Once upon a time there was a spaceman that everybody loved named Commander Shepard. He flew around space in his spaceship called The Normandy, which was named after a guy named Norman who fought on a beach in World War II.
Shepard flew around space fighting Humanity's enemies. He even shot Voldemort with a gun, because that good for nothing Harry Potter couldn't do it.
But one day, the people who loved Shepard suddenly stopped loving him. "We demand something better," they said.
This made Commander Shepard sad. He had spent years saving humanity and pleasing people, but the people he fought to save and please were no longer pleased.
It was then when he came up with a brilliant idea: "Cake," he exclaimed to himself. "Everyone loves cake!" So he and the crew of the Normandy made cake for everyone.
It was then, when people all around the world started loving Shepard again. And they used all the energy and effort they'd been using on hating Shepard, and cured cancer, AIDS, World Hunger, war, and all the other problems that plagued mankind. That day, they stopped being regular people, and all became Shepard themselves.