I’m Some_Jerk and the views I’m about to express are my own and not those of Destructoid, its sister sites, Ron Workman or anybody else…here…today, but as you might find they could be your own.

There’s a man who works as a lawyer/pundit/democratic presidential nominee, you might have never even heard of him, but you should, because he’s had some pretty nasty things to say about you. You see, he hates videogames and videogame culture. He’s not content to just turn a blind eye to a medium he clearly has no grasp on, actually he doesn’t want you to play them either. For the past several years/months/days he’s lead a one-man campaign against them.

When Penny-Arcade donated a million dollars to various children’s hospitals this Christmas he was busy saying how the world would be best served if we spent that time and money abolishing companies like Rockstar. Every time a Take-Two Interactive or Microsoft Games is proven innocent in a federal courtroom, this douche ignores that fact and writes columns as if he were living in some bizzaro-world where they were proven guilty just so he can continue his petty grudge. He even once referenced to the success of Japanese companies such as Sony and Nintendo as “Pearl Harbor 2”.

But he doesn’t only hate games, he hates gamers. Here are a few things he’s had to say about you and I quote: “Honestly, are all of you gamers on drugs, or what? Gamers are akin to the Hitler Youth. Pixelantes are vigilantes. More than one who wrote me claimed that because he loves gaming so much that I had somehow permanently impaired his world because of the assertions I made in the dangers that sexually explicit games present to the whole of society. You put threats ahead of arguments, extortion ahead of enlightenment. Gamers are considered by normal people to be cretins. Get used to it."

Well let me just speak for gamers everywhere when I say that we don’t enjoy being insulted by publications we take the time to read. We don’t appreciate being told we’re disenfranchised sociopaths. We don’t like a pompous, self-righteous, decrepit old corpse sitting atop an ivory tower that exists in his mind only campaigning to take away rights that every free man is guaranteed to such as freedom of speech, freedom of choice, and the freedom to enjoy whatever form of entertainment we choose. Those are facts, not rumors or blatant lies pieced together from speed-reading blogs, facts. You should try using them sometime as they help add credibility to arguments.

You spend all your time trying to get news outlets like the New York Post and Fox News to air your message. Well I think it’s time to let all the people you belittle on a daily basis get to tell the world what they think of you. You see you go beyond petty ambulance chasing, you leech off of national tragedies. Columbine, Virginia Tech, and even 9-11 are hounded by you, sir, as times and places to get on your soapbox and try to siphon attention from the real issues and problems at hand.

Why don’t you just give up? You should stop being so jealous of those in the industry who make more money or the gamers themselves who live happier more fulfilling lives than you and do something meaningful. Gun control, government reform, and poverty should be top priority in your politics, not videogames. Perhaps you should get a hobby like the gamers you spend so much time hating, maybe kissing girls, it’s quite fun.
The problem with guys like this are that I can’t specify exactly who they are because they’d send lawyers after me if they caught wind of it, or worse, they’d gain attention. And for him to use national tragedies ranging from school shootings to terrorism as an excuse for a call-to-action for your one-man vendetta against videogames is more vile, more repulsive, and more obscene than anything you’ve ever accused a game of being guilty of.

On behalf of gamers, the videogame industry, and anybody who has the balls to admit to it…here…today, I say go to hell you hearse-chaser and try to reform things down there…because we’re doing just fine without you around here.