SPORE name: gloomheart (download my ogre, he's club-a-licious)

Hi, I'm Erik, I'm from Chicago, and I'm SourGr8pes on Dtoid because I'm a fucking embittered old man. I believe in old fashioned things, like big words and sentence structure, (which automatically makes me the enemy of the internets) Freyja worship, and sacrificing children to the lake monster out back.
Scary, yes, but I do believe in new things, like evolving out of the sloped forehead, hunched back, wood and stone tools era of straight up turned based RPG battles that the Japanese insist we stay in, when they're not busy furiously fapping over their WiiFits.

I also have stupid childish dreams of building my dream console that will have MOTION CONTROL (I know, it sounds crazy), all but two games will have unnecessary waggling, and everything else will be minigames and rehashed crap.

Been constantly playing games with my Nintendo since 1986, so you can say I've been around through the first major console wars... Personally, I owe no allegiance to any console, preferring to find it's strengths and weaknesses myself. I try to get as many consoles as I can, so I've got street cred when I talk shit about them. If anyone wants to buy me a PS3 with Disgaea 3, I will happily accept it. Me even sucky sucky long time.

FANBOYISMS:
-Fursona 3, and all of the SMT in general. A game that took something as boring and primitive as turn-based combat and turned into something interesting, because if I do the wrong attack at the wrong time, MY AZZ GETS SMOKED!

-Nippon Ichi games: What can I say? I love the niche RPG's. Slickly marketed Final Fantasys are not my cup of tea. Disgaea-type grinders are.
I don't know what it is, but perhaps it may be the masochistic charm of trying to get to Lvl 9999, then transmigrate and... Start all over again.
Yeah, I know they're not the greatest games in the world, but I love them like I'd love my red-headed stepchild... Y'know, after beating his ass senseless.

-Kunio-kun games: River City Ransom was the first game I played religiously (and probably the third game I ever owned). I tried to play as many of the Kunio-kun series as I could, even the ones in that pesky Japanese language.

-I am indeed a member of the Atlus Faithful. They may not make the best games in the world at times, but at least they listen to their fans... Unlike a certain game company I've blindly followed for years, who will never release Seiken Densetsu 3 to the US, nor make another Chrono game.

THINGS THAT MAKE ME VOMIT BLOOD:
-Blue Dragon, Mistwalker, Square/Enix rehashes and all other lame attempts to capture the retro crowd. Don't EVER get me started about FF9; You'll be listening to me for days. Romancing SaGa 1-3 in English would also be awesome, assholes.

-Shovelware

-Kingdom Hearts, in all it's forms.

-All these fucking disappointing next-gen sequels with little-to-no-content other than achievements. They get perfect 10's elsewhere, but Dtoid's the only place honest enough to look at all the bad things.


PACKIN':
-NES
-SNES
-N64
-Gameboy in ALL it's reincarnations
-GBA
-DS
-PS1
-PS2
-PSP
-360
-Dreamcast, or as I like to call it the "Makes-Me-Creamcast"
-My 9

Dis be mah game face