's a win.
Then it dawned on me. I had a demo for Final Fantasy XV sitting there waiting for me. Holy shit. Talk about sweetening the pot with a pre-order bonus, I know several people *cough* Fenriff *cough* who were hugely enticed by this add-on, and now I see why. The remainder of my night had me sucked completely into Duscae, and I never looked back.
For a demo, they have really done an amazing job opening up the game for players to enjoy, and I am going to get every single second that I can out of it. Fast-paced action combat similar to Type-0, absolutely gorgeous graphics, and gameplay that was unexpected in a Final Fantasy game but wholly welcome to me as a huge fan of action-RPGs. While Type-0 still feels very much like a more methodical action-RPG, XV was balls to the walls action and chaos. I felt right at home.
I'm looking at you XIII.
Happy fucking birthday =D. It's funny as well that these games have partially helped to lift me out of my recent slump. It's not like they're a cure, but the excitement that I've felt from playing them is something I haven't felt in a while even from solid games, and it's great to know it's still there. I think Final Fantasy games are good for that, because they really give you an all-encompassing world to lose yourself in.
Oh, and I also got myself a little present last week after an exceptionally crappy dentist appointment, and put a new 3DS on my Futureshop credit card. I know, I know, Futureshop. But I don't have to pay anything for 6 months on it, with no interest. Right? RIGHT?!?! So I also grabbed Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask 3D, Persona Q, and Pokemon X. Ok, so maybe I still have a problem. But one I don't have to pay for until after the wedding. Win-win.
I promised myself I wouldn't rant this time, so I'm going to cut it off here. Speaking of Majora's Mask though, I hope you are all playing a Zelda game for Band of Bloggers right now! My fiancee and I are Zeldaing together this month, and its been a great time so far. I'll write a reminder blog in the next week about that!
Hope everyone around here is well! I've been crazy busy with wedding planning this past week again, so haven't been commenting as much. But I've been trying to read and favourite as much as I can. :) Off to meet some caterers and a photographer tomorrow, so hopefully that will go well!
Games games games!
Stories From The Apocalypse
We made it! It was a gruelling month, but we fought hard against all odds, and we made it through. We battled giant irradiated albino scorpions and Chinese cyborg ninjas, Tanked our way through bandits #1-4522, and re-casted the set of Fallout: New Vegas to fit your primetime TV slot. Some loved every minute, while others loathed them. But the important thing is, we made it.
Well...at least some of us did. But no one can be expected to conquer the hell that is a corrupted or glitchy game file. Fallout on PC has always had a troubled past, but I suppose that's what it gets for being played by the #PCMasterRace. Racists. It is interesting that it seemed to be the PC gamers that ended up having problematic experiences, but I guess that's what you get for being able to play Fallout with cars and lightsabers. Ahem...I digress.
Thanks to everyone who participated in February's Band of Bloggers! We got a total of 8 blogs, which is great for the first month of our event! People wrote about so many different aspects of their experiences, and it sounds like everyone had a blast with it, even if some playthroughs got unexpectedly cut short. We were really stoked to see such great participation in the event, and we hope to see even more great blogs for our March Band of Bloggers: Hello Hyrule!
Nanashi started the month off strong with a journey back to 1997, to tell us the tale of Ed Temple. Like pretty much every journey into the Wasteland, Ed's started with killing Radscorpions. It's like a right of passage in almost every RPG from the late 1990s until very recently: Kill giant bugs. Wasteland wanderer? Kill giant bugs. Wizard about to save the world? Ok but first, kill giant bugs. The really lucky ones get to kill giant bugs while also being in a basement or sewer.
Ed was an exceptionally intelligent wastelander by most standards, and even founded the very first Folk band after the fallout, Ed and Ian. Even though Ian hogged the spotlight, and a lot of the XP, they had a groovy blues melody that was enjoyed by all, but the scourge of giant vermin and bugs. Because that's what post-apocalyptic folk bands do, they battle giant mutated pests with smooth tunes. Hot damn, what a time to be alive.
But unfortunately, there was one giant bug that not even Ed and Ian (or their great Overlord Nanashi-san) could overcome. Just as they were Rocking Their Way Through Junktown (first album title btw), Nanashi made the mistake of saving his game. Bigggg mistake. Everyone knows you can't save a Fallout game, especially in a blues-infused gunfight. You have to play for 50 hours straight.
And even though Nanashi's journey into the wasteland continued as he traversed the denizens of internet forums searching for a solution, Ed Temple's came to an end that fateful day in Junktown. But his struggles weren't for naught, because 13 years later (in real-life time, I have no idea how the timelines of the games actually overlap...probably simultaneously) New Vegas Radio played a song about that fateful day.
There will be a trophy waifu waiting for you on the other side, friend.
Private Lucky Pepper had a troubled past, he somehow never made it more than fifteen minutes into a Fallout game before February. Turns out he's snacky. I get it. I can't count how many times I've started a game with a slow beginning, got snacky, and began the quest of the ultimate sammich. But not today. Oh no, today Corporal Luck defeated the character customization boss (like Bruce Spingsteen) and emerged with a fancy bonnet.
Sergeant Luck did not envy the idea of traversing across Nevada on foot, and tried to enlist the help of a two-headed buffalo. No luck there. *Pauses for punny laughter* So instead, he decided to steal everything that wasn't nailed down on his quest to open a variety store for hoodlums. Not content with the life of a shopkeep, Lieutenant Luck championed his way through mutant geckos while his spurs sang out a fine tune, and realized the benefit of dynamite over a 10mm.
Captain Luck's last great deed was trying to mediate an argument between two wastelanders as he headed for Nipton, but it ended as most arguments do in a Bethesda game. With heads-a-rolling. By this point, Major Luck was content to fulfill his last deed in the wasteland: robbing people blind to create the perfect tea and biscuits. I think that deserves a promotion, Field Marshal Luck.
I'd follow you into the trenches anyday.
I'd just like to start by saying, I wholly agree. I'd love a real AMC/HBO/Netflix Fallout adaptation. There have been some alright post-apocalypse shows, but I think the Fallout: New Vegas setting would make for a great setting, and luckily our new host Riobux agrees. Otherwise I'd have to vaporize him.
We start with quite a blank slate of a character in Fallout, which really gives a writer a lot to work with. Going outside the typical white-male protagonist, Riobux discusses how black, gay, or transgender characters could impact the overall theme of the show and discuss important issues. This is what I like about Riobux's writing, he always brings up themes that really gets me thinking. I'd like to have him behind actually designing this TV show.
As far as episodes go, Riobux posits that episodes could travel from village to village tackling quests for the inhabitants. I like the idea of staying in a town for a few episodes, namely "the town with the big dinosaur" (or Novac for you picky wastelanders). There are some colourful characters and fun quests to be had at the foot of Dinky the dinosaur.
We add in some companions that will travel with the main character throughout the series, and we've got a solid Fallout show. Every protagonist needs some loveable cohorts, but mostly Rex. Really, anyone except for Boone. Seriously, leave him behind. I find him to be like the Lydia of Fallout. (I Fus-Rah-Doh'd her ass off a cliff. "Accidentally".) When Boonydia finally bit a bullet, I didn't even feel the need to reload a save.
In case you'd never seen this before;
TANK MAN SMASH....I almost feel like I could leave it at that. But I won't, because the Adventures of Tank Man were awesome. But if I did just have to say one thing about Tank Man, it would be that everything he came into contact with broke. And not just broke, but was shattered from any existence in the corporeal dimension. Including the game itself.
Tank Man is born? Kaboom. Tank Man writes the GOAT. Donezo. Tank Man's father leaves. Emotional destruction. Tank Man gets surrounded by raiders with guns? It was like 2010 and Chuck Norris jokes were all the rage again. Are you getting my point? Nothing stood in Tank Man's way.
And not only did Tank Man do awesome and catastrophic things, but they were all accompanied by a very fitting soundtrack. He also tried to find friends to join with him in his quest, but he either got bored of them or they were eaten by rabid dogs. R.I.P. John. Luckily he did come across a Super Mutant who understood Tank Man better than he knew himself, and the two became the best of friends.
Lastly, huge props to Retrofaction and Tank Man for trooping it through the game even through it crashed 12 times in 20 days. Retro saved a lot and managed to make it through the game after much struggle...Nanashi saved once and broke his completely. Oh Fallout.
If only he hadn't been eaten by dogs. Oh John-Senpai...
Well hot damn. I'm really glad that someone decided to do a full on fanfic, and if it was going to be anyone, Dreamweaver was the man to do it. A lot of us told stories from the perspective of our characters, in fact, pretty much everyone did. But Dream took it that step farther and brought us a 3-part epic based off his trials and tribulations in the Nevada Wastes. Somehow without any waifus or Nicole Watterson though. I was slightly disappointed.
A Drop to Die For was a metaphor for how the rape of our natural resources in the 21st century is leading us towards a chaotic future. You all caught that, right? On the surface, it was Dreamweaver solving the day-to-day problems of the waste (most likely the same people General Luck came across), but beneath that was a many-tiered metaphor about geopolitics and the Arctic.
Last Man Standing brought to us the real perils of New Vegas, when a high Speech stat isn't enough to belay the fighting. That and it brought to light the true and present threat of twins. Seriously, there is always an evil twin, and 9 times out of 10 they have a rocket launcher. It's Terry and Sherry all over again. I was actually playing with Dreamweaver when the scene that inspired this part happened, and it was pretty awesome. Luckily in the game, he had the ability to freeze the missile mid-air and heal when he checked his watch.
Divide and Conquer was nothing more than a jab at people who are playing Fallout 3 without the DLC and do not have access to the Chinese Stealth Armour. Seriously, it gives you like a bajillion to Stealth and cloaks you when you crouch. It's pretty much all I wear in my game, so I took the story less as a slight against me. Luckily, Dreamweaver didn't know that I was crouched around the corner with my trenchcoat and .44, and saved his life at the end there. Did you catch that it was me? Yeaaah right, a "Mysterious Stranger" did it. Be serious.
Stay Gold, Bronie Boy.
"More like Fail-out: New Vegas." Ahahaha, you can't even write that stuff. Well played brother. Fenriff's addition to February Band of Bloggers was to tell us how much a mess the game we all wasted a month playing is. Seriously, half of you could barely finish it, and over 50% of people that wrote a blog mentioned some sort of bug. I think he might be onto something. That or he was just really jaded after beating Final Fantasy XIII-2. I'm guessing the latter.
So let's break Fallout: New Vegas down according to the Fenriff Classification.
Set-up of the game and character creation: An absolute mess.
The Karma system: The dumbest nonexistent mechanic ever.
Backpacks: How many gun holsters you got bro?
Repairing: How many gun holsters you got bro?
Working as a courier: Watch out UPS, Fenriff's out for blood.
Mop Buckets: Loves them, oddly. He spent quite some time in one. Teeheehee...
Bouncing: Loves that too. Like a wasted kangaroo.
And that pretty sums up Fenriff's experiences in Nevada. And you know what the most twisted part of it all is? He admits that he wants to keep going back for more. I mean, I play games on Hardcore mode with one-hit kills, but this guy is a sadist. I think you should probably talk to someone man. Right after you're done bouncing in your mop bucket.
Holy crap on a cupcake. Does this guy ever shut up? They should call him The Rambley Gamer. Heh, burn. So first he played some Fallout: New Vegas, and apparently was kind of an asshole while he was doing it. Tried to justify it as "Neutral Evil" for like 2 paragraphs and even used a chart, but let's face it. He was just being an asshat. But then he felt bad at being an asshat, and tried to play Fallout 3 as a good person. Well, that's not entirely true either.
First he blew up Megaton, and then he decided to be a good person. You can't do that man. Trying to have your Fancy Lad Snack Cakes and eat them too. And who knows if he was even that good of a person? If his Speech skill is really as high as he said it was, he may have just been lying to all of us too. Fuck...now I just feel cheated and dirty.
3000 words later, we've learned more about this guy than we have about Fallout, and he even snuck in a fart joke. For shame. By the looks of it, he probably sunk far too many hours of his life into it, I'd wager around 100. 100 hours without a single bug though, that's pretty impressive for a Fallout game. Apparently he successfully beat Fallout 3 with the highest karma though, even though it's a pointless and stupid mechanic. Oh great, now Fenriff's wearing off on me.
Liberty Prime, you should have taken down the Iron Curtain.
Well that was a bit longer than I had originally anticipated, but hey, it's my first Recap blog and I got kind of excited. Man though...that guy was right, I really should be called The Rambley Gamer. Thanks again to everyone who participated, and we hope that you are already enjoying the wonders that Hyrule has to offer!
The Rambley Gamer
It's Not You, It's Me.
Bleh. That pretty much sums up the past couple weeks of my life. Well, actually since about January, but the last two weeks have definitely been exceptionally "Bleh". So I just wanted to touch base with you all, while I struggle to finish the Band of Bloggers Recap on top of the rest of my backlog of blogs.
As I've mentioned before, I'm generally doing a lot of things. On my plate right now are such delicacies as wedding planning, Masters thesis, learning Russian fluently, working one job which really sucks while waiting for another to start in a few weeks, and battling my constantly evolving trend of symptoms. When I ist it out right now, it actually doesn't seem like that much, but the first three items alone could be full-time jobs.
And so what am I really doing then? Well, pretty much nothing. I've really been struggling since January to balance all of these things together and work on them simultaneously, but most days I end up waking up already feeling defeated before I've even done anything. I used to get up at 7-8 am, but now it's shifted to anywhere between 9:30 and 11. If I get up any later than 11 I really feel like a bag of shit.
I used to be able to do everything. I remember when I was in my 4th year of my Undergrad degree, I was DJing at a club 2-3 nights a week as well as working as their Promotions Manager. I was finishing up all my final papers, one of which was around 50-55 pages long, as well as studying for a couple final exams. I was helping to maintain a house as a co-landlord, living with my fiancee (girlfriend at the time), getting some good gaming in, and still finding time to hang out with my friends.
I hate these things so much. Keep Calm and BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH.
And now? Getting up feels like a struggle, let alone accomplishing next to anything in a given day. It's really weird for me to feel this way, and I haven't really gotten to the root cause of it all yet. Or at least, I don't think that I have. As I am generally checking up with my doctor for my other health issues, I decided to bring this up at my last appointment, and then after about 30 minutes was prescribed some anti-anxiety/depression medication. Celexa or something.
Well shit. I'd heard from doctors before that I may have some anxiety, but I was always a mind over matter type of person. Me? Anxiety or depression? Fat chance. I'm one of the biggest extroverts you'll ever meet in person, I DJd for hundreds of people weekly, I manage a club's promotions. You must have the wrong person. My mom always recommended I try some medication as well (she's a family doctor), but I generally just flat-out refused it.
Bow Chicka Bow-Wow.
So I pretty much just swept it under the rug and powered through it for the next 2 years, until the end of my last course-semester of my Masters, where in the middle of writing my final papers I had a panic attack. First ever in my life, and it freaked me out huge. So I got some Lorazepam, just to take when I started feeling really anxious, but after going through the 5 pills I felt alright again and just powered through once more.
But about a year and a bit later, here I am again. I was stressed the past year working for the government, but it was a general 9-5ish job, and I didn't have to worry about much else while doing it. Life was pretty good.
But now, with so many things on my plate and a time-frame to complete all of them, I feel useless again. I honestly don't understand how with so many things needing to be done, I can't even focus on one of them. Most mornings, I just get up and sit on my couch looking at a blank screen before throwing Friends or something on.
Can't. Can't. Can't. Can't.
I knew it was getting bad when I stopped being able to really play games. It's not like I can't play them at all, but some days I don't even have the drive to play a game or spend time on Destructoid. It's like all I can manage is laying around with the TV on. I think the worst part about it, is that I constantly feel like I'm wasting time and my life, and yet simultaneously feel like there is nothing I can do about it.
When I think about it though, it seems ridiculous to me. I may have a lot of crap on my plate, but it's not like I've had an exceptionally hard life or even recent past couple years. Yeah, it's stressful as hell sometimes, but to me it doesn't make sense that I'd feel this way. Ugh, and that really frustrates me as well. Thinking about why in the hell I would feel this way, seems to make me feel even worse about it.
Is this what anxiety/depression feels like? I honestly don't know, because this is the first time in my life I've really felt like this constantly, but holy crap does it suck. And I have so frigging much I need to be doing, and no idea what to do about any of it. The wedding planning at least seems to be going along well, which is good because its in 3 months exactly. Can't decide on caterers though. Stupid caterers...
Anyways, I just wanted to rant a bit to you guys, because I really only talk with my fiancee about this. I think that not being part of a constant social environment has been affecting me a bit, because as an extrovert I tend to feed off social energy and feel revitalized from it. I'm hoping that my new job at the end of March will help. I'll be cooking at a JOEY Restaurant (I think you guys have those in the States), in a $10 million kitchen. Pretty stoked for it, and the people seem really awesome. But it will also being more responsibility on top of everything, so we'll see how that pans out. I just want to be able to get my work done, is that so much to ask?
Looks pretty fun!
So, that is my life in a nutshell right now. Everything to do, and nothing getting done. I'm hopefully going to have the Band of Bloggers Recap done Saturday; there was word of a couple late blogs that I wanted to wait for to include. Thanks to everyone that participated as well, we had a blast with it!
I'm going to try and spend a bit more time hanging out in the CBlogs as well, and I know I've been a bit hurting for that lately. You are all really fantastic, and I know I can always talk with you about stuff like this. Thanks for listening to my crap, I feel a bit better just for getting this out.
Love love love love love.
Я Люблю Вас Всех
So I'm a bit late getting to this blog, but between discussing ISIS and wrapping up this month's Band of Bloggers, it's been a busy one for blogging. There have also been some amazing Top 9s already, and I was unsure of how I wanted to write one.
Let's face it. I could never narrow it down to only 9 of you whom I love, and if I tried to list everybody chances are that I'm going to forget some people. If sending out my wedding invitiations lately has taught me anything, its that I may forget you even if you're part of my ceremony. So I've been playing around with some ideas, but it wasn't until watching an episode of The Simpsons the other night that I decided how I wanted to write this.
So here is my ode to my favourite Nutcrackers in this crazy community. Please press play on the video below, and then attempt to read this along with the music. When the main part stops and there is the interlude for about 20 seconds (0:28-0:48), I'll switch writing formats so that you know where you should be. This may be a complete failblog, but in my head it works perfectly. Then again, lots of things work perfectly up here that probably don't in practise.
So, without further Apu (ahahah, I will keep repeating this joke), Tchaikovsky and The Scholarly Gamer Present: Get Nutcrackin'
Mike Mcphil is the king shit,
And you know you want his dick.
Dream is like my brother
and I wouldn't want another (EVER!)
I think that Gajknight loves me most,
I'd cross the Atlantic to ride that post,
Andy keeps the community alive,
Without him we'd most surely die.
Occams is essential,
I'd like his picture on my mantle.
Retro was my first friend here,
We all are lucky he's our peer.
Elsa's like our mother hen,
Surprised she tolerates the crap we spin.
Fenriff's writing's really great
A blog a week for 8 months straight.
Now take a mental breath. You have about 20 seconds before this starts again. I was going to write something for this part, but it would just be too complicated to follow along with. This was a silly idea, and I can't express quite how much you all mean to me here, but I'm having fun with this. I'm sure even without saying anything, you all know how important you are to me and how large a part of my life you have all been. Halfway through writing this, I actually kind of want to make a recording of it now, just for some extra oomph. Speaking of Oomph, I think it was the great Genghis Khan who once said...Oh shit, here we go again!
Tonich is my Russian homie,
Of everyone here he really knows me,
Riobux, Spieler, RedHeadPeak,
They teach us lessons every week.
TheDustinThomas I'm a fan of,
ErrorMachine wielding bearded man crush.
You Can't Say That's my favourite contest,
LuckRequired you're the bomb shit.
Luna, Pixie, Wrenchfarm, Hoffman,
Strider, Dango, Nanashi, Shade and
HLBC with the stamp,
Bbain now a Front Page man,
Lastly the one who brings us cheer,
It's About to Get Gay in Here!
Phew. Well, I wasn't sure that I was going to be able to fit it all in at the end there, but I think I made it work! There are some people that I was not able to quite cram in (CaimDark, and Zerot0nin. Fuck guys, you know I love you too) and, and as I said I've undoubtedly forgot someone that probably means a lot to me. I won't start doing a bunch of honourable mentions here though, because then I'd likely just forget someone from that list. You can just yell at me in the comments. =D And shout out to the new blood around here, I look forward to getting to know you all more!
EDIT: This is why you don't write this blog right after 4 hours of wedding planning. I knew I'd forget important people.
ChillyBilly/Cold William/Bill Platt; I can't even imagine a Destructoid without you. You're everything I want to be when I grow up.
OpiumHerz; You're my German Mounting bro. I'm stoked we've started chatting more, your cynicism makes me smile.
Scield; You put up with all my lateness on FNFs and crap, and you've always been such a great guy to me.
I'm thinking of re-writing the lyrics to "We Didn't Start the Fire" for my next tribute to the CBlogs.
Love you all, and I can't imagine a Destructoid Community without any of you!