Hello folks, back to your non-scheduled programming: Fallout 3 hating.

So I guess the nfans (new fallout fans) have seen the latest videos concerning OPERATION ANCHORAGE dlc, wherein Bethesda invents "a battle of Fallout lore" and uses it to their advantage. Basically if you read "batle of Fallout lore", you might think they finally decided to actually read the Fallout Bible released by Chris Avellone of Black Isle and currently Obsidian fame. But no, they didn't. They just made up shit.

So, about the trailer. Well I could only stomach one and now I'm going to nitpick the hell out of it. By the way, I know I'm writing like an idiot and complaining just to complain, but since Fallout 3 is such a huge success, I guess that as a tfan (tru & proppah fallout fan) I should be allowed to piss all over it since no one else besides the guys at the rpg codex will do it.

Ok so this is the video im talking about: http://www.gametrailers.com/player/44826.html

Right, it starts off with Bethesda's trademarked way of starting off DLCs and quests that pop out of nowhere: a fucking green box in the middle of the screen. Instead of allowing the player to find about this "distress" signal on his own, no, Bethesda KNOWS the player of today will want this shit fed to him to the vein, so they just put a stupid huge IMMERSSHUN BREAKING block of text in the middle of the screen.

Then the guy checks the radio. Poor voice acting rears its ugly head: the raider actually sounds like a mutant! Eh eh, guess you guys will be saying "you dont even know that Mutants don't talk?" or whatever, well they could in the first games, and on Fallout 3, since the plot is basically a ripoff of Fallout 1 and 2 combined, cept on the East Coast (really, to all farts (old fallout fans that embraced Fallout 3) did you guys really eat that excuse of A NEW PLAN TO PUT VIRUS ON PEOPLE AND TURN THEM INTO MUTANTS based entirely on the East Coast? What goddamn shitty excuse is that? The FEV plan should have been, and was, the ONLY plan to.. shit I sound like a Star Trek fan!).

That previous phrase got too convoluted so I'll just continue. When the guy goes and opens the door (shouldnt it be locked?) he gets three dialog choices. I'll resume them, the top one is "i'm a good guy that IGNORED the huge BLOCK OF GREEN TEXT, the second one is I'M EVILLLL and the third one is I'm a good guy that FOLLOWED the huge BLOCK OF GREEN TEXT. I guess that if the character had enough Intelligence he would get an Intelligence option that would read "I'm a good guy that FOLLOWED the HUGE BLOCK OF GREEN TEXT + I CAN SEE YOU GOT A PROBLEM HERE!", just like Fallout 3 which has a lot of examples of this kind of crap dialog.

Oh yeah then the guy asks "how did you find out about this EXCLUSIVE broadcast?", Well, no duh! Bethesda TOLD ME!!!

Then they show a guy with cliche sergeant voice, and then the first good model i've seen of Fallout 3, a chick with cool blonde hair. And then she spits out shit. Simulation? Fallout 3 had that crap right into the plot, I take this chance to ask: WHY? Is this Fallout 3, or the Matrix? That kind of shit DOES NOT make sense in the valve huge mainframe world of Fallout 1 & 2. It's a cop out to put out shit by Bethesda.


Then the lady says that they will put this NEWCOMER THAT CAME OUT OF NOWHERE, he will get into the simlation because he has the necessary pipboy and because the Brotherhood of Steel or whatever the shit these guys are are cool and stuff, and "you are attached to it". Even though, if this was Fallout 1, they'd rip out the pipboy out of your arm and leave you to die. Oh yeah, I know, theyre the Outcasts. Or maybe they're the originals, but theire called OUTCASTS because the Brotherhood of Steel that rules East Coast, who were the original outcasts, now dominate this scene, so the originals, are now the Outcasts. -Great JOB, BETHESDA! I congratulate your writer. And I wish he would quit writing.

Then a terrible animation of the char entering into the pod ensues.

And then MATRIX shit.

And I'm a huge Matrix fan. But I dont want any Matrix on my Fallout, just like I dont want any Fallout on my MAtrix (even though the Matrix's Real World has a bit of the vibe).

And then the video ends and you guys creamed your pants.