Listen up you Turkish ghost monkeys! Hoss Delgado has something to say and Hoss Delgado does not. Repeat. HIMSELF. I clearly am the worthy recipient of this Delgado recording device. It could very well jump start my long stagnant paranormal business and regular start my YouTube side career.
A CAREER IN EXPOSING FRAUDS
As the world's foremost 2,057th authority on ghosts and video games television on the internet (something I like to shorten to GAVGTOTI), a man must always be prepared for any situation. Which is why I'm already prepared with a television based recording device for all my current VGTOTI needs. I already have a thriving install base of 212 subscribers, with potentially 213 on a snow day. And of course, in between the uploads of all my riveting games involving multiplayer failures and reality television style singleplayer gaming, I also hunt down exotic paranormal creatures to make ends meet. Creatures such as Blaculas, striped yetis, and swedish fiend chefs, all of which terrorize humanity behind the scenes and various restaurants. But Hoss Delgado is always searching for ways to improve himself. Much like how Ghandi was constantly improving himself. By learning krav maga before purchasing himself an AK-47.
But don't take my word for it. Hoss Delgado knows words mean nothing. Nothing when compared to the hot sting of six .50 caliber rifles duct-taped onto a cylinder to create my patented Delgado-nizer. Or perhaps just an example of my previous exploits. Such as when I deigned to play The Simpsons with other Dtoiders. Or when I celebrated Destructoid's 6th birthday! Or when I threw my voice at some skeletons, and when I realized it wasn't hurting them, I threw astral arrows at them! Or Terraria with friends with Mario World as the background music! All this with my current set up! Imagine the strength of my brand with the Delgado Game Capture HD!
What? It's called an Elgato? But I thought this technology was rightfully mine due to copyright? Nobody knows who Hoss Elgato is anyways!
If I win, my first action will not be to play some games and put it on the internet. It will be to rename this device the Hoss Delgado Game Capture HD.