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7:18 PM on 03.15.2009

Hulk VS Tank, Who would win?

Ok, so I had to find a picture of the Hulk earlier today, and in google images, there was a picture of a Left 4 Dead Tank with the caption of "Hulk smash!". I thought to myself: "That'd be an interesting fight...", and from that thought came this blog.

Both of them shirtless, looking as if they consumed a lethal amount of steroids, and both of them pissed off at the world, this fight would be a close one


Both of them have super strength, probably about even too. I mean look at them. Same size, shape, and about the same muscle size too, I think that they would be pretty evenly matched.

Special Abilities:
The tank, being the magical creature that it is, can get a large chunk of concrete from the ground, regardless if the ground is made of concrete. You see grass, the tank touches that grass, the grass is now concrete, you see the concrete speeding towards your skull at 90MPH. Given the area the fight takes place in, this mysterious power could give the tank a big advantage. Think of it. Grassy field, nothing for Hulk to throw, and suddenly the tank beats him upside the face with concrete. And even worse, the concrete magically disappears after the hit, leaving Hulk no chance to take it from the tank and use it himself.
The tank is kind of Ape like in the way it moves, but not the Hulk. No, the Hulk stands tall and proud. This gives him a speed advantage, so he can out run the tank if need be. Hell, he might even be able to get behind him and give him a good smash to the back of the skull.

A zombie isn't so bright, and thats what the tank is, a zombie, so he is most likely retarded
The Hulk has anger issues, and doesn't really think before he acts. Blinded by rage, he is fairly stupid.

The tank takes a lot of damage to put down, but eventually he dies.
The Hulk doesn't seem to die easy. I mean sure, he can die, it just takes a hell of a lot of manpower.

In my own opinion, I think the tank might win. Afterall, the tank is like one big Zombie Hulk.

What are your thoughts? Who would win?

-Spike   read

2:07 PM on 03.15.2009

After some thought about this... (NVGR)

After some thought on the reason for the Cat is away thing, I have traced it back to the fact that no one is posting anything good. To quote one user, it is a "slow day" on Destructoid. And seeing as I have nothing to do for a little while, I think I can fix that. I don't have anywhere I have to be for a few hours, and even then, I won't be gone all that long.

My plan for making the blog better today is simple. I have about 5 or 6 blog ideas in my head that I find very interesting. Of course I don't have time to post 6 blogs, no, that would take too long. But what I do have time for is to post maybe 1 or 2 of them, and that may help to break up the spam, so why not? And to all you waiting for a good post on this especially slow day, I say onto you, write a good blog yourself, and thou will receive a feeling of satisfaction (Don't ask, felt like speaking Bible style).

But I do have to say, some of the people twisting the spam into different things have been pretty funny, I'll give them that (CATS, IMMA KITTY CAT!). Heres hoping for a amazing blog to come out of a user today, because I sure as hell need something to do for the next couple hours.

This may be overkill, two blogs about the cat thing withen like ten minutes or so, but I had to add this little bit on, and felt it kind of deserved its own post.

Don't worry, no more focusing on "Cats away" in my later blogs unless I have some un-resistable reason.

-Spike   read

1:31 PM on 03.15.2009

"Cats away"? No. Just no. NVGR

OH GAWD! Too much spam!

Hmm, I think that everyone should stfu. Both sides are kind of right. Theres the people that say its worthless, and others say its harmless. They say the spam blogs push down better ones, and then the other sides defense it that it is the weekend, so why are they (the good blogs) being posted? Well, heres the thing. Some people have, I dunno, jobs? They can't post mon-fri, so they have to do weekends. And we shouldn't have to hide our blogs that we took a good 2hrs to research and write and repost them just so drunks and idiots can have some fun.

If you don't want to contribute something good, don't, but don't be a dick and spam. Get a life, because some people with lives only have spare time on Saturdays, if even then, and good for them that they contribute to D-toid when their lives slow down for a day. I mean, come on. If you work hard all week, take an hour or two to write something great, that you think everyone would enjoy, post it, but NO ONE gets to read it because of a series of animals having sex with inanimate things, wouldn't you get pissed off?

I've been busy all week, and I infact did write a fairly lengthy blog late last night (My blog that took forever to write because of computer issues, but only a handful of people saw because of the spam). Its not my fault I have things to do in the week, and can't post as often during the work week. Hell, the blog may not be that great, some people could like it, agree with it, give me the thumbs up for it. While others might insult it, argue with it, and write a blog countering it. But thats a GOOD thing. If they hate it enough to throw a good, constructive blog onto the site, opposing my views, then at least its better then spam. I would rather have people post blogs insulting my opinions, then having worthless, content void post. Think about it. Not to be an asshole and ruin the fun, but it gets old.

You say to hide the good blogs and repost? No. I say YOU hide the worthless blogs and never repost them.
You say people shouldn't post things on Saturday nights, that no one will notice? I say some people have busy lives so get over the time the blog was posted.

Your probably gonna post some MEME or FAIL images in the comments to this, or maybe ignore this blog completely, but hey, idc. It doesn't hurt me if the people on a website disagree. I just thought I would post a blog with actual meaning, not some youtube video that I didn't even make. Go on, if you hate this enough then blog about why I'm wrong. At least thats better use of your time then a god damned video of an animal making love to an inanimate object.

So yeah, the drunks are kind of right, in the sense that less people will see good blogs if posted on Saturday night, but hey, less is better then none. If you keep posting like idiots, who knows, you could force all the intelligent people out of Destructoid, and you may eventually destroy everything good about this site. I know I haven't been here long, but I hope I can be here for awhile. And I don't want to have to leave because the blog page is covered in spam, and theres nothing to read.

So before you follow the trend, before you post a blog showing us all how worthless and unorginal you really are, stop. Think: "What can I do thats more constructive for the good of this blog?". Hopefully you'll be smart enough NOT to respond to yourself with "Dog humps something, perfect."


-Spike   read

10:33 PM on 03.14.2009

Resident Evil 5: My impressions

Don't say I didn't warn you.

Last night, me and a good friend of mine sat in my living room late at night, and in one loooong sitting, beat the game on Normal mode Co-op. We started at about 10:00 PM, and didn't stop until about 10:00 AM this morning. We took things slow, getting strategies for combat, and goofing off a bit. Here are our final thoughts on the game.

I would like to state that, before going any farther, I think this game takes too many things from RE4, and because of it, feels like Deja-Vu. But I haven't played RE4 in awhile, so It wasn't SO bad.

Starting out, I was less experienced then my friend, for he had played the Xbox 360 demo, and was already used to the game. Even though we were playing on the PS3, the controls were about the same. Putting this aside, me being the RE vet, and RE5 being the first RE game for him to play, I took the lead as Chris. I must say I am impressed with how fun the Co-op mode was. It gave a new degree of strategy to the game, different from RE4. In RE4, you had to take on the mob alone, which only gave you a few choices in strategy. But in RE5, you can play several ways. You can stick together, holding your position in a building, or split up, luring the zombies away from your partner. This doesn't really apply to the single player mode though, for Sheva follows you wherever you go.

Meet Sheva, Jills replacement....I miss Jill already

The first levels did a good job setting up a situation. Hostile village, new company as main villain (Tricell), old foes paying a visit. The plot kept me going, made me want to keep playing. I knew in the back of my mind how it was supposed to turn out (damn you no-warning spoiler pages on the internet!), but there were so many ways it could get there, that I just HAD to find out. This is the main reason for our one sitting play through ("But if we stop now we won't kick Wesker's ass!")

Gameplay is very similar to RE4. It has the same feel to it, as well as a similar control style. Some would call this a bad thing, but I can't complain. What I am complaining about, however, is the lack of puzzles. There are few, if any, real puzzles. This takes away from gameplay for me, because I LOVE puzzles. I mean, you had to scavenge for parts of a stone for a door or two, but honestly, thats not a REAL puzzle. A real RE style puzzle would have a cryptic clue, and a little bit of back tracking. But if I think about it, RE4 only had 2 or 3 real puzzles, and RE5 had almost nothing that I would consider a real puzzle, so I guess its safe to say that puzzles won't be a main aspect in RE6 either (But even without the puzzles I will keep buying the games, because the story is so damn addictive). Besides, the new "1-1" level system kind of takes the back tracking part out of the equation, which is another thing I wasn't so happy with, but I understand why this was necessary to the game.

A puzzle from a previous RE game...ah, the good ol' days...

Graphics wise, the game is amazing. Nearly everything was done in great detail. Characters looked gorgeous, and Im pretty sure that every returning character from old games has been redesigned. Chris looks like he consumed large amounts of steroids, and (spoiler in 3....2.....1....NOW ---->) Jill has blonde hair. Wesker has creepy tightpants, and his face seems more square now.




Now, not to say that character redesign is bad, but they made Chris look a bit too bulky. On the whole "Jill is blonde" subject, thats not so bad. She still looks about the same, and I like the new look of her character. But Wesker just creeped me out. Tight pants, god complex, overly gelled hair. Terror thy name is Albert Wesker.

As I said earlier, the plot is intresting. The "zombies" are similar to those of the RE4 variety, and the documents you find will keep giving you a flow of information and plot points between cut scenes. I think my personal favorite part of the plot is the "your my partner, and I won't leave my partner, because I already lost one partner", making the bond between Chris and Sheva grow a bit faster. It also makes Chris's fight with Wesker even more of a grudge match, which is just what I wanted it to be. And the flashbacks are very enjoyable, giving a back story, and filing in some gaps.

Chris: "No kissing on the first date!"

I had to finish the game out in single player mode, for my friend had things to do, but I am kind of glad that I did. It gave me a chance to experience Sheva's (semi-retarded?) AI. One of my family members was also playing RE5 last night, and called me today commenting on her AI. He said that for him, she hogged all the ammo, and healed him often. The opposite is true for me. I often had to FORCE her to take the ammo, she would not pick it up on her own. I also had to heal her, and kind of babysit her. She healed me 1 time for every 6 or 7 times I healed her, and I didn't heal her too much (not unless she needed it). Also, she was not as effective in most boss fights as I would of liked her to be. These flaws aside, she does help out. She was particularly useful in (Another spoiler in 3....2....1....) the boss fight against Jill, where you have to rip off the crest from her chest. And the boss fight with Wesker in the hanger, before he takes off. The AI did very well in both of these fights, and I was happy with its performance.

The new save system kind of made me nostalgic for the illogical typewriters. The game uses an autosave feature, where checkpoints and saving trigger automatically. I find it kind of odd that the typewriters disappear when the game moves to a more poor country that isn't technologically dependent, but they were a common sight in expensive underground labs in America.

You never know what you got, till its gone

The variety of guns is a nice addition, but Im set in my ways. I gave my friend all the new weapons, and kept to 3 main ones. The starter handgun, the first shotgun, and the Magnum (Those were always my 3 favorites in the original RE games, and I continue to enjoy them in RE5). I liked the upgrade system for the weapons as well. I maxed out my handguns upgrades, and it became very powerful, and with such a high ammo capacity, I could carry a lot of handgun ammo in the gun itself, saving me an item slot.

Speaking of item slots, that brings me to the inventory. Because of this games Co-op, accessing the inventory does not pause the game as in previous RE games. The menu is also back to a 9 slot box, instead of the RE4 rectangle, in which you could organize and change things. A huge plus on the inventory is that you can place weapons/objects in a D-Pad shape, and tap the D-pad to change what weapon/object you have equipped. This is useful now that you have no time to waste in inventory, and makes the flow of combat much more natural.

I also have to comment on the Green herbs being a spray now. Isn't that the exact same thing as First aid spray? I mean come on, the original concept for herbs were a plant that could be applied to wounds as a natural remedy for wounds and infections, not a spray. You even pick them up in plant form, so how do they instantly become a spray? Capcom may of gotten rid of the illogical typewriters, but don't worry friends, logic is still no where to be found.

And where are the new monsters? The villagers were very similar to RE4 villagers, both of which being controlled by the Las Plagas virus. I mean sure, theres the Uroboros (I think thats how its spelled), but thats more of a boss monster. I wanted to see more fresh new creatures, but I can't really complain. They added a few new ones, I guess I just expect too much.

The final thing I would like to comment on is the Mercenary mode. I like the selection of characters, and the maps, and I can't really come up with anything wrong with it. Its pretty fun, and gives you a way to practice without playing through the actual game.

Ive decided to rank this game out of 5. No decimals, those are pointless.

Gameplay 4/5:
The gameplay was great, a few problems here and there, but overall it isn't bad. I just wish there were some puzzles..

Graphics 5/5:
Beautiful. Nuff said.

Story and Plot 5/5:
The story is fantastic. It finishes some grudge matches we've all been waiting for, and replaces Umbrella with a new evil corporation, Tricell. This gives me hope for some great new things in the series, seeing as Umbrella is pretty much done

Re-playability 3/5:
You can play as Sheva for a bit of change your second time around, and you can change the filters and costumes for a little bit of fun, but it doesn't give too much incentive, other then unlocking everything.

Overall 17/20 or 4/5:
RE5 is a great game, but is short of perfection. I hope the next game contains more puzzles, better AI, and some more new monsters.

I recommend this for anyone who likes zombies, shooters, violence, outnumbered fights, or RE games. Its a great game, and if you don't buy it, at least rent it for a week, check it out a bit.

Now, if you will excuse me, I haven't slept in 2 days, so Imma collapse now.

-Spike   read

8:29 PM on 03.10.2009

In the past few Months I have realized that...

I absolutely despise my PS3. I have a piece of crap 20gb, and I thought I liked it ok until now. I usually play my 360, which is:
-Lots of memory
-Fast DLC D/L speed

Now, with my luck, it just all of the sudden breaks. No reason for it. The disk drive just stops working. And whats even better is I can't send it in for a repair anymore, so I am royally screwed. Now I have two current Gen consoles to choose from
The Wii and The PS3

I thought to myself:
"Oh, guess I'll move onto the PS3 till I get a new 360 later.."

But thats not what has happened, noooo, I have, infact, chosen to move to my Wii. I didn't realize this until just now, as I had to pick which game to try and finish off this evening, and I chose RE3 over F.E.A.R. I noticed that this choice had become based on console. I looked at the PS3, had a slight feeling of rage, and then grabbed the RE3 case and popped the disc inside my Wii. I realized that its not F.E.A.R., its the PS3 itself. I then evaluated the piece of crap:
-crappy D/L speeds
-Crappy exclusive game selection so far (Theres a few gems, but the Xbox 360 has lots more)
-No fucking memory card slot!

I then looked at my Wii:
-Barely any load times
-Better backwards compatibility
-Can use memory cards/SD Cards
-Uses AA batteries, so quicker controller renewal.
-Fairly good D/L speed

I would much rather play my Xbox 360, and Left 4 Dead, but I can't. So right now I have to settle for what I have. The only good thing is that RE5 isn't a 360 exclusive, because that would screw me over, big time. I guess I should be thankful that I have all 3 consoles though, as some of my friends and family only own one.

Maybe one day the PS3 will correct its horrible ways, but until then Im a Xbox and Wii person. Can't wait to play RE5 on the PS3 though....but with the install times It could take awhile...

-Spike   read

4:52 PM on 03.10.2009

Why don't Zombies dehydrate?

Quick, someone get those guys some water, they ain't looking too good!

Ok, so while working on my to do list (see previous blog entry), I realized something:

A zombie apocalypse would only last a few weeks. Think about it. Theres only so long they can stay hydrated off of blood, but after that they would have no source of hydration. They aren't smart enough to open a water bottle and chug it, no, if they were that smart they wouldn't be called a zombie, they would be called a cannibal.

So how in all the games and movies do they do it? How do they go months without a drink? It'd kill a human, and a zombie is basically a sick human, so therefor, it'd kill a zombie. This being said, I set off to think of how they could survive.

The first thing to come to mind is blood. If they ate enough flesh the blood would keep them hydrated. But they would eventually run out of people right? They wouldn't stop until every uninfected man, woman, and child, were brain food. But then think of the few humans out of their reach, the ones in fancy, rich, private bunkers, with no risk of zombie breach. Once the zombies ran out of people to eat, zombies would die out, and the rich people could leave and begin re-population. So "Z-day" wouldn't last all that long.




But then, out of the corner of my mind came an idea. What if they, being the stupid creatures that they are, kept their mouths open while it rained, and got enough water to get by on? Impossible you say? I think not. Look at it like this. They keep their mouths open 90% of the time. They shuffle with their heads cocked to the side, or hanging back. This would make it easy for some rain water to get in their mouths, and what are they gonna do other then just swallow it? Spit it out? Unlikely. But then again it might not rain enough to save the undead. Who knows? Nature might do us a favor and kill off the zombies.

Rain, rain, go away. Don't let those zombies live today.

In popular games the zombies last forever. Its unrealistic if you think of it. I mean, take RE for example. You could leave that console running for 3 days, and the zombies wouldn't drop dead. They would still stand there, just waiting, Untiring, unwavering, relentless creatures.

And that brings me to another point, while on the subject of RE. Would Lickers dehydrate too? They USED to be human right? Could they die from lack of blood and water? The world may never know, because Capcom won't make their games like that.

How awkward would it be to talk to that guy? Tongue flopping around on every word.

Then again, what fun would it be if they DID dehydrate? I would honestly prefer to blow their brains out with a shotgun myself =D

So next time you play a zombie game, think of this: "Maybe if I wait long enough it'll dehydrate and die!", because if it were in real life, it just might.

-Spike   read

9:47 PM on 03.09.2009

My Personal Gaming to do list for 2009:

I have a lot of things I want to accomplish this year. I have games to buy, n00bs to own, so heres my outline for 2009:

-Beat every RE game over again
Games Completed so far:
RE: Survivor

Games that need re-completion:
RE: Dead Aim
Outbreak 2

-Purchase and beat RE5. *UPDATE* DONE! Hurray!
-Purchase and beat Haunting Grounds
-Beat Rules of Rose
-Beat all the Clocktower games over again
-Fix my Xbox 360
-Clear out my old memory cards
-Obtain a copy of RE 1.5 (Don't say ANYTHING, I can hope can't I?) *UPDATE!!!* Haha, I wish
-Beat the original NES SMB again
-Purchase and complete Halo Wars
-Beat Legendary for Xbox 360
-Drain all achievements that I can out of my games
-Hopefully Sadness for Wii will come out, allowing me to, you guessed it! Purchase and beat it!
-Fix my laptops errors *UPDATE* Doing a little better
-Play more PS3 *UPDATE* DOING IT, YEA!

I know some of these *cough cough* RE 1.5 *cough cough* won't happen. But I have hope of completing this list by the first day of 2010. I will play RE 1.5 before I die. Maybe...hopefully....or probably not...ANYWAY, this list will be updated as the year goes on. I also plan on making a list (probably won't be posted here) of games I plan to purchase, and systematically buy them. Oh yea, speaking of, I almost forgot! There are two last things, two games Ive been putting off for awhile:

-Beat Ico *UPDATE* Found it!
-Beat Siren *UPDATE!* I cant find it :(

I own both of them, but lucky me I can't locate them in my large game collection...Oh, and thats another thing!

-Organize ridiculously unorganized game collection

This could be a looooong year...

Well, wish me luck! Im off to (hopefully) find a game sleeve with Siren inside.

Update: I found ICO! =D It was in an unlabeled PS2 box w/o a sleeve or book, but I found it. Hurray!
Update: I beat RE5

More on this later.

-Spike   read

8:34 PM on 03.09.2009

Why the Survival Horror genre of games will ALWAYS beat the movies:

We've all been there (Image drawn by Jawbone-Lord )

You walk down a lonely hall, turning into a dark corridor. You open a door, and suddenly, the creature stalking you rips you in half! Game over man, game over! This is an example (a VERY generic example mind you, but a example all the same) of a Survival Horror scenario. There are a lot of games within this genre, but what makes them so scary? What makes so many say "I don't think I wanna open that door..."? After just a little bit of thought, the answer is clear.

When you watch a scary movie, the plot is set in stone. You can't control what the person on screen does, they aren't you, they don't think like you, and you won't ever be in that situation. Now compare that to your favorite Survival Horror game. It puts you in the situation, its your wits against the killers, not some blonde bimbo. It becomes more personal, deeper, you become emerged in the thought that if you go through that door or do the puzzle wrong, that YOU will die. Of course YOU won't REALLY die, but sometimes it feels that way, does it not?

More like "Night of the Living Emo", am I right?

Its all about control. If we could control the actions of characters in movies (well that is what a game is, a big controllable movie, but you get the point.), then it would be a hell of a lot more scary. We would be responsible for their lives, and responsibility can be one of the scariest things you can have. This makes a game much more terrifying then any movie. For example:

Take the Silent Hill series, scary right? Now watch the movie. You can't control the flow of events, and it doesn't even compare to the level of fear attained when you have the responsibility of keeping your player alive.

I wouldn't wanna vacation house here

The movies just can't beat their game counterparts, any movie based off a scary game is almost guaranteed to be less frightening then the original blockbuster game. This is also due to the fact that most movie adaptions just aren't as faithful to the game as we would like to see, so we are disappointed either way.

Now, this isn't the movies fault, or the people who made it, no. The movies are just fine, some can be terrifying, regardless of responsibilities. But they won't ever beat the fear that some games bring to you. So think about it next time you go to the theater, and how you would treat that situation if it were on the PS3. You may be surprised how different you would treat it, and the possible results. Or maybe it won't be a surprise because you already think that your king of zombie survival, and you know exactly what you'd do already.

-Spike   read

8:39 PM on 03.08.2009

Why I despise the Japanese gaming companies ideal of Americans:

Why must you keep games from us? We've shown Mario so much love!

We all see a game or two that is a Japan only title, one that may come here, or maybe not. You look at the game videos on Youtube and say something like "YEA! Can't wait to see that here!". But will it ever come? No. The Japanese gaming companies come up with some games some of us would LOVE to see, but they don't ever send them our way.

Now, don't start saying that its an issue of copyright, because I know that can be the case. There are some games that cannot be released here because of the American copyright laws. But thats not the case every time. Take the original Super Mario Brothers 2. They refused to release it here. Instead they sent a mod of "Doki Doki Panic", or whatever you call the crap sequel we got. Later, when asked, Nintendo said they thought that it would be "too difficult" for Americans to enjoy.

Another fine example of when a great game didn't make it to America is "Splatterhouse: Wanpaku Graffiti" for the Famicom/Nes.

Gotta love this cover art

This chibi style sequel (well, actually prequel) to "Splatterhouse" is actually very enjoyable. Its less serious then the first game, and is easier to master, as well as to beat. I have played the game via rom, and have beat it. I don't normally use roms, but I had to try this one out. I had alot of fun with this, and if it would of been released here then im sure 100's of people would of spent hours with it in their consoles, smacking super deformed creatures in the face holes.

You fight these adorable abominations to god

And what about this game?

Disaster Day of Crisis

DDoC, is described by Nintendo as having “cutting-edge physics and gripping visuals”. But then right after teasing us with that, Reggie-fils-Aime says "I'm not sure if American gamers will like this game or not. I'm not sure if they will appreciate it like European gamers would. So, if they don't apreciate it then what's the pont of having it shipped over?". Well I guess if its such a hassle to translate and ship...but oh, wait! The game was made in English. It only needs to be put on the correct format disc to play in USA/Canada.

That looks to be a bad ass main character

According to Wikipedia, the game is an "action-adventure survival game, where the player must survive through various natural disasters, all the while also battling terrorists and rescuing civilians." That sounds bad ass! Id love it. So why not just send it on over? Please? Guess not...oh well.

The point remains that they make games that they claim are phenomenal and great, but then say "Oh, never mind, you guys wouldn't like it, so why bother?"

This just proves that the game companies over seas hate us. They think we are too unintelligent to play their more unique games, or that we wouldn't understand the concept, or maybe that we aren't skilled enough. Whatever the reason, it stops some great games from coming here. Instead, we get things that are pure crap, but they thought we would enjoy for some reason. Like Onechanbara, I'm betting the meeting that decided if that game would be released here went something like this:

"Should we release it in America?"
"Of course! They love sexy girls in bikinis! Game play doesn't matter so long as theres sex appeal!"

But the game isn't doing too well, and has received bad reviews. Hopefully this will teach them a lesson:
America may love HAWT girls who can fight, but we need game play, my god do we need good game play.

Their ideas of us are probably that we are all stupid, fat, lazy, and shallow. Like America is the "special kid who likes shiny things" of the world. But not all of us are like that, I mean come on, we aren't gonna buy enough crap to support this idea, just for the hot girls...right? Hopefully we can prove we aren't shallow, and get some of the good, maybe kinda freaky, but GOOD games.

-Spike   read

11:37 AM on 03.08.2009

Expanded Universe #2! Rare Resident Evil Novel

So, while researching for my "Expanded Universe" blog about the SD Perry Novels, I found out about a rare novel, never released in America, and only available by pre-ordering the first RE in Japan. This makes it incredibly rare, because only a limited amount were made, and most are now lost. It was titled "The True Story Behind Biohazard". "The story serves as a prelude to the events of the original Resident Evil, in which Chris Redfield investigates the disappearance of a missing friend." I believe that this book is still 100% canon, even with all the revisions of the series since its release, though I could be mistaken.

Now that Id heard of such a thing existing, I HAD to look for it. Of course, it being a Japanese book over a decade old, I doubted Id get an English Copy through any means. The first thing I found was a copy on Ebay, but it was in Japanese, so that was a no go. I had almost given up hope when I found a website with an English Translation of it.

The translation is presented as Jpeg images, where the Japanese text has been edited over with English text.

The quality is pretty good, but its still unfinished. I question if it will ever finish, because it seems to have been started years ago. But either way, finished or not, its better then nothing.

I only read the first chapter so far. Supposedly, the novel consist of 7 chapters. The website has translated 3 as of now (check out the website, link at bottom of blog). From what Ive heard, the story begins the night before they set off to the Mansion, and ends when the helicopter sets down in the woods. The entire thing is narrated by Chris Redfield.

In the story, he receives a phone call from his old (and dead) friend Billy. After Billy convinces Chris that he is alive, they decide to meet. Chris, breaking every traffic law he can, speeds to the agreed upon place but is interrupted by, you guessed it, zombie dogs and such. Its a translation, and its a fairly good one, but something feels a little off when I read it. I guess you could chalk that up to the age of the book though.

Every once and awhile there are some illustrations

I know they aren't the most artistic things ever drawn, but they aren't too bad.

All in all you should check this out if your a fan of the series. Its free, its canon, and you could hold it over your friends head that you know more then them. Definitely worth a looksee for any Resident Evil fan.


The Horror Is Alive: The True Story Behind Biohazard Translation Project   read

10:25 PM on 03.07.2009

Expanded Universe: Resident Evil Novels

I must admit, shamefully, I own all of these books. My entire family loves RE, but none of them own as much of the games as me, and not one of them owns any of the books. They don't see a point in reading about a game they can play, which makes me feel even more looserish. But whether or not its a good thing that I own the books is neither here nor there. What it is good for is this "Expanded Universe" theme.

There are a total of 7 books in SD Perry's Series:
#0: Zero Hour (The only one not pictured)
#1: The Umbrella Conspiracy
#2: Caliban Cove
#3: City of The Dead
#4: Underworld
#5: Nemesis
#6: Code: Veronica

This isn't the only series of books, but I'm pretty sure its the only series in English.

My impressions after reading the books are mixed. On one hand they provide fun back stories to some of the events of the games, they are well written, and they expand on the characters and events. This, however, presents a small problem. the books, being written awhile ago, do not match the modern incarnations of the game, and the revisions made to the story. This makes some of these back stories non-canon.

On the other hand, if you've played the games, then why read them? Why read an account of what you've already done? There is no real reason besides the back stories and mental views of the characters. Unless, that is, you are reading one of the original novels, which are probably non-canon by now, if they were ever canon.

My final take on it is that unless you are a die hard fan, then don't look too far into these. They are well written, but you know the story by now, and if you want new situations then you only need to buy two of them. I enjoyed the back/side stories, Non-canon or not its a good read, but It may or may not be worth your time unless you really love RE.

A quick side note:
I know it doesnt really effect the impact of the book, with the "Don't Judge a Book by its Cover" ideal, but the cover art (in my opinion), is horrible. It makes all the characters look semi-deformed and unattractive. The picture of Jill on the cover of Nemesis is absolutely disgusting compared to the CG Jill in the games. Its ugliness sends chills down my spine. But it proves the above mentioned ideal, because it after all is a good book, just with a bad cover. A very bad cover.

(I know this isnt the greatest blog, but I couldnt come up with anything else to match the theme)

-Spike   read

7:10 PM on 03.07.2009

Why do we save on Typewriters in Resident Evil?

Why is this an appropriate save place?

The other day, as I wandered the lonely halls of the Mansion on RE for the Gamecube, I came across some Ink Ribbons, and as I saved the game, a simple question came to mind.
"Why is this typewriter here, and how did it get here?"

I began to think, and eventually realized how illogical they really were. What once seemed like a innocent, natural thing, became a mystery, possibly the biggest conspiracy ever conceived by Umbrella! The typewriters show up in some very illogical places, such as the dining hall. Why is there a typewriter where the staff would eat? What sense would it make to stand there and type, rather then sit and eat?

What about the ones we find in the police station during RE 2 and 3? Why are there so many in the police station? They have plenty of computers, why not just type on those? It would be easier to keep record of the Zombie apocalypse that way, because you'd never have to worry running out of ink, only space. Or why not just write down your story in a blank notebook? Im sure you could snag one on your way through a lawless city full of zombies.

And why are they used as a save system? I mean, the "writing a note just in case you dont make it" thing makes some sense, but why on such a obsolete medium of recording? And why do we only need to conserve Ink? Why isn't stocking up on clean paper an issue?

The only response to the "Why are they here?" question I can come up with, is that someone, before zombifacation, was trying to write a last goodbye, but before they could finish they had to leave the room for some reason, dieing before they could ever return. Evidence of this is the notes you find around the facility, such as the one by John to Ada telling how the puzzle is done. This makes some sense.

But while pondering this another, final, question came to mind. "Does any part of this game make sense? Its about a giant conspiracy by a cosmetic company, that produces BOWs and other monstrosities for a profit.". The answer is no. So in the end whether or not the typewriters make sense is irrelevant, for the game itself is kinda ridiculous. Dont get me wrong, its still fun.

All for now =D


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