My Party Set-Up (after my buddy Mecha)

As you may have read in my pal MechaJesus' Blog, he's had a great idea for designing the perfect party, and I think it makes a great thought experiment. Since he outlines the rules fairly well, I'll just jump right into my team with the explanations.

Dan McNinja


Granted, his son may be the nicer guy, but don't tell me that Dan with his Mustache of Power isn't the better fighter. Added bonus: he once lit himself on fire to evade capture. We'll need that kind of lateral thinking when we get in a bind.

Kol Skywalker


You may be thinking, "There are better Jedi to pick," and you'd be dead-ass wrong. It took about a dozen Sith to kill him with Force Lightning, and that was after he'd been shot in the heart. And he was already on top of a mountain of dead Sith and Stormtroopers when that happened. Added bonus: Force Healing powers and the sweetest sideburns this side of our own ZeroTolo.

Thomas Jefferson


One of the finest minds ever produced by the Western world, Jefferson has the ability to plan around all kinds of problems that we'll encounter. I would've gone with Ben Franklin, but there's that pesky pacifism to deal with. Added bonus: he's a good enough leader and people-wrangler to get the Founding Fathers to agree, so he could solve all kinds of inter-personal issues.

Iron Fist


Don't know who he is? JFGI; I don't care, he's my all-time favorite super hero. Aside from superb martial arts skills, recent issues have had him discovering new depths of power. Added bonus: he's a multi-billionaire, and one of those new powers is even more healing for the squad.

The Ninth Doctor


I know we're all biased towards our first Doctor, but come on. Force of will, as smart as anyone in the galaxy, and willing to dismantle an entire army if he doesn't like it. Besides, we need someone else who'll understand Jefferson's plans. Added bonus: the TARDIS is pretty much the ultimate party vehicle, especially with its built-in Bag of Holding.

Phoenix Wright


Do I need to explain? He can get us out of all the trouble we'll get in from local authorities, and maybe even talk our way out of a boss fight. Added bonus: observational skills make for epic looting.

St. George


Dude fought a dragon. Naked. And won. That gets left out of most versions. Long version: George knew his armor would do nothing against a dragon, so he melted it down and prayed, putting all of his doubts into the box made by the melted armor. The dragon was so stunned by his audacity and will it let its guard down, allowing for the killing blow. Added bonus: he's a saint. Could come in handy.

Stephen Fry


As bards go, you could do a lot worse. Fry is a modern-day Oscar Wilde; gay, brilliant, and good at things most people don't even learn in college. Added bonus: he's friends with all kinds of people. His hookups could be our gateway to all kinds of awesome side quests.

Hal Jordan


Much like Mecha and his Batman inclusion, this one is so overpowered it feels like cheating. He's Hal F**king Jordan, man. Even if the ring runs out of juice, he's still got the meanest right cross in history. Added bonus: as a pilot and military man, who knows what kinds of toys we find he could use?

In closing, I think this team could breeze past any challenge. I'd love comments on my squad, but for yours I recommend making your own post, I know I'd love to read them. Just give credit to Mecha, since it's his idea.