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2:20 PM on 05.11.2015

Salutations! This is Strider, AMA

There's a lot of stuff I want to do with what little time I have. I tell myself I'll put my thoughts down and proper and go in-depth with my experiences on Monster Hunter, from low rank to G rank. But that's not happening any time soon because I have to go through my list of candidates I have saved up and figure out how to motivate myself to do what is essentially work after I come home from actual work.

So I'm putting the community first. After this goes up, I'll start pruning my list of possible all stars, along with some suggestions I recently got. In the meantime, I am Strider, your co-cblog manager. At first, I didn't think I'd do an AMA because I who fucking cares who's my favorite Homeward Bound pet (it's Shadow, obviously) or what I had for breakfast. But my senior, Occams, did one a month ago. So in order to get senpai to notice me, I'll put out an AMA in the meantime while I look at possible p-p-p-promotions and pencil in a time in the distant future when I can finally do a big blog on Monster Hunter. See you guys in the comments. And remember, I'm watching you.


11:34 AM on 03.20.2015

The last Nintendo FNF for 03/20/15 - Dampé the gravedigger

Time to pull back the curtain: nobody can get into the Nintendo FNF account. Well, I suppose one person can but there are no copies to his keys. So, did I get you with that clickbait headline? This is the last time I address FNF as Nintendo FNF on my own goddamn blog. Nintendo FNF is dead and buried with my own two hands. Long live Nintendoid FNF!

We're making Shade's baby the successor to the old Nintendo FNF cblog because we can actually get through the front door. Expect to see a new cblog account next week so I can finally keep my own damn blog a little more tidy. You know my last cblog appears under my name in the staff roll right? I keep a clean house bitch!

New to Friday Night Fights? It's easy to get involved!

Each week, a bunch of us Dtoiders get together to play videogames online! It's a 100% community-run event, so feel free to join in or even host something yourself!
The planning for FNF starts in the forums, where community members volunteer to host matches and post their pertinent details (game, time, Gamertag, ect.). Then, every Friday, reminder posts go up here in the c-blogs followed by a recap post on the front page for last minute planning.

To join in, simply send a friend request to the match host! (Don't forget to say you're from Dtoid!) If you'd rather host something yourself, just post your details below in the following format:

Game Name
Wii U or 3DS
Host: Dtoid Username
NID: Wii U Nintendo ID or 3DS friend code
Time: Time in EST
[insert extra social media here]

Smash Bros. for Wii U
Wii U
Dtoid handle: Striderhoang
NID: Striderhoang
2pm PST | 5pm EST | 10pm Shadeoflight time
twitter: Striderhoang​

And remember to join the Nintendoid Google group to hear all the multiplayer requests you could ever need. Set your email to all for best results.


4:14 AM on 03.13.2015

Nintendo FNF March 13 - Still in it to win it

Have you wondered why I'm doing this on my own personal blog? Where Smurfee is? How they get the little M's on the M&M's? I'm sure those questions will be answered in all due time. But for now, wouldn't you like to race little go-karts instead? DEFLECTION!

In fact, last week's session with Mario Kart with Lemon Buster was really nice. I hadn't played online yet since I spend most of my online gameplay with Smash. Playing MK online was refreshing especially because it always felt silly and never felt personal. When you win, it feels great. When you take a less savory position, well that's Mario Kart for you. When I play Smash, sometimes it feels like slaving away in the salt mines, getting saltier and saltier by the minute. Can you believe there are more tracks on the way? I can't wait to see what kind of karts they'll release to match the Animal Crossing characters. But for now, we're still playing these same but fun games.

New to Friday Night Fights? It's easy to get involved!

Each week, a bunch of us Dtoiders get together to play videogames online! It's a 100% community-run event, so feel free to join in or even host something yourself!

The planning for FNF starts in the forums, where community members volunteer to host matches and post their pertinent details (game, time, Gamertag, ect.). Then, every Friday, reminder posts go up here in the c-blogs followed by a recap post on the front page for last minute planning.

To join in, simply send a friend request to the match host! (Don't forget to say you're from Dtoid!) If you'd rather host something yourself, just post your details below in the following format:

Game Name
Wii U or 3DS
Host: Dtoid Username
NID: Wii U Nintendo ID or 3DS friend code
Time: Time in EST
[insert extra social media here]

Mario Kart 8 last week was surprisingly fun edition
Wii U
4pm PST | 7pm EST

Super Smash Bros for Wii U
Wii U (duh)
NNID: bkeith
6 pm EST/ 3 pm PST
@KeithGeek on Twitter


3:17 PM on 03.12.2015

Strider's favorite ninjas

In case you haven't realized it, I'm a fan of ninjas. While samurai abide by a code of honor, wearing either sweet plate armor or comfy pajamas, and use really cool swords, ninja are better described as spies or mercenaries. They're commonly characterized with high mobility, their skill in stealth, and in a lot of cases a strong case for skill and power. They're not brute strength in media like games or movies but rather the agile type. They're masters of misdirection and assassination. In other words for games, a high skill ceiling. It's not hard to see why they're so cool. Sure samurai have cool swords but myths and legends of ninja depict them clinging to walls, running over water, throwing everything from knifes to grenades, and stabbing people in general. And they're just cool. No matter how you characterize them, whether they're stoic badasses or tongue in cheek goofballs, there's denying how awesome it would be to disappear in a puff of smoke only to reappear to stab people in the back.

There are a lot of awesome ninja to list. But what is a ninja? And how can we (and by we, I mean I) be more selective to make a list have more punch and finality? First, let's casually google ninja.

A ninja (忍者?) or shinobi (忍び?) was a covert agent or mercenary in feudal Japan. The functions of the ninja included espionage, sabotage, infiltration, and assassination, and open combat in certain situations. Their covert methods of waging war contrasted the ninja with the samurai, who observed strict rules about honor and combat. The shinobi proper, a specially trained group of spies and mercenaries, appeared in the Sengoku or "warring states" period, in the 15th century

We can safely establish that pop culture has obviously given ninja a lot of legendary characteristics such as elemental magic, the mysterious teleportation, and let's not forget the ability to ride man-sized kites to infiltrate enemy territory. For the purposes of picking out some of my favorite ninjas from an endless list of possible choices, the best are going to be picked by very basic criteria and rating them on a scale to five.

Mobility: Can the ninja outmaneuver his opponents in such a way that it gives him a strategic advantage?

Stealth: A ninja is, at their core, a spy. How well can the ninja hide their presence when they are in a situation where they are unwanted?

Raw power: A ninja is also basically a mercenary, which means deadly force is necessary. When running and hiding isn't an option, can the ninja even lift, bro?

Let's get the most obvious choice out of the way and hold him as an example.

Strider Hiryu
One of Capcom's cult classic icons. Despite near obscurity from a lack of games, Strider's name was never completely forgotten thanks to his inclusion in the Vs. Capcom series. Along with his unique games which featured nearly complete freedom in movement, the tagline to his most recent game is an excellent reminder: legends never die.

Strider Hiryu or simply Strider is apart of a worldwide mercenary organization of futuristic cyber-ninjas known as the Striders. Hiryu is the youngest to achieve their highest rank, Special-A, and is oftentimes depicted as the only Strider left as the organization has since been eradicated.

Mobility: Hiryu is well known for his agility. In almost any game, whether it's an action game or a fighting game, Hiryu is capable of air jumping twice to extend his range or simply change direction in mid-air. He has high foot speed and can climb nearly any surface thanks to his climbing hooks.

Stealth: Strider's games have never been about stealth, though they sometimes start with him entering enemy territory quietly. While he's usually seen swords a-swinging, it does stand to reason that his climbing hooks, which let him even climb hand-under-hand on the ceiling, can let him move about somewhat inconspicuously.

Raw power: Hiryu is described as being in possession of superhuman strength but it's never outwardly displayed. He is however, in possession of a sword that generates plasma so he can cut through anything. Not only that, he can arc it outward to create long reaching energy arcs.

Chosen over Ibuki as a much more interesting ninja, I call Guy The Sneaker Ninja. Originating from Final Fight before making a comfortable transition to Street Fighter, Guy is a no-nonsense, stoic ninja who is contrasted by his bright red gi and striking sneakers, not to mentioning hanging out with a hoodlum with a rap sheet and a mayor who moonlights as a wrestler.

Guy is best known for his command run, floaty jumps, an izuna drop, and his Seppuu Kyaku which is basically a Hurricane Kick that goes straight up with invincibility frames.

Mobility: Other than his command run which covers long distances fast, Guy is also known for his fast walk speed. This is also contrasted by his awfully casual yet intimidating walking posture. Nothing fancy but don't expect to keep him out with projectiles with his foot speed.

Stealh: Guy is from a beat'em up, so stealth has never been his thing despite having formal training in Bushinryu ninjutsu. The extent of stealth for him is if he'll walk by some oil drum or flying kick through them.

Raw power: On the other hand for Bushinryu, it's stated to be a blend of ninjutsu and street brawling. Despite a calm and composed fighting stance, Guy can deliver some powerful back hands, shoulder checks, and back drops. He basically goes from zero to kicking your ass in 0.5 seconds.

Using the name of a sort of Robin Hood figure from Japanese folklore, Goemon of Mystical Ninja fame is both a goofy caricature of a ninja and a badass who throws coins as shurikens and owns a robot.

Named Kid Yang in the West, Goemon usually embarks on a grand journey with his friend, Ebisumaru, to stop some unintimidating yet dangerous force from taking over the land of Nippon. And he usually does it by smacking a lot of people with a smoking pipe.

Mobility: By himself, Goemon's only notable agility is a fast worm crawl that lowers his profile significantly. However, Goemon can learn several jutsus that let him ride a tiger or even fly!

Stealth: Even Goemon's jumps tends to have a comical springing sound effect, which makes it difficult to be quiet in his endeavors.

Raw power: Like before, Goemon is capable of learning powerful jutsus that can clear the screen. He can extend his reach considerably with an extending chain pipe, but he loses it pretty easily after taking damage.

Galford D. Weller
There were two ninja in SNK's oft under represented Samurai Showdown, not counting the pseudo-Hokkaido ninja Nakoruru. While Hanzo was a more tradiitonal take on ninja, I've always thought Galford's garish appearance was more fun. Not only does he have an attack husky (who pile drives his opponents) but his back story is amazing.

Galford was born and raised in Texas. But one day his father was shot dead by a bandit. During his time as sailor with a stain of grief in his heart, he discovered ninjutsu in Japan, and studied it to uphold his father's sense of justice. He took the bullet that killed his father and smelted it into the ninjato he uses now. Wow.

Mobility: One of Galford's main strategies and gimmicks is to teleport near his opponent before throwing them. He was no slouch in the running department too.

Stealth: I liked Galford because he's more colorful than Hanzo but a loudmouth with a bright blue gi isn't going to go unnoticed. Galford fancies himself more as a hero of justice than an actual ninja so he's more likely to shout out evil doers than slink into the darkness to take them by surprise.

Raw power: Galford cheats a little bit. While he has his own martial training, most of Galford's power comes from his husky, Poppy. Poppy can charge at his opponent to headbutt, bite, and even pile drive people somehow. This duo ain't no slouch but keep those dog treats handy.

Chipp Zanuff
You know a character is from Guilty Gear when they have stupidly awesome names. Chipp Zanuff is a lot like Galford, not being strictly Japanese but becoming enamoured by ninjutsu. Unlike Galford's noble intentions, Chipp sounds like a weeaboo, shouting generic Japanese words while fighting. SUSHI! GEISHA! BANZAI!

Chipp was a lowly thug until ninja master Tsyoshi wandered into his life to set him straight. But then an assassin killed him, so Chipp set out for revenge. He also has some of the best character themes.

Mobility: If nothing else, Chipp is the absolute fastest and most nimble of Guilty Gear's characters. Quick run speed, triple air jump and dashes, and razor fast teleports that are core to his mix up game. Teleport right into their face, above them for a high attack, or up and behind them for a quick cross-up. If Chipp is standing still, he's either blocking or dead.

Stealth: Chipp isn't exactly the quiet type. I'm beginning to see a pattern in ninjas in fighting games. A lot of Chipp's special attacks are also quite bright and flashy. He does however have a move that makes him invisible on screen and he can even disappear into a flurry of leaves before slicing his opponent's neck.

Raw power: Not only can you beat Chipp in one and half combos, but he hits about as hard as a china plate in a world of cinder blocks and steel rebar. He certainly has some explosive attacks but they're mostly for the show, not the damage.

Bang Shishigami
Half Kamen Rider's belt, half honor bound warrior ninja, all manly muscle, Bang Shishigami has got an obnoxious mouth on him but he has the moves to back up his talk in Blazblue.

A ninja serving his lord until the war against NOL drove him and his clan underground. Now they wait patiently to strike back. Until then, righteous hero of love and justice Bang Shishigami will be there to punch evil in the gut!

Mobility: Bang isn't the fastest out there, but he can literally run through the air. He has an air kick specifically meant to cross-up and he has an attack where he uppercuts his opponent and teleports multipletimes to them to deliver a series of punches and kicks. Of course, if he can land four flaming punches with their seals, he unlocks his secret technique, the Fūrinkazan (風林火山). This state trades the ability to block normally with the ability to dash and air dash so fast and so many times that Bang to perform impossible combos by hitting them on one side and quickly dashing to the other side. He literally has combos in this form that become Dragonball Z episodes of pinballing people around the air.

Stealth: Bang is a ninja that exposes his abs and holds a giant nail on his back. He shouts a lot and his most defining attacks are burning, exploding punches. You take a guess.

Raw power: Likewise, Bang can punch explosions into people. He has a variety of trick shurikens to add to his offense like spider darts with extra hit stun and triple shurikens to lock his opponent down, and his ougi (finisher move) impales his nail into his opponent before delivering a supercharged hammer-punch to them, which of course explodes and somehow leaves him in his undies.

Mark of the Ninja
The unnamed ninja from Mark of the Ninja is tattooed with a mystical ink that bestows great power in exchange for his eventual sanity. While not great with future employment options, it certainly makes him the best there is for espionage and assassination.

Mobility: This ninja has all the great movement of a ninja. Good run, double jump, wall run, spider hang, ceiling cling, and even a grappling hook! Strangely, no one else on this list seems to have a Spider-Man like grappling hook ability.

Stealth: Depending on his equipment, he can run completely silently, perfectly hide in shadows, and navigate around the peripheral vision of his foes perfectly.

Raw power: This ninja depends on his tools and skills to remain hidden. While capable of assassination, this ninja is utterly outclassed in head to head confrontations. Usually he'll get knocked down before being riddled with bullets. Running away is preferable because I mean, what kind of ninja gets knocked down by patrol guards?

Might Guy
Possibly the only ninja that's not strictly a videogame character, though the Naruto series has had a load of videogames. Might Guy is best described as a ninja so bad at being a regular ninja that he trained himself to be the best unorthodox ninja there is. Rather than use techniques and ninjutsu, Might compensates his inability to use spell like attacks by punching things so hard that they shatter into billions of pieces.

Mobility: Most of the ninjas of the Naruto universe are pretty fast and agile in most aspects. Only Might can probably push himself to run like a sonic boom if he wanted to in addition to typical Naruto canon ninja techniques like teleportation, the kawarimi (that one where you switch places with a log), and wall clinging.

Stealth: Remember when I said Might Guy compensates for his weaknesses? Well, Guy isn't necessarily bad at stealth, since he isn't a respected jounin ninja for nothing. But he's never demonstrated any particular skill at being stealthy either. In fact, most times he enters a scene, he kicks someone in the face and yells, "DYNAMIC!"

Raw power: Might Guy breaks the system for power. Supersonic punches, mortal blows that burst into flames from the friction against the air alone, and a flying kick strong enough to distort the fabric of reality itself, rendering any defense useless. Uh, yeah, Might Guy can't breath fire or shoot lightning but he can kick you into literal oblivion.

A cyborg ninja that can cut just about anything with his high frequency sword, Raiden started out as a pitiful nerd in Metal Gear Solid 2. After becoming a cyborg however, Raiden became a legendary slicing machine, capable of cutting everything, enemies and Metal Gears alike, before cementing his status as an awesome warrior cyborg in Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance.

Mobility: As a cyborg, Raiden is virtually tireless. Most notable is a technique literally called the ninja run, where Raiden speeds forward, automatically deflecting all bullets with his sword. While Raiden has low instantaneous burst speed, Raiden can match anything in terms of speed over the long term.

Stealth: Raiden and stealth is weird. He's capable of stealth but its hard to be proficient with his unique brand of stealth. Stealth to Raiden is hiding in boxes, walk in blind spots, and viscerally impaling his opponents on his sword. He isn't incapable of stealth but it's not recommended either.

Raw power: Raiden's zandatsu is capable of cutting anything. It's easy to mention how he can cut anything and parry anything with his swordsmanship and high frequency blade. But know that he once took the blade weapon off a three-story tall mecha and used it against it.

Joe Musashi
Some may say the original videogame ninja from Shinobi. In his reboot, Joe is capable of combining speed with swordplay to slash enemies apart and stylishly let them fall at once at the sheathing of his sword. That's more of a samurai thing but oh well, we've established that ninjas can be spies and mercenaries.

Mortal Kombat has no shortage of ninjas that aren't quite ninjas. Sub-Zero combines ninjutsu fighting with cryokinesis and freezing cold power. Worth mentioning is his eternal rival, Scorpion and lizard counterpart Reptile. But Sub-Zero's always been my personal favorite. Especially when he gained the attack that froze the floor and made his opponent's slip and slide like idiots.

Ryu Hayabusa
The master ninja from a master class game in difficulty. Ryu Hayabusa carries plenty of weapons in the Ninja Gaiden series to dismember his opponents in a variety of ways. He's also been in more remakes of individual titles than I can count.

It's like she's wearing nothing at all! That aside, Taki from can jump circles around the rest of the Soul Calibur cast. One of my favorite attacks had her spinning her daggers like buzzsaws in her hands. She can also roll, flip, and create localized explosions to do juggle combos.

Unlike her sister Ayane, Kasumi has actually demonstrated the ability to teleport around her opponents to deliver powerful hand-to-hand attacks in Dead or Alive. Ayane in her own right delivers some powerful spinning punches and kicks, and both even guest star in Ninja Gaiden to become just as violent as Ryu.

The ninja themed frog from Pokemon Xand Y. In Smash Bros. he can teleport, create blades of water, and throw shurikens made of pressurized water. He's one of the fastest runners, true to ninja form, but also has one of the highest and fastest jumps, true to frog form. His counter even incorporates the Substitute move, both in Pokémon context and ninja context!

Sheena Fujiyabashi
She looks like a ninja at least from Tales of Symphonia. But Sheena's actually more of a summoner than a ninja. She fights with paper seals that somehow hit with blunt force but most of her job is to summon really powerful creatures to the fight.

Espio is basically Guy from Final Fight but a chameleon in the Sonic world. People often forget he acts like a ninja in Team Chaotix. But not only does he run fast (everyone does in Sonic) but he can turn invisible. Plus I'm pretty sure he's thrown a kunai at least once.

Half nurse, half ninja, all cleavage. Her shout outs to ninja moves mixed with hospital theming is quite entertaining in Skullgirls. Instead of a plain izuna drop, she bags her opponents in a body bag and proceeds to izuna drop them.

More like a rogue than a ninja in terms of gameplay mechanics, or an assassin for the sake of Borderlands 2. At least he looks cool as a cyber ninja. He can turn invisible to gank enemies with his sword or to snipe enemies, but in both methods he gets a damage boost attacking out of cloak.


3:21 PM on 03.06.2015

Nintendo FNF March 6th: The inside story

By now you know the drill. You should know the drill. Why aren't there drills in the Mario & Luigi series? Also, is Partner's in Time rare? I'll buy it next time I see a copy. But Dream Team just arrived, ahead of schedule (with a puncture in its case, of course), so I just need to wrap up the excellent Majora's Mask 3D and get to getting on Dream Team!

New to Friday Night Fights? It's easy to get involved!

Each week, a bunch of us Dtoiders get together to play videogames online! It's a 100% community-run event, so feel free to join in or even host something yourself!

The planning for FNF starts in the forums, where community members volunteer to host matches and post their pertinent details (game, time, Gamertag, ect.). Then, every Friday, reminder posts go up here in the c-blogs followed by a recap post on the front page for last minute planning.

To join in, simply send a friend request to the match host! (Don't forget to say you're from Dtoid!) If you'd rather host something yourself, just post your details below in the following format:

Game Name
Wii U or 3DS
Host: Dtoid Username
NID: Wii U Nintendo ID or 3DS friend code
Time: Time in EST
[insert extra social media here]

Mario Kart 8
Wii U
Host: Striderhoang
NID: Striderhoang
Time: 9pm PST | 12am EST
Twitter: Striderhoang


3:08 PM on 03.05.2015

Late night thoughts: Fapcast Q&A, Smashing sounds, and animu waifus

This blog is half hey! Fapcast is recording tomorrow and half shit I forgot to include this in my striderisms. So ever the preservist for blogroll integrity, I combine them into one moldy mess!

So yeah, Fapcast 21 is recording tomorrow. Shade will probably come on board, despite our recording time being in the 1-in-the-ungodly-AM for him. He's a trooper like that. You guys never listen to my suggestions but know that now that Shade's coming onboard, you can direct all your Dutch-related questions now! Also, Shade promises a returning guest to uh, return. COMMUNITY!

Forgotten from my striderisms earlier, my special Super Smash Brothers soundtrack gift arrived last week. And it's really cool! I guess. Yup, neato.


Ok, it's actually sinking in that while it's a great memento, it also reinforces, rather ironically, that the actual soundtrack is fucking huge. Because each disc specific to a platform is roughly 36 songs, and I believe the whole, complete, true edition soundtrack for between both the 3DS and Wii U version may number into what? Over a hundred songs? Actually, let's google the question. The first result is Kotaku (ugh) which says...

Yeesus Christ 437 songs. I knew Punch-Out's awesome Minor Circuit song wasn't on my discs but dear god based-Sakurai that really is a lot of songs I'm missing out on.

So yeah, I get a few of my favorites (including the awesome Xenoblade medley) but it looks like I have to resort to torrents to get a soundtrack that's probably gigs big. In fact, the whole soundtrack by itself will probably take up my allotment of music on my phone.

Ho my god ( •_•) ( •_•)>⌐■-■ (⌐■_■)

Lastly, as seen on last week's Shade-isms, Shade's a Cana guy. Personally, I'm a Juvia fan. But I never saw a reply, so I decided to get on Google chat to start a fight. He respects the choice not being Cana and I can live with Shade being wrong. I realized I could fill a blog with anime babes and waifus and he said he's topsauce it. Well now that's I've taken most of my brain space getting other things out of the way, let's just narrow it down to a few rather than a bunch of waifus.

So first Juvia Lockser. First a misguided opponent to the Fairy Tail guild turned member after crushing on Gray hard. At first she had a Russian design to her with hardcore curls. But probably my favorite thing about Juvia outside of her flexible water combat strength and slapstick power up reasoning using her love of Gray is that her base design is different for nearly every arc. Plus the series explains her awesome change ups as her just trying to shake things up in order to impress Gray. My personal favorite one of her more recent looks, combining her original outfit with her hair down and more relaxed.

I feel a bit guilty about picking Nami. Mostly because Nami reeks of editorial vetos. One Piece started as a goofy shounen manga without much real sex appeal. But as the series continued and got more and more outlandish (for the better) the females also got more sexualized. But dammit if I don't admit if its not working.

But this isn't about quality characters, even though Nami's been through enough that you could bring yourself to like her character a little more if you closed your eyes. I mean, yeah, she's transformed into eye candy over a period of a decade. Feel free to ignore that she was essentially a map making slave before Luffy saved her. Feel free to ignore the fact that it was a running gag that she'd run away from a serious fight for such a long time that she eventually went, "Fuck this," and decided to level up her game to be able to fight C-tier opponents. Go ahead and ignore she has a freaking 6th sense for weather that lets her navigate a ship through a sea that pretty much thunders, hails, and water spouts for reasons best described as shits and giggles. Just feel free to ignore all that and just focus on 'plot development' because yeah, sure. Shit be sexed up in here.

Lastly is someone a bit less sexualized, Mikoto Misaki of Railgun fame. Listen here punk, she's an unabashed tomboy who could care less about her looks unless she needs something comfortable to move around in before shooting a quarter at you with the same velocity Navy destroyers shoot slabs of metal at three times the speed of sound. Her main power is electricity generation and manipulation, so she can static cling, gather iron particles in a vibrating chainsaw weapon, or just shoot lightning bolts at you. But hell, becoming a human railgun is way cooler.

And outside of being a reference away from on the X-Men, she's also waifu as fuck. Still cute despite being a tomboy? Check. Embarrassing attachment to children's toys and novelties? Check. Tsundere qualities? Her interactions with Kamijou Touma are endearing.

Waifus motherfucker, do you have'em?

Firion probably.


2:52 AM on 02.28.2015

Strider's top 9 Dtoid rivalries

Well, its time to compose my top 9 Dtoiders. And I have to stick with it because I have integrity. And without integrity, what could I be trusted with? But not to worry though because I have a clear cut list of choices. What better way to interpret the top 9 Dtoiders who influenced you then through good old fashioned rivalries. Rivalries fuel our sports, our economy, our shounen mangas, and of course our interpersonal relationships. It's the same here too. I've since jumped into other forays of Destructoid's communities: the FP and the forums. But my home has always been the cblogs, for better or worse. What started as a starry-eyed dream is now a much more grounded and thankful spot among such great writers and community members such as the people I'm about to list. Because it's thanks to these people and their own work that for the most, I decide to measure myself against and up my game.

I'll start with one of the most recent of additions, Luna Sy. A mysterious community member who's vaguely located out of East Asia who has the same stance I had when I first started here: take my privacy seriously and my real life out of my Internet life. But that doesn't stop either of us from participating well in the community and making eager contributions.

While it seems Destructoid is her first major community she's joined, she's made every effort to be apart of big things like Rebirthening, Seacrest Santa, Cblog Recaps, and of course her own cblogs. And that's where rivalry comes in of course!

I would've never guessed her English isn't good. Maybe that's because its typed out rather than spoken. But because of that, her blogs are always lousy with great pictures, visual content, and such pristine formatting. Her cblogs are literally the most visually appealing cblogs around and I'm not talking about the pictures.

Next up is a more legacy oriented pick, Beyamor. Do I know a lot of Beyamor's actual activity and contributions? No actually. But Beyamor was the one responsible for picking me out for Wednesday recaps duty. If I didn't become a Cblog Recapper, I don't know where I'd be with Destructoid. Who knows? Maybe I'd be slinging scathing op-eds like Kudo. Or worst, plugging Youtube vids like Johnny Burns!

Beyamor, thank you for being my gateway to the Destructoid community proper. Without your faith, I'd have become what I hate most: a creative leech.

Zombie Orwell is dedication in an account. I've only seen him break character once and it was for a deserved moment of intervention for a personal issue.

Zombie Orwell to me represents the core ideal of Destructoid's personality and humor. Always funny but just barely related to the topic at hand with an off-kilter sense of humor that's just acceptable enough for genuine laughs but random enough that it's very locals only kind of feel.

In case you haven't realized, Zombie Orwell as a character is literally, possibly George Orwell but as a zombie. Always parading himself as Destructzord's foremost undead Orwelling writer, with a writing style all his own: barely comprehensible but still just so that it's worth the laughs.

If you want real rivalry talk, bbain is where it's at. bbain is always such a top notch writer, with a style that always feels like wrapping yourself up in a warm blanket on a cold day. In a jungle of foul, vile jokes and potty humor, bbain's never debased himself with even a hint of a curse word. He's always finding such great topics to write about and I've nary seen a fuck from him.

bbain is like 90s cartoons in that it seems so wholesome and yet still entertaining. And because people in my generation grew up on 90s cartoons, we think fondly of it. Not like getting kids from today to watch old Transformers, which were basically 30 minute commercials. No, I'm talking Rocko's Modern Life with hidden adult jokes in everyday great humor. bbain, you're my favorite 90s cartoon!

I am a vain person. Or at least I like to think of myself as a vain person for joke purposes. And anytime someone compliments me or follows my work, it gives me sustenance which allows me to conjure terrible demons most foul to further my dark plans. Hyper Lemon Buster Cannon was one of the first people I've noticed to actually like my stuff not just once, or even twice, but consistently. Like, he usually likes my stuff! Like a fan or something.

Our tastes really just line up but nothing stirs the creative juices more than knowing at least one person out there is definitely reading something you've invested so much of your time into. It also helps that it's always real talk with HLBC. Epic games, action packed scenes, sexy women, the works. HLBC gets it.

Speaking of vanity, Jawshbutterballz gets a mention for always liking and supporting my twitter presence, especially liking my Destructoid card work. But Jawsh is more than that.

He's also the progenitor (or close to it) of the Gardevoir meme. An earnest, unabashed love of one of the Internet's leading waifus and an advocate of waifu love in general. Don't hide your waifu love everybody. Embrace it. It doesn't seem like there's a bad bone in his body. It's all love, even if its strictly waifu love.

Mike Martin may be complex. He may be multi-faceted. But regardless of how you see his vulgar, chillaxing posting attitude and his real life venting of his tough life, Mike Martin is the realest motherfucker this side of Joystiq.

But there's no need to dig too deep. All you need to know is that Mike Martin uses his experience to better others. And in between flashes of big bro Mike Mcphil, we get Destructoid's gritty, real sense of humor. If Andy Dixon is the lovable PG-13 dick joke, Mike is the AO, behind closed doors, unrated sex orgy comedy screened only for movie nerds.

Like I always say to Mike, how does that make you really feel? Of course he's already blogged about it so yeah, there.

The token Dutch guy. Ah yes, token Dutch guy. But Shade isn't just Dutch. He's more than a Dutch guy who came to America for several months. Yes, more than Dutch.

In all seriousness, Shade doesn't blog nearly as often as I'd like, discounting his Shadeisms like how Silverdragon describes his own Silverdragonisms was a weekly blog (don't count it). Shade's a smart guy if you couldn't tell as he works in the business of law. But he's not just book smart but street smart, cause he has good taste. And he has good blogs. Or Shadeisms, whatever. But his topics and range are enjoyable. And like I meant from the beginning, rivalries foster good content from both sides. Or at least my side. The rivalry thing is probably just in my head.

As you can see, a great deal of my favorite Dtoiders are from my generation of recappers. There's no helping the fact that I take notice of my neighbors after all. But if there's anyone here that's influenced me the most, it's someone who wasn't just a day recapping neighbor, not just a great writer, but also a wingman up for so much of my favorite games. Most of all, together, we birthed the legendary Destructoid N7 squad that saved trillions of lives across the galaxy. Just one ragtag group of aliens with a taste for min-maxing skill points and tearing through hordes of enemies without much of a care for self-preservation.

Wrenchfarm aka Nic Rowen is the person who inspired the idea of this list: rivalries. He's made some of the most enjoyable blogs I've had the pleasure of reading. He's a consistent fan of stompy robots, for better or for worse. Even past our N7 days, we've had our fill of Injustice and Persona 4 Arena before I stomped him a bit too hard into the ground with my Kanji.

But most of all, it's his quality in blogs. I read them and don't just think they're great. I want to measure up to the quality and volume of his stuff. It's no wonder he's a contributer now. It's a wonder it took them this long to notice. But on the community and on the comments, we're always there on the input. My most comfortable mood to write just happen to be Tuesday nights too, Wrench's prime time slot. It was bittersweet to see that I wouldn't be blogging in my usual Wrenchism groove when he went on the up and up. But the way the community has been traveling, it shouldn't be too hard of a loss considering it looks like we're going back to our roots and tapping into the community all the more.


3:51 PM on 02.27.2015

Nintendo FNF Feb 27th: land of the dead

Land of the dead isn't describing Nintendo FNF (though it wouldn't be inaccurate). I just reach Ikana Canyon in Majora's Mask 3D and it's probably my favorite area. Being the last major area and dungeon site means it's a lot more complex in both puzzles and themes. Kakariko village from Ocarina might have a graveyard in the back but Ikana Canyon with the Ikana Kingdom is constantly described as the land of the dead, where the dead wander, the bloodstained kingdom, and more. Doesn't that sound like a happy place?

Not only will the Stone Tower make liberal use of everything you've learned up to this point, including the utilization of all your masks somehow, but it's refreshing to see Zelda and Nintendo not talk down to you on a theme as mature as death and responsibility. Not only do spirits and undead linger with their attachments, but several prominent characters hang around out of a sense of duty and responsibility. Ikana Castle with its king, Igo Du Ikana, is probably one of the most striking features of any game area.

New to Friday Night Fights? It's easy to get involved!

Each week, a bunch of us Dtoiders get together to play videogames online! It's a 100% community-run event, so feel free to join in or even host something yourself!

The planning for FNF starts in the forums, where community members volunteer to host matches and post their pertinent details (game, time, Gamertag, ect.). Then, every Friday, reminder posts go up here in the c-blogs followed by a recap post on the front page for last minute planning.

To join in, simply send a friend request to the match host! (Don't forget to say you're from Dtoid!) If you'd rather host something yourself, just post your details below in the following format:

Game Name
Wii U or 3DS
Host: Dtoid Username
NID: Wii U Nintendo ID or 3DS friend code
Time: Time in EST
[insert extra social media here]

Super Smash Bros. Wii U: House rules. If +3 players, expect goofy options
Wii U
Host: Striderhoang
NID: Striderhoang
Time: 5pm PST | 8pm EST
Twitter: Striderhoang

I expect to get my Jiggs on tonight.


2:24 AM on 02.21.2015

Strider's forum safari guide

Salutations intrepid explorers! Have you ever perused gamefaqs? Commented on Kotaku? Strolled through IGN? Well here you are now dear expeditionite, reading the words upon website Destructoid dot com, wondering to yourself what thine eyes are exactly reading. There's a front page that makes liberal use of header pictures from He-Man, South Park, and communist China propaganda whilst the comments post wit which include pop culture references, Macho Man Randy Savage elbow dropping Jesus, and Gardevoir. Meanwhile every now and then a post is proclaimed as being promoted from the community blogs. There you'll find blogs such as op-eds about the latest controversy, human interest topics, fandom gushing, and people watching low-grade movies as a service to humanity. But your eye may occasionally wander over to the unassuming forums link and wonder, "Do I dare venture into the unknown?"

Well brave adventurer, I, Sir Strider of Hoang (it's Vietnamese), am here to render unto you the knowledge necessary to survive in the harsh wastelands of the Destructoid forums. Is it a manic jungle of elitists? Mayhaps. But it surely is also a gold mine of humor, discussion, discourse, friendship, and dick jokes. Especially now in a post-rape jokes world, since that is how osmosis naturally occurs wot have you! This guide will surely be your lifeline as you take the plunge into the vast ocean that is the forums. Where there are better people there. Also cocks.

Also pardon the imagery. We all know this is a website. You're not actually entering a jungle, or a grassy plain, or an ocean. But if you want, you can imagine it as a grassy jungle that's underwater. The final frontier they say back in Victorian England! Tally ho!

First of all, one must successfully integrate with the natives. Newcomers who still retain the smell of the outside world are immediately skewered by the locals' spears and depravity. Like a decontamination chamber, you must first enter the Meet & Greet + Forum Rules area. There you will discover that upon your first post that you will be adorned by a local talisman known as Reggie Fils Meat. Tourists are expected to make an introduction thread to introduce themselves and reveal more information about oneself, so that future enemies may formulate tactics based on your fears and weaknesses. Failure to do so will cause you to generate enemes immediately as opposed to years from now. Let's see an example of a typical introduction thread among the natives.

Once you've successfully infiltrated the herd, you're ready to explore to your heart's content. As an un-objective explorer with clear bias, I can safely say that I most frequently visit such locales such as Animetoid: Firion's waifu simulator, the badge threads, Super Smash Bros. Wii U / 3DS, The Wii U thread, the Dtoider hookups thread, and of course Tales from the Workspace since I work at Disney but dear leader OpiumHerz tends to have the best stories that raise the bar.

While I'm at it, let's bring up the lovely forum admin. It was too long ago that OpiumHerz was an outspoken community member. Now with Myx's departure, he was given co-administration along with Nihil. The resident mods also help mostly with requests as the day-to-day schedule of the forums seldom ever leaves the abnormal (erm, more than what's normally abnormal anyways). There's not-dolphin Panzadolphin who helped create Scary Granules with Glowbear. There's also Bright-gavetheforumscancer-side with his trademark LSD cat avatar.

There are many smaller but important details to take home about such threads. Like how many people can't agree on good anime in Animetoid despite Firion being the posterchild and therefore, logically this means harem animes should be in vogue. Or how various sexual acts are being described in the Which Dtoider would you hookup with thread to varying degrees of sincerity. But there are certainly some bigger landmarks to point out before we talk about the locals only style hangouts.



The Arcade, the multi-purpose video gaming forum, has several threads and stickies constantly buzzing with activity and suggestions. First is The Arcade part 2: Revengicide, where general discussion happens. This thread resembles The Bar VI in The Bar, which is the general purpose chat thread. Only instead of a break neck pace conversation in The Bar VI, Revengicide is all about games and how much you love/hate games. Speculation on Metal Gear Rising 2, bagging on Capcom's draconian ways, and general purpose David Cage mockery, it's all here. Meanwhile, in What are you playing 2.0, people will drop in to talk about what they're playing, which is a great way to get suggestions on what to play next when you find yourself at a loss during your day off.

Speaking of The Bar VI, yes, that thread is in it's sixth iteration. Threads have a capacity of 1000 pages more or less. Once that threshold is reached, the thread is more or less retired and a new one rises in its place much like a mythic figure or The Terminator. That means that yes, the Bar VI represents more than 6,000 posts of aimless rambling, sex jokes, and generally good times. Of course, The Bar VI is the chat thread. The forum itself is called the Bar because people will talk about anything and everything to get a rise out of their fellow community member. Weird Youtube videos? Check. Shit talking on Facebook? Present. Selfie sharing? At your own risk explorers!



At this point you've no doubt noticed members carrying badges on their person. These badges represent small achievements within the community that gamify the experience a bit and make things a bit more interesting. There's a badge for being a featured comment on the front page for example. There's a badge for people who've ventured to a convention where Destructoid was active and assumed the robot head identity. There's even a badge for being a woman or being old. Grown a beard? There's a badge for that. Truly, if you must stand out, all you need to do is not shave for a few days and you've earned yourself a badge! Are you legendary? The community and staff will decide for you! Isn't that nice of them? You'll earn a micron of respect from your peers! Are you staff? Of course you aren't! But there's a badge for them! And all of forum staff are usually at hand to help deal with questions, requests, and support thanks to the recent restructuring that gives mods similar oversight as admin.


We are classy people

The forums are also known for being the birth place for Friday Night Fight's planning. In that forum, you'll find organizers posting weekly threads seeing if people would like to play or host specific events. These enterprising individuals then post on their respect community FNF blogs to announce the official line ups for Friday before Community Play Date Manager Michael Phillips (may not be real name) posts the entire aggregate to the front page for the masses. Not to say it isn't home to a few more granular offshoots such as a Baldur's Gate game.

I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the newly independent forum games board. Here you'll find a variety of community forum-based games such as the standard Werewolf, Muckfoot, Fiasco, word association, and even telecom-based tabletop games and RPGs! INTERNET!

Well then good adventurers, I have exhausted my personal experiences to their limit. I do hope you consider on joining the forums. Due to the nature of investing a lot time to communicating with people over the Internet, the forums feel a bit neglected from time to time, but the tight knit experience leads to rapport and an everyone knows your face-style sense of community. Please know that these experience are only my own as an independent explorer not affiliated with the Crown and that there are other adventurers besides myself who know the many complexities of the forums.

We're better people here.

Also cocks.


12:55 AM on 02.20.2015

Double 20's: Fapcast 20 question box is open and Nintendo FNF for 02/20


It's that time again! When speakers glow with the heat of verbal cursing and we all drop our pants to... wait, hold on. No, it's Fapcast questions for episode 20. Now with 30% more Dtoid staff.

This time on again-off again reservist and host of PStoid Nanashi will come on board to discuss how I shall always deny him of that American Dad reference he wanted for his recap banner. Also, more than likely I'll be able to talk Gurren Lagann. I plan on finally talking Smash 4 too.

Want a jumping off idea for a question we'll answer? How about what's your favorite kind of comment to leave on a Destructoid post? Do you leave reaction pics? Step it up to reaction gifs? Perhaps a witty one-liner or observation of anecdote. Or maybe you prefer getting into an actual discussion rather then leave a one off comment.

Recording begins at 4pm tomorrow in Friday the 20th. See you there!


Mike Martin also asked me if I was interested in helping to bring Nintendo FNF back up onto the forums, hoping a little exposure could jump start interest. While nothing beyond my own contribution has come to fruition and Nintendo is notorious for terrible net play design, there still lingers a ray of hope.

Mario Kart 8 still has its Mario Kart x Animal Crossing DLC pack in May. With a fresh set of tracks, at least one of which to be Animal Crossing themed, a decidedly less intimidating Villager to race as, Isabelle, and Dry Bowser, it should send a rescusitating shock into Mario Kart 8's multiplayer. There's also Mewtwo to return to SSB4 to all his Melee fans. Any extended treatment for Smash is good and we still haven't seen tourney mode or Miiverse zone.

Lastly is Splatoon, the 3rd person shooter we didn't know we wanted for the Wii U. Yes sir, Nintendo FNF ain't done yet and we haven't even thought what might be possible on 3DS.

New to Friday Night Fights? It's easy to get involved! 

Each week, a bunch of us Dtoiders get together to play videogames online! It's a 100% community-run event, so feel free to join in or even host something yourself! 

The planning for FNF starts in the forums, where community members volunteer to host matches and post their pertinent details (game, time, Gamertag, ect.). Then, every Friday, reminder posts go up here in the c-blogs followed by a recap post on the front page for last minute planning.

To join in, simply send a friend request to the match host! (Don't forget to say you're from Dtoid!) If you'd rather host something yourself, just post your details below in the following format:

Game Name
Wii U or 3DS
Host: Dtoid Username
NID: Wii U Nintendo ID or 3DS friend code
Time: Time in EST
[insert extra social media here]

Since Nintendo has such atrocious social features, feel free to leave any additional communication channels. Like below!

Super Smash Bros. 4 Wii U
Wii U
Host: StriderHoang
NID: striderhoang
Time: 2pm PST | 5pm EST
twitter: striderhoang


2:23 AM on 02.14.2015

Late night thoughts: a new ninja in town

Dag yo!™ It's been nearly 4 years since I joined Destructoid. Believe it or not, my first cblog here was about Netflix's price hike. We can all guess how things turned out. So not only is Netflix still in business, but they're producing their own content. Meanwhile, I've stuck with the Destructoid community through thick and thin. My first FP came fairly early and I reminded everyone that as far as downloadable games went, why are you not playing Monday Night Combat? Jim Sterling has since left to pursue weird new journalism monies, Niero has come and gone and returned, community members have shifted their energies and participation, Urrday Legend went cold turkey along with AboveUp, Manasteel88, Law, Silverdragon, Beyamor, Qalamari, and many more. For a lot, Destructoid is a cool community. I certainly thought was much in my first few years. But this past year, it's become obvious that Dtoid is more like a second home. In addition to talking about games in my personal Facebook network and asking for opinions, I discuss the stuff here on Dtoid. I make cblogs about my favorite stuff like Pokemon or Nintendo, and I get on the forums to either dismiss other people's opinions or have my own dismissed. It's great fun!

What I'm getting at here, after that long ass introduction that totally buries the lede, is that I frigg'in love the community. And Andy Dixonimore has decided that in an effort to truly emulate the good parts of the American government, two pairs of eyes aren't enough. Between his own ball eyes and Occam's black grandma eyes, a third pair wouldn't hurt. So he asked me to come on board and do all the hard work (like a certain long ass recap filled, filled, with a lot of annoying and varying pictures). I decided to keep my handle like Occams before me. While I believe Occams wanted to keep his privacy as a resplendent black grandmother, I was simply attached to my long time handle. I've been using this username for the better part of 8 years, across nearly every online community I can think of. And since I'm still involved with the community as opposed to big time staff content, all the more reason to keep myself familiar with the community I've grown with. Oh yeah, I decided to change my avatar though but you've seen it on my sidebar before. It's grayscale now, like Mike Martin. And I get to be cblog co-manager/Ism. What's an ism? Is it a Striderism? It could be an X-ism. I used X-ism all the time on Street Fighter Alpha. Or A-ism. I like to air block after all, but the extra damage of X-ism is awesome too. But overall I feel like I get to have a lot more responsibility to help you guys while firmly remaining an active community member.

I'm sure Occams has long bugged Andy that they can't be the Three Musketeers if there's only two of them. Well, Andy once encouraged me to throw a CV at the face of whoever's in charge. Since the community is particularly bustling, why not bring someone onboard who's proven he's far too invested with the community and probably won't crash and burn from biting off more than he can chew in terms of creative endeavors. I mean hey, I recap TheKodu's constant op-eds. Truly I must care about the community if I read those.

So once again, I'm your new cblog co-manager. I like to think of Occams as Andy's assistant. So logically, I'm am Occams' assistant. But we're all here to look at your cblogs and highlight really good content that'll demonstrate to the world through our FP that, "Hey numbnuts! You think GamerGate is riveting material? I guess you'll never realize how amazingly personable and creative our community is like the kind of amazing plagarism people get away with, how there are novels of obscure game series, asking an 8-ball to predict E3, or censorship in other countries."

I'm sure we still won't be able to FP everything you guys feel is great. We only have so much time in the day to use, so much space we have to share with the big boy staff's content, so much quantifiable bias we can control before we decide that we just aren't interested. But hey, that's why there's now three of us. Just like the checks and balances responsible for the American government's swimmingly smooth procedures. Featuring community executive president Andy Dixon, community judicial court judge Occams, and community legislative C-SPAN Strider.

Will my position change anything? Hopefully for the community, yes, you'll see more volume and more diversity of front page promotion. But me? Naw son. This gigs all for love. It ain't paying any bills. Hell, it can't even supplement my bills. But the point being that I still consider myself a community member who loves to blog about nitty-gritty game mechanics and too-awesome to explain game lore. I'm still podcasting the Fapcast bi-weekly, I'm still recapping Wednesdays (which I hope doesn't mean more people are going to flood my day because they know that's my day), I'm still going to leave what I feel is witty comments on the FP, and I'm still going to post in the forums about how much I'm not going to watch Jojo because there's simply too much for me to watch I mean seriously there are three seasons for me to catch up on I want to watch something else.

As usual, I've let myself run overtime. Heck, I've helped promote one blog already but I won't be able to do much this weekend because I have Valentine's day with my girlfriend to attend to and she's made me promise to unplug for us time. But I promise that nothing will change but everything will change.

I am not a crook!


12:30 PM on 02.05.2015

Fapcast 19 records Friday! You got questions, we got guesses

We're back on a regular schedule! Me, Phil, and another brand new guest record a new episode of the Fapcast, Destructoid's #4 rated community podcast per Neilson family ratings for community podcasts that record on a Friday!

We're going to scour the blogs of the week and discuss what they bring to the community discussion at large! This is MikePhil's first episode since becoming our playdate manager! Also I'm calling him MikePhil to satisfy both sides of my recognition for his identity.

As usual, we'll pretty much answer any question, since we're a community podcast that discusses the community. Very circlejerky and all. Want something to jump off of in leui of another dick related question to pander to that we'll just coast on? Majora's Mask 3D just released! Nintendo's still got some tricks up its sleeve this year. Go ahead and send us Zelda related questions to celebrate the remastering of one of the Zelda series' most celebrated and unique titles! I'm also likely to bring up Smash Bros. too, especially with APEX passing. Not that I actually following APEX closely but we haven't talked about Smash 4 on the show yet.

Reach us on twitter @Striderhoang, @MikeMcPhil, @CblogFapcast, and @Cartalk. Ok, not really that last one.


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