Top ten video game shoes!
Yes, probably the most underrated part of any video game, but it is the most important item of everyday use.
Let me take you though my TOP TEN VIDEO GAME FOOTWEAR!
10- A pair of bright yellow shoes that i believe contain a small device inside them that projects an image of a floating torso,arms and legs of the character Rayman. The brains are definitely not in the head so they must reside in the shoes.
9- With 14 pairs of 5 inch platform boots and shoes, Space channel 5's Ulala, manages to walk, talk, dance, dance some more with not even the slightest inkling of a sprained ankle, with this observation, my conclusion is they must incorporate anti gravity technology far too complex for the primitive human brain to comprehend.
8- Allegedly all brown baby Yoshi's are turned into a comfortable yet sturdy pair of practical footwear after they are born, which explains why all other Yoshi's have a fine pair of shiny booty's and you never see a brown Yoshi. Either that or someone on Yoshi island is making a hefty mint.
7- Having gone though and survived multiple tombs, various watery holes, polygon changes, and the angle of darkness, Lara's boots, yes i said boots, have somehow lasted over 10 years meaning that these boots have to probably be the most economical and amazing boots in existence.
6- The realisation that Waluigi is a looser character, went out of the window after seeing these booty-licious beauts. Tanned and possibly leather, these curly bundles of wondrous joy takes me back to my Prince of Persia days when the prince himself once had a pair of these hot hoofs, only to be traded in for straps of cloth and blisters.
5- Without these boots you cant progress further into the game, so when you acquire them, its a big deal, but still, how the hell can Link not jump 'before' having the Pegasus Boots! Has link all these years suffered from Knee cancer, was he capped in the shins when he was younger Link by his estranged father no one ever talks about or was it that he was just born without knees all together, Ok so he wouldn't be able to walk without knees so WE CAN BE SURE HE HAS FULLY FUNCTIONING KNEES!!
4- Feet that are not only feet, but feet that are also weapons of destruction and also a fetching pair of Hobnail boots, Rash from BattleToads can turn his feet into some fabulous, this season, spiky stompers and then into a delightful mace to delightfully mace your opponents into next season, and THEN also pleasant axe so you can pleasantly axe your opponents to a bloody and messy death which would compete with some of this years Primark fashion disasters we see out walking on the streets today.
3- Probably the most famous pair of sneakers in gaming existence, sonics trademark red and white shoes are still rocking our world, shame about the rest of 'everything' sonic... enough said on that subject.
In second place, possibly the luckiest shoes ever, pressing up and down, like making love to a beautiful woman. The guy from OutRun, the lucky lucky privileged guy from OutRun, who gets to put his shoe, (the unseen shoes that actually don't matter right now) on the accelerator and press down firmly on Ferrari after Ferrari after Ferrari.
Though he still must have amazing shoes, the fact he drives these magnificent, mouth watering, beasts of the car world, means his shoes will be expensive, and he will be a 'soul' man and his shallow girlfriends wouldn't be seen dead with a guy in a pair of Hightecs even with a 360 spider involved in this sexy threesome.
...and at number 1, the greatest of all items of footwear and savior of many bitten backsides, No its not the guy from OutRun again, its the AMAZING, OUTSTANDING SUPER MARIO 3 GIANT GREEN WIND-UP KURIBO BOOT!
Its green, it goes perfectly with every outfit, its wind-up without needing to wind it up! How more perfect can a shoe be, you only need the one, its green so instantly means eco-friendly and theres more 'boot' space than Renault Megan.