It’s Mother’s Day! That one time of year where we go out of our way to thank our mothers (and the mother’s of our children for that matter) for putting up with our shit all these years. All the grey hairs and grief caused by years of mischief are postponed for a day, where moms everywhere can expect a few more hours of sleep, maybe breakfast in bed, and a bouquet of flowers. What better way to celebrate moms everywhere than a list of the worst moms from games and movies?
Yes, I’m including sci-fi and horror movies in my list, because lists of mothers in games have been done before, and I feel that movies and games go hand in hand with this list. Go ahead and give me shit for it for all I care.
10. Alien Queen (Aliens)
The queen from Aliens is actually not that bad of a mother if you think about it. All she really is doing is just watching out for her young. Ripley, in her quest to save Newt tears shit up, killing the Queen’s offspring and burning up her eggs with a flamethrower. Any mother would be pissed if that happened. It’s called motherly instinct.
9. Mother Brain (Metroid)
Samus Aran’s main nemesis from the Metroid series, is one cold and calculating bitch. Not to mention that she is a giant freaking brain with spike sticking out of her. I wouldn’t want to bump into her at the checkout line at supermarket.
8. Norma Bates (Psycho)
Norma Bates was an abusive and terrifying mother to her son Norman. Years of chiding broke Norman down emotionally causing him major psychological issues. She preached to him constantly that all women other than her are whores and sex was essentially evil.
After living alone with his mother for years after his father’s death, she begins dating a new man. Norman, who at this point has some pretty severe mommy issues murders both of them, making it appear like a suicide. He then puts his taxidermy skills to good and preserves his mother, so that they can be together forever.
To make matters worth, the years of abuse from his mother caused him to develop a multiple personality disorder. Norman was a shy and awkward man, but at the drop of a hat, he could turn into his abusive and homicidal mother.
7. Dr. Bridgid Tenenbaum (Bioshock)
Dr. Tannenbaum is the geneticist who helped to discover ADAM as well as the system to mass-produce it, giving the people who use it special powers and abilities. The one problem is that the system to mass-produce ADAM required the use of small girls, who are called little sisters. The ADAM would then need to be "harvested" from them.
She does eventually tries to save the girls, and adopts them, since most of their parents are probably dead, driven insane by ADAM or murdered by people who have become insane due to ADAM. It’s the least she could do for them, really.
6. Margaret White (Carrie)
What can I say about Margaret White, other than she’s abusive, domineering, and a fanatical nut that thinks that anything and everything is sinful. Oh, and she’s most likely insane.
Her daughter Carrie was born with telekinetic powers, which Margaret interprets as her being a witch. Of course this means that she must murder her own daughter. Too bad she forgot rule number one in witch murdering, which states don’t try to murder a witch with telekinetic powers. Mrs. White got what she had coming.
5. Samarra (Mass Effect)
Samarra, an Asari justicar had three daughters that suffer from an unfortunate condition, which makes them kill their mates during sex. Nothing is more than a turn off than having your hot blue alien girlfriend kill you while bumping uglies.
Two of Samarra’s daughters decide to live a life of luxury in isolation. The other decides to have some fun and causes some general chaos. Due to this, Samarra decides to take it upon herself to hunt her daughter down, for centuries, vowing to kill her.
No heart to heart conversation on the beach, or any therapy sessions, just right to the filicide. I think Samarra has acted little hastily with the decision to murder her own daughter.
4. Mama Fratelli (Goonies)
Mama Fratelli, the matriarch of the Fratelli family is a tough as nails and terrifying lady who I wouldn’t want to run into in a dark alley. Not to mention, she’s the leader of a violent and homicidal group of thieves consisting of her 3 sons.
To say that she’s abusive is an understatement. She readily admits that she dropped her son Sloth multiple times, most likely leading to his disfiguration. She also threatens to maim a young boy by putting his hand in a blender, gives chase to a group of teenagers, and eventually makes them walk the plank off of a pirate ship.
3. Pamela Voorhees (Friday the 13th)
Pamela Voorhees, the mother of Jason Voorhees, starts out normal enough, if not a little over protective. Jason was born with a hydrocephalic condition, which is an abnormal accumulation of fluid in the cerebral ventricles, causing enlargement of the skull and compression of the brain, destroying much of the neural tissue. (SCIENCE!)
Pamela was employed as a cook at Camp Crystal Lake, and she was very protective of her boy Jason, who was constantly teased by the other kids. One evening, Jason snuck out to prove that he knew how to swim, however, the camp counselors did not notice him and poor Jason drowned. His body was never found.
Pamela never forgave the counselors and slowly went psychotic, believing that her son Jason was willing her to murder the counselors, which she did, in a bloody and gory fashion.
2. Sarah Connor (Terminator 1 & 2)
Sarah Connor pretty much has the same issue as so many mothers already mentioned in this list. It’s not that she’s a bad mother, she doing her best in a shitty situation. Too bad her best is really pretty crappy.
First of all, Sarah, before she’s a mother falls for the oldest line in the books. If I had a dollar every time I told a girl in college I was from the future while trying to get in her pants, I would literally have seven dollars. Well, Sarah fell for this line and becomes preggers. Sarah isn’t very bright.
She also doesn’t make a very good role model for her bastard son, getting arrested and locked up in a mental hospital. She’s also pretty cold and not the most warm and cuddly woman I’ve seen. No wonder John had issues, maybe if his mother put down the AK-47 and gave her son a hug every once in awhile, maybe he would be a little more well adjusted.
1. Joan Crawford (Mommie Dearest)
I know that many of you probably have no clue who this woman is. This lady by far, is the most terrifying mother ever. To make matters worse, she was a real person.
When I was growing up, I was utterly terrified of this movie, more than any other movie. Even horror flicks like Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, The Exorcist, you name it.
The movie Mommie Dearest was based on the true story of Christina Crawford, the adopted daughter of actress and Hollywood icon Joan Crawford.
Joan Crawford, was getting up in the years and roles were starting to dry up. The movies she was being cast in were tanking. It didn’t help that she had developed the reputation of being a nasty bitch. Studios were slowly starting to distance themselves from her. She needed to do something to soften image, and what better way to do that was to adopt a child. Luckily, we don’t see this stuff in Hollywood anymore.
Faye Dunaway’s portrayal of Crawford is purely terrifying. I had nightmares of this movie for years. Joan Crawford, was such a horrible nasty woman and apparently had zero motherly instincts. All this came out after her adopted daughter wrote about her hell growing up in her memoir.
What was really bad, was that when my sister and I were kids, and we were being punished by our mother for being brats, we would call her Mommie Dearest, like poor little Christina Crawford from the movie. We were horrible kids. Sorry mom… and Happy Mother's Day!