Bella Sera: Fear and Loathing in the Magical World of Horses - Destructoid

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I've been having nightmares lately. Terrible dreams, unforgettable dreams. Dreams where I've had to plant berry trees in order to use the berries to dye my lovely Capri's, and matching sweater. Flying horses offer me freedom, but only in exchange for the brushing of their golden, sparkly manes. I'm beaten nightly by my mistress. Beaten to a bloody pulp, in the hopes that she might give me horseshoes. So, you know, I can buy that cute fairy bookshelf for my cottage!

This is hell, and it's name is Bella Sara. Will you come and suffer with me?

The history of Bella goes back to the year of our Fairy Lord, 2006. In the darkest corners of some Bazaar in Scandinavia, some dark wizard summoned the beasts, knowing their potential to be the girly equivalent of Pokemon and Magic: The Gathering.To his delight, they succeeded in hypnotizing young gypsy girls into collecting cards, emblazoned with pictures of horses. The dark engine grew larger, spreading it's curse overseas, into our very shores. It had grown from simple games, to a virus on the internet, festering like maggots in this old batch of dog food I had to clean up one time. Yucky. It's here that the dreams began. It's here that I had to face my fears, and enter "The Magical World of Horses". Also, talking otters.

When I arrived, there seemed to be nothing but tutorials covering every aspect of ones browser based life: How to eat, how to sleep, how to dress the way they wanted you to, how to care for your God damned horses. I could feel my soul being sucked out of my being, but I had to pull through. There could possibly be cool mini-games to play!

Sweet Mother of Mary, the mini-games. In one, I had to be a Pegasus, catching the Rainbow Daisies off of clouds in the sky. In another, I wield a magical bubble wand and capture the lesser wild life to entertain the Devils. In Sara's world, lady bugs are maggots. Butterfly's are the dirt in which the bugs crawl.

Just then, when I thought I wouldn't get out, stuck in my delusions of star gems and the cold sidearm deep in my mouth, something happened. The game was incomplete. The stores were all closed, and I could not buy that sexy ass skirt I wanted to match my Barret they had given me at the start (maybe a custom similar to Hawaii? I'm not so sure it's that easy. I think they may be tracking devices). The game slowed to a crawl, and finally, it imploded. I was unable to continue.

It's been 20 years, and sometimes when I let my guard down, I can hear it calling me.

"La la la la laaaa laaaa"

And then I feel it- The Fear. The Loathing.

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