I came home from the forums today to Valentin Seleznyov trying to play "Troll Destructoid". He wasn't doing very well. "Aw, bless" I thought, then recommended we get him a grizzled team of professional excavators to help remove his head from his ass.

He wasn't too happy with the suggestion.

Now I'm sure it's just a stage, but he seems to have his heart set on being weapons grade cocklossus. So, I started to think about what would happen if he ever became a serious troll. Maybe he'd transcend the boundaries and constrains of trolling via the internet and find a way to exist purely as energy, able to take his non corporeal sentience into the very tubes of the Internet itself!

And I'm not sure I'd be too happy with that

I don't know if any of you have noticed, but the trolling members of the destructoid forum don't get a special profile badge symbolising their douchebaggery. That's not fine.

If I was a troll (and not the personification of femininity you've all come to love and respect) I'd find that kind of degrading. There are plenty of suitable douche symbols that could be used. Like the Moon used as an incubator, or K-fed.

I certainly wouldn't want Valentin Seleznyov to be victimised in any way. Just slap on a big neon sign and let the pieces fall where they may.

Like I say, there are plenty of appropriate ways to visually represent douchebaggery.

Something like this, but perhaps it could be made more douchey.