August 1, 1848

Welp, turns out it's August.

What? You IDIOT! I told you to keep track of time! I told you we had to leave around April! Now we're going to wind up in a blizzard, or worse!

Woah, woah, hold on a second. Was I SERIOUSLY the only one in the family who was supposed to know what day it was?

We don't have time to YAK YAK YAK! Let's get the wagon going. Digit, you go join the oxen as usual.

Yes, ma.

Aright, let's get out of here pronto. Some guy in a pink suit's been eying me all day.





Oh, wait a tic...



Can't live without me steak. Alright, let's go already.

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3 days later...



Ma, pa, there's a gat dang river in the way.

Just plow through the damn thing. We have 20 fucking oxen after all.

Don't be an idiot, Dessie. Let's just take that ferry over there.

Screw that, I ain't payin five bucks to drag the wagon onto some rickety piece of plywood.

Kershpooooooo

Pops, I think she's saying that we should caulk the wagon. Y'know, make it into a boat and stuff?

That is the most retarded goddamn idea I have ever heard. Y'know what, Digit? Go into that river and drown yourself until the stupid drains out.

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Reader Input Time:

We've reached the first river. Should we plow through like an idiot, caulk the wagon like a bigger idiot, or take the ferry like a wussy?