Living in pretty much everyones house for a month or so now, Gears of War 2 is kind of a big game. The campaign was awesome and received nothing but praise from the 9 people who played it. However, the main reason Gears 2 has sold over 3 million copies is down to peoples hunger to try out the refined multiplayer. Unfortunately, Gears of War 2 online is nothing but a shambles. Even the loyal '06 guys over at the Epic Forums who are deeply religious towards anything developed by the Unreal Tournament creators are feeling the heat from the Horde of people that have emerged to have a pop at Daddy Epic.

Mind you, all of those people combined won't have the effect that this wall of text will. So, lets get started.

I'm not going to rave on about the Matchmaking being broke because - put simply - it's not. So shut up.


Fix the Chainsaw

Surprisingly, this is Cliffy B's favourite weapon. So, it's all down to him that it's turned into single-handley the most annoying weapon on any game, ever. Despite it being as obvious as Cole Trains musclar frame, the Saw is practically unavoidable given the amount of noobs that have descended upon Gears 2 is into thirteen figures, coupled with the invincibility of the user as they take an onslaught of bullets to get stunned - and eventually lowering the bayonet - taking up far too much time. When you're done pummeling the guy in the chest with bullets, you either walk into a Frag grenade embedded in the wall, or get chainsawed immediately as the bayonet revs back up in .4 of a second.

What Epic have done, is completely fuck the system up. In Gears of War, the shotgun was the dominant force. Now, it's the Chainsaw. In my eyes it's certainly not a fair trade as at least the shotgun wasn't the most annoying, easiest and downright ridiculous weapon in the world.



Smoke grenades aren't actually smoke grenades

The amount of people I've seen use the smokes for their main purpose (WHICH IS SMOKING OUT AN AREA) is zero. They've given it a stun effect. A stun effect meaning if it lands within a million miles of you, knocks you over, and gives the idiot who thrown it a free kill. Why in Gods name they've done this is still to be found, as a similar item - the Ink grenade - serves exactly the same purpose as a smoke nade, if not better. The Ink cloud lasts for more than 4 seconds and although it does damage you, works a whole lot better as a smoke grenade. All Epic had to do was keep the smoke nade a SMOKE GRENADE and either include a stun nade as a power weapon or remove it altogether. I'll go for the latter.


Wall tagging isn't clever

Why, oh why, would Epic let us tag the most annoying grenades ever, on a wall. It does nothing but increase the amount of monkeys who sit in spawns with their chainsaws held high only to feel smug after killing you whilst lolling about on the floor. Great.

It's even worse with the new addition of Atomic bombs (frag grenades) as they detonate pretty much instantly - giving you absolutely no chance of diving backwards to avoid them. The only way to dodge these Nukes is to have a friend on your team die, jump into party chat, and Ghost-cam their way around the entire map.


Fix the Shotgun

It's flawed. End of. The bullets hit the floor when hip-fired for reasons which literally no-one knows, and the damage is as inconsistent as the smoke grenades. Why change it from Gears 1?


Fix the movement

If I wanted a game where the character moves like a tilting slug on wheels, I wouldn't buy it. The movement in Gears of War was fine. Now, after jolting down the home-stretch of Pavillions spawn, you leeeeaaannnnn into the corners and llleeeaaaaann back out of them. When jumping into cover, you jolt into it, and then jolt out. It just isn't 'refined' as they say it is. It's worse.



Cliffy B is to blame. It was he that listened to the casual gamers who patrol the Epic forums hating all the quick, fun action that Gears of War provided. Now, they're praising all of the things about Gears of War 2 that SUCK. It was they that asked for 'slicker, refined movement' and it was they that asked for ways to 'stop rusher fags' and make Gears of War 2 what it's 'supposed' to be - a tactical shooter. Ghost Recon is a tactical shooter. Gears of War is a high-octane thriller, much like Die Hard 4.0. Who wants to sit and have Chainsaw Duels when you could be up in each others faces battling it out with a (working) shotgun? Who wants to set up a tagged-wall-of-smoke-grenade-perimeter in the middle of nowhere whilst calling out the location of the people who have that thing called fun in their mind come storming at them with Boomshots and Shotguns? That's right, idiots do.

Screw you, Epic. Screw you, casual gamers.