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About
Ducks live on me.



Sometimes they make me do things.

UK Dtoider in the Midlands, I spend too much time ignoring Steamtoid, and used to spend too little time "organizing" EUFNF on the forums and c-blogs. I have a mighty underused PC, an Xbox 360 (slim), a PS2 (also slim) and a DSi (slim... I guess?) Sometimes I play games on them.

Currently a final year Media Production (BSc, science bitches!) Student, but I spend most of my time doing Student media instead. On here.

I had a c-blog promoted. For me, it was a Monday.


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One of the things that amused me overnight in Superior Skypetoid was a certain member who shall remain nameless playing Sims 3 after a recent attempt by Juani to simulate 8 of us living together, having made a sim that perfectly represented him he proceeded to live out his life through the game...

[1:07:44 AM] Skypetoider: THE MAID JUST TOOK A SHIT IN MY BATHROOM AND THEN SPENT THE LAST HOUR THERE USING MY COMPUTER, WHAT A DICK

[1:08:37 AM] Skypetoider: I am so popular the town has elected me to Governor of the State without me running for election, HOW DOES THAT EVEN WORK

[1:11:19 AM] Skypetoider: got my lifetime wish done before being an adult, awesoooome

[1:11:56 AM] Skypetoider: idk if I should break this girl's marriage and then marry her, or if I should break her marriage and then break up with her after some sex

[1:14:26 AM] Skypetoider: I got my lifetime wish by sucking up to the boss which is one of my many best friends
[1:15:49 AM] Skypetoider: this fat bitch keeps ending our relationship

[1:21:56 AM] Skypetoider: I just came back from home from a speech I gave in the hospital
[1:22:01 AM] Skypetoider: I was shirtless the whole time

[1:25:04 AM] Skypetoider: I am now the Vice President you guys

[1:27:53 AM] Skypetoider: oh shit, I just asked the married doctor to "stay over"

[1:28:19 AM] Skypetoider: oh shit I just got denied =(

[1:29:52 AM] Skypetoider: ok this is fucked up

[1:30:09 AM] Skypetoider: this married chick is sleeping with me on her undies on a saturday night, nothing is going on though


[1:31:14 AM] Skypetoider: very very shirtless of course

[1:31:36 AM] Skypetoider: cause I made Sully have sex with Sam
[1:31:38 AM] Skypetoider: oops

[1:35:46 AM] Skypetoider: HAHAHAH I JUST MADE THIS MARRIED CHICK MOVE OUT OF HER HOUSE
[1:35:51 AM] Skypetoider: AND IT'S ALL OKAY WTF

[1:41:06 AM] Skypetoider: hah, broke them up, am hooking up now

[2:00:35 AM] Skypetoider: damn crazy bitch is playing the guitar on her undies in the bathroom

[2:01:35 AM] Skypetoider: now I'm gonna cheat on my girl
[2:01:43 AM] Skypetoider: with her ex-best friend
[2:03:36 AM] Skypetoider: yep, hooked up with her
[2:03:46 AM] Skypetoider: in front of the hot blonde maid in a french made costume
[2:04:07 AM] Skypetoider: ATTENTION I AM HAVING SEX WITH THIS WOMAN

[2:05:10 AM] Skypetoider: I am going to ask my current girl to marry me when she comes back home from her work, she's a paramedic btw

[2:05:28 AM] Skypetoider: I shall see if it's possible to keep fucking with her ex best friend behind her back

[2:06:50 AM] Skypetoider: okay
[2:06:56 AM] Skypetoider: is my sim a massive douche?

[2:21:47 AM] Skypetoider: I GOT MY LOVER PREGNANT

[2:27:37 AM] Skypetoider: made the lady catch me cheating
[2:27:55 AM] Skypetoider: apologized
[2:27:46 AM] Skypetoider: gonna try and ask her to marrry me tomorrow

[2:28:01 AM] Skypetoider: I want to see how far I can take this
[2:28:02 AM] Skypetoider: into madness

[2:29:18 AM] Skypetoider: oh fuck, I was busy having sex and destrying two girls lifes forever and forgot to attend an important work related party

[2:30:22 AM] Skypetoider: OH SHIT
[2:30:24 AM] Skypetoider: MY LOVER HAD A CHILD

[2:30:49 AM] Skypetoider: it's named Claude, that's french, I must throw it down a flight of stairs

[2:36:16 AM] Skypetoider: I'm never calling this chick or her child ever again
[2:36:25 AM] Skypetoider: she's calling me, I'm not answering

[2:37:34 AM] Skypetoider: I'm going to get this chick's trust back
[2:37:37 AM] Skypetoider: and then i'm going to fuck her some
[2:37:45 AM] Skypetoider: get her pregnant
[2:37:50 AM] Skypetoider: and break up with her too

[2:38:07 AM] Skypetoider: fuck getting married now, this relationship was tainted by my cock that wouldn't keep still

[2:40:08 AM] Skypetoider: I should get it on with the maid too

[2:43:26 AM] Skypetoider: THE MAID STOLE MY STEREO
[2:44:10 AM] Skypetoider: BITCH I'M GOING TO HATE FUCK THAT ORANGE TAN OUT OF YOU


[2:52:04 AM] Skypetoider: OOOOOH SO THAT'S WHAT I DID WRONG
[2:52:07 AM] Skypetoider: I DIDN'T USE A CONDOM
[2:52:08 AM] Skypetoider: FUCK

[2:52:36 AM] Skypetoider: HOW WAS I SUPPOSE TO TELL THIS BITCH TO ABORT HER BABY IF IT TAKES A DAY FOR IT TO BE BORN?
[2:52:47 AM] Skypetoider: FUCK YOU AND YOUR MAGIC CUNT

[2:53:05 AM] Skypetoider: well this is stupid

[2:53:19 AM] Skypetoider: how am I supposed to know Woo Hoo means sex?

[2:53:25 AM] Skypetoider: I asked her to try for a baby

[2:53:30 AM] Skypetoider: and the bitch didn't say a thing
[2:53:56 AM] Skypetoider: I didn't know I could use a condom, I thought it was some kind of gamble you know
[2:54:03 AM] Skypetoider: like a game of blackjack
[2:54:07 AM] Skypetoider: but inside her uterus

[3:05:25 AM] Skypetoider: I'm trying to trick this silly woman into having children and then leaving her

[3:27:19 AM] Skypetoider: I'm having trouble with this lady, she's a doctor so she works for insane amounts of time

[3:45:35 AM] Skypetoider: holy shit why is there a random person in my game:?
[3:45:41 AM] Skypetoider: from the internets
[3:45:46 AM] Skypetoider: is he gonna fuck my girl?

[3:46:03 AM] Skypetoider: I'm gonna insult him
[3:46:06 AM] Skypetoider: his name is cyclon3
[3:46:26 AM] Skypetoider: automated spell checker checker is his job?
[3:46:27 AM] Skypetoider: wut?
[3:46:29 AM] Skypetoider: fuck him
[3:46:47 AM] Skypetoider: cyl0n3 sw0rd to be accurate
[3:47:04 AM] Skypetoider: WHAT HE INSULTED ME

[3:49:28 AM] Skypetoider: ATTENTION ALL
[3:49:51 AM] Skypetoider: I AM HOOKING UP WITH THE MAID IN THE SAME ROOM THAT MY GIRLFRIEND IS SLEEPING IN
[3:49:56 AM] Skypetoider: AFTER A HARD DAY AT WORK IN THE HOSPITAL
[3:49:58 AM] Skypetoider: SAVING LIVES
[3:51:05 AM] Skypetoider: what, my girl was observing that while pretending to sleep? is that what just happened
[3:51:22 AM] Skypetoider: is she going to get revenge on me or something?
[3:52:00 AM] Skypetoider: I can't sleep in the bed?
[3:52:11 AM] Skypetoider: guess it's the sofa then
[3:52:16 AM] Skypetoider: fucking bitch, this is my house
[3:52:18 AM] Skypetoider: not hers
[3:52:28 AM] Skypetoider: I should get her pregnant and leave her just like I did with her ex bff
[3:53:09 AM] Skypetoider: oh look, she woke up pregnant
[3:53:29 AM] Skypetoider: she's smelling and wanting to play computer games already, fucking nerd
[3:55:24 AM] Skypetoider: I'm argueing with her
[3:55:26 AM] Skypetoider: and I broke up with her
[3:55:36 AM] Skypetoider: but she's still living with me
[3:55:52 AM] Skypetoider: I tried to compliment her but I insulted her instead
[3:55:59 AM] Skypetoider: dude
[3:56:06 AM] Skypetoider: this is going to turn out into great sitcom
[3:56:36 AM] Skypetoider: I just declared her my nemesis
[3:57:13 AM] Skypetoider: hah, she hates me and we're sleeping in the same bed
[3:57:27 AM] Skypetoider: what, my dude won't sleep on her bed?
[3:57:37 AM] Skypetoider: I'm throwing this bitch and her magic pussy out of here
[3:57:43 AM] Skypetoider: I'm the Leader of the Free World damnit
[3:59:40 AM] Skypetoider: okay she told me she's pregnant, my dude ran away to work, I'm sure it has to do with him being late for it though

[4:12:48 AM] Skypetoider: well I can't kick her out what is this

[4:18:15 AM] Skypetoider: great I have another son
[4:18:29 AM] Skypetoider: called Einstein
[4:22:56 AM] Skypetoider: just fucked this maid chick
[4:23:02 AM] Skypetoider: I didn't know she was maid
[4:23:04 AM] Skypetoider: she just happened to be

[4:25:14 AM] Skypetoider: should my sim marry and have kids?
[4:25:16 AM] Skypetoider: so I can continue his epic quest?

[4:26:42 AM] Skypetoider: yeah I'm going to know her traits
[4:26:52 AM] Skypetoider: and then see if she's appropriate genetic material for my amazing child
[4:27:03 AM] Skypetoider: I have two bastard sons already and one of them is a couch potato, urg
[4:28:01 AM] Skypetoider: the other is athletic and artistic so I guess I can accept him as my child
[4:28:37 AM] Ivor: not proud of your couch potato son?
[4:28:49 AM] Skypetoider: no fuck him
[4:29:03 AM] Skypetoider: and he's also "good"

[4:32:01 AM] Skypetoider: man there's nothing for my sim to do right now
[4:32:14 AM] Skypetoider: he's just woke up and worked out
[4:32:28 AM] Skypetoider: I wish there were prostitutes in this game
[4:34:50 AM] Skypetoider: I just bought the book place
[4:35:29 AM] Skypetoider: and I'm going to rename it to something awesome
[4:35:32 AM] Skypetoider: any suggestions?
[4:36:01 AM] Skypetoider: I'm thinking of "Jizz Worthy Literature" to be classy you know

[4:36:58 AM] Skypetoider: how about "Reading is Like Butt Rape But More Unforgettable"?
[4:37:14 AM] Skypetoider: oh well, it doesn't fit
[4:37:18 AM] Skypetoider: like butt rape
[4:37:20 AM] Skypetoider: haaah
[4:37:23 AM] Skypetoider: still, it doesn't fit

[4:38:51 AM] Skypetoider: Cocksmashing Literature since 1921 is an option guys
[4:38:53 AM] Skypetoider: should I take it?

[4:39:44 AM] Skypetoider: I KNOW
[4:39:53 AM] Skypetoider: I'M GOING TO BUY THE HOSPITAL SO I CAN FIRE MY EX
[4:40:36 AM] Skypetoider: not enough money, but enough money to have a share of it
[4:40:39 AM] Skypetoider: soon I will fire the bitch
[4:41:07 AM] Skypetoider: and change the hospital's name to "Morgana You Are Fired"
[4:41:17 AM] Skypetoider: or maybe to "Morgana I Never Loved You"
[4:41:26 AM] Skypetoider: which should I pick?
[4:41:42 AM] Skypetoider: oh I just met some chick
[4:41:52 AM] Skypetoider: I'm going to trick her into bed with me too
[4:42:01 AM] Skypetoider: oh fuck she has a boyfriend?
[4:42:04 AM] Skypetoider: I'm going to make them break up
[4:42:24 AM] Skypetoider: hopefully a bastard son don't come out of that relationship like last time

[4:45:35 AM] Skypetoider: should I have a child with the maid?

[4:47:37 AM] Juan: WHY WON'T YOU THINK OF THE CHILDREN!?
[4:47:48 AM] Skypetoider: I am thinking of them
[4:47:56 AM] Skypetoider: of how many I can collect before dying
[4:49:57 AM] Skypetoider: not in a bad way
[4:50:19 AM] Skypetoider: I'm not trying to collect their bodies, just trying to father the most amount of children I can before I pass away

[4:51:32 AM] Skypetoider: ok
[4:51:34 AM] Skypetoider: here is the thing
[4:51:39 AM] Skypetoider: I was already the ceo of a great org
[4:51:44 AM] Skypetoider: and the president of the fucking world
[4:51:49 AM] Skypetoider: I'm thinking of taking another job
[4:52:39 AM] Skypetoider: I'm thinking of being a professional football player

[4:53:44 AM] Skypetoider: professional thief or something?

[4:53:57 AM] Skypetoider: wait since when is my sim friends with a little boy?

[4:56:18 AM] Skypetoider: is it wrong that before I had sex with the maid I paid her daily salary?

[4:56:50 AM] Skypetoider: well
[4:56:57 AM] Skypetoider: she's cleaning the house now
[4:57:45 AM] Skypetoider: and now she left cause I had to go to work

[5:00:32 AM] Skypetoider: I-I'm no longer friends with my son?
[5:00:43 AM] Juan: D:
[5:00:47 AM] Juan: Which one of them all?
[5:01:37 AM] Skypetoider: the fuck if I know
[5:01:56 AM] Skypetoider: the non imbecile one
[5:02:01 AM] Skypetoider: I mean, french

[5:24:56 AM] Skypetoider: I can't have babies with the maid cause she's latina and there are too many people in her house
[5:26:10 AM] Skypetoider: so I'm tring to impregnate this chick who used to be slutty teen
[5:26:21 AM] Skypetoider: and apparently her boyfriend is still a teenager in high school
[5:26:38 AM] Skypetoider: so I'm going to strike while the iron is hot and pounce on that ridiculous relationship
[5:26:49 AM] Skypetoider: I'll also introduce her to The Cock

[5:29:05 AM] Skypetoider: my lifetime wish was completed in 20 minutes of gaming
[5:29:09 AM] Skypetoider: so I started metaing
[5:29:44 AM] Skypetoider: I'm going to write a novel
[5:29:51 AM] Skypetoider: it's a science fiction novel
[5:30:59 AM] Skypetoider: it's going to be named "Crotch Planet: A Tale of Evolution"
[5:30:39 AM] Skypetoider: it's about penises and vagina shaped animals in a planet
[5:31:02 AM] Ivor: so you decided on a writer for your profession?
[5:31:04 AM] Skypetoider: it's a skypetoid reference
[5:31:09 AM] Skypetoider: nah
[5:31:27 AM] Skypetoider: I'm going to be a superstar football player
[5:31:39 AM] Skypetoider: but I'm going to write novels on my days off

[5:31:56 AM] Skypetoider: I used to be a CEO of a big company
[5:32:03 AM] Skypetoider: and then became the leader of the free world
[5:32:17 AM] Skypetoider: and now I want to be a professional ball player
[5:32:23 AM] Skypetoider: and a writer on the side
[5:32:31 AM] Skypetoider: I'm also going to own all the buildings in this place
[5:32:36 AM] Skypetoider: and leave children around the place
[5:32:46 AM] Skypetoider: I'm going to die in a military career
[5:32:49 AM] Skypetoider: like a warrior

[5:49:39 AM] Skypetoider: Crotch Planet 2 flopped in the book stores all over murica
[5:58:17 AM] Skypetoider: why are all maids kleptomaniacs in this game?

[6:05:51 AM] Skypetoider: my sim wished to be mean to his ex
[6:05:57 AM] Skypetoider: which is also the mother of his child
[6:06:03 AM] Skypetoider: he's learning
[6:06:17 AM] Skypetoider: he's still not an adult yet wut?
[6:06:20 AM] Skypetoider: still a young adult
[6:08:02 AM] Skypetoider: my sim isn't even flirty dude

#Brazil
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