I like video games. Do you like video games? Sure you do! Who the hell doesn’t? (Maybe terrorists, those guys are jerks). That’s why, for your reading pleasure, I have decided to share with you my facts stated as opinions (see pg. 34, fig 1.b). To make it more entertaining I’ve decided to express myself in a descending numerical fashion. Remember, all opinions expressed here have been officially certified by me to be universally true and cannot be argued. Let’s begin shall we…

10. Bejeweled 2 – There’s something I’ve always wanted to do in my life, and that was to shift jewels around in a box. I tried doing it as a kid, but it just wasn’t the same and my mom got mad at me for stealing her jewelry.

9. Wii Music – If there’s one thing that’s more fun than playing instruments, it’s not playing instruments and looking like an idiot while you do it. It’s fun to pretend to be creative. (Hey, just like me and this list you're reading...high five!)

8. Super 3D Noah’s Ark – Have you ever wanted more Jesus in your Wolfenstein? Well this is the game for you. Possibly one of the best SNES games ever, if you ignore the rest of the catalog.

7. Solitaire – Sure…you can play this with just a deck of cards in real life…but does your deck of cards come with Windows? That’s what I thought, bitch.

6. E.T. – Ah...a movie game based off of one of my childhood favorites. I especially loved the part of the movie where E.T. fell into a hole and he couldn’t get out of it. So you can see why I love this game. I should point out I haven’t seen the movie since I was four years old and my memory of it may be a little off.

5. Dead Or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball – I like boobs and shallow gameplay…but mostly boobs.

4. Deer Hunter – One time when I was playing Super 3D Noah’s Ark…I thought to myself “You know…I’d rather play a game where my enemies can’t defend themselves and instead of trying to find them…I sit in a tree for a while and wait for them to show up…that would be sweet…also I’d like some Doritos.” This game is that fantasy realized…sans corn chips.

3. Barbie Horse Adventure – This game was a dream come true for me. I finally got to be Barbie and have adventures of a horsey nature. Is that not every young man’s only wish in life?

2. Big Rigs – Any game where I can defy the laws of physics, and logic, with an 18-wheeler is a game that should get game of the year…every year.

1. Mortal Kombat – They spelled combat with a K. Did you read what I just wrote? Combat with a K! That will show the man. When someone purposely misspells a word that tells you that they mean business and that they are instantly cool…or should I say…kool?

At this point you must realize that your need to see games put into a list has gotten the best of you, and that you just read a poorly written blog post. I should point out now that although this list was in a numerical order, the numbers were incorrect. The correct order should be 7, 4, 3, 6, 1, 5, 2, 10, 9, and 8. Thank you for wasting your time.