Fresh outta college, one of those stereotypical, bumbling jobless "journalists" wanting to become a "vidya gaems jarnalist". And so the hunt for a job he likes begins! And no, he's not going back to school to become a pharmacist technician, like his mom nags him to be.
I also have a YouTube channel (above image). Self-taught video editing! I'm still unemployed you know, potential hirers!
~ Favorite games
- Red Dead Redemption
- Shadow of the Colossus
- Mass Effect 2
- Yoshi's Island
- Monday Night Combat
- Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas
- Super Mario World
People who scoff at playing Animal Crossing or are intimidated by jumping into the series simply don't understand the intricacies that come with interacting with wild, untamed animals as they talk about macaroni and cheese or how they bought too many beds and how willing they are to give the extra to you. There's also the well known fact that Animal Crossing works in real-time so that when its 2pm where you are, it is 2pm in your imaginary town of animals unless of course you've set the time and date incorrectly in your 3DS, in which case, you monster. What makes you tick you sick freak?
Do you want to play Animal Crossing? Do you not know how to enjoy slow, village life much like a small, high class dessert that costs $8 but is only worth around four or five bites? I'm here with two months of animal life to guide you on the steady path to animal success. You may also recognize animal life as the G rated alternative to thug life so pick either or.
Pace yourself Animal Crossing isn't a game to be enjoyed for several hours on a binge like Call of Duty or Civilization or Shadow the Hedgehog. It's a game meant to be played for a half hour to an hour each day as you incrementally build your town day by day, introducing new features, new villagers, and new buildings. When you first arrive, there will be five animal neighbors with barely a store and forest life. Over time, more neighbors move in (hopefully ones you like and not scary ones like Pietro or Katt), your stores expand and increase their stock, and interesting things appear in your town to make it visually interesting like a zen bell or a bonfire or a random pile of pipes.
Not to mention you can match the town's activity to match your own. It's hard to imagine a town not set to night owl so you can play in the wee hours of the night when you work a job but you can also set the town to beautiful mode so that villagers pitch in to remove weeds and water the flowers. That way, you don't have to worry about playing a little everyday as maintenance and upkeep is partially held up by your townies. Weeding? In my game? Screw that! Let that snooty rabbit on the edge of town take care of that noise!
Set goals for yourself Animal Crossing has all sorts of things you can do that take more than a day to complete. Expanding your house, building public works projects, designing rooms in your house. Animal Crossing doesn't have a set goal but it sure as hell has goals. You just have to make them yourself.
For example, I wanted to build The Roost cafe as soon as possible so I could snag that nice looking cafe uniform shirt. But I knew the cafe wasn't going to be immediately available. First I was going to have to bring in fossils to Blathers so I could encourage him to ask me to build the second floor of the museum. After having that second floor built and having it around for 14 days, Blathers would ask me to build the cafe. Then I'd be able to raise funds to build it. Then, once its built, I can work at the cafe several days and eventually the barista, Brewster, will reward me with the uniform I wear during work.
My girlfriend had a different goal in mind. She wanted every piece of fruit you could have and plant carefully planned orchards in her town to make it look as nice as possible. Having as big an orchard as possible so she could harvest a huge bunch of fruit and relish the money that comes from having so much colorful fruit.
I also aimed to collect all the bug furniture that comes from succeeding at the summer bug-off competition. AlphaDeus committed to the goal of turning all the fossil models into miniatures and displaying them in a personal museum gallery entitled, "What is this? A museum for ants?"
A goal could be as accessible as a few days to as complex as needing several weeks to reach. Reaching for your goal in addition to your daily routine is a big deal towards enjoying everyday in your town.
Establish a head canon When all else fails to grab your attention, you can always create your own internal stories from the day to day interactions with your neighbors. The animals of Animal Crossing have some surprising dialog in store for you and you'd be surprised at the kind of things they'll say and what you can infer from reading between the lines unnecessarily.
For example, I have two koala's in my town, the lazy Ozzie and the uchi Canberra. I imagine they have a sibling relationship since Ozzie acts like a kid and Canberra asserts her maturity often. The two would often play together though Canberra needs to keep Ozzie out of trouble.
Lolly is a sweet cat who lives by herself near the train tracks. She's a university student, often times going to the museum to learn about natural history and biology while also going out to hunt for her own specimens to learn first hand. She'll also often ask me for help in catching rare, hard to find specimens like sharks and valuable beetles.
Hopper, my favorite, is a cranky old penguin who's been living in Harbor since it was first made. He's much nicer than he actually appears, simply lording his age and experience over the younger denizens of Harbor a bit too much and appearing stuffier than he actually is. He's my close confidant though and I love shooting the breeze with him on calm blue days while fishing the nearby river. We've exchanged quite a few interior design tips too, as we've visited each other's homes a lot.
As you can see, there's more to be invested with if you put your own story behind your villagers. My girlfriend loves two particular neighbors, Filbert the squirrel and Bill the duck. In fact, they're neighbors! And by coincidence after the fact, she put her police station (run by Booker) between them. In her head canon, Filbert and Bill are constantly vying for her attention. And Booker is awkwardly playing mediator between the two, despite having the assertiveness of a starving mouse.
Even after two months, my time in Animal Crossing is still relatively warm. Despite a few new games coming out, I'm still called back to check on my fruit, neighbors, and whoever is visiting town. Even though I've been playing forever, there's actually still a few new things to unlock, such as the final store renovation and a few golden tools, not to mention seasonal changes and holidays! So get out there and experience a new leaf!
All other images from danbooru (warning, potentially nsfw)
Animal Crossing is regularly known for its sugary sweet, laid back atmosphere. Neighbors are squirrels or ducks who are typically generous and give you free stuff just because you're cool. But there is a dark undercurrent hidden beneath the surface. You can truly play Animal Crossing in any fashion you want and that includes creating some dark themes for your visitors.
In Animal Crossing New Leaf, you cannot visit random villages. You can visit your friend's towns, which is great because you wouldn't want a random tourist to run around in your town and ruin all your hard work. At least when your friends come over, you know where they live in most cases and you can bring physical punishment upon them. There is however an option to visit towns anonymously without having to worry about inflicting permanent damage on it: the Dream Suite. Once this public works project is built, you can upload dream data of your town (earning 5,000 bells as reward) which allows other mayors with a Dream Suite to browse a catalog of dream towns to visit with impunity. They are dreams after all, so your real towns aren't affected.
Now for most mayors (lazy), you'll be sharing your own town and how you flavored it, like where you put your campsite or your cafe. For really hardworking mayors though, it is their chance to show off some really unique, themed towns. And this is where we come to the infamous Aika village. Aika village has a level of infamy on social media for being a truly awe-inspiring, horror themed town. I first saw pictures of it but did not know it was Aika village. It was until my friend, Mayor Steffu, shared a picture of her visiting Aika village and showing the mysterious grave that can be found on the far end of Aika village. Most mayors who know about it agree that it is a defining town that makes the Dream Suite relevant. Especially since it's been out in Japan and Asia in general for much longer than the West, longtime owners have had plenty of time to design truly interesting villages like Aika village.
When you wake up in Aika village, you're greeted by a surreal landscape; almost as if you're not fully awake for the dream yet, as well as a lone gift that gives you a chilling premonition of how this town will turn out. A single doll for your inventory, alongside several water maiden statues breaking up the monotony. Immediately in front of you is a house, which of course in this strange world, beckons you to enter. The music that plays during dreams helps immerse you into the creepy world as well, not to mention the mayor suddenly appearing as you walk around.
The first house shows a serene moment in time. A small family celebrating something with a little girl wearing Aika's outfit enjoying the attention and happiness of what is probably a fleeting moment in time. K.K. Hypno is also playing in the background and it's Aika village that makes most mayors who know the legend of Aika village fearful of receiving this particular song from K.K. Slider when he plays Saturday night.
But move over to the cliff overlooking an unconnected beach and you'll see an eerie grave which taunts you with its inaccessibility.
As you progress through the rows upon rows of perfect peaches and roses, you'll soon come upon several bushes and holes that corral you into a specific path unless you can work to dig up the pitfalls and bushes that contain you. A lone fortune cookie also tempts you and if you pick it up, you'll find a reference to Majora's Mask which only fills you with more dread on top of the quickly deteriorating village, eerie music, and sense of dread that something chilling is coming your way.
After forcing my way off the beaten path to reach the police station, I was greeted by Copper who's lost and found was filled with beehives. Truly a perplexing story point. Even more perplexing is a graveyard nearby filled with copies of the doghouse furniture piece. Is there anything connection to Copper's presence nearby?
The next house takes the story beats of the homes to a quick nose dive as you enter a pitch black room filled with stools and exit signs. Things are only weirder in the adjacent rooms with a doll party with food and artistic statues depicting the fall of Adam and Eve. At this point, while not directly creepy, it is slightly unnerving to see all this instead of some happy-go-lucky town filled with bright, colorful themes.
The next portion is what cements Aika village's image as the premiere scary town of the Dream Suite. Weeds pop up, trees are dead, and worst of all, the next house is a very deliberate shanty house. And inside you're quickly greeted by a doll with an ax in front of it. In my interpretation, things have gone horribly wrong with Aika, and she murdered her family in a fit of insanity. If you can maneuver the bookcases, you'll find a dilapidated piano room, a room filled with torn out pages, a murder scene, and worst of all, a scene right out of Poltergeist with the doll sitting in front of the television.
I must add that every time I exit a building and I see Aika right next to me, it is genuinely startling.
The last house at the end of the town is like the first in terms of set up, but shows the aftermath of the grisly murder. The floor is littered with trash, it's a mess everywhere, and the former room with all the paintings have the parents scribbled out, as if it was pre-meditated murder. And the final room to check out appears to have contained the evil that is Aika and the doll.
It's worth noting that somewhere in Aika village is a wetsuit that can be worn in order to reach the lone grave on the stranded beach. And what does one find if they dig it out? Well, what else but a creepy skeleton!
The Dream Suite is a great diversion. It's nice to be able to visit your friend's towns while they're not on but it's also cool to check out all the stuff we missed while Japanese players had their grubby mitts on the game with their a head start. Even if you're not sure of the Dream Address to travel to, you're sure to find some interesting towns and homes if you browse according to region and check out the Asian countries. If you want to personally explore Aika village, punch in 2600-0218-7298 and get ready for a bracing story that'll chill you to the bone.
It's been a little over a week since Animal Crossing New Leaf released to the US and I think I can easily say that I have been engrossed in the experience thus far. And not just engrossed either. I've remembered how comfortable a feeling it is when you make your own little groove in your Animal Crossing town. My daily routine of waking up, digging up fossils, donating and selling items, shaking trees for random goodies, catching bees (or getting stung by them), and talking to my neighbors along the way while catching random fauna.
Over a period of 5 days, I got comfortable in my new role as the mayor of Harbor. I got reacquainted with old Animal Crossing mechanics like farming catchables for bells while also learning the new features like the public works projects and the new Internet connectivity. But the one thing I love about Animal Crossing is the slower, more subdued pace it draws you into. So many games these days are about instant gratification, doing stuff really fast, and flashy effects and presentation. Even after nearly 12 years, the cornerstone of the game is still the real-time clock and slow burning progress. No fancy upgrades in graphics, no special additions that make the game run like a fast, fancy platformer or something. It's still about how when it's 4pm Monday in real life, it's 4pm Monday in your town and how things will change day by day rather than hour by hour.
Even though I forgot to talk to Tom Nook about my loan on the first day, I didn't time travel or anything. Instead, I took my forgetfulness in stride and just accepted the fact that I'd be a day behind most people when it comes to basic progress such as having a house, entering the Happy Home Academy. Yes, it takes days to unlock parts of the game you'd sometimes wish were unlocked from the start. I wasn't able to Streetpass until the fourth day of my stay in Harbor due to my mistake so I lost a lot of potential tags. But Animal Crossing isn't about doing stuff quickly. It's about enjoying each day for what it is. Crazy Redd could be in town and maybe you'd want to wait until you got home so you could reference the real art and separate the real stuff from the counterfeits. Or maybe it's the day you get a Luigi hat from Nookling Junction's fortune cookie. Or the final piece of an outfit appears at the Able Sister's and you can keep it in your closet so you can show Gracie Grace a complete fashion check with your Bear outfit. If there's one thing I appreciate about Animal Crossing, it's that it tells me to slow down my hectic day and stop to smell the roses. Work and money and family may get me down but I can always keep the town of Harbor in my back pocket and jump back in just to chat with some of my favorite neighbors like Tiffany the fashion conscious bunny, Jeremiah the money grubbing frog, Lolly the studious cat, or my best bud Hopper the penguin.
Yes, it is actually 3:51am. That's what happens when you have spare time during a graveyard shift.
Make no mistake though, AC encourages socializing too. For weeks before New Leaf's release, me and my friends were eager to start our town and cement plans. Now, I trade fruits with Mayor Piffles, bum around with Mayor Steffu, or go on a night time island tour with Mayor Kitty O. Sometimes, I see an item I don't want but would like to gift to one of my friends. Just the other day, Mayor Steffu admitted to accidentally selling her watering can, so I found a spare one and buried it in front of her home while I visited Almond.
But to me, one of the most fulfilling things about the game is sharing in the experience with my longtime girlfriend. I bought myself the physical copy but also got my girlfriend the 3DS XL bundle which has the game digitally pre-installed. Literally a day before I got the whole kitten kaboodle, the fear ran through my head of, "What if she doesn't like this game?" Granted, we'd finally both have 3DS' but not enjoying New Leaf together would be a blow to our start together. I've always played online with friends on Xbox Live but could never do so with Adriana because she just doesn't play enough games to justify owning an Xbox 360. She owned a DS for several years but staying abreast of DS game libraries is trickier compared to the hardware tied IDs of the 3DS.
Cut to June 15, six days after I started playing New Leaf. Adriana finally came to spend the weekend and I handed her the 3DS XL I got her. To my relief, she enjoyed her first few minutes with the 3DS, setting it up and getting used to the menus. We spent the day doing couples stuff like eating a nice pizza, going to the beach, and watching TV. What I never could've predicted was just how much she'd like Animal Crossing. Though in retrospect, Animal Crossing is a lot like previous social games she's played on Facebook before.
Just like real-life, I meet her at the train station.
It's now been five days since she started playing as Kitty O. from the town of Yerba Bu. I'm amazed that she not only loves the game but that she likes it in much the same ways that I do. Tiffany lives in both our towns strangely enough but we both love her as a neighbor. My favorite thing about her engrossing herself into the game was her relation to a new deer townie, Bruce the blue deer.
At first, she said she absolutely loved her little town except for Bruce. She told me he was routinely mean to her and made fun of her. She asked me how she could get rid of him and I told her about the method which is normally reserved for neighbors who accidentally pick up naughty habits from other mayors such as inappropriate language. This was her first day of mayor winding down.
On her second day, I was slightly surprised to find out that she'd been playing the game in the morning as I slept in. When I visited her town, I saw Bruce wandering around town in a pink sweater. Adriana told me a neighbor asked her to deliver a gift to Bruce and he put on the sweater on the spot. I tried talking to him, maybe asked him to be a little nicer, but Bruce was only interested in making small talk. But suspect wearing such a loud sweater softened his image because just today, after a few days, mayor Kitty O. came to my town in a new cream cami. I asked Adriana where she got the new shirt and to my surprise, she told me Bruce gave it to her. Apparently he's been nicer as well as talking about me and Adriana's developed a soft spot for him.
Over the course of a few days, my girlfriend went from hating Bruce to liking him, all while exchanging clothes with each other. With our nightly island runs and late night house parties, I've recognized a strange feeling with my girlfriend since we started playing together. It's the feeling of being closer then ever before with her with something I never imagined I'd get so close with her with before: video games. I've given her Tetris DS before, Phoenix Wright, and played Crashmo together, but this felt different. I wasn't just indulging in my own past time anymore but I'm actually playing with her now. She texts me what's going on in her town like a ram moving in or when she buys new furniture and some jerk of a bird tries to buy it off her for a fraction of the price.
It's now been a few days since I started writing this. Any worries of burning out disappeared when Nookling's Cranny remodeled into T&T Mart and the shoe store still isn't open yet (I guess they need time to build the store from scratch). My home still has several expansions in store, the museum isn't close to completion and now that T&T Mart has opened with the catalog system, I want to collect more items to fill it and create nice, feng shui happy rooms. Not to mention all the patterns I've yet to design.
So come on into Animal Crossing New Leaf. The weather's great, everyday has something interesting, and you can take it at your pace. Even at 2am in the morning.
If you've been enjoying you stay in New Leaf, why not show off your Dtoid pride? Along with AlphaDeus, there is a small selection of Dtoid inspired patterns to wear!
AlphaDeus' take on the Dtoid t-shirt.
My own take on it with the QR codes!
If you have a twitter, why not try showing off your stuff too. Try #Dtoidshirt and see who among the Destructoid army will take notice and try your sweet duds? In case you didn't know, you can upload your pictures directly to twitter or tumblr. Don't forget sites like QRcrossing either (which I have an account on of course).
This review of has certain elements of the most recent episode of Attack on Titan. If you are wary of spoilers, please be careful.
This season's biggest anime is easily Attack on Titan (Shingeki no Kyojin). I've seen lots of people talk about it and wonder out loud if they should watch it. While in most cases, I recommend it as much as I can, sometimes I catch myself wondering why I like it. Why is it this season's hottest anime? Because sometimes this show can be crushing and depressing. Yet at the same time, the mystery and action at hand is so enveloping, you oftentimes lose track of just how invested you've become.
Attack on Titan takes place in a world where humanity has been brought to the brink of extinction by mysterious giants, referred to as titans. They appeared suddenly one day and began devouring humans with what is literally a single-minded purpose to wipe out all humans. Not only do they have no interest in other animals and regenerate any damage inflicted on them, they don't even require nourishment from eating. They simply prefer killing people by eating them. Their seeming invincibility combined with their sudden and massive appearance drove humanity into a corner, forced to live in a three walled fort that must be no bigger than a large island and culturally freezing what was left to the medieval ages.
The titans are effectively the whole point to the show. They continue to be a mystery even in the manga which is much further in. Yet they are such a destructive, almost natural phenomena which immediately demonstrates to the viewer the feelings of despair that would arise from living like cattle in fear for 100 years. Even though the show takes place during a time where technology and methods have been developed to fight back, whenever titans appear, tragedy and madness are sure to follow.
The only way to kill is a titan is to cut in the nape of their neck. To do this, the military invented equipment known as 3D maneuvering gear. It's essentially a harness around the hips which fires gas operated grappling hooks, and it comes with swords with disposable blades. With intense training, a soldier can zip around the landscape and slice at a titan's only weak point, causing it to disintegrate Resident Evil-style. Any other method of combat isn't practical enough to destroy the weak point and the 3D maneuver gear is the government's closely guarded lost secret. Perhaps the last of lost technology from before the time of titans.
The series focuses on Eren Jaeger and his bloody vendetta against the titans. As a child, after nearly 100 years of peace, the titans suddenly broke through the outermost wall where he lived and his mother died in the invasion. Alongside his adoptive sister Mikasa Ackerman and friend Armin Arlart, they enlist in the military to fight the titan threat. But 5 years larer, as soon as they finish basic training, the inner wall humanity had retreated to is breached as well and within the span of the first few episodes, we see the terrorizing affect titans have on the seemingly incapable humans. Women wail in despair, men scream like children, and blood flies everywhere as titans treat humans like toys and the people can do nothing but mentally shut down from the horror.
Once again, the titans are a large focus as an antagonistic force. Not only are they already larger than humans, but some are uniquely aberrant, with strange qualities and quirks such as leaping through the air and being covered in hard armor plating. The mystery of what exactly the titans are is quickly magnified early on with another twist to the problem. Eren is capable of transforming into a titan that can fight back.
How can Eren transform? What does that mean in relation to other titans? Or other humans? And how can this be used to win the war? It's a mystery on top of a mystery.
It's at this point where I want to acknowledge that I feel I haven't been adequately described why Attack on Titan is so good. Only I actually have if you've stuck through all this. Besides the focus on the titans, the world building in Attack on Titan is thorough and dense. And yet everything is delivered within the first few episodes. Anything more is simply the icing that is the unknown that will be fun to speculate and discover. We get a sense of the setting (which is interestingly limited due to humanity's shrinking territory), we learn of how powerful the antagonists are, and we learn that despite the dystopian outlook for the protagonists, fighting back is still an option that defines the heroes of the series. Everything about the world that's needed to make it believable is presented for our digestion and it helps to draw us in.
Of course, I should also mention the beautiful animation. Production IG always produces some top notch work and in this case, we get sweeping, red tinged vistas with giants wandering through towns, piercing expressions of hopelessness and rage, and probably the biggest selling point for fans of the manga, seeing the 3D maneuvering gear in action.
In the opening theme alone, we see a soldier in slow motion as he displays the acrobatic potential of the 3D gear. What we could only imagine in still manga, Production IG has now re-imagined in what is frankly the coolest display of acrobatics and human motion I've ever seen. With the grappling hooks resting on their hip where the human body pivots the most, soldiers will swing, spin, twirl, and flip effortlessly through the air and around the local architecture along with a few titans. Some characters do 720 spins before slicing through titan necks. The moment a charcter manages to get to a titan's weakpoint are some of the most striking moments in the show so far.
So why should you watch Attack on Titan? Why should you believe all the hype and commotion about it?
The plot will draw you in. Once you think you've gotten comfortable with the status quo of how the mystery is panning out, a new one appears to grab your attention again and make sure you don't slip out.
The animation is fluid and quality. The juxtaposition between the towering titans, the fleet humans, and rows and rows of static architecture they weave through truly make the action portion of this show stand out in between the dramatic moments of hopelessness.
It might be difficult to separate my opinion from the ongoing manga, but I feel Attack on Titan deserves every bit of praise it is getting and then some. This is like Gurren Lagann for me or Fate/Stay; it's the stand out choice for this season.
There's always that one guy who says, "I've played Animal Crossing but I don't get it."
Then again, Animal Crossing was probably a precursor to the slew of games that people don't get. Games with a vague goal; where the enjoyment is difficult to describe and is just there. But there are some things that are probably easier to explain as to why Animal Crossing is enjoyable. I mean, it's not accurate to call it a life simulator like lazier gamers would call it. No, that would be a disservice to how enjoyably idealistic Animal Crossing is compared to real life. Animal Crossing lets you escape real life to a better, simpler life. Something compelling enough to say, leave a party early because Crazy Redd is going to pack up his black market soon and seeing if he has any rare swag is much better than celebrating your friend's birthday.
No, no. Animal Crossing is better than real life. So much better that it's almost a shame the next iteration isn't on a home console because it gives you an excuse to go home. But seriously, any boring moment can be passed if you have Animal Crossing in your back pocket.
You get to be a home owner with zero interest I don't even own a home and I know the process isn't like buying a candy bar. People don't just have enough money laying around to buy a house in cash. No sir, if I am to understand adult life correctly, there are things called loans and mortgages you use because, "You're not rich don't lie to yourself. We'll help you pay off this house but we're not just giving you money. If you take too long, there's this thing called interest that accumulates for no reason other than our own profit, so get to paying it slugger and enjoy your new house!"
In Animal Crossing, the resident entrepenuer, Tom Nook, is usually despised for what is essentially indentured servitude. Only he simply gets a bad rap because he asks you to buy a house without letting you so much as say no. But he lets you buy a house interest free. Hell, your house is essentially free if you decide to never give Nook any bells, the currency of Animal Crossing. Just wanna live in a shack and never give Nook a dime? There's no interest, or loan sharks, or repo men. You essentially pay off your house the same way you'd pay for Sony's online Playstation services: you can pay them money for Plus but no one's going to make you break your back for that money. You can easily still play online and not pay a cent. So in this sense, you can continue to have a roof over your head and never need to pay a bell. But paying off those loans gets you expansions after all.
The economy is bursting and independent I get an average of 24 hours a week at my part-time job working at a theme park, working that minimum wage plus premiums depending on the time and job. I wouldn't be able to afford your average rent on my own though, let alone buy fancy things. Most people my age around me find a roommate to split an apartment.
That's some Lost World stuff going on here
But in Animal Crossing, you can sell the fruit you find on trees and make enough money to buy what? Enough stuff to furnish your newly expanded home? Items include a grandfather clock, chic drawer, and even a whole bed. Not to mention the clothing you can buy. All off what can only be considered day laborer work.
There's fruit to harvest, random furniture and clothing to sell second hand, a thriving ecosystem to be exploited (RED SNAPPERS), and every town seems to be built on top of prime archaeological real estate where you can sell fossils for capitalistic gain. The cultural advancement of my home town? Yeah right! Take that boney gold to the nearest Nook's chain and get cold hard bells for it.
Interpersonal relations are easy and binary Human interaction is complex and annoying. Say you want to talk to a friend about that awesome pie you ate and they think pies rock. But make a new friend and if you bring up your favorite and extremely important pie small talk, they'll rebuff you because their father was killed by a pie and now you've dredged up some painful memories that just kills the whole conversation. And the next person loves pies but only apple pies and if you bring up anything else like peach cobbler, he's going to call you a pie scrub and tell you to take your bitch ass somewhere else.
Interacting with your neighbors in Animal Crossing is far easier and while perhaps a bit simplistic, it makes enjoying their company much easier compared to guess-the-pie-temperament of most real humans.
Now, I don't want to call them shallow, but your neighbors will be easy to understand and easy to get along with. All Rex the lion wants to talk about is that dream he had about how he ate a marshmellow and how his pillow disappeared in the morning. Basically, he wants to talk about food all the time and maybe he's a stoner. Meanwhile, there's Goose the chicken. He's a meathead of an exercise freak but at least he won't be dropping any bombs about how his friend the other day told him how much of a jerk he is and why he thinks everyone else is so wrong in their opinions. No sir, he's going to talk about how many push ups he can do because he is proud of his abs goddammit.
Start up a random conversation and they might even give you a present! And they'll never expect anything in return. You could just be talking about the weather then bam! He gives you a sweet new table to put your pies on.
Everything's closer I live in Southern California, which is basically all car and commuter culture. Anyplace I want to go to, I have to drive there. Work is always a 2 hour drive, friends are a half hour away, and shopping is 15. I have to always think about my gas and the commute time and while I've been to rural areas where everything is much further apart, commuter life still makes the world feel spaced out.
But in Animal Crossing, everything's within walking distance. The stores, neighbors, friends, the museum, and even other towns are only a small train ride away. Public transportation is almost binary there! Here, I have to worry about bus routes and train schedules but in Animal Crossing, if I want to visit another town, I just hop on a train and it's always on time; my time.
Want a change of pace? There are constantly new faces visiting and setting up shop. Flea markets, touring clothing designers, wandering artists, and aliens who are actually animals in possession of flying saucer technology. You never have to go far to find something interesting and likewise, your trip back home to kick back is never going to be long. Stay out too late on a fishing trip for exotic fish? No problem. My house is literally 5 minutes away.
Anyone can be an artist So say inspiration strikes you and you want to suddenly paint your own design and put it on the wall. Well, good luck on the supplies and application but after it's all said and done, what then? Just put it on your sidewalk and ask for takers? A hobo is more likely to sell his wares then you at that point. Everyone could use a clean windshield.
But make a design in Animal Crossing and suddenly not only can it be displayed anywhere, it's fits into an almost universal design slot. A fancy pattern can be both a nice shirt and a creative wallpaper! Plus the Able Sisters will always proudly display your creative endeavors. Not to mention how easy it is to visit other towns and peruse that town's own indie designers.
I'm sorry, is actually making the pattern too hard for you? Well now you can take a snap shot of a QR code and have the pattern instantly assembled for you! Think of all the Link shirts there'll be floating around! It definitely will not be so indie at that point.
Real life is a pain in the ass compared to living with animals. Everyone wants to be your friend and everything is cheaper without sacrificing quality. Compared to real life which can be filled with backstabbers trying to hawk knock off goods to you with their exorbitant prices in an attempt to prey off whatever is left of your good side.
Let's face it, when Animal Crossing New Leaf comes out, life will be better if only so we can finally have a second, more enjoyable life.
Listen up you Turkish ghost monkeys! Hoss Delgado has something to say and Hoss Delgado does not. Repeat. HIMSELF. I clearly am the worthy recipient of this Delgado recording device. It could very well jump start my long stagnant paranormal business and regular start my YouTube side career.
A CAREER IN EXPOSING FRAUDS
As the world's foremost 2,057th authority on ghosts and video games television on the internet (something I like to shorten to GAVGTOTI), a man must always be prepared for any situation. Which is why I'm already prepared with a television based recording device for all my current VGTOTI needs. I already have a thriving install base of 212 subscribers, with potentially 213 on a snow day. And of course, in between the uploads of all my riveting games involving multiplayer failures and reality television style singleplayer gaming, I also hunt down exotic paranormal creatures to make ends meet. Creatures such as Blaculas, striped yetis, and swedish fiend chefs, all of which terrorize humanity behind the scenes and various restaurants. But Hoss Delgado is always searching for ways to improve himself. Much like how Ghandi was constantly improving himself. By learning krav maga before purchasing himself an AK-47.
But don't take my word for it. Hoss Delgado knows words mean nothing. Nothing when compared to the hot sting of six .50 caliber rifles duct-taped onto a cylinder to create my patented Delgado-nizer. Or perhaps just an example of my previous exploits. Such as when I deigned to play The Simpsons with other Dtoiders. Or when I celebrated Destructoid's 6th birthday! Or when I threw my voice at some skeletons, and when I realized it wasn't hurting them, I threw astral arrows at them! Or Terraria with friends with Mario World as the background music! All this with my current set up! Imagine the strength of my brand with the Delgado Game Capture HD!
What? It's called an Elgato? But I thought this technology was rightfully mine due to copyright? Nobody knows who Hoss Elgato is anyways!
If I win, my first action will not be to play some games and put it on the internet. It will be to rename this device the Hoss Delgado Game Capture HD.