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Top ten video game boobs! - Destructoid

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Im a Games designer from the UK who likes to write about shit (and work on a few too) and sometimes the odd gem may creep in there...



I am very into my retro gaming and Snes it up big stylee.
I own most of the games consoles and have been gaming for 20 years.

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Boobs in games have gone spiraling out of control! They have become a 'massive' part of many female characters in video games. Who would possibly think this was a bad thing? Well not me, I 'will' mine every day to grow, doesn't work I know, so I'm going to stock up with the F-Cup cookies when I'm out in Japan, 'I KNOW' they wont work but it makes me feel better, and is cheaper than a boob job. Boobs are as important in gaming as weapons and power-up's are.

Here is my TOP TEN VIDEO GAME BOOBS!


10 - Evil Rose is known for her rough tactics, not that you could tell from that 'I'm going to kill you' gimp costume. You can tell she likes to draw blood frequently from other wrestlers, due to the fact that her outfit used to be a fetching summer yellow.


9- Mia fey is someone I can sympathize with and relate to, shes intelligent, shes a career woman and shes too big up front to get in her tops. Ok so shes also dead, I'm not following her that religiously, but I have wore a small child's top because it had a picture of Mario on it, and thats the closest iv got to channeling into a similar situation as Pearl Feys clothes.


8 - When you wear lycra, your going to expect some noticeable nipplege, but is Taki in a constant cold breeze. Though her Lycra must be reinforced as those bad boys could cut though glass and cut up your face. Apparently she killed her first love when he split his tongue and choked on his own blood. So thats why she always looks so angry.


7 - Your boobs are always talked about Lara, I know how you feel whilst working with 50 guys and your the only girl. "So Fran, is that a new bra your wearing today?" (ay?)
Well at least theres no longer 2 breeze blocks up your top. We are both better off for it now. I had to give it up as i gained a back injury. I was only young, All i wanted was to be just like you...


6 - Probably the most famous tits in Final Fantasy, no I'm not talking about Squall and Tidus (much) but Tifa from Final Fantasy 7 has serious amount of 'something' up her top and yet out of everyone in this list, shes really the only one who doesn't show any cleavage. Maybe she has boob enhancers up there, hence the reason for covering up, or maybe she is just modest. Sometimes this is better, as it leaves an air of mystery about her, unless you type Tifa into Google images and there are 'TOO' many people obviously frustrated by that fact.


5 - Now i know this will sound crazy coming from a girl, but seriously, I'm telling you, boobs just do not do that, Kasumi just has some crazy ability to move each boob independently.

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4 - Now personally I think the bat girl is just trash, but Morrigan has a pair extraordinarily well trained boobs. They are barely in that top, but they refuse to come out. To be honest, it wouldn't surprise me if her outfit was just painted on, in fact, thats probably it. Just tape on a few feathery bits... OH DEAR GOD, I hope Morrigan cosplayers don't find out about this...


3 - Tina Armstrongs boobs are just pure muscle, which she uses instead of her arms to perform a successful Clothes line in the ring. It was once told that she even picked up a rival wrestler between her 'boobs of submission' achieved a Chockhold and strangled them, whilst then initiating a Neckbreaker and then into Piledriver, all without getting her hands dirty.


2- The first lady in bouncing boobs, MaI Shiranui's boobs bounce so much, that I have somehow won many a game to my opponents when using Mia due to there hypnotic, alluring bounce power. This leaves grown men with nose bleeds and leaves you a jibbering wreck, as you see bounce after bounce, how sh*t you actually are and you only play the game to see Mai's bad suspension.


And my number one, the lady who makes my 32 E's, look like peas, Ivy's boobs are down right ridiculous. Her latex outfits can barely contain them. There so big that where ever she walks, the earths gravitational pull changes dramatically, thus leading to the tides of the world changing, and is the main reason that Norfolk will eventually be underwater.
I cant play as her for sh*t, but I do try, just so I can aspire to be like her one day, (not the big muscle, manley part of her and flood parts of the UK) but have the ability to look good in latex because that is one skill that is harder to achieve than any type of global destruction...
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