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3:15 PM on 08.06.2009

Aborto's Ultimate Tag Team Contest

My team is pretty simple but , atleast I think, kick-ass. Rather than bullshit you I'll get straight to the content.

1. Rorscach

Simply put this guy would kick ass, hes ingenuitive, resourceful, and mean. Going by MvC2 rules I believe his special would consist of a giant flamethrower or a nice homemade arrow to the chest!

2. Commander Shepard

The main character from one of my favorite games ever he wields a massive arsenal he could unleash. not only this but his specials could be almost anything, he has many friends and colleagues he could call upon and many ships and weapons he could use to crash or blast his enemies in a large special.

3. Deadpool

I don't have much experience with him as my exposure to him hasn't been very deep so far but from what I've seen he'd be a badass. He's got weapons, wit, and more. His specials could inmclude making fun of your mother or jus shooting you in the face. Sounds great to me!

My post is simple and sweet as I think my characters mostly speak for themselves. They have power, creativity, and I think a 3 way special of a flamethrower, Wrex biting your face, and Deadpool shooting it off would be awesome.   read

4:54 PM on 07.21.2009

Actually the worst thing ever......

I..I have no words.......

[embed]140828:20819[/embed]   read

12:54 PM on 12.08.2008

OH SNAPS!- Soulja Boy coming to Xbox 360

Simply put here is the interview from where he spills the beans on what is sure to be Game of the Year 2009-2012....

"Soulja Boy video game is coming for Xbox 360 in 2009. After I put the Xbox 360 challenge up on the Internet, it was over all these video game sites. And a couple video game companies hit me up on my email because I put the email on there too. And hit me up like, Blah, blah, blah, blah. So I was like, Oh snaps! So I forwarded to my management, and they forwarded to my label. And now were doing the video game."

via Kotaku   read

6:26 PM on 10.29.2008



Title says it all. The only thing it doesn't say is something that goes without saying, King3vbo and Necros are fucking sexy manbeasts and should release a porno. Maybe "FailBlast! All over his face!!!!"   read

10:29 PM on 08.21.2008


Ummmm so yeah..... Super Mario RPG is out on Europe's Wii virtual console now!

Congrats Europe, You're decent for once!!!

Via Kocktaku   read

11:59 AM on 07.17.2008

E3 Expo 2008: Spy Sappin Ma Interest!

So its E3 08 and there have been a few good and a few bad things and, depending on who you ask, its been pretty meh overall. For me no spectacular announcements of unknown games have happened and information for existing games has been pretty good. Simply put I would not call this the best E3 ever. To add some meat to this post I am gonna tell you my top and bottom 3 moments of E3 so far.

Best Things of E3 08

1.) The Destructoid crew being there.

Not only do they bring us the news in a way we care about but for those fortunate to live in LA are going to enjoy a party on Friday with MYSTERY guests, my bets on Colette and Niero.

2.) Fable 2/Fallout 3/Other RPG goodness.

With all the trailers and gameplay demonstrations of upcoming RPGs I can honestly say that my life and money are gone.

3.) This....thing(?)

Worst Things of E3 08

1.) No announcements of price drops for the PS3

Simply put I am a kid without a yob so I don't have a real income. I had hoped that there would be a price drop so that my chances of getting one for Christmas or with my own money are kind of slim. An 80 gb PS3 for the current price is nice but I planned on upgrading the HDD anyways and no Backwards Compatibility kind of made that announcement not all that spectacular.

2.) No release dates for big name titles

If Sony had announced release dates for some of their Grade A titles I might be more inclined to buy a PS3 before an inevitable price drop. If their were announcements from Nintendo I might not regret buying a Wii and stop dreaming about selling it. If Microsoft had announced a release date for FFXIII... nevermind that would be bad because it would get my hopes up. :\

[embed]95826:13236[/embed]   read

12:21 AM on 07.07.2008

FREE MS POINTS!!!!!!1111!!!!

You can earn points through this website.

Make an account and make sure you check that you would like to receive ms points. Then everday create a car and rate a car earning yourself 100 ms points perday. You can only earn a max of 2000 points but free points are free points right? At the end pf the promotion they will send you a code for all the points you earn which you will enter into and then redeem through your Xbox or for the Zune, heheh.


Trust me i read the fine print

OK?   read

4:15 PM on 07.05.2008

OVER 9000 / Win COnrad's Dreamcast contest entries. (VGR)

Darious Pickman and the Epic Orgy of Awesome

Conrad Zimmerman had been bored with his fiancé lately and needed something epic to fap too. He conjured up a plan and sent Mr. Darious Pickman to investigate for fapping material. Darious was confused but proceeded to investigate. He cam across the chance of a lifetime, a gay rave at Marcus Fenix’s mansion hosted by Bearcremento.

Darious snuck in the day before the party using his private eye skills and set up video cameras to film the action. He did this to hopefully capture video for Conrad to enjoy. See, Darious is a private eye so he really knows that Conrad enjoys hot, rippling muscles more than soft, warm, pillowy, comforting boobs.

The day of the party was a spectacular day! Darious stepped into the mansion only to be greeted by the highest echelon of stars including Master Chief, the black guy from Crackdown, Gordon Freeman, “Solid” Snake, and other assorted stars. Darious began mingling with the people and had picked up on a few hints that there would be even more fun for certain people after the main party ended. He became intrigued and began to put his private eye skills to the max. He eventually found out they were planning a great gay orgy in the master bedroom. He took this opportunity to talk to Master Chief in hopes of seducing him.

“Hey Master Chief ya wanna go fuck?” questioned Darious brashly.

“Well, uh, I, errm, I guess.” Mater Chief answered quivering.

“Don’t worry Cortana won’t mind.” Darious assured Chief.

“That slut?! She’s off fucking Atheistium! Screw HER! Screw ‘er!” Mater Chief yelled back as he began to cusp Darious’ sweet ass.

Darious was excited he knew this was his ticket to the big show. He was in! They scampered off to the master bedroom excitedly. Darious’ heart was racing his ass was getting tight. For some odd reason his body was saying no yet he wanted it SO bad. Master Chief felt his finger getting squeezed as it sank into Darious’ clenching ass.

“Calm down sexy, it will be okay I have plenty of “Armor Grease”.” Master Chief said whispering sexily into Darious’ ear.

“O..Ok.” Darious’ said relieved.

As soon as he heard these words his ass unclenched and he got a throbbing urge in his penis. It was the largest erection he had ever had! They had entered the master bedroom at this point and Darious’ eyes grew large as he saw how big of a bed he had to frolic around on with the Chief. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the Chief begin to take off his armor.

“Your so much hotter than I could have ever imagined.” Stuttered Darious as the drool began to fall from his mouth.

“Just you wait,” Master Chief said as he began to take of his space undies, “the show is about to begin.”

Darious began to suck gently on Chief’s large, becoming hard cock. It began to become too big for his mouth and he began to choke. He pulled out quickly gasping for air and said.

“I don’t know why they call you Master Chief when they should call you Master Beef!” Darious choked out as he felt Chief’s pubic hair tickle his face.

“I…I love you….Cortana doesn’t appreciate this gun as the most powerful weapon in my arsenal.” He said this showing all his emotions.

“Well I want it in my arse.” Darious said as he spread his ass wide.

The chief got some armor grease and began to slather Darious as to be prepared for his Master Beef. He then spanked Darious and grease splashed back onto Master Chief’s face. The tip of his cock began to tremble as this sensation reminded him about what was t come a nice hot load of sperm on his face. The time had come he started fingering Darious’ asshole and then shoved his penis into his ass. Darious began groaning in pleasure and pain as the large cock slid back and forth. Mater Chief grasped Darious’ juicy cock and began stroking it making it harder and harder. Cum began to drip from Darious’ cock and Master Chief could tell.

“Just wait a little longer, it will be worth it.” Master Chief said as he felt himself ready to cum.

Mater Chief began stroking harder and harder as he heard Darious’ groans grow louder. The Chief pulled out and squirted a metric fuckton of sperm. Darious felt his back begin to break as he realized Master Chief came OVER 9000 OUNCES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He rolled over and let the sperm cover the bed so much it began to overflow. Master Chief stood looking over Darious appreciating the work he had done. As he pondered if he would have any energy left for the after party Darious came on Master Chief’s helmet.

“That was so good!” Darious and Mater Chief exclaimed at the same time.

“Jinx you owe me a blowjob!!!!” Mater Chief yelled as he realized that he now had another chance to tap Darious’ sweet ass.

They sat there in the cum relaxing after such a strenuous workout when all of the sudden they heard.

“BOOM!!!!! WHATS UP SUCKERS I’M GONNA TAKE A SHIT!” yelled Cole Train as he burst through the doorway and dropped a Cleveland Steamer on Darious and Master Chief.
“OH GOD YES! IT FEELS SO GOOD!” Darious yelled as he began cumming furiously.

The sensation was great but didn’t last too long, so they went back to relaxing in the hot delicious mixture of cum and shit.

Far away in New York Necros felt a disturbance in the force. He knew white people were being harassed by a black man. You see Necros is a racist and he knew it was his mission to right a wrong. He immediately ran to the mansion with his shotgun and burst through the master bedroom door and charged after Cole Train. Unfortunately he sucks at First Person Shooters and was immediately killed by Cole Train. Jibs of Necros flew everywhere some even landing in the cum, shit, and now bloody jibs stew. Fortunately Necros hair did not fall into the mixture because that would just be disgusting.

After a few more minutes of stewing in the concoction Marcus Fenix and company showed up for the after party orgy. They were shocked to find what they saw yet they saw it as a n opportunity to have the greatest experience of there lives. Master Chief and Darious were tired but they mustered up enough energy to fuck and have another awesome orgy.

After the festivities Darious brought the tapes back to Conrad. Conrad was ecstatic after viewing them and immediately left ImpossiblePlant and married Master Chief. They have since lived happily ever after occasionally inviting Darious over for amazing orgies.


(Have fun fapping to this Destructoid it took me awhile and it all came out of my mind... DONT LOOK AT ME THAT WAY!)   read

10:24 PM on 05.07.2008

Magic the Gathering (nvgr)

I want to start off by saying I am obsessed with Magic. I go almost every friday to Friday Night Magic to hang out with friends and test for big tournaments. I constantly scour the internet to try and find the latest tech to bring to Pro Tour Hollywood.

So with that out of the way we can get to the meat n' potatoes of this blog. I want to know who in this community is familiar with Magic? Are you obsessed like me, or am I alone on this front? I think Magic compliments gaming very well because of the atmosphere of the stories as well as the great community of Magic.
I love this game and I am proud to say I've spent way more money on Magic than I did on games within the last year. I'm having to change my pants every day I wake up and realize Pro Tour Hollywood is one day closer. So yeah I <3 Magic if ya couldn't already tell

Also, is anyone from Dtoid heading to Pro Tour Hollywood cuz if you are I'd like to meet the Dtoid community.   read

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