Dr. Albino, or How I Learned to Stop Crying and Not Hate Mass Effect 3s Ending
// Submitted @ 2:45 AM on 03.23.2012
Oh hi, been a while. How are you? Annoyed? By either the crying about the ending, all the theories, the dlc either being begged for you that you know is coming? Well. Iím gonna tell you something, I think all this shit was planned. Bioware isnít tardedÖ. Wait, wait, I know, I know, KOTOR 2, trust me I know. Bethesda made the same mistake, even though New Vegas didnít turn out that bad when they handed it over to Obsidian for a round but still I know. And yes, Dragon Age 2, I know, everyone has things go wrong, but you know what, no one is that stupid.
Now Iím not here to tell you why I believe the Indoctrination Theory is correct, or why I donít like the endings. There are plenty of things doing so already, some I might end up plugging cause I donít want to rant about it myself. We donít need me having a whinge, having a sulk, having a fucking cry about it, thereís enough of that.
No, Iím here to just state why Iím not worried or pissed anymore. Donít care? Well then tl:dr this, Iím fine with that, from one troll to another, itís ok bro. Stop asking me if Iím mad, I just told you it was cool, chill. FUCKING CHILL!
Now Iíve spent a few weeks after beating the game, not touching the damn thing. Playing mostly another EA title, in Battlefield 3, add a sucky job and a dame taking new game + time away. That being said my computer is next to my tv, so Iíve had the time to dig through the internet. In between Ninja The Mission Force, Botchamania and EpicMealTime (whom Iíve seen live!) Iíve caught a lot of this Indoctrination business. Oh and TED talks, fucking love those, but yeah, Iíve even read that ďA Logical Breakdown of Why the Mass Effect 3 Ending Makes No SenseĒ Google.Doc (plug 1). I know, tl;dr or ďFUCK YOU I CANíT EAT ALL THEM FUCKING APPLES!Ē but it helped my confusion.
Unlike a lot of people though I didnít leave the ending as a pissed off mess, I just left kinda confused. I chose the synthesis because, well I didnít fill up Paragon so the blue option was out and I wasnít doing a renegade run so red was out. Iíve been polarized like that ever since Fallout 3, itís an issue Iíve developed with new game + games with morality systems. It was so easy when I was just doing it to get an ending that was different, looking at you Chrono games, looking at you.
ALRIGHT! WORD PAGE TWO! IíM ON A ROLL! Ok, so now, what spurred me writing this. I was watching Spoony review a shitty Tekken movie when I remembered I saw Angry Joe had a new video when I was on TGWTG, yes Iím telling you what I do on the internet, Iím sorry, but Iím lame. Now he did a review of ME3, a why the ending sucks video and I wasnít sure what the fuck else he could have done. It was an indoctrination video. Now Iím getting tired of all this shit too, trust, so I went to see if other things updated, but I was out of luck. So I watched it, and he pointed out the video by ACAVYOS and the doc and all that shit. Now it didnít make me decide what theory is correct but it did make me decide this.
Bioware isnít the fucktards that people have been calling them. I honestly believe that they planned this shit, the arguments, the theories, the rage, the counter rage, and all this shit. I believe they are evil fucking masterminds who dangled what we want in front of our faces, and ripped it further away to make us create so much fucking buzz about this shit that people will want to see what the hell we are all bitching about. We have become their post-launch viral marketing, their fucking scheme worked.
It was god damn brilliant. Make everyone get a rager so hard that they have to wank it all over the fucking internet. YOUR RAGE SEMEN IS THEIR WAR MACHINE FUEL! They have been poking this fire from the first day the shitstorm started, polls, tweets, all that shit. I canít say this enough, itís fucking brilliant. They toss a Prothean behind a wall, give him story shit to say, people bitch an put it on youtube, but they toss the ending behind a shit ton of flak and make us try to figure it out just to get more people to fucking want to see what the fuck is actually gonna happen. That fucking donation drive for a ending is up to what now? A fuckton, all without the marketplaces cut? How many petitions and polls of people on their knees, begging, with mouths and wallets wide open for this?
And Iím not even saying itís greed behind this. They want us, the fans, to show them how much we give a shit about this series. They are trolling an emotional response out of all of us. The way they are doing it seems evil as hell to me but god damn, Jim said it, this is fucking FANTASTIC! What the hell else has torn this kind of response out of our jaded community? I canít remember the last time everyone talked about something video game related this long and hard(hehe) about anything that actually meant a shit to people. Bioware has trolled and we fed them like slaves feeding an emperor a bunch of grapes. Good show Bioware, Good show.
Now thatís not why Iíve come to accept the ending, Iíve come to accept it because, fuck it, why the hell should I get pissed. Itís a game, yes a game Iím really invested in but damn guys, we didnít write this shit. Weíre not entitled to shit. We canít always have the things the way we want. They didnít pull a George Lucas, they made something that sparked enough debate to cause an uproar, while knowing what is really up all along. Damn near all of the game up until the last hour was fantastic, I saw things happen to characters that I never would have thought. I saw some of my crew go out like heroes, because I donít care what run Iím doing, they are my damn crew. Death, love, fear, rage, getting drunk of pancakes, ALL THAT SHIT! Journey, not the destination and all that fucking shit. Iím still going to do more playthroughs, Iím not gonna bitch about DLC in a game I fucking liked that had a confusing end. I want more, Iíve wanted more of worse games. Almost all of us have played shitty games without bitching like this yet just because this is Mass Effect, entitlement is everywhere. If youíre not in for any more of this, fine, if you want to bitch, fine, but donít expect me to care, Iím gonna keep going with this and let it fucking happen.
Also, no pictures or links, I'm lazy and tired.