As I glance at the clock on my desktop, I realize that within the next hour the weekly topic for Blogger's Wanted will not matter. However, the fact that I am sitting here preparing to write this is an eye opener. A personal note to myself as proof as to why these resolutions need to be put into effect. Over the years, I have become a tad lazy without actual being lazy - if that statement makes sense. I have shifted into the typical '9 to 5' life style. Forty hours of my week are dedicated to nothing more than working for a living; last year, I broke away from my family to set out on my own and since then, my perspective of priorities has changed. Free time has become a precious treasure as I rarely seem to have it between my shifts, daily routine, and necessary responsibilities that come with being your sole provider. Even tonight, I was home for about an hour or more before I could settle down to do something I wanted
to do after coming home from a typical eight hour shift.
I am twenty-two and at the risk of hinting at a mid-mid-life crisis, one fourth of my life is over. (Of course that is based on the assumption I will live till at least eighty.) I am still struggling against the battle of entering college in order to obtain my degree; despite the hardships I am facing regarding finances, I have come to the realization that I can still have promising opportunities that I can focus on as I continue to save up to pay for classes. Some opportunities that could potentially help fund my education. While my mind is cluttered with ideas and things I want to do, I know time is against me but I am making it my goal to try to discover a way to balance everything in my life. Regarding my social life, my relationship, my job, and my schooling as well as my free time...It would appear that video games may need to take a back seat yet, they are still a main driver regarding my hopes for my future career.
Nearly eight years ago (Holy shit...It's been eight years...), we got our first computer and the internet. Eight years ago, I began to build upon my dream of being a video game journalist. My writing was absolutely notorious back then. Full of grammatical errors, poor spelling, vague descriptions, and horrid word choices, though would could be expected from a young teenager. I had started off very unprofessionally by posting reviews on internet forums. Somewhat building a reputation as a reliable, truthful source while my writing technique improved and I slowly began to develop my own style. I avoided scores when I could, going for more of an informative style of review over an opinionated one. To simply put it, I spoke the facts while sprinkling my own views here and there before recommending the game or not based on the reader's taste.
Some of my reviews eventually were published on some very small, lesser known web sites. Not long afterwards, I found myself helping a friend with his web site, while also building my own. Our need for worthwhile content led to me branching away from just reviewing to writing articles. Then almost two years ago, it was suggested to me by a friend that I write on Destructoid's Community Blogs. Needless to say, I was surprised, flattered, and greatly encouraged to continue writing - to continue to improve myself and my work while providing interesting things to say. The two years I have spent here have had a tremendous affect on my desire to follow my dream because I believe I might have a chance. You guys - All of you!
- have helped to keep that flame alive.
As a result, a friend of mine referred me to a magazine searching for journalists for their gaming section of their web site. As you can see from the provided image, I was accepted for the job. It is nothing extremely big at the moment. The whole writing staff is still working on developing the gaming aspect of Royal Flush Magazine, but we have ambitions and dreams, with hopes of covering PAX East in April. (Perhaps I will see some of you there.)
So my first resolution of the year is to continue to see this through, to take chances and risks with trying to make a name for myself in the endless seas of internet personalities. This will require me to be stricter with myself when it comes to meeting a deadline. Not only will I need to play a game by a certain date, but I will also need to provide a reasonably informative review along with it. On top of that, I will need to put effort into going to conventions and staying active within the media. I have started my own [url=" http://digitalboondoggle.blogspot.com/"]gaming blog[/url] as a way for me (and those interested) to track my progress, while also keeping myself on track.
Last summer, some of you might remember the short running of Steamtoid - the community ran stream. It started off positively. We had a few good games to play with a solid response from the community users. However, it crashed and burned quickly for a few reasons. The first being that the program I used to host the live streams began to conflict with my laptop. (That has since then been fixed.) The second was just purely bad timing. I was in the process of moving again. As I prepare to begin school again, I know time will be difficult to manage, but I plan on working everything out to where we end up having more than one streamer, like originally planned.
Streamtoid seemed like a fantastic idea on paper. People seemed to enjoy it, and I even received a few candidates for streamers though I selfishly never took the time to put the pieces together. For my second resolution, I plan on making it a reality. Making Streamtoid official is my second resolution for the year. At a later date, we will try it again but make all the needed preparations to make it active and place it on a set schedule.
(The same can be said regarding Project Gforum
, the place where my streaming roots are planted. I have turned my back on the first community that pushed me this far. So I am adding it to my list to be more active with them again.)
3. Embracing creativity
Writing has always been a passion of mine, ever since I was young. It was my dream to one day become a published author, to make my mark on the literary world even if it was just a single pen stroke on the ceiling of the Sistin Chapel of fiction. However, situations and incidents throughout life somewhat smothered the burning passion I use to have. The flame died as I grew overly critical of my work; constantly comparing it to the legends and growing discouraged by the overwhelming fear of never being noticed, but hey, if Stephanie Meyer's wet dreams can become best selling works... Then maybe my twisted reality can, too. (Yeah, it will not but oh well.)
This is going to be a challenge for me mainly because I will need to break away from video games in order to chase after this dream. I need to take some time to actual read more in order to better grasp the concepts behind writing fiction. I need to learn to better portray and develop my characters, properly progress the plot, and learn better writing techniques on top of improving my vocabulary while also defining my genre.
For this resolution, I am going to begin by picking up a few self-help writing books and start doing small writing exercises to start practicing my techniques. Even with just writing this I can see many flaws with my wording. I start far too many sentences off with prepositional phrases, there are too many simple sentences, and in the few fictional writings I have done recently, I have noticed a great emptiness with descriptions. I tend to use the same metaphors and similes too often while also falling victim to repeating words. These are all habits I need to break before anything else. Characters and the plot will follow. I have some ideas already in my head including a character I have been working on for the pass six or so months. (I think I am going to use him as my protagonist.) Slowly but surely, I will begin writing again to chase my goal of releasing a collection of short stories that could become a novelette or a novella.
Personally, I would love to be like Ken Levine, coming up with the concepts and being in control of the creative direction of a game or television show or film. In a way, I would prefer that over a published author. The way today is, I feel as I could do more with visuals than I could with words for I am a very visual person. I can paint you a picture with letterings but to see it come to life would be a whole different experience...A whole new dream and one that is certainly up for grabs.
It has been a year since I have had my cello in my hands. Unfortunately when I moved the first time, my instrument could not fit into the two small vehicles that were my transportation for all my belongings. I had to sacrifice it in order to make room for furniture, cooking utensils, and clothing. I still get the urge to play it, especially when listening to string instrument pieces. I have found myself browsing through classified ads searching for a cheap cello to just pick up in order to rebuild fading muscle memory. Today I decided to finally push to get my cello sent to me. I need it...I have to have it.
While my desires for advancing my technical career and improving my writing are going to swallow most of the little free time I have, I miss my cello. I miss the bliss it brought me as I played though after teaching myself the lullaby from Pan's Labyrinth
, I have compiled a list of songs I want to somewhat master by the year's end including: Doctor Who
theme, the ending credits to Trilby's Notes
, and maybe the Ballad of Serenity
since I stumbled upon two cellists playing it the other day on the internet.