MLG’s Evil Plans for World Domination - destructoid

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6:08 PM on 05.04.2014

SpielerDad  says:

MLG’s Evil Plans for World Domination


It’s pretty obvious that the suits at MLG have nefarious and grander plans for competitive gaming and the proof is their decision to build an arena off the coast of Hong Kong to hold multi-national tournaments. I’ll be blunt and say that nothing good comes out of holding tournaments of any kind on islands off the coast of Hong Kong.

Sure, MLG ‘s early days were quaint. “We’re just a fledgling competitive gaming promoter.” They’d say. Right, and Hitler just wanted to paint landscapes. Like all entities striving for world domination, they start with innocuous, humble beginnings, but at some point, the truth comes out.

It’s a known fact that islands off of Hong Kong's coast are used for one of two things. They can be lairs, usually of the hollowed out volcano variety, occupied by well-funded, multi-national terrorist organizations with names like S.P.E.C.T.R.E. and E.V.I.L. The other use for islands off Hong Kong’s coast, is using them for illegal, no-hold-barred, battle to the death tournaments. I think my more astute readers see where this is going.


SPECTRE

It’s pretty obvious this is what MLG’s intends to use its new arena for. They plan to bring the finest competitive gamers from around the world and have them battle, to the death, until there is only one team left. What MLG plans to do with the best team is up to conjecture, but I reckon they plan to control some kind of super powered drone army, which will allow MLG to then hold the superpowers of the world ransom. 



One doesn’t need to dig too deep in order to find that there has been a precedent set by evil individuals having a tournament on a secret island lair. Take Mr. Han in the classic Bruce Lee movie Enter the Dragon.  This man was building a drug empire and his most trusted enforcers were the victors of his battle to the death martial arts tournaments. Is it not painfully obvious that this is what MLG is planning? There are too many similarities for this to be coincidence.


Stock photo of Major League Gaming's new CEO

We must take a stand on this. We will not be forced against our wills to battle to the death and possibly imprisoned by MLG, having experiments performed us until our resolve is broken.


Kentucky Fried Movie

Gamers everywhere, I call to you to open up your eyes, take a stand, and fight for our freedom against the tyranny of the MLG.

DISCLOSURE: I wrote this post on the train on a Friday night on my way home from work after drinking two 40 oz. beers.
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