Steamtoid Challenge: Weak Sex

For those new to the Steamtoid Challenge, check out what it's all about right here. With that out of the way, let's get started.

First! There are rules to be followed!
1) Must have a Steam account!
2) Must join the Destructoid group on Steam
3) Must join Dtoid's chatroom (AKA Steamtoid)

Now onto the challenge.
Top reason why Tarvu is bad for your health
Deadline: Monday, October 17th, 2011

Could be funny, awkward, epic, or just fucked up, it's all good!
I will accept 3 submissions from each person as there's about a bajillion reasons.
Submissions can be sent by commenting here, or in the Steamtoid group.
Prizes are given out on Mondays, because Mondays need less suck!

It's alright if you don't know who or what a Tarvu is (No one really does), so just imagine the most foul, disgusting, dense, ignorant, impure, raunchy, tasteless, sleazy, uncouth and gut-wretchingly ugly being - And you have a Tarvu.

This is what Tarvu used to be, before you-know-what happened