Bloodrayne 2 is a terrible game.

Bloodrayne 2 is one of my favorite games, ever.

Disregard the original, the second iteration is where it is at. Let's do the cliffnotes version; you play as a half-vampire seductress armed with Baraka-esque forearm blades, gettin' busy hunting down the offspring of your corrupt 'uncle' Kagan. Unnecessary violence ensues.

So, that sounds pretty friggin' terrible, right? I mean, come on. It sounds like a can full of buttholes. Thing is, it's actually pretty fun. The gameplay is somewhat wooden, but the experience delivers. Never has slicing through baddies been ever-so-satisfying; the damage modeling is in rare form, as pieces are served out with reckless abandon like Thanksgiving at your drunk uncle's party. It's shameless, bitter, and a dirty, dirty girl for knowing what it does.

But again, that's why I like it. It's not setting out to be Metal Gear Solid. Hell, it's not even setting out to be Snake's Revenge. It just is what it is; mindless exploitation. But, it does its job well. It's a fun game, technically sound enough to be playable, and enough of a laugh to discuss with friends that have played it as well. Plus, the ending kicks ass into a fine dust powder. Simply put, it won't win any awards, save for my heart.

Does that make for a bad game? Christ, no. You find fun where it works for you, amirite? As far as I'm concerned, Bloodrayne 2 is the Evil Dead 2 of videogames. Brilliant in its failure, excellent in its terribleness. I love both dearly. They're not the apex of their respective genres, but they make me happy and do what others cannot. They locate the 'stupid fun' nerve and hit it with a baseball bat. Simply put, it's my guilt game.

OTHERS THAT APPLY;

- Superman Return
- The Matrix: Path of Neo
- Def Jam: Icon
- 50 Cent: Bulletproof
- 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand
- Every Soldier of Fortune ever made
- Leisure Suit Larry: Magna Cum Laude
- Conan
- Messiah
- Willd 9
- Jurassic Park: War Path (dinosaur fighting game!)

So hurr we goo.

GUILT GAME: A game that makes you go 'whoops' when your friend finds it on your shelf.

Lay it on me, phat daddy; what be yer guilty pleasure?