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10:06 PM on 01.31.2009

(NVGR) 10 Things You Don't Know About The GHost

Im going to keep the ball that Silver Dragon, Jesus H. Christ and Y0j1mb0 got rolling with another 10 things you dont know c-blog. So if you care to get some insight to what makes me tick, by all means stick around!

10. I prefer the PC version

Very rarely will I buy a game for a console when I can get it for the PC. The reasons are pretty simple and practical: nine times out of ten the PC gets better DLC and patching support, often the PC version gets the major bonus of having an actual online community that makes mods etc., the keyboard and mouse are my preferred method of control for most games because of its accuracy and versatility and I find that multiplayer games on the PC tend to have fewer jackasses playing them compared to the console version.

9. I used to be a Biochemist

Before becoming a medical student, I was a biochemist. I worked in genetics and proteins for about two years on two major projects (breast cancer and tuberculosis) before deciding that I didnt want to spend my career in a lab. After that I took off for Africa to do volunteer work for 6 months or so before traveling around for fun for a bit. Now I'm all settled in Australia and ready to get a new life started... again :)

P.S. I'm Canadian

8. I replay Earthbound every few months

It was the game that changed my perspective on all other games and convinced me that titles that werent ALL ACTION ALL THE TIME!!!1!!1! could be really fun. More than that, it showed me that games can actually be emotionally engaging. Although the story isnt super complex and the characters arent well developed, I found myself caring about their journey. That was the first time that ever happened to me.

Ill probably also start playing through Mother 3 every few months now too :)

7. My first time posting anything online, text or otherwise, was about a year ago

Thats right. Im new to the internets! I had never posted in any forums or anything until I started playing TF2 on the server. I started posting there and then shortly thereafter started posting on Destructoid, and Ive been here ever since. I really need to go back and start posting on themachine again. Lots of good people over there...

6. I must 100% every Metroidvania game that I play

I dont know why. But for some reason if I play a Metroidvania game I will not stop until I have the awesome ending, the map completely explored and all of the little side-missions and extra content finished. Although Ive done the 100% thing before in other games, in no other series do I feel compelled to explore every little nook and cranny like I do in all of the Metroidvania games.

Its weird.

5. The first game I ever finished was Super Mario Land for the Gameboy

Not much else to say except that Super Mario Land fucking owns your ass.

4. I miss having a dog to play games with

Back in the day my family had a dog, and that pooch used to sit down next to me on the couch while I spent countless hours honing my skills and throwing controllers across the room. Whenever I got frustrated I would just pet my faithful companion and that would relax me enough to pick up the controller and try to get past those goddamn medusa heads/spike traps/bottomless pits etc. Now that shes gone, and Ive been living in places that dont allow pets, I find myself reaching over to pet a phantom doggy sometimes when I play games for long periods of time.

R.I.P. Mocha :(

3. I think that Kurt Vonnegut is fucking awesome

Kurt Vonnegut is probably my favourite author. He writes incredibly weird and imaginative books (most famously Slaughterhouse 5), but theres a method to his madness that draws me to his work. I would highly recommend reading his short memoirs called A Man Without A Country. Its incredibly short. So short in fact that you could probably read it while standing in the book store if youre determined enough, but man is it ever good.

2. I keep imagining what PAX 09 will be like

Its fucking months away, I have a very slim chance of going (plans are in place, but they are pretty stupid. Unless they work, in which case they are brilliant) and I really shouldnt be thinking about it so much, but PAX is on my mind almost all the time right now. I just keep thinking about what could happen and how awesome it would be to see everyone again and I keep creaming myself. My pants are constantly covered in semen and its making my life very difficult. Moreover, I find myself browsing all of my PAX and Dtoid world tour pictures (which will be chronicled in my upcoming 1 year anniversary blog) and sighing wistfully almost every time I get bored. If the stars align and I do make it to Seattle, Ill have dozens of elaborate plans arranged because Ill have spent the last 12 months doing nothing but thinking them up.

If you are thinking about going to PAX stop reading this right now and go book your goddamn flight and hotel room. You will not be sorry.

1. Im going to be writing for Negative Gamer!

Next week my first post will be going up. Woo hoo! Thanks Wardrox :)


5:11 AM on 01.29.2009

(NVGR) The Forums Are Back: My Reaction

I've put this up in the forums, but I wanted to share it with all of you that never leave the front page :)

Here are the major events that made up my evening:

Just another lame-ass day...



But something is missing. This isnt a proper celebration yet. Oh no, now its...

So I put on my backpack and headphones and went to the liquor store of course!

After a few drinks I wanted to spin a beautiful woman around while we both laughed long into the night in shared joy. But Ive only been in Australia a short while and have yet to convince any beautiful women that
Im dateable, so I made due.


P.S. FooLizs boyfriend showed me that beer that I bought. Its James Squire and its the fucking TITS.

P.P.S. If you're an Australian and have yet to sign up for the Dtoid Australia Google group. DO IT NOW! :D   read

4:39 AM on 01.23.2009

Destructoid Cards: Booster Pack 14 (NVGR)


Not much to say intro-wise other than Im slowly working on blogs in between moving to Australia, getting everything set-up for school and getting a place to stay, so things are moving sloooooowwwllly. If all goes well Ill have a bunch of free time next week just before classes start, in which case Ill be able to finish this little project.

Also, I miss my forums :(

Booster 14: Rape Closet

Eternalplayer2345 card notes: Now I dont now this guy all that well, but I think its safe to say that hes a Retrofan GO! :) For any curious parties, the portrait is Detective Conan, which coincidentally is also his avatar of choice. Eternalplayer is also a brave soul, and he proved it by jumping in front of the angry masses to defend the notion that there is hope yet for Nintendo. His weakness was especially easy to come up with because its the same as mine: Earthbound and Mother 3. Interestingly enough hes also a fan of Anticipation and since he seems to have similar taste in games to myself I think I may have to check it out (the box art alone pretty much sold me, just look how much FUN theyre having! :D). Not content to just sit around and read the site, Eternalplayer has also hugged Jim Sterling in an inappropriate (or appropriate depending on who you ask) location during the great hug-off of 09.

Also, boo homophobes!

Mikey card notes: Okay, so he may not have the most clever screen name, but one look at his art and all is forgiven. Not since Ceark and his awesomeness has there been an artist in the community that has taken on a big Dtoid project like this amazing comic. Not only is he rocking the aforementioned comic, but Mikey has also been taking requests on what to draw from the community. If you havent stopped by his blog yet, youre missing out on one of the best things happening in the community right now. Im not fucking kidding, this guy rules. Something that his art may have overshadowed is his dedication to high quality costumes, which has been chronicled in Mikeys first blog. Keep up the great work Mikey!

Counting Conflict card notes: If you dont know, then Im here to tell you: Counting Conflict is a drunk, heavily bearded, crazy-ass, cool-ass motherfucker. He is also the mastermind behind the drunken IRC based community awards. Unfortunately he has also experienced several traumatic losses, specifically hes gone through five XBoxs, hence the red ring ability icons. Did I mention that he and Yojimbo have something of a beard rivalry? Well here are some pics of Yojimbo for reference. If you ever want to feel the awesome of Mr. Conflict, just hop on IRC and get your pants down, hell probably be there to give you a nice warm greeting.
FYI: In IRC, rape is the customary greeting.

Tactix card notes: I actually had too many things to put on one card here, so Ill put the big one that I missed up first. Tactix started a little something called Dtoid Community Discusses, which is a great little idea that parallels the semi-regular Dtoid Discusses front page posts. Check it out and let Tactix know if youre interested in participating!

OK, Im done with the boring stuff. Lets get to the rape closet :)

I had the immense pleasure of spending quite a bit of time with Tactix both when I was in LA, where we both stayed with Aerox, and in San Francisco, where I stayed in his apartment one night. Now you all need to understand something. I love Tectix, hes an amazing guy, no doubt about it. But I did get a bit weirded out when I saw his rape closet. Its in his bathroom, and its a trap door about head level that opens into a room with a bed. I cannot stress how strange this room is or what horrors go on in there. Unfortunately I dont have pictures, but trust me. Its strange. Lets abruptly change subjects shall we? Methinks a whole new paragraph is in order!

Thats better. Now as everyone in IRC knows, Tactix is the source of all things science. Just head into the channel and yell SCIENCE! And Tactix will be there in a flash to answer your no doubt ridiculous question. On top of that you can always count on Tactix to drop the high-class fashion bomb. Wherever he goes he sets the scene with his trademark fedora, which has spawned a series of imitators, but we all know who started it. Something else you should know is that when Tactix gets drunk, he gets gay. Its crazy to watch, but believe you me: it happens. Hes also a big Chad Concelmo fan and has a thing for Squirtle. Something that he advertises via his Rio made Squirtle hat. I could go on for several more paragraphs, but I dont want to gush too much. All you need to know is that Tactix is a bad-ass motherfucker and he WILL rape you in Street Fighter II (using a pink T. Hawk), Marvel Vs. Capcom II and his rape closet.

Ben Perlee card notes: Another awesome guy that I got to hang out with in San Francisco. You may also see Ben moonlighting as TopgearGorilla (his old account) or just Topgear (in IRC). Dont be scared, he only bites if you ask him to.

Ben also seems to have two fetishes: chickens (cocks) and aviators. The aviators I can understand, but you got me as to why cocks. Well thats actually not true, I think we ALL know why cocks :) Anyways, he and Tactix both attend the same school, so Id bet dollars to donuts that he holds the record for seeing the inside of the legendary rape closet.

Ben is also a fanboy for gaming industry people, something that springs from his great love of not just games, but the people that make them and write about them. Hes also trying to break into the industry so wish him luck! Hes a great guy and I hope that he makes it :)


Stop. Dont do it. Dont ask me for a card, please. Im still getting requests (and re-requests) from people almost daily and theres no way that I can make it through all of them. Asking me for a card wont get you moved up the list.

Thats all I have to say about that. So, uh, stay in school kids!

Random quote... EXECUTE!

"I am Grimm Shado," said Grimm Shado, his triple wand claws extending. "And I am here to take it to the limit."
-The Song of the Sorcelator, page 179 (Penny Arcade)   read

2:36 AM on 01.21.2009

Super Dtoid Swag Postification!

I was going to include all of this stuff in my upcoming first birthday/Destructoid world tour (wherein the world consists of the UK, Canada, the US and Australia) wrap-up post, but once I had finished writing that thing it was 8 pages and that was without any pictures. Seriously, Hideo Kojima is more concise than I am. Anyways, while Im busy cutting that thing down into something more manageable I figured that Id put up a post featuring some of the cool swag that I was sent in the last while. Hope you all enjoy coveting my stuff! :D

First I wanted to put up a new picture of my laptop, which Ive been getting Dtoiders to sign since PAX. Unfortunately some signatures have worn off, but shortly after PAX I was able to get a hold of a clear adhesive sheet, so even though some of those signatures faded a bit before I got it on the rest are now totally safe. Im trying to find another sheet to protect the other signatures. But havent found anything quite yet. Hang in there little black felt marks!

(click the image for a larger version)

The next picture is me and some of my swag that has been arranged all pretty like.

Included in the swag are Detrys Dtoid secret Santa presents that he sent me (Ninja Gaiden II and Legend of Zelda), which are both fucking awesome games that I didnt already own. Thanks Detry! The Boo-Mario and copy of Dynamite Headdy I picked up while looking through some import/used game stores in LA with Naia and Zero Atma. The Super Metroid cart was generously donated to me by Dyson when I stayed at his place and we almost managed to beat it in one sitting with Topgear (Ben Perlee) looking on in amazement (fuck you Ridley!). The rest of the stuff I received from Colette and Niero just as I was heading to Australia. Im not sure what else to say other than THANK YOU!!!!! :DDDDD Included in the package was a game gear, a copy of Legend of Illusion Featuring Mickey Mouse, a new Dtoid shirt (which replaces the one that I lost while I was in Africa), a Ninjatown sticker (which I think Ill be putting on my backpack), and best of all: a Dtoid condom! Now that Ive taken a picture of it I can go get laid. Ill be right back...

I just want to once again thank you all for being fucking rockstars, especially the random swag bag from Colette and Niero; that was like Christmas all over again, but sexier and with more robots. While Im at it Id like to publicly thank Aerox , Dyson, Naia and Zero Atma for giving me places to stay while I was in LA and SF. You guys made that amazingly awesome trip possible for me. Id also like to thank a number of other stupendous people for a number of other incredible things, but Ill save that for my 1 year post where Ill do a run-down of all the Dtoid related traveling that Ive been doing lately.

Also, apparently...

I love you too Dtoid. I love you too :D

P.S. <3

P.P.S. Relevant image: what Aerox does for fun.

P.P.P.S. Another relevant image: Gutless Wonder drops his pants at Dysons place. Look how happy CTZ is!


2:34 PM on 01.06.2009

For Those About To Tyra Tuesday: I Salute You

Tyra will be the first female president. She already has our childrens educations in mind.

When she takes over your internets THERE WILL BE NO ESCAPE.

She cups the balls and sucks like a hoover.

She gives people free cars.

She is a goddamn DOCTOR.

She writes under the pen name "Chad Concelmo" here at Destructoid.

She was on The Man Show

Never forget the true reason for Tyra Tuesday: Raptor Jesus, whom went extinct for our sins.


12:32 PM on 12.26.2008

(NVGR/Slightly NSFW) Destructoid Cards: Turkeylicious/Forums LIVE! Edition


If you don't know what Snowflake day is, please educate yourself.

Anyways, I hope that everyone is enjoying the holidays as this will probably be the final holiday season before the complete and total collapse of the world economy sends us spinning into the dark abyss of anarchy and destruction. Considering that, what kind of pre-apocalyptic holiday would this be without some more Destructoid cards? A depressing one, that's what.


Booster Pack 14: The One Where Banj and Serp Corrupt Everyone That Comes Into Contact With Them

Banj card notes: This was a tough one because it's like trying to make a card for a force of nature; a force of nature that makes some of the best sexual innuendo you've never heard. Seriously: he takes it to places previously explored only in the most sensual and elaborate poetry. If you've never heard of this guy, then you've never been in the forums, in which case you've been missing out on another awesome facet of the greater Destructoid community. Case in point: if Destructoid was a city then a must see attraction would be the interplay between Banj and Serpentish. Just be careful that you don't get caught in the middle, unless of course that's what you want.

Unfortunately Banj has recently been reamed out by the man for the holiday season. At least it led to an awesomely derailed thread!

Sometimes Banj and or Serp will toss out an awesome quiz that will no doubt make you its bitch. Don't be afraid; just let it happen.

I know he rubs some people the wrong way, but I love this guy :)

Oh yeah, here's a related picture...

Serpentish card notes: Speaking of related; Serp and Banj are the second cards that I've ever added some sort of interaction between (the first being Atheistium and Pheonix Blood), which just makes a lot of sense. As I mentioned in Banj's card writeup, these two guys make the forums a much more interesting place to hang out, and by interesting I mean erotic. Both Banj and Serp were supposed to show up for PAX '08, but Banj decided to piss in an alley. Do you believe the story? WE REPORT: YOU DECIDE. (I've been away for a while, does FOX still use that slogan?)

The time warp thing is a reference to both the phenomenon of some forum posts appearing above previous posts (you reply to someone before they put their post up) and Serps ability to go back in time and bang your mom.

Who's your daddy?

Portrait picture was provided by Detry/Aerox, and is fucking AWESOME, and the ability icons are the ubiquitous foxes that Serp uses as his avatar. Did I mention that I love this guy too?

Anus McPhanus card notes: There seems to be a running theme here. You see, I also love this guy. You see, when I went to the UK, McPhanus was basically a case study in how to be an awesome person. He was very accomodating, allowing myself and Justice to stay at his place when the tubes were shut down for the night, he was a lot of fun to hang out with and talk to, and I beat him in some wacky Japanese arcade game using only one hand. PERFECT! :)

Not only is McPhanus awesome in the real world, but he's pretty great with them innernets that the kids seem to like. For example: take a look at his deconstruction of Rev Ants deconstruction, or his feel the hatred article, which might look at reviews a little differently than you might be used to. Really all you need to see though is his MvC drinking gam to realize that this little AZN packs plenty of win with him.

Now many people qualify for the "Best Of Both Worlds" ability, but I figured it's as apt in this case as it is in many others, so why not use it here? We also talked a bit about that whole subject in person when I was in the UK, so that also makes me associate the idea with him a bit more than others. Regardless, as the ability (and really most of the rest of this booster) suggests: the forums are a fine place to hang out too :)

P.S. For your protection I've removed my ugly mug from the picture :)

Nintendoll card notes: One of the coolest ladies of both Destructoid and Negative Gamer, something I can personally attest to after having met her at the amazingness that you're all sick of hearing about: PAX '08. On the interwebs Nintendoll holds it down by posting front page worthy memories of Harvest Moon 64 and giving us powerful insights into the workings of her sometimes booze addled brain.

Nintendoll is also a founding member of what I'm going to call the Black Yoshi Brigade. It's a coalition of coolness made up of Nintendoll, Suff0cat, Wardrox, and ScottyG, all of whom bought matching Black Yoshis at PAX.

Black Yoshi also has his own blog!

Now, on her c-blog sidebar Nintendoll says that she hates the Atlantic Ocean. I can only guess as to why that is :)


I had some stuff that I was going to write here, but it's Christmas eve and I'm going to go get drunk now instead and post this on Christmas day*

*Or the day after, whatever.

Random quote... EXECUTE!


-Me   read

7:09 PM on 12.20.2008

(NVGR) Destructoid Cards: They're Baaaaaaaaack


So as some of you may remember, a long long time ago in a galaxy far, far away I saw this wonderful little thread and decided to contribute a few cards. An exercise that culminated in this epic rap-up post, which you can feel free to check out, if you're still confused, to get some more background information. Anyways I left the country and went to a place where internets are few and far between, but now I'm back and I'm feeling like it's time to finish this thing.

Originally I was going to do 100 cards and I ended up falling short of that goal with only 86 completed before I left. So for the next little while I'll be whiling away some of my free time making cards for various Dtoiders that I'll be picking for various reasons. Alright then, time to get down to business and make some good old fashioned Dtoid cards!

*cracks open ye olde photoshoop and a traditional coal powered internet browser*

Mini Booster pack 13: Nobody Asked For This And I'm A Slacker

Dan Gale card notes: Before I met him this guy was one of my favorite Dtoiders, mostly because of his great comments and his love of Retroforce GO!, but that didn't prepare me for the amazingness that is DAHN GAH-LAY LIVE! For reals, this guy is almost too cool for school, and school is pretty damn cool. Don't believe me? Just read this amazing c-blog detailing which songs he would like to see in Guitar Hero: World Tour. You Can't Hurry Love? The Touch? Hold The Line? You're The Best Around? It may very well be the greatest track list of all time.

As if that wasn't enough to trip your awesome alarm, he also came to Wardrox's defense just when Wardrox needed it the most. He's like a modern day Robin Hood, except for dudes that record European podcasts.

I should also point out that I stole this super emo picture of Dan from Facebook, which I've used to show you what he would look like without his Hannah Montanna fix. Frightening, I know! When he gets his Miley Cyrus on, he's about as upbeat as 1/2 a Chad Concelmo, which is to say that only 4 puppies are following him at all times instead of 8 and he only causes a single rainbow to break through the dreary London skyline rather than a double rainbow through the dreary LA skyline.

As I mentioned before: Dan also enjoys Retroforce GO! as much as I do, which is a lot (hence the classic Retroforce cube ability icons), and a while back Dyson (the then host of the show for any of you n00bs) made a joke about how he kept mispronouncing names, and that he would mispronounce a name as simple as Dan Gale as DAHN GAH-LAY! Thus a legend was born and Dan Gales name was officially changed for the better :)

The last reference comes from Mr. Gales attempt to stay on top of the European virtual console and post up reviews each week to help his fellow Eurogamers spend both their time and money wisely. Unfortunately, and perhaps inevitably, it was both Mr. Gales money and time that started running a bit short, and so the project was abandoned, but he still has an impressive back catalog of concise, informative reviews up for anyone that needs a good virtual console recommendation.

P.S. He also hates 8 year old girls, which is a position I fully support after reading that c-blog :)

Stella Wong card notes: For those not in the know, Stella goes by the name Aiya on Destructoid, so next time you see her in the comments you'll know that it's time to shore up some RESPECT. Stella came in to become the newest member of the most wonderfullest amazingest retroest podcast that there is: Podtoid!

No, wait. I mean...

Retroforce GO!

Pictured in the card along with Stella are her fellow podcasters Chad Concelmo and Collette Bennet. Now I'm pretty sure that that's Niero in the back with the helmet, but lets just pretend that it's Topher; that way my choice of picture makes more sense. So now it's Topher under that helmet OK? SO SAYETH ME!

Speaking of Topher, I'm pretty sure that it's appropriate to assume that Stella is weak to all Topher based attacks :)

For the ability icons I went with something featuring Rick "Pimp Supreme" The Hamster, partially because Stella really likes him and partially because I really like him. The card color scheme is a "Kirby pink" in a poor attempt to keep things consistent.

If you listen to Retroforce GO! at all then you know that one of the things that Stella hates are some of the terrible North American localizations of wacky Japanese games. Whether it's replacing the music with top 40 pablum, or removing content entirely, those ham fisted localizations have got to go. On a similar topic, Stella has a stellar (cwutididthur?) knowledge of obscure games of all kinds and nary a week goes by where I don't hear of some new and wonderful game that I missed, which is great even if I'll never have the means to play many of them.

Finally, Stella is notorious for her uber cute openers on Retroforce. Whether it's singing a couple of lines from a song or just saying "hi" Stella brings the cute, and the funk, every week.


Some people might be wondering why there's only 2 cards in this post (I used to put up 5 in each booster back in the day). Well all I can say is that I'm pretty busy right now getting the next stages of my life and career set up (I'm moving to Australia in January for the next 5 years) so I'm writing and shooping various things (not just cards) and posting them on a "yeah this looks more-or-less done" basis.

Just to get this out of the way: no I'm not taking requests and yes, I am going to stop at 100. I've got to cut it off somewhere :P

As always: there's nothing special about what I do with these cards. It's just a template that I shamelessly stole and tweaked ever so slightly. So if you got a hankering to make a card for yourself or someone else, by all means go for it. I just make these because I enjoy it and people seem to like them.

I know that I've said this before already, but it's good to be back :)

Random quote... EXECUTE!


2:07 PM on 12.10.2008

(NVGR) Retroschool GO! Or: What Dyson Has ACTUALLY Been Doing

A while ago Dyson left Retroforce GO! without warning, and since then he has only been heard from intermittently. Soon after his departure there were hints dropped about his travels, but eventually the trail went cold. Recently there has been a flimsy attempt to convince the community that he has been busy at "work", a ruse that included a completely pre-recorded appearance on Retroforce GO!. That's right, Dyson's part on the recent RFGO! was recorded months before he seemingly fell off the face of the earth, and it has been carefully withheld in order to string us all along. No one has publicly revealed where Dyson actually is, or what he's been doing all of these months...

Until now.

You see I happened to find out what Dyson was really up to while I was traveling. Im not sure that he would want me making this public, because he avoided telling anyone out of modesty, but fuck it. In the noble tradition of JOURNALISM and TRUTH; I must expose this farce.

You see Dyson has actually been setting up retro gaming schools for children in Africa. Awesome, I know. And even better yet: I took some pictures of his school in Zambia and scanned a copy of one of his flyers describing the schools curriculum. Check em out.

There you have it: undeniable proof, which was collected using both JOURNALISM and SCIENCE with a heaping helping of TRUTH, that Dyson Grigsby has been trekking the globe, trying to keep the Retro alive by making sure that the next generation of children appreciate the last generation of videogames.

Godspeed Mr. Grigsby. Godspeed.

Random quote... EXECUTE!

Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.

- Will Durant   read

11:51 AM on 11.28.2008

UK Meetup(s)

Heyo, I'll keep this short and to the point:

- I'm now officially in London!

- I'd like to meet some of you!

- There's a forum thread for getting things together!

- Tomorrow (Saturday) and the next day (Sunday) I'll be available for socializing/merrymaking at your pub/house/brothel of choice!

- So far nobody has suggested a place to meet, so if I don't get anything from anyone tomorrow when I check the intertubes, then I'm going to go find a place that's fairly central, announce it on the forum thread, go there, and whomever shows up, shows up, and if it's just me, then I'll just drown my sorrows in a bottle of gin!

- I'll be around until Dec 13th and if anyone is interested in arranging a relatively large gathering before then, then by all means let eveyone know where you are and when you're free on the forum thread!

-Exclamation point!

- I'll also be traveling to other places in the UK, which places partially depends on if anyone wants to meet up with me. So if you can't make it to London, but still want to meet me or arrange a gathering elsewhere, then by all means let everyone know!

I think that pretty much covers it. Just remember: I'm open to anything.

Anything   read

2:52 AM on 11.09.2008

Attention UK Dtoiders: Let's Go Get Drunk

First of all: Hi to all of the Dtoiders that know who the hell I am. It's nice to be back on Destructoid again!

Second of all: Hi to all of the Dtoiders who don't know who the hell I am. I'm sure that you're all just full of awesome after the initial "Oh God it hurts so good" rape period that occurred after your introduction.

Third: I've already posted this on the forum, and I realize that I'm all selfish and whatnot, but I want to make sure that I get a hold of as many Dtoiders as possible for this.


1. I'm coming to the UK (London specifically) on Nov 27th and I'll be traveling around until Dec 12th.
2. I have no plans whatsoever during that time. I'm just going to make it up as I go.
3. I'm totally willing to travel to meet up/hang out with any UK Dtoiders that are interested.
4 n00blets. Hi, my name is Cameron, I'm 22 years old and I've been away from Dtoid for a while.

I think that's pretty much all that needs saying. If anybody wants to get together with me while I'm in the UK, or if someone wants to get a NARP together (which would be BAD-ASS), by all means, e-mail me at...

the___ghost aht hotmail dawt calm (that's a triple underscore)

I'll check my mail whenever I can, but it's going to be a bit sketch as I'm traveling to and around Madagascar for the next two weeks. So if I don't respond to any questions etc. right away, just know that it's because I hate you/can't get internet access.

One of the two anyways. :)   read

7:32 AM on 09.03.2008

PAX: Bonus Pictures Edition (Literacy Not Required)

With my last desperate grasp for internets, I secured myself a connection at Heathrow airport while waiting for my flight. What this means is that I can finally upload some photos (couldn't do so from my hotel).


This is one of my favorite photos, it was taken the first day I got to Seattle after I ran into Wardrox, Tazar and Pheonix Blood completely by accident. The camera is propped up on a bunch of bags. From left to right: FooLiz, Riser Glen, SuffoCat, In the back is Tazarthayoot, Droobies is in front of Tazar, Droobies girl is in front of Droobies, Myself, Pheonix Blood, Wardrox, Nintendoll and Asian Joe AKA The Incredible Edible Egg.

I got a bunch of people to sign my laptop. It all started with Niero and snowballed from there. The one signature in particular that is sorely missing is Mr. Chad "Dolphin King" Concelmo's :( I'm also looking for a way to keep the signatures from getting wiped off, right now I'm just being extra careful when handling my laptop.

Really don't think that I've gotta explain this one. That's Macca on the left there being awesome sauce all over the place.

Tazar is BAAAAAALLIN! That's that Cri-STAHL right there.

The first night I met Dyson, we were both at this bar getting wasted, and I wanted to get him to sign something, but the only thing I had were some off-sale beers that we were totally not drinking in the bar because that's totally not allowed...

Anyways, I got him to sign my beer, and here it is in all of its glory!

Droobies is just a cooler person than you are, and this picture proves it.

The man train that formed the first night that the entire group met up.

Ceark picking up SuffoCat so that he can take him back to his hotel room and sexually ravage him. Note the massive amount of swag that SuffoCat managed to grab.

Nick, Niero and CTZ. The all star lineup stops by and says hi to all the drunk Dtoiders below.

DJ Duffy, Necros, FooLiz and Kryptinite serve up a quintuple order of hawtness.

Dear editors,

Front page this image right now.

That is all :)

I could use a picture of this scene that's technically "better", but in this one you can see the tears starting to well up in Niero and Rio's eyes. This was taken on the last night of PAX just before things were starting to wind down.

I just fucking love this picture. Tazar (right) and DVDesign (left) move in while Pheonix is distracted...

Probably the best picture of Dyson that I've seen so far.

These are pictures taken of "the survivors" that left Tuesday night. The brave men (Asian Joe, whom is not pictured, ScottyG, Tazar and myself) and women (Wardrox and Pheonix) that made it through PAX and decided that they weren't done yet. These were taken at the hotel just before our bus came to pick us up.

Well that pretty much does it for me. Some of these are my pictures and some of them are FooLiz's, hopefully I didn't step on her toes by posting some.

Forgive me Liz? :)

For a recap of some of my thoughts on some of the community members, check my last blog. Who knows? Maybe I mention YOU! Maybe it's something scathing! Maybe I shooped a picture of me peeing on your grandmothers grave or something! Maybe I did pee on your grandmothers grave! You won't know unless you read it.

As always, thanks for reading my ramblings, and I'll be back on Destructoid in a few short months.

Random quote... EXECUTE!

"None of these blogs have captured what PAX actually FELT like or meant. Only Chads really came anywhere close."

-Pheonix Blood   read

11:09 AM on 09.02.2008

PAX: The 4am Wrap Up


Since there will inevitably be like 1000 PAX related c-blogs coming soon to a Destructoid near you, I’ll try to keep this short (I will also likely fail). PAX was an amazing experience and I would highly recommend that anyone who is interested in both having fun and meeting awesome people start saving money for next year. You could not ask for a better way to spend your shekels (that’s for you Tazar) than by coming down to hang out with all of the amazing community members and Dtoid staff. Personally I had never joined any kind of online community before early this year, not even a forum, and I wasn’t really sure what it was going to be like actually meeting all of these essentially random people from the internet. As it turns out, pretty much everyone is absolutely amazing, and you’ll probably hear many different people saying the same thing in the PAX c-blog flood.

It was essentially like a weekend long group hug, only with more liquor.

The last night of PAX was actually a tearful goodbye, with both Niero and Rio getting a little misty eyed after we got kicked out of the bar and many people started taking off. It was totally insane to me that a bunch of random people that met over a gaming website could develop connections like that, but it also felt totally natural somehow.
I’m heading to Zambia to teach at a nursing college (among other things) until December 13th, and I never thought that I would be this depressed that I would be in a place without internet for a few months, but I gotta do what I gotta do.

YET MOAR WARNING: The next part of this post is going to be personal thoughts about some of the Dtoiders that I met and some of the things that happened to me at PAX, so if that sounds boring, then you should probably leave now...
This will get pretty long if I don’t mention someone please don’t take it personally. I just can’t mention everyone that I met because there were just too damn many. I’m also typing this up at 4 in the morning because I can’t sleep with CTZ snoring, and I’m still somewhat buzzed from PAX, so my writing and memory might not be so great. Now on with the show!

- When I met Samit Sarkar for the first time we just sat down and talked for quite some time. Here’s the thing though: Dtoid and videogames almost never entered into the conversation. We just kind of got into discussions very naturally, and I thought to myself: wow, why can’t I meet people like this where I live?

- Chad “Souplantation Superfan” Concelmo was AMAZING. Seriously, I can’t even believe how nice that guy is and it depresses me to no end that he left before I was able to get his signature on my laptop. I guess I’ll just have to show up to the Dtoid anniversary or something ;)

- Blehman blew me away. Not only is the dude just as witty and awesome in person as he is on the site, but he’s super easy going and doesn’t afraid of anything. We went to see Frontalot together, and I just wish that he had been able to stay for longer (Chad too!) so that I could put several more babies in him.

- Lovely lovely Pheonix Blood was one of the first people I met from the Dtoid community because I just so happened to be walking through a mall where she, Wardrox, Tazar and a few other people were grabbing lunch. I couldn’t have asked for a better group of people to have run into. A few minutes after I had met them I was waiting in line for food and Tazar slapped my ass HARD followed by Holly getting right up in my face, staring me down, and then giving me a peck on the lips. It took me about 3 hours to process what the hell had just happened.

- Unlike Tazar and Holly, Wardrox skipped the foreplay and went straight for the gay sex, which I pretty much figured was coming, but what I didn’t know was that he was also going to turn out to be a Wii fanboy. THAT’S RIGHT, YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST: WARDROX IS A WII FANBOY! In all seriousness though, Wardrox was an intellectually stimulating guy to talk to, and it was a lot of fun just shooting the shit with him.

- Dyson was a goddamn train wreck of awesome, and was a blast to hang out with. He also signed a beer for me that I will never ever drink. EVER. I’m still finding it kind of surreal that he also started my favourite podcast of all time. All awesome all the time indeed.

- Topher and Stella I didn’t see much of, but I did want to say this: they were both super cool people, and I wish that I had been able to chat with both of them a bit more. Oh, and If Topher is reading this: I was not disappointed in the least man; you got me loving shmups.

- McSnow was a thoroughbred bad-ass extraordinaire and we ended up spending quite a bit of time together over the weekend. He was always a relaxed and engaging guy, and it was great just hanging out with him during the whole event.

- Necros got lit on fire (if the video isn’t up yet, it will be soon), put on joker makeup and basically just made me laugh a lot. Now the question I have to ask myself is this: is he a cool guy, or the coolest guy?

- Tazar deserves another mention for being the king of innuendo and the single entendre. Just throwing that out there.

- Holly also gets another mention for telling me that I sometimes do stuff that’s sexy, but then again I also do some stuff that’s pretty gay. I think that I’m just going to mentally block out that second part ;)

And before anyone asks: no I’m not gay. Smartasses.

- FooLiz, McSnow and I formed the commonwealth comrades (name pending final FooLiz approval for being too communist sounding) and mediating the Australia/UK conflict has become one of my favourite PAX memories. Here’s hoping I get into Med School in Australia!

- As it turns out, Ceark and I are no match for Rio when it comes to Mario Kart DS. She beat the hell out of us like red headed stepchildren even after we decided to team up against her, leaving us hollow shells of the men that we once were. SuffoCat tells me that he can beat her, but I don’t believe him ;)

P.S. Rio has the coolest mom on the planet

- DJ Duffy and her girlfriend Liz along with Scotty G and myself made up the Canadian contingent at PAX, and I was extremely happy to have met all of them as sometimes it feels like I’m the only Canadian on Dtoid. Hopefully Mix can make it next time too :)

The above list is me just trying to get a few (certainly not all) of those specific memories out onto a blog before I start to forget things, and is by no means a list of all the people that I met that were supreme examples of the way people should be. What was great about PAX for me was that most of the conversations I had and things that I did didn’t have to do with videogames. For me the games were a peripheral thing, and the main thrust was basically just hanging out with everyone and talking about whatever came to mind. I never felt awkward or at a loss for words when I was hanging out with everyone and great conversations just seemed to flow constantly one into another.

Over the next while people will no doubt get sick and tired of hearing variations on the phrase “it was great, everyone was awesome” over and over again, but it’s going to get used so often because it’s true. Here’s a short, and incomplete, list of people that knocked my socks off that I have yet to mention.

- Aerox
- Colette (I still can’t believe that you said that you had already recognized me when I introduced myself)
- .Tiff (you’ll be missed!)
- Riser Glen (turns out he’s actually a pretty cool guy, go figure ;)
- Butmac/-D- (they’re like the same person)
- Keener
- Nintendoll
- The Incredible Edible Egg
- Phist
- Dale North
- Itemforty
- Naia and Zero Atma
- Husky Hog and the mystery of the disappearing hat
- Powerglove
- Kryptonite
- Qais
- Dexter345
- Conrad Zimmerman
- Fuck it, just go look at the list of PAX attendees. There isn’t a name on there that I met that doesn’t deserve to be mentioned.
- Even better yet, take a look at one of the group shots that was taken after the Dtoid panel. Yes, we are actually having as much fun as it looks.
- Hell, I’d say that we’re having MORE fun than it looks
- Also note that Chad is floating a couple of feet above everyone. He was standing on a rainbow that magically formed underneath his feet from positivity spill-over.

Finally I just want to mention Niero. I could talk about how he got the bill for like 50 people (maybe more?) that one night, or his awesome speech at the Dtoid panel (including answering my incredibly poorly phrased question by getting at what I was really trying to ask), but all I’m going to say is this: Niero is the kind of guy that you want to see succeed. He was humble and the epitome of graciousness, despite having to balance the craziness of PAX with actual work. Thank you Mr. Robot in chief, thank you for making a place where a community like this one can form and someone like me that doesn’t really know any other gamers can find some sanctuary, and even meet up with other like-minded people.

Well, the sun’s coming up and it sounds like Dyson, CTZ, Wardrox and The Incredible Edible Egg are starting to wake up. Looks like it’s time for me to go get in some more good times before I take off this evening for Zambia. See you in December Destructoid!   read

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