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The Incredible Edible Egg's blog

3:56 PM on 09.10.2009

Late Dreamcast love!

First off, I'm late today cause I was playing Beatls Rock Band wih the great Adam 'Welkstar' and Bryan 'Tazar the Yoot'.

Second, I was late picking one up cause at the time, I was 12 years old. Being a 12-year-old with very few gamer friends, no internet or print media for gaming news, or even a job to buy games. They all came from a combination of my sister and I tugging on our parents pantleg until money fell out, however the means.

If memory serves me correctly, I picked it up very close to the PS2 launch, which I had little interest in, being the Sega fanboy I am. I remember clearly eyeballing that copy of Phantasy Star Online whereas my sister chose Skies of Arcadia. In retrospect, those were both awesome titles and I'm glad I had em. I spent at least 1000 hours playing PSO (granted most of it on the gamecube, split screen is a necessity with siblings). Honestly, my favorite thing about the Dreamcast were the VMUs cause I could toy around with my Chao while on the go and it effected the game, however minutely it may have been.

Last thing, I was late playing Power Stone. Only first touched it a few years back and it was a blast. Power stone > Smash Bros

RIP   read

6:08 PM on 09.01.2009

Weekly Musing: Suck less, Smoke more!

Note: The author does not condone the consumption of illegal substances, masturbating in public, or pedophilia. Sometimes, you just gotta do what you do though, except those pedos. Burn in hell!

Everyone knows that there's a lot of people that have smoked weed in their lives, whether it be legal or otherwise, and there is an even larger 'stoner' community on games. Hell, just look at the names of some people online, many people using the '420' tag to express their devotion. And what about the user 'Ascythopicism'? I can't dream to pronounce that on my best day, let alone come up with that, definitely something born of drugs.

Anyway, without further adieu, here's a few reasons to roll up a joint and why that would help the community.

10. It's not a handicap if you're already suffering from the symptoms.

Most of the gamers I know don't know what the hell they are doing in the games they are playing right now.

"Well Joe, you must have a lot of stoner friends" you more than likely didn't say to yourself. Well guess what? They are the sober individuals!

Now what in Gods holy sack does that have anything to do with anything? When you play an overly-complex game that pulls you in a million directions mentally, you are prone to losing track of a few things. When people are confused, they generally get frustrated and mad. After all, you don't want to be this guy, right?


9. Chill out and take a hit

Obviously, games can be frustrating at times, as previously mentioned, but you should never let them get one up on you. It's just a game. So how do you find this zen spot? Some of the most enlightened people have devoted years of intense meditation to achieve this bliss. If you can't find a Sherpa that can lead you to Nirvana, smoke a bowl. You'll more than likely forget to find peace of mind whilst giggling about nothing, but as long as you're not fuming, you've won!

8. Sing a song together

What does this have to do with weed? Nothing, It's not always about weed, ya hippie!

7. HAHA, this video is awesome!


6. The Dude

so that's what you call me, you know. That or uhhh, dudeness or duder or uhh El Duderino if you're not into the brevity thing.

Aww, damn you Cataract, now I want some fresh tasty pancakes! I'm going to Waffle house tonight!





Man, I'm really hungry, brb!




zzzzzzz.....   read

3:41 AM on 03.30.2009

insomniatoid: spark of nostalgia

writers note: I'm tired and sometimes it helps me to sleep if I get this out of my head. I'm not in a mood to edit any of this, so I apologies for any grammatical errors, redundant points, and lack of pictures. Wheres The gHost when I need him?

Tonight I had some trouble sleeping as I often do, so I decided to turn on RetroForce Go! and try to fall asleep to the sound of the RFGO gang fapping. Turns out it's kinda hard to fall asleep when Chad bursts out laughing.

Anyways, while listening about current and past puzzle games, it hit me that the first game I remember playing was Tetris on the Gameboy. I enjoyed it quite a bit, as many others did, but I also happened to play it with my Mom. I don't get to see her much nowadays since she works halfway across the country, and she would prefer that I play less (or no) games, but it's because of her that I am who I am.

My father was in the military when he met my mother, who at the time lived in Seoul, South Korea. She knew barely any English and I don't really know much about before I was born, but I do know that I learned how to speak with her. What I mean is she would watch Sesame Street with me and put things together while trying to teach me at the same time.

When I grew up a little bit, my parents got my sister and I the previously mentioned gameboy which helped us bond further, as well as a CD-I that we used to play the crap out of chess. My mom now hates me playing games now cause I overdo it, but back then it was something special that we shared and something I will cherish forever.

Thanks RFGO for stirring up these memories except Dyson who wasn't there this show. A pizza roll with a semi-frozen center for you.   read

4:14 PM on 02.25.2009

I'm Spartacus Workman!

First off, I'd like to state that I am now and always hate being ignored. I'm right here and I have an opinion based on my own experiences and I would appreciate if I can ask a question. At no point did I ever talk to Workman about my last post previous to putting it live or this one. I'm part of the community and as such, I'd imagine that I can contribute in any way I see fit, including questioning how something is done. So please, read this blog, my blog, as if I'm writing it.

I question this because I care and hold Destructoid at a higher standard than any other site. I don't goto Kotaku, Joystiq, or any other site cause I don't care about them. I love this place and it kills me to see quality being lowered for whatever reason. I don't care about the money I'm not here to start drama. I'm here out of love and loyalty.

I would also like to give thanks to Bryan "TazarthaYoot" Coffee who deserves all credit for 'matlocking' on Destructoids Review of Halo Wars.

To Jim Sterling

I apologies about my previous blog because I got a bit flustered and lost sight of my main idea. I didn't mean to make it personal and I'd imagine that it is harder to answer questions that were poorly made, so please allow me to rephrase my thoughts. What do you think about the multiplayer aspect of Halo Wars? What were some things you liked and disliked about any of the factions? Also, if you got a chance to play around with the skulls, what did you think of them? That's what I should have said off the beginning, but I dropped the ball. I read the revised review and it covers these better than the original.

Also, if anyone on staff heard something about Charlie, I'm sure he'd appreciate it if you talked to him directly before you make any judgments.

Oh, and if you missed it the first two times, Ron has nothing to do with any of this.   read

6:05 PM on 02.23.2009

A rebuttal to Destructoids review of Halo Wars

I read the review for the upcoming release Halo Wars and there were a few things that bothered me while reading it, so I decided to do some research to check on my suspicions.

Odd, I would imagine that you would get a bit more achievements finishing a campaign. Lets go on...

Huh, nothing about completing the game? Maybe there isn't one.

Now, that makes me think. How can you complete a game without completing such large chunks. Better yet, how can you review a complete game based off about half of one campaign?

"Perhaps if you could play a Covenant Campaign from the outset, it would be more enjoyable..."

I feel this is some kind of copy paste job of a review of Halo 2 because I didn't see anything in the achievements list that suggested there was a Covenant campaign. How was that part of the game?

In short, Destructoid, please don't pretend you played the whole game when you didn't. It's hard to take you seriously when you half-ass your work.

Achievement list courtesy of   read

6:06 AM on 01.04.2009

I Hugged Metal Slug...

...with some help from him.

Also, my sister made this for my birthday. Aint that nifty?


7:37 PM on 11.26.2008

Happy Birthday The Fantastic Fur! NVGR

Happy Birthday and I hope this crappy movie is to your liking. I regret nothing.

[embed]112811:16067[/embed]   read

4:05 PM on 10.31.2008

The Fear of Sequels

Like a good Christian, the idea of change scares and offends me. I don't like the idea of someone I don't know messing with the innards of my car, nor do I like em screwing with games that I love. As most other gamers, there are games that I hold in my heart as perfect the way they are and I never want them to change, since that could potentially be devastating. This is about my fear of Sequels.

With Fallout 3 now released, I can't help but feel a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I am afraid to pick it up because as a child, I loved the storytelling of its spiritual predecessors. The post-apocalyptic world comes together with its gorgeous art style, vivid narrative, and eerie music to bring this desolate wasteland to life. From the second you step outside of the vault to meeting the Brotherhood of Steel, the game always keeps the tarnished feel. Playing this game was better than any movie or book to me, which is why I never wanted it to change. What would happen to my beloved Fallout if they tweaked it here and there? Would it upset the balance of the game that I cherish so dearly? I could only hope that Bethesda would honor the memory of the original experience, using it as a guideline to weave another tale as immersive as the last.

I've been a rabid fanboy of Sega since I was a wee youngster. When Pluto was still a considered a planet, Sonic was in, he was the Fonzy of that era. Unfortunately he also aged very poorly with his efforts to adapt to new consoles falling flat on his face. The end of the blue blurs career came to a sudden halt due in part to his inability to stay fresh. Wonky controls and camera, poor level design, and a million unnecessary extra characters helped Sonic jump the shark.

At the end of the day, I just have to hope that the developers honor the memory of the series, or at least I have noseplugs close.   read

5:50 PM on 10.08.2008

The Fear! Attack of the Plants!

My last article, I centered my topic around the young gamers bedtime. A fear most of us know, but not related to everyone and its not in-game. This week I'm going to cover something much more sinister. The fear of plants!

You are walking along, minding your own business and you see something from the corner of your eye, but its just a bush. Probably nothing you say to yourself, right before you are made into a human pincushion by a volley of arrows.

Not all enemies are strong (and stupid) enough to charge at you headstrong. Many wait silently hidden in the bushes and trees eager for you to turn your back and teach you a lesson. Some of them can't even be touched until you pass them. They're a real pain and the scourge of any forest levels due to their nature to blend in. A recent example is in Castle Crashers, the Thieves forest hides many sinister enemies waiting for the right time to pounce.

To make it worse, some enemies ARE vegetation! I don't know if they evolved that way or are in the middle of their college hazing, but a bush trying to give me a hug scares the crap out of me. The entire first area of any Zelda game (kokori forest or something rather woods) is hellbent on sending you to an early grave. Flowers try to take a bite out of you, Dekus spit nuts at you, and spiders loom above just waiting for you to casually walk towards the seemingly safe paths.

Countless times in Pokemon, I've been ill-prepared, struggling toward the next town. One poisoned, another sleeping and two other pokemon are knocked out. Trudging through the route, I try to avoid the grass at the expense of Charmeleons health. A fight and critical hit just knocked out my Kadabra, time to run away! On top of that, Charmeleon faints from the poison. Last two and one more long patch of grass. An odd matchup of a wild gloom against my diglett ends in failure and he wont let me run away! Down to the sleeping Seaking. I grind my teeth as he wittles away at the last if his HP. Blacked out and back to the last town, my gameboy sits embedded in the drywall plaster of the wall.

Best part is you can hardly use the power to your own advantage due to most NPCs having eagle eyes or bad game application. FPS? Only works on other players and even then, theres a handful of tells. RPG? Would you rather have a steel sword or a big leaf? Let me reword that, are you trying to kill something or fan them? Action or adventure? Why can't you get some badass vine-whips for arms? I'm sick of using pollen and flowers and crap to bore enemies to death.

In summary, industrialize the rainforests, throw that cigarette but out the car window and kick Smoky the bear right between his furry legs cause you might just save some poor schmuck not watching his back.   read

8:27 PM on 10.02.2008

The Fear of Bedtime

Looking back at nostalgic fears

While reading the Monthly Musing, I started having thoughts of some very prominent (gaming) fears in my mind. Most of them have now been overcome and now games are more streamlined (or easy) with infinite lives, multitude of checkpoints littered around levels, and many other things that simplify gameplay. I decided that since this is my first Monthly Musing, I should look back at the Genesis of my gaming life...

1998, gas was less than two dollars, Y2K was breathing down our necks, and the president was getting his dick wet. I remember this year well for it was when I contracted eye cancer from sitting in my room all day playing Genesis on a TV that I found in the crawl space that had knobs on it. Game saves were just starting to develop, but few games offered them. If you were lucky, you had a series of letters and numbers, with which you could make a blueprint to some wicked awesome legos.

8:20pm - I sit in my room grinding my fingers against the controller, jump over the enemy, shoot this one, missed the platform... death. Vectorman just didn't seem to want to finish this level. Dad was making his rounds, but I'm not finished with this level yet. Panic sets in, will I be able to beat this game before the dreaded... bedtime?

8:32pm - Dead, another mistake, this time something simple due to my frenzied pace. I'm running out of extra men and the grip around Vectormans balls squeeze a bit harder. I have this part of the level memorized. I shouldn't have died there! Stupid-head cheated me out of a life. Hope my sister didn't hear that potty talk.

8:39pm - "But dad, I have twenty minutes before bedtime! I have plenty of time to brush my teeth in a minute." I can feel the noose around my neck and I'm losing balance on the stool that holds my life. Dodge, shoot, dodge. Grab the power-up and bulldoze through the line of enemies... NOOOO! A swift blow from the rear, my father holding the power cord to my Genesis in his hand and walking upstairs.

"Brush your teeth, its time for bed."

The buzzer has sounded and just like that I must continue my adventure again from the beginning. All the brushing in the world can't get the taste of defeat (and carrots) out of my mouth.


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