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SpielerDad avatar 8:22 PM on 06.14.2013  (server time)
The Summer of Apathy

With a new generation of consoles just over the horizon, I reckon that the summer of 2013 will be slower than previous summers for the video game industry. Iím struggling to stay excited with my current line-up of games. Iím sure many gamers feel the same way.
Whatís interesting is that publishers, as well as Sony and Microsoft have essentially conceded the summer as well. They claim that they will continue supporting the current generation for years to come, and perhaps they will, but it will not be with high caliber games. It will be shovel ware, downgraded ports, and games that skew to a younger audience.

Shall we take a peak of what we can look forward to this summer? I went ahead and perused, to see whatís coming down the pike. Letís just say that the results are mostly disappointing. There are a handful of gems howeverÖ

Do you own a PS3? Well congratulations, because you get to play a critically acclaimed title to kick-off your summer of gaming. The Last of Us is out now and currently has a Metascore of 95. This here site itself gave it a perfect score. The PS3 exclusive could be one of consoleís swan songs as Sony gears up for the Playstation 4.

Ride to Hell: Retribution, releasing June 25, is a cross platform title from Quick Silver. Apparently, itís about motorcycles, Asian biker chicks, men with facial hair, and EXPLOSIONS! Itís also 1%, which means itís not as healthy as Ride to Hell: Retribution Skim, but healthier than Ride to Hell: Retribution 2%.

Best of PlayStation Network, Vol. 1, also releasing on June 25, is four games that you can download from the Playstation Network right now, but now, on a disk. I suppose this is good for people who donít have an internet connection. Or for people who are idiots. Remember, the highly paid marketers were sure to title this as ďVolume 1Ē which means we can expect more this crap.

Deadpool, yet another title releasing on June 25. Now, Iím a casual comic book fan, so I had to look up what Deadpool is. Luckily, a quick search and I came to the site. I perused the site, I found this text:

Some of you may know me as the Merc with the Mouth. And itís true...Iím a mouthful. Not to mention, one of the most popular characters in the Marvel Universe these days Ė not that Iím bragging or anything. OK, Iím totally bragging, but to be fair, Iím also totally awesome. And if you want to know what gets me going in the mornings? Chimichangas! (MmmmmÖchimichangasÖ)

Somebody was paid to write that garbage. †Then it had to be approved by what Iím sure were five to six executives. As part of the corporate approval process, the executives then hopped on a private plane to jolly old England, went to the purported tomb belonging to Shakespeare, and took turns desecrating his remains while giving each other high fives as a final assault on the English language.

DARK, out on July 9. Youíre a vampire in a hoody. You hunt people, probably sucking on their blood for sustenance.

NCAA Football 14, releasing July 9. Yay, itís just like last yearís, except they deleted the 13 and put on a 14! And there is a new player on the cover! I love paying $60 for what is essentially the same game for four years with just minor tweaks.

Half naked anime chicks! Exclusive to the Playstion 3. Get it on July 16! SUCK IT XBOX 360.

Historically accurate giant crabs. Out on July 16.

On July 23 you can get your hands on The Smurfs 2. This time they are in Paris, apparently. Iíve heard through the grapevine that it has a somewhat dark ending. Smurfette starts freebasing smurfberries and pays for her habit by becoming a "une putain parisienne". Papa Smurf gets really into existentialism and just sits on a park bench all day, drinking wine and chain smoking while quoting Satre.

On August 6 you can get your paws on Dragon Crown, another exclusive on the Playstation 3. This game doesnít look half bad and previews have been relatively positive. Also, BIG BREASTED ANIME CHICKS!

Sheís enduring excruciating lower back pain in order to fulfill my fantasies!

Not to be out done by Dragon Crown, you can also get your copy of Tales of Xillia, out on August 6. Once again, this is a Playstation 3 exclusive. Once again there are anime chicks, which is definitely part of Sonyís marketing strategy. Hereís a product description:

Tales of Xillia follows Jude Mathis, a clever medical student attending school in the capital city, and Milla Maxwell, a mysterious woman accompanied by four unseen beings. Players will be able to choose either Jude or Milla at the outset of their adventure through the world of Rieze Maxia, where humans and spirits live together in harmony. The kingdom of Rashugal has been experimenting with a powerful source that led to draining the mana from the world. Realizing the harm it is inflicting on the world, Jude and Milla set off on a journey to destroy it and restore the mana back to the world.

THANK GAWD! For a moment I was worried that the story was going to be really convoluted and disjointed.

Releasing on August 13 is Pay Day 2 for the Playstation 3 and Xbox 360. Iím not trying to be asshole, but I didnít even know there was a Pay Day 1.

Disneyís Infinity will be available on August 18. Say what you will about this title, but my gut is telling me that this is going to bring in a shit ton of cash for Disney. Itís going to be available on every platform under the sun and kids will be clawing their eyes out in order to get their parents to buy every character that comes out.

Now in rapid succession because Iím getting tired and running out of schtickÖ

8/20 Ė Saints Row IV: Giant purple dildos.

8/20 Ė Tom Clancyís Cell Blacklist: Meh, does anyone care about this series anymore?

8/20 - The Bureau: XCOM Declassified: This might turn out to be okay.

8/27 Ė Lost Planet 3: Can we take this series out behind the shed and put it out of its misery please?

8/27 - FINAL FANTASY XIV: A Realm Reborn: Itís a FF MMJRPG, mmmkay.

8/27 - Killer Is Dead: This game is being touted as the spiritual successor to No More Heroes and Killer 7. I honestly donít know if this is a good thing because No More Heroes and Killer 7 are two games that I have never played and never had any intention of playing.

Letís skip ahead shall we? On September 17, Grand Theft Auto V will be hitting store shelves. Now technically, summer is over, but if youíre a fan, this title will most likely be the last current gen game you buy if you plan on being an early adopter and jumping to Playstation 4 or the Xbox One.

GTA V, which will be bigger and better than all previous GTAís before it is hitting at what I believe is a very inopportune time. I know that Iím apprehensive of plopping down $60 for what is going to be essentially the last of the last generation and I have to believe that Rockstar has plans to release some version of this on the PS4 and the Xbox One.

So folks, thatís pretty much it. The current gen will be going into their golden years. Summer will be over in a flash and before you know, the holidays will be here with a new generation of hardware and games. What are you looking forward to playing this summer? Iím sure I missed something. Love to hear your thoughts.

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