hot  /  reviews  /  videos  /  cblogs  /  qposts


SuperMonk4Ever's blog

3:08 PM on 03.17.2011

Destructoid, It Puts Hair On Your Chest

Yesterday was the fifth anniversary of Destructoid and I have been here for a while. Mostly a lurker until a a little over a couple years ago when I started posting in the forums and then made my first (shitty) blog shortly after. Since then, I have grown from a boy into... and man that acts like a boy. I thought it might be appropriate to celebrate this by taking a look back and take in what Destructoid has done for me. From playing games that I would have never given a second though about to meeting my second family, my bro family. None of this would be possible without Destructoid, my home away from home. I will be here till the day I die, that, or my fingers fall off from all of the typing. So lets take a look at some of the things that Destructoid helped bring to light for me.

Super Meat Boy

I have never really been that big into the indie scene. I have always just brushed them off as flash games that people make that aren't worth my time. Well, I was ignorant to think that way. Destructoid showed off Super Meat Boy to the point where I couldn't be more excited for it before it came out. Thanks to all the coverage that was presented; I bought the game the week it came out and I love it. The pain, suffering, yelling, crying and satisfaction all made it worthwhile. Super Meat Boy is the first game that made me curse so much, I was asked to stop cursing and yelling by my neighbors. It stands as one of my favorite arcade games of all time and I would have never picked it up if it weren't for Destructoid. So thanks for all the pain and misery, you bastards. <3

Amnesia: The Dark Descent

I had no idea this game existed before I saw the review that brought the game to my attention. Now, some of you know I am not that big on PC gaming. I might play more if my current computer wasn't a single processor laptop that is four years old. However, from all the other reactions from other Dtoiders, I thought I might give it shot. Thank god it was the weekend sale on Steam that week. I bought that and downloaded within the day. I might of had to play it on the lowest setting so it wouldn't chug but that didn't stop me from being scared shitless. I have never been scared or paranoid thanks to a game before Amnesia. The atmosphere, puzzles and horrible events that took place in that game was enough to easily put it in one of my top ten games of all time. There were points where I was screaming and had to stop playing because of how scared I was. Seriously, play it, you will not regret it at all.


Hey Ash Whatcha Playing? (HAWP)

Never would I have imagined that one of my favorite series would be a web series. I started watching HAWP after the first season ended, bored and nothing to do. I instantly loved every episode and bought the season one DVD that day. Since then, I have caught every new episode the day it is uploaded. I even stayed up to 1am to watch GTTV to catch the newest one. Once I get paid this week, I am going to order season two. You guys deserve all the success and more.

There are other games that I would've skipped as well, such as Alan Wake, Deadly Premonition and Darksiders. All those unique games got lost in the shuffle to other AAA games sadly. Without your coverage of the smaller AA and indie games, I would probably be one of those gamers that only play shooters. *Shudders* Destructoid isn't only about the stories and games though. It also has the best community I have ever had the chance to come in contact with. I feel honored to know these people and even talk/play with them. I don't feel as if I am not interesting or cool enough to even know these phenomenal people. I could go on and on about how I feel so lucky to just post here and know some of you read my blogs. I feel it is appropriate to address some of these fellow Dtoiders that have had a massive impact on my life...

GarethxxGod: You are the first Dtoider that ever invited me to play with you. You have always been there to have a great time with. I love to hear you rage sometimes in COD or whatever else we are playing. You are my best friend here and will always be, never ever change my friend. You will always be part of my Bro Family.

Chilly Billy: You have done so much for me, providing me with many LIVE codes and other items. I cannot begin to explain how much I appreciate everything you have done for me. You are someone that I could just hang out and just talk with. You have a special place in my Bro Family.

Occams Electric Toothbrush: You are probably the classiest, funniest and most original person on this site. You are probably one of the most generous as well. It is never a dull moment when you are involved, I cannot imagine Destructoid without you.

Knutaf: You always know how to bring a crowd together and have a fun night. All those hours of Halo: Reach have been a blast.

MrAndyDixon: You always know what to say, never ceasing to amaze me. One moment you are spewing boner-isms and then the next you can be serious. Seriously man, never, ever change one thing about you.

Lenigod: You are just... plain awesome. I'm not sure how to put how awesome you are into words. You are just an amazing guy to play with, being able to pull yourself away from your Gran Turismo 5 to play with us. ;)

Epic-KxDtoid: For that one L4D2 game we played. Funfunfunfunfun

SteezyXL: You are just too cool for school. I'm sorry I have to put you in your place sometimes, but I do it out of love. You are one of the best, it's always fun whether I am fighting with or against you.

Law of Thermal Dynamics: I haven't been able to play with you that much, but I can tell you are already an amazing guy. I always look forward to your interviews as well, you bring so much to the community.

The Commentoid Team: I just wanna give you guys a shout-out, keeping track of the best of the best comments. It is always hilarious and interesting to read what you guys think the best comments are. Keep em coming guys.

Last but not least, I would like to thank the person that made this all possible, Niero. Thank you so much for bringing these games and people into my life. You are truly a man that deserves the respect of everyone in this industry and more. I wish the best for you, you are amazing. I cannot thank you enough for making what seemed like a massive task possible. Happy (belated) Birthday. :)

There are so many other people I could thank from the community to the editors. I say thank you to everyone here, my heart is filled with joy just knowing you people. You have no idea the impact on my life you all have on my life everyday. I think the only way I can truly express this is through a classic song. If you grew up in the 90's, it might be familiar to you. So with all the love I can give, thank you so much Destructoid.



[img]"><img class='event-item-lol-image' src='' title="Do It Just One More Time... Gif - Do It Just One More Time..." alt="Do It Just One More Time... Gif - Do It Just One More Time..." height="210px" width="273px" /></a><br />see more <a href="[/img]   read

8:13 PM on 03.04.2011

From Occams With Love: A package from Occams! (Picture heavy)

We all know who Occams Electric Toothbrush is. We all know how awesome his is as well. Well, this gentleman has graced me with one of the best things I have ever received. His package came in today, and it was like Christmas morning all over again. So let me share with you what this marvelous man game me.

I thought about leaving Occams's address in, but I don't want the man getting more ass than myself. You're gonna have to try harder than that. Now lets see what we have here...

A COSSET TAPE?! WHO USES THOSE?! Actually, my car only uses cosset tapes, so I will have to give it a listen to when I drive to work tomorrow. Sad about the necklace though, unless it was already like this, the lobster was broken off of the necklace. Now if I see an Rock Lobster posts... I will kill you.

Some of Occams's famous Garbage Pail kid cards. It still amazes me that these things were even really made. You know, with the child violence thing being a big button of controversy and all. How the hell did that one kid though get his head impaled by that bar though? BLACK MAGIC I SAY!

Some other random cards here. Occams, you really need to get out of my childhood mind. I fucking loved Dinosaurs when I was younger. You know which ones I loved the best? Flying Dinosaurs. Seriously Occams, stop it, you are creeping me out here.

You know those little comic flip books churches gave at fairs? Well, this is one of them and... I don't really know what to say about this. It is about an Islam and Christian arguing about whose religion is right and who is wrong. Apparently, Islam religion is the work of the Devil trying to deceive you.

I'm not sure if Occams is trying to tell me something now... *Strokes chin*

Two of my favorite games series of all time! The MGS is a small walkthrough about how to beat Metal Gear Rex and Ocelot at the end of the game. Now I just need to get passed Sniper Wolf to get that far. As you can tell, the second is how to draw characters from Donkey Kong. Everyone knows Donkey Kong has better games than Mario anyways.

Why is this in the front cover of the Donkey Kong book though? It seems like someone disapproves of Donkey Kong. Seems like I will have to teach someone a lesson... *Cracks Knuckles*

This... Book... Is... The... Best... Kids... Book... I... Have... Ever... Read! Apparently, the reason Godzilla came to Japan was because all the other monsters on Monster Island didn't like him. He was too powerful and big to play with. So Godzilla roamed the Earth, trying to find a place to make friends. Everytime he met someone new though, they would just run away. At the end, he comes back to Monster Island and stops Gigan and Megalon from bullying the other monsters. Gigan and Megalon fall in the volcano but Godzilla decides to save them, earning all the monsters friendships on the island.

You know you have an epic fail on your hands when Godzilla face palms.

It may deceive you, but this is one of the best things in this package. Wanna know why?

That should explain why.

...I have no idea what to make of these pictures. Maybe you all can... I am just completely lost.

Hey, it's one of those grow your own _____ things! It's a treasure though... I guess Occams figured out I was after his booty... ARGH! ...Wait though, what's rubber banded to the back?

Awww, well, you are part of my heart bro. You are part of my bro family man, much love. <3

At first, my family thought it said "Shoot Heffer"

No idea why Occams would want to shoot Heffer, maybe... just maybe he hates cows. That cow hater. Anyways, the CD has a pretty awesome mix of a wide variety of songs. I love the first one by the way, classy intro. ;)

FINALLY! My own Cthulhu! I have already put him to work...

He's guarding my iPod! Now I know who to blame if it goes missing again.

Thank you so much for everything Occams, you are one of the reasons why I have made Destructoid my home. You are one of the brightest shining lights man, never change and never disappear. If you do, we will all find you.   read

11:28 AM on 03.03.2011

Three Reasons Why I'm Excited For The Darkness II

Note: I will be talking about certain spoilers about the original Darkness game. If you are going to play the game before the second one releases, I STRONGLY recommended you skip this blog. So this is your warning. Turn back now or forever be spoiled.

It is no secret that the Darkness is one of my favorite games of this generation. The gunplay, powers, tone and gripping story of vengeance kept me all the way to the end. The Darkness, for anyone the skipped my spoiler alert, is a game about Jackie Estacado, a mobster that was taken in when he was just an orphan. The man that took Jackie was "Uncle" Paulie, a vicious man that controlled the Italian mob that Jackie was brought into. On his twenty-first birthday, Jackie receives a gift that will forever change his life, The Darkness. After that point on, the game takes Jackie through a roller coaster ride through Hell and back... literally. Starbreeze Studios did such a magnificent job bringing life to the story of ever struggling mobster. They did such an excellent job on the game that it is one of the few games that has actually almost made me cry. We will talk about that more later though...

Last month, the Darkness II was officially announced and I cannot contain my excitement. After reading an article in the newest OXM, I know I will pick up this game day one. Here are the reasons the first one has hyped me up and what I look forward to...


The original Darkness game played a bit... stiff. Every way Jackie moved or performed a task, it just felt slow and stiff. One of the other small complaints is that there is only a handful of moves you could use with the Darkness. Well, from what I've read, most of these problems have been heard. The gun combat, as I've read, is fast a brutal. Bullets and sparks flying everywhere in a wonderfully chaotic symphony. Blood flies as limbs are shot or... ripped off. New Darkness powers also come with this sequel, and they sound devastating. Some of the new devastating executions include moves like the Daisy Pop (yanking off an enemies head) and the Anaconda (wrapping one of your Demon Arm's around the enemy, you pop the second one right out of his chest). The demon arms aren't restricted to only certain executions now however. The left Demon Arm can be used to grab, wield and throw objects at enemies. You can even pin an enemy to the wall with a lead pipe if you aim it just right. The right Demon Arm can be used as a brutal slasher. You can cut in all different directions with the right arm and even cut off their limbs in an oh such satisfying way. We have also been told that you can combine these moves, grabbing an enemy, slicing him up to a bloody pulp and then throw him into another enemy.

You remember those little Darklings you could summon in the first one? Yeah, remember how useless they were? I never once used them except for a diversion, but they didn't usually last that long anyways. Well, this time around, they are going to attempt to have you tied to one Darkling. He is said to be more useful that the precious incarnations and brings some of the dark humor. Yes, that includes him peeing on corpses. He is said to actually have an impact on the story as well, which I rather look forward too as well.

Mike Patton

Some of you has expressed to me that you don't care for Mike Patton's music career, which is understandable. However, you cannot deny that he did a phenomenal performance as the Darkness. You object against me, I will find you and punch you in the balls three times.



The story drove me to want to continue in the first Darkness. The betrayal and struggle with one's self kept me going. The original took you to hell and back and then back to hell again. Jackie's quest for vengeance and the blood of those that killed his love, Jenny, drew me in and didn't let me go until it was all over. Well, I was excited beyond belief when they announced that writer Paul Jenkins (who has done many The Darkness issues and wrote the script for the first game) was on board for the sequel.

SPOILER: I am going to discuss the preview of the story that we know so far about The Darkness II. Skip this paragraph if you want to go in knowing nothing. The Darkness II takes place three years after the original game. Still haunted by Jenny's death, Jackie is seeing visions of Jenny. These visions made a tiny appearance in the original Darkness about young Jenny so who knows what they could be. Currently, Jackie's mob is in a gang war with a different mob, swapping bullets all through the streets of New York. This isn't all though, Jackie gets kidnapped by a small group that know about the Darkness and want it for themselves. This could lead to an interesting enemy type, instead of just fighting people with guns.

As the game gets closer to it's release date this fall, more info will slowly pop up. The anticipation is killing me to get back in the shoes of my old friend Jackie and help him with his demons. The original is one of the few games that almost brought me to tears. Jenny's death made me want Paulie's blood as much as Jackie wanted it. If the sequel is anywhere close to as good as the original, we will have another classic on our hands.


Read the newest OXM for more info/screeshots of The Darkness II!   read

12:26 PM on 02.23.2011

E3: A Gamer's Playground

E3 is an event every gamer wishes they could attend. Once a year, gamers of all calibers huddle around their computers, waiting for the press shows, announcements and game play for upcoming games. There are yells, sighs, applause, celebration and even some crying. Fanboys rage and argue till they turn blue about who had the best presentation. Even after the event is over and all is said, the dust won't settle. All of these emotions are brought out because of this one event, named E3. For those who don't know what E3 is, it stands for "Electronic Entertainment Expo". This event usually takes place during a weekend in June. During that event, publishers and developers reveal what they have been working on for years and more. The biggest names in the gaming industry make appearances such as Miyamoto (Nintendo), Cliff Bliszinski (Epic Games) and Gabe Newell (Valve). They all come out with their game faces on to try and prove why their product is something every gamer will want when released. Sadly, E3 is cut off to the press, celebrities and contest winners. Well, K-Mart's Gaming blog KmartGamer is having a contest this year where they are sending three lucky bloggers to this years anticipated event. Thanks to the fellow editors on Destructoid, they have led us to KmartGamer blogs which is actually informative and has quite a few discussions with some of their members. They've asked for bloggers to send in entries about why they should be selected to go with them this year. This was an opportunity I could not pass up.

I have been gaming as far back as I can remember. As a child, I had a poor perception of depth and reaction time. My parents thought it might be good to introduce me to gaming by a game called Super Mario Brothers on the SNES. Since then, I have been gaming all throughout my life. From the N64 to the PS2 and now the 360, I have been an avid gamer for years. I have met my best friends thanks to gaming and have found a community that constantly evolves as more people join every day. Gaming has even affected other forms of entertainment for me, mainly introducing me to my favorite band of all time, Coheed and Cambria. Gaming has been an essential part of my life and I hope it never disappears. These reasons, and more, are why I would give anything go to. I would love to go, not just by myself, but with other avid gamers and bloggers as well. Which is why I would love to to meet the other winners and the editors on KmartGamer.

E3 always has surprises and details on upcoming games. These are what I would love to see the most at this year's E3...


Microsoft's presentations have always been pretty strong. In the past, they unveiled new 360 Dashboard interface updates, the Kinect, a slimmer 360 model and exclusive titles such as Halo: Reach. I think one of the biggest rumors currently tied to the 360 is the re-make if Halo: Combat Evolved. If the rumor turns out to be true, it would make sense. This year is Halo's tenth anniversary what better way to honor the series by going back to where it all started? Probably taking main stage though will be the Kinect again. Just released at the end of 2010, Microsoft is sure to present more titles for the new technology. I would be interested to see more info about the Star Wars Kinect game that was teased at last year's E3. As always, this event will showcase some new Xbox Live Arcade games as well. Come on Microsoft, how long must we wait for the classic Simpsons Arcade game from the 90's? Lastly, Microsoft will probably talk about a new feature added to the Xbox LIVE service. Microsoft has already confirmed that Hulu Plus will be coming out later this year but what else can they bring out? Only time will tell...


Last year, Sony had a pretty strong presentation. Pushing the new Playstation Move and the fact that their games are starting to support 3D technology. One of the most impressive Move titles shown last year was Sorcery. The demo showed off the capabilities that could be pulled off with the move. At one point, the demonstrator found a potion, shook it up and pulled the Move controller back as if he were drinking it. The Move has shown it has capabilities and hopefully Sony will show it off more at this year's presentation. As far as exclusive titles go, Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception and Infamous 2 will surely make a presence at the show. Other than those two, it might be a surprise, maybe the long awaited and teased Sly 4 will make an appearance? I'm crossing my fingers at the possibility. Hopefully Kevin Butler will make another mind blowing appearance at this year's presentation.


Last year, Nintendo stole the show with the unveiling of the 3DS, a revolutionary gaming device that allows 3D viewing without the need of special glasses. Since the device just released, Nintendo will surely show off some new games and maybe more for it. I have not personally seen or used one, but from what I have heard, it is utterly stunning. I would love to try Zelda: Ocarina of Time and Star Fox 3DS, both of which are already announced for the system. While the 3DS will probably be the majority of the show, we will also more than likely see more of Zelda: Skyward Sword for the Wii. The next iteration of the classic franchise promises precise movement thanks to the Wii Motion Plus. I can imagine that Nintendo might also announce a new installment in another classic franchise. Will it be Mario, Metroid, Star Fox or maybe even a fabled sequel to Mother? Sadly, probably not the latter, but we will still probably hear something.


Of course it'e not all about the first party companies. Many of the third party studios show off what they have to grace multiple consoles with. Some of the heavy hitters include Batman: Arkham City, Mass Effect 3, The Darkness II and more. Personally, Mass Effect 3 is my most anticipated game of the year. With ME3 launching later this year, there should be more details (maybe demo?) of the galactic RPG. Let's not forget Batman: Arkham City though, the follow up to the award winning Batman: Arkham Asylum. With new villains such as Two Face, Dr. Hugo Strange and more unannounced villains joining the fray, my hype meter is at full capacity. Probably one of my most awaited sequel ever might make an appearance at E3 as well, The Darkness II. I loved the original, especially the gut-wrenching story of vengeance and blood. I am dying just to see some footage, maybe even get hands on with it. Supposedly, there is a rumor going around that Hideo Kojima is set to announce not one but TWO new games this year. Maybe it will be another Metal Gear, the long awaited Zone of the Enders III or maybe a brand new project. Hideo is one of my favorite game developers, and I cannot wait to hear what he has up his sleeve. Throw in some Call Of Duty, Assassin's Creed and more surprises will make for an exciting time.

I want to go for more than the games though. I love to be around fellow enthusiasts and discuss our passion. Part of the experience is meeting up with some of the biggest talent and making new friends. I would love to meet up with the big names like Hideo Kojima, Cliff Blezinski, and the other unsung hero developers. Also this is probably the closest I will ever get to meeting the Dtoid editors. I would love to shake Neiro's hand, have a blast with Jim Sterling and see drunk Hamza in person. They are the reason I have joined this site and convinced me to dive into blogging. Since then, I have been improving my writing skills and meeting an amazing cast of people. I would love to make new friends at E3, but that is up to Kmart Gamer.

So there you have it, one blog that describes why I should be at E3 and what to look forward to. Personally, my mind is just spinning at the thought that I might be able to go at all. I love to write about my passion and entertainment. If you choose me, you will get a blogger who will not only write with all his passion, but one who puts his own taste and vibe into his blogs. If you don't choose me, you will miss out on an opportune and fun blogger. I will leave you with one last photo however. One photo that shows how true of a gamer I am and how much I get into it. Once you see it, you will not be able to unsee it. Here it is...

Yes... that is me playing Rock Band in a wig and Bikini top. Thank you for reading and I am sorry about that last photo. I hope I will be one of your picks to go.

Best ways to contact me...

Email: [email protected]

You can also read my other blogs here:   read

12:51 PM on 02.02.2011

Groundhog Day: Pretend Time

As many of you know, this month's musing is about a game that you love and keep coming back to. Not even a few seconds after reading the post, one singular game (series) popped into my head. I have put more time, money and effort into this game series that I have any other game. I have played almost every game in this series and have bought so much DLC for it that I have probably spent almost five-hundred dollars in this one damn series. I have spent hours in a small hot room playing this with a group of friends shirtless, sweaty and yelling. Hell, one of us was just in their boxers one time. This game series has even been played with all my friends and even myself dressed as horrible excuses for women. What game series would drive us to do this to ourselves you ask? That my friends, is Rock Band.

Yes indeed, Rock Band is the game series that has gripped me by the balls, only making me want more as my writs throb and my mouth dries (Insert dirty boner comment from Mrandydixon). I always come back to this game at least once a week to live out my fantasy of being the most diverse and popular band on the planet. I remember the first time I played Rock Band at my friends house December 25th, 2007. After playing one hour on drums, I knew I had to get that game. The following summer, I got my first job and saved up all my money just to get this game. That one purchase started the horrible cycle of Harmonix stealing money out of my wallet for years. I have pounded, strummed and yelled more than I would like to admit. What exactly keeps me coming back? I'll let you know....

My main Rock Band 2 band, Down 2 Earth. From left to right, ((Eric)), Al Capwn, Awesome Andrew and Allen

The sheer amount of customization you can use on your rock star is simply amazing. From his clothes, to his shades and even to a tiny piercing or ring. You can release your inner rock demon and make him perform in venues you can only dream about. I have probably spent just as much time customizing and tweaking my characters as I have actually playing the game. My brother and I created our band Down 2 Earth in the very first Rock Band and have carried them over to every iteration. As we went through tour mode, my imagination kicked on. I imagined us going from bar band to touring rock gods. Performing at sold out shows to millions of screeching fans at sold out shows and performing at other big events like Bonaroo. Between tours, maybe our rockers might be like me and just relax or maybe take a night out on the town and have the night of his life. Then we would move onto the next town/city and start over again. Never have I been so attached to a group of characters that have no story.

Hell, that isn't even including the RBN and all the other songs since last E3

Of course the biggest draw to a music game is well... the music. From the classic Queen songs to Coheed and Cambria even some songs from Splosion Man. I have over two hundred songs including RB1, RB2, Lego RB and DLC. All these songs make RB so great though, if I just have an itch to listen to a song, why not play it? Between playing all of those songs, I feel like the most diverse band. If a band like this existed, the fan base would be split into so many bases that no one would know what to classify the band. Is one of your favorite bands not that mainstream? Take a look at the phenomenal Rock Band Network 2.0. Got a song that you wish you could play? Then request your song and if the demand is high enough, it might just come out! The best part though, is that you will always be anticipating what comes out next week. I have a few bands I wish to hear more from though. Hey Harmonix... more Modest Mouse and Coheed and Cambria please!

You know who these guys are... I hope you do.

Between building your bands, mastering the instruments and climbing the charts, you will pretty much have something to always do. Even if you don't prefer music from the 80's, 90's or 00's there is the Beatles Rock Band. The homage they pay to the Beatles is so stuttering, it would make any Beatles fan have a goofy and wide smile on their face. The fan service Harmonix puts out with every week with the DLC is quite an amazing feat. It's amazing that they can keep releasing song after song in the DLC catalog each week and even more in the RBN. The best I can summarize this is that you are never done with Rock Band.

What else can I really say about Rock Band that I already haven't said? That I will play this until my hands no longer function or I go brain dead? The answer is a resounding yes, I will play Rock Band until the day I die. I mean come on, you have to love a game if you are willing to play it in a blonde wig and pink bikini top.

Come on, did you really think I was going to leave this out?   read

9:17 PM on 01.21.2011

Hey Lenigod...

You are a giant bag of dicks.

And you should be ashamed that Mass Effect 2 isn't your game of the year.

Who THINKS he is Revolver Ocelot

Who cheats and lets games play themselves to get ahead

Who thinks Call OF Duty is harder than Demon Souls

Whos' game of the year last year was this....

When you need something, he's got nothing.

Who follows you until you are trapped in a corner

Who cant be trusted for liking things like this... Ban this sick filth.

[embed]192256:35589[/embed]   read

10:36 PM on 01.18.2011

The Monk Behind the Headset...

I have gotten to know a lot of you in the past few months. Playing games with tons of amazing people from the community, you people feel like my second family. Video games have been in my life as far back as I can remember, I wouldn't be the same person if it wasn't for video games. So, I figured it might be appropriate to let you guys know more about me, while trying to connect it to video games as close as I can. This is my life so far, born and raised on video games.

As one of my friends said, me, as "french stewart meets drew carey with giant nostril".

Well, for all those that don't know, my name is Andrew. I was born in Florida and raised for the majority of my (current) life. I wasn't born in the best health however; born with a few problems such as Asthma, trouble with my speech and my brain having trouble depicting depth (background, foreground and such) and a really slow reaction time. For a while, I took special classes to help develop my motor skills. However, at the rate I was going, it would take a few good years at least to be semi-normal. One suggestion my doctor gave my parents was... video games. I remember my first time ever playing games when I was four. I walked into my parents room and saw my dad sitting on the bed. I asked him what he was doing and he gave me the controller. My very first game was the original Super Mario Bros. for the NES. After that day, I have been a gamer since. Slowly between taking my special classes, I was able to easier develop my skills within a couple years.

Me, with my Guitar Hero II signed shirt and weird room... yes, that is flowers on the wallpaper.

Life in my neighborhood was... not the best to be said. I lived in a decent street, but the area just over my back fence was festered with crime, murder and gangs. I never did get involved in any of that, thank goodness, thanks to meeting friends through gaming. Going into middle school was a frightening experience, especially if there was a fight every morning before school started (I am not exaggerating). Well, due to a busy work schedule, I had to stay after school for an extra hour. So, I would bring my Game Boy along with me, this is how I met my childhood friend Travis. We spent so many hours playing Advanced Wars, we even played it on field trips. I met even more, playing Pokemon (Blue version FTW) and soon more gamers slowly came. Without games, I might have fallen into the wrong crowd of people and went on a different path.

Around the age of fifteen, the gangs in my area were getting out of control and we couldn't afford to live there anymore. Leaving my whole family and best friends wasn't an easy thing to do. However, we moved, to the great (and boring as hell... actually, scratch the great part) state of Tennessee. I was depressed for a couple months, not having any family members or friends here. Shortly however, I met my best friends through, you guessed it, gaming. My brother, Eric, and I played a lot of Mario Cart on the DS after we got it for Christmas. Well, on the bus ride to school, we pulled out our DS and were asked by a gentlemen named Allen to join him and his friends in some Mario Cart. We played Mario Cart, yelling and cursing loudly as we rode to school, not wanting to ever get off of that bus. That is, until some asshole stole it, but nevertheless I had made my best friends.

[i] From left to right: My brother Eric, Simon and myself beating the shit out of each other in MKvsDCU

Oh, and for people that have always wondered where my gamertag/name come from, it is my most popular cartoon character. I haven't been the most creative kid, but I loved doodling and making up stories. I have been drawing since I was five, Super Monk being my first character. He obtained his powers from a radioactive doughnut and gained super strength and can leap a building in one fart. Why do I bring this up? I parodied a lot of video games and had characters pop in from time to time. I haven't drawn anything in a while... I really need to.

A parody of God of War, Super Monk of a dead Superior Blob

And this leads to my current life, gaming leading me to you all. I may have not had the most exciting or great life but I wanted to share with you all who I am. I am so proud to be part of this community. You all have no idea how lucky I feel to even know you guys. Thanks for being here and taking me through some crazy nights. But what will gaming do for me in the future? Who knows, maybe presidency? No...

And now, something you will wish you have never, ever seen...

Me, playing Rock Band... in a wig and bikini....   read

5:03 PM on 01.03.2011

I'm here to kick ass and I'm all out of kick ass- Contest

Well, Duke Nukem Forever is a real thing. Many lucky gamers were surprised that there was a demo also with this announcement last year at Pax. However, those of us that couldn't go, we just watched. Well now that will soon change. I have got my hands on an extra code for access to the Duke Nukem Forever demo thanks to a friend and I'm passing the savings to yooouuuuu! Welcome to a little contest I like to call "I'm here to kick ass and I'm all out of kick ass".

Now, to be entered all you have to do is leave your own kick ass phrase in the comments. Think of it as a phrase you would say before you unload your hot... lead, yeah lead, into the enemies. The contest will run on until Sunday, January 9th at 11:59pm est. I will update me blog with the winner's name and PM that person with instructions and the code. Good luck you all!

[embed]190738:35125[/embed]   read

2:35 PM on 11.15.2010

Thanks Rock Band 3 Community...

So, Rock Band 3, it's a game. I love the Rock Band series dearly, it's the only game series I have spent hundreds of dollars on and have spent the most hours on. The newest installment is a step up (in almost every area) than the previous installments. So after playing and beating all the road challenges, I figured it was time to jump into the online quickplay. You wanna know what I found there? A big mess of "Rush to choose your songs" and a bunch of assholes. So let me tell you why I will never touch online quickplay ever again.

1. Race

So when you get your band all together and go choose a song, it's a race to choose your songs. I prefered the Rock Band 2 way of quickplay where you took turns choosing your song. This new way of choosing to makes a mess of a setlist that usually stretches between 6-12 songs. Yeah, I am not going to sit through a setlist of that many songs.

2. Keyboard Compatible Songs

Yeah, you see that little symbol next to my name that looks like tire tracks? Yeah, that means I'm playing a keyboard. Apparently this doesn't go through the thick skulls of some people as they just choose their death metal and DLC that doesn't have keyboard. I know I can play bass or guitar on the keyboard, but with setlists that are so long, there is mostly songs that don't have keyboard in them. Due to this, I have to sit through songs until a song with keyboard finally comes up. This has me yelling or just quitting and then the whole process repeats itself.

3. Assholes

Yes, I know your song isn't first, deal with it. Man you suck, you're already failing... wait a minute. You're failing on purpose! Yeah, this has happened to me many times before. Some asshole won't want to play a song and the will try to fail as fast as they can to move onto the next one. This infuriates me more than the other two reasons to the point where I will quit and rage hard. Just thinking about it pisses me off...
If you wanna play some Rock Band 3 with me, invite me! Otherwise, the online quickly portion of Rock Band 3 will get no more loving from me.   read

3:58 PM on 10.29.2010

Review- Star Wars: The Force Unleashed II

You shock an android to freeze it in it's tracks as soon as it de-cloaks in front of you, stunning it. You force push it over the ledge and then quickly turn to force grip an ice ball coming at you. You then throw it at two storm troopers, freezing them. Force pushing them, you shatter them across the floor into little shards. You turn to the final enemy in front of you, the hulking freezing robot. You grab another ice ball it shoots at you and throw it back, freezing the robot in its' tracks. You then quickly dash at it and release the fury of your dual lightsabers at it. Before a few seconds, the robot is weak and a QTE event plays out. You jump up and fall, cutting the bots' arm off, freezing itself. You quickly charge a force push and blast it into a million pieces. 

I may not be the best describer in the world, but I know when I feel like a bad ass. The Force Unleashed II may not be able to compete with Reach, Rock Band 3, or even Black Ops but that doesn't mean it isn't a great adventure. Don't get me wrong, the game has flaws, the 4.5 hour long campaign and unbelievable story are the major ones. However, isn't the   read

12:03 AM on 10.22.2010

My Worst Enemy... (Short Blog)

I have been killed by this enemy more times than I would like to think. I shudder with fear every time my eyes lay upon this enemy. I can't even do anything to kill this enemy. This enemy I am talking about isn't even alive. This enemy, is a saw blade. These objects of frustration of made multiple appearances in platflormers that I have played this year. Mostly on Limbo and Super Meat Boy. 

These menaces have always kept me on my toes. Making me react with the up most reflexes and timing skills. Remember those sequences in Limbo where you were riding on a sliding box that was on course to a saw blade? Yeah, I can remember myself feeling so intense that my palms started to sweat as I timed my jumps. While the saw blades weren't the only enemy, they were the ones that appeared the most and made me react with fear. 

Have you ever loved a game so much, but hate it at the same time. I have neve   read

10:23 PM on 10.01.2010

Random Blog: Shout-out to my homies! (Short Blog)

So yes... if you haven't seen me on here, that's not just you. I don't often write blogs because well... I am not very good at it. Hell, I started this blog off topic even, fuck my ass.... here goes my shout-outs to my FNF crew.


My first real Destructoid friend, I just jumped into one of his FNF games one night and bam... we pretty much connect instantly. I enjoy playing with him anytime and will always be one of my greatest friends on here... even if his chuckle does sound creepy at times. You are the PB to my J, the Robin to my Batman, and the fuck to my ass... wait... that didn't come out right.
Games we've played: Halo: Reach, Dead Rising 2, Splinter Cell: Conviction and Left 4 Dead


Ah, young Steezy, my pupil, hopefully he can rise up to my greatness one day... In all seriousness though, he is another great friend that I am fortunate enough to have. That, and he makes me look good in some Halo: Reach matches too. Here's to you Steezy, keep on fighting towards the top.
Games we've played: Halo: Reach

Corduroy Turtle

....Moving on
Games we've played: Halo: Reach


And here we end up at MrAndyDixon, Mr. Boner himself. It's odd how we met. I kept hearing that I sound exactly like him, so I was excited when he finally jumped into a party with me. It is true... we do sound alike, except I don't say boners every time I breath. He is an amazingly fun person to just chat with. If everything is serious, Andy here will change that quickly. I guess you could say just thinking about him gives me... a boner. YEEEAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!

Im sorry if i am forgetting anyone, but you guys... make me look forward to the end of every week now and I cross my fingers and hope that you guys are on when I randomly play as well. Thanks for the fun times so far, I hope they don't end anytime soon.

Editors Note:Sorry about the big pictures being big....   read

Back to Top

We follow moms on   Facebook  and   Twitter
  Light Theme      Dark Theme
Pssst. Konami Code + Enter!
You may remix stuff our site under creative commons w/@
- Destructoid means family. Living the dream, since 2006 -