As a Hardcore gamer I know exactly what to hate.


Since everyone of importance on the internet has said so, I now hate Casual Gamers.

Casual Players like simple games with wacky objectives. Like any self respecting hardcore gamer could love games like that (except the 80’s, those don’t count since they would hurt my argument). Unless time travel and alien worlds that look like human worlds and behave like them as well are in a game it simply isn't hardcore. Just look at Nintendo, it only has 8 letters, how fucking simple is that. Microsoft on the other hand (for which I am counting on) has 9, and if you count Microsoft Xbox 360 it has 23. That obviously makes perfect sense to hardcore gamers cause it has a higher number, which means better, just look at the bits people. LOOK AT THE BITS!!!

They like simple control schemes that are both easy to learn and take little time and frustration (EXCEPT WAGGLE AM I RIGHT???) This doesn't make any sense. Casual players know my standards and should know I will only play games that require six or more (not counting directions) buttons, that could easily be condensed and better mapped. Without all those buttons the people watching me play who are obviously looking at my hands on the controller and not the screen will be unimpressed at how fast I can move.

They like to play as cutsie characters as well. That's just moronic, when I play a game I want to be immersed and know that what my character is doing I could actually do. Since when could I jump on anyone’s head, that’s impossible. Playing as a guy firing a rocket is much more realism because I can actually fire a rocket launcher since they actually exist and shoot at aliens.

The music in casual games is cheery and catchy. That's just bad game design. They praise the Mario and Luigi games because they have music that doesn't get repetitive and boring and they actually use SOUND EFFECTS to convey the mood. All games must constantly have Rock music playing at all times, so that I can turn it off when I play multiplayer cause it hurts my skills and I'm totally going to be a professional gamers someday so I need to play at full capacity, so I can blame everything around me when I lose.

Another thing that steams my erection is how Casual Players look happy when they play. That sense of wonder and enjoyment is completely uncalled for in a serious player. You must be scowling and have a stare of intense frustration to properly enjoy a game. And you can't have your "Family" around cause they ask questions and should KNOW that I'm a super soldier marine who is shooting at the green alien to save Canada. I MEAN COME THE FUCK ON LOOK AT THE SCREEN PEOPLE!

Casual games also cost less to make, which means they are of lesser quality, just look at Michael Bay movies. Plus they buy Sonic Games.

Oh, that is rather short without pictures, I guess I’d better stack a few at the end to make it look like I wrote more and get MASSIVE FAPS!!!



Sickening



Disgusting, but the middle one is kinda hot.



I think that picture makes my point. NOW LOOK AT THE BITS!!!