I would have pressed 5 buttons when you can do that with 2.


Six completely irrational things I do in videogames

Chad Concelmo is a visionary. He dreamed. His dream told him that many other gamers out there did compulsory things when they played. It's true. Reading that article opened up a floodgate of relief that someone out there might actually feel good hearing about the weird stuff I do when I play video games. You're reading this, so you might care. Joy. On to the list!

Disclaimer: A lot of these were written by me in comments on the article, but whatever. I still do them regardless.

-Whenever I pull off a special in a fighting game, I continuously mash the last button in the combo as if it incurs the wrath of a thousand suns and deals the attack's damage to my opponent tenfold. Little do I realize in the rush of the moment, it's still only a Light Punch uppercut.

-In the later 2D Sonic games with the midair spin attack, I use it when the screen is void of any enemies just because it's another button to press.

-In any game where you mash a shoot button to fire (i.e. any space shooter or 2D run 'n' gun), I find the fastest speed I can possibly fire at. I then proceed to mash the button even faster.

-During beat 'em ups, even if I know my combo stops after 4 or 5 hits, you'll see me hit the button about 8 or 9 times. You know, for good measure.

-I'd mention pressing frets in music games before a song, but EVERYONE does that. You know I'm right.

-Throughout Castlevania: Symphony of the Night, I'd often find small ways to incorporate realism whenever I could. For example, in the chapel confessionary, I would walk, not backdash, to a seat, and if I had a friendly visitor I would sit and linger for a few seconds after they left, as if I was at a very important post and it was my duty to remain there for future visitors. Hell, it even took me a while to embrace the idea of backdashing around the castle instead of running simply because it was harder to imagine a badass vampire skidding around the damn place as opposed to just using his legs. This obsession crumbled after I traveled wall-to-wall for about the fiftieth time.

-I've memorized Contra so well at this point I stop shooting when I know there are no enemies. Why waste even infinite ammo? Oddly enough I don't really do that in any other situation where I don't have to worry about conserving my bullets.

-I have an itching suspicion charge shots are inferior to mashing a button, simply for the instant gratification of 5 or so quick shots compared to one big one. I'm also partially worried that the charge will miss and it'll be wasted time.

-In story-driven first person shooters, I move in my character like they are reacting to what's going on. When meeting with someone, they might stroll and look around, while in a hostile conversation might dart their gaze back and forth. Similarly, in Assassin's Creed, I move Altair in a realistic manner during in-game cutscenes.

-Whenever I finish someone important in a story-driven game or a fighting game, I try and do it with style, like with a super combo or my "HOLY-CRAP-THAT-JUST-FILLED-THE-SCREEN" ultra-final-ultimate-world-ends-deathmove(s), rather than save them for in case I need to turn the fight around - unless it's a total emergency. Not to look badass (though that is a bonus) but because I figure that's how it would be if any epic fight ended in a rightful manner.

-Item hoarding. Taken from my reply to a comment: "...my item hoarding is so bad that if you look at my Castlevania: Symphony of the Night save file you'll notice that even though I completely conquered the game I will NOT use my throw items. Needless to say, I'm saving up for the Duplicator just because."

-I drum frets on music controllers to the beat if I'm not playing, as if I'll hear the riffs come out and be an instant musical legend. I also play drum beats when I'm on percussion duty if my chart is empty, considering in Rock Band and Guitar Hero (if I remember correctly) you don't lose the crowd if you play notes before the song starts. For this I am eternally grateful to Harmonix and MTV Games. This probably all has to do with me playing the instruments in real life. It makes me antsy to play.

-In action or platforming or adventure or any genre game that involves moving a character, I do silly things like hold a dash button (I'm looking at you, Tecmo Super Bowl for SNES. I know Y doesn't make me run faster. Let me dream.), or do dash jumps like in Super Mario 64, or something. Even if it doesn't save me as little as a fraction of a second, it gives me something to do when the screen is pretty much empty. That being said, if I'm enthralled in the gameplay and not just trudging to the area I need to be in, I'll be totally pacified with simply running there.

-I'm always prepared for the "Kill-Everything" enemy. ALWAYS. Even in puzzle games.

I'm honestly thankful that I never develop compulsions that put me at a disadvantage in my games. They are just that: compulsions. They're fun!

If you read this, you have the patience of a saint. Talk to me, talk to me. Tell me if you do these or if I should simply be medicated.

I DIDN'T COPY CHAD. JUST SAYING. Someone would have jumped on that train sometime, and it's just hard to write a blog with the same topic and not seem like a dirty little copycat.