Every hundred years, a Spartacus is chosen to do whatever it is a Spartacus does for the next century. Since 1997, that Spartacus is the one and only me, Spartacus. Certain powers and abilities come with this most cereal title to help the Spartacus accomplish his Spartacan goals, including:
-ability to turn left hand invisible
-power to sneeze on demand
-mastery over yawning
-power to read people's minds if they're thinking about mice
-turn any lunch meat sandwich the color burnt sienna
-break the law in Nebraska
-alter any dictionary

In the year 23 BS (Before Spartacus) a man named Tacus was born to a wealthy and prosperous family of chimney sweeps. Tacus lived a nice and quiet life sweeping chimneys until the age of nine, when he suddenly had a revelation, an epiphany, if you will, whilst sitting in the silent, secluded confines of a smokestack. He wanted more than to just sweep chimneys for the rest of his life; he wanted to be remembered for something amazing. So he mounted his white stallion, Needleback, and rode off into the sunrise, marking the end of his short childhood and the beginning of an epic saga, which will probably be retold badly in part two of A Brief History of Spartacus as told by Spartacus.






SPARTACUS BONUS-CUS

The only known photo of Tacus, the first Spartacus.