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Stop apologizing. Who gives a fuck? Just someloud asshole with probably more issues than you. Don't mind the hate. I understand you're loneliness, it took years for people to acknowledge.me really here. You just have to find those you fit in with and branch out aftuer that. Just keep talking. My biggest problem was I kept shutting up and only making my little quips. Don't be quiet, keep flapping those gums and eventually you'll find some peeps.
Jesus fuck, I hate my phone. The typos the spacing.... arrrrgghhh. I swear its a bigger asshole than I am. Anyways, what I was saying.... I lost it Solar. Sorry. I think you're cool peoples. I'm always down/open to talk to anybody, but I will warn you, I'm busy as hell usually. Still, open invitation, bam!
Hey,
I think it's super shitty if you're trying to be a part of this community and people are being dicks, sure sometimes we dont get along but I mean we should all be generally supportive.
the forums can be a little tough at first but I'd recommend coming making an intro and maybe finding some places in there you like, (make an intro and I'll make sure everyone is cool especially if you're not super comfortable.) this is a great community, and nobody who wants to be involved should be denied,
(I honestly didnt even read this whole blog just got upset and wanted to rant when I saw that Solar was catching shit and feeling uncomfortable...(I'll read when I'm done))
Ok I just stopped and read it, if you feel like the forums again thats where I usually am, I'll vouch for you, just take anything with a grain of salt. I just want us all to be cool and have a good time... Thats what we're here for.
hit me up on twitter or anything if you need a bro man @mrgobbldigook
I think it's super shitty if you're trying to be a part of this community and people are being dicks, sure sometimes we dont get along but I mean we should all be generally supportive.
the forums can be a little tough at first but I'd recommend coming making an intro and maybe finding some places in there you like, (make an intro and I'll make sure everyone is cool especially if you're not super comfortable.) this is a great community, and nobody who wants to be involved should be denied,
(I honestly didnt even read this whole blog just got upset and wanted to rant when I saw that Solar was catching shit and feeling uncomfortable...(I'll read when I'm done))
Ok I just stopped and read it, if you feel like the forums again thats where I usually am, I'll vouch for you, just take anything with a grain of salt. I just want us all to be cool and have a good time... Thats what we're here for.
hit me up on twitter or anything if you need a bro man @mrgobbldigook
A word of advice for this site, and in life in general. If you want to make friends, try one of two things
(1) Spend a bunch of time in secret to make something that entertains people, then release it for free and watch how the world reacts (in our microcosm, this is the opposite of creating a failblog)
(2) Easier path: take interest people first. Make time for them. Comment on their blogs. Ask about their life. Take yourself (or your blog, in this case) off the center stage and stop worrying if people are interested in you. Before you know it, they just will.
Making real friends is work. It doesn't just happen. Keeping them for life is even harder. Just be patient. It does get easier with practice.
(1) Spend a bunch of time in secret to make something that entertains people, then release it for free and watch how the world reacts (in our microcosm, this is the opposite of creating a failblog)
(2) Easier path: take interest people first. Make time for them. Comment on their blogs. Ask about their life. Take yourself (or your blog, in this case) off the center stage and stop worrying if people are interested in you. Before you know it, they just will.
Making real friends is work. It doesn't just happen. Keeping them for life is even harder. Just be patient. It does get easier with practice.
I am strongly seconding Phil and Gobbldigook. I too frequent the forums, find me on their, send a friend request or whatnot. (Or twitter @TheTurbokill)
I'm a fairly young guy guy too, not much older than you and have yet to attend things either. I've been a part of the community for a good 4+ years regardless.
You won't be finding (real) community in Comments Sections anywhere on the internet. Try the Forums (AKA The Bro-rums) and follow Gobbldigook's suggestion. He's da man.
Also, much props to you for continually trying.
I'm a fairly young guy guy too, not much older than you and have yet to attend things either. I've been a part of the community for a good 4+ years regardless.
You won't be finding (real) community in Comments Sections anywhere on the internet. Try the Forums (AKA The Bro-rums) and follow Gobbldigook's suggestion. He's da man.
Also, much props to you for continually trying.
I agree with niero about the cblogs, I never really got into them but I do it for myself, and that's probably the best way to go about it. eventually people seem to enjoy them.
Hey! I too am of similar age, and love Vocaloid songs and bullet hells. It's a small world after all! I can recommend joining in on a FNF, TF2sday, SAND, etc. Playing games with the community has lead to amazing experiences, and I've met a lot of great people who I consider to be great friends from all different walks of life. Heck, now I'm even making a game with some of these people. Craziness. People can seem like pretty big debbie downers sometimes, but I'm sure if you keep looking the cream will rise to the crop/top/mop/Ihop/etc. If not, just hit me or some fellow friendly dtoiders on twitter or something. Or Johnathan Holmes. Or Chad Concelmo. I don't see how anyone could dislike those guys. Say "hi to them or PM or something, I'm sure they'd love to talk to you. Anyways, keep up the search. DTOID loves you, man!
Don't let the trolls and undesirables get to you. Keep trying this place is great, like Niero said put yourself out there and start up conversations (the PMs are barely ever checked by people in the front page, just ask anyone who has ever held a contest in this place) The forum really is the best place to start, I can vouch for that. I've been around for 2 and half years and have met some awesome people through there.
Don't let some bad apples ruin your experience here. Do follow what people have said before me, it's good advice.
Don't let some bad apples ruin your experience here. Do follow what people have said before me, it's good advice.
Ha, some of us here aren't very old ( as others might think)I myself am all open to being friends or dropping a line, although I can only write/blog/im, play PC Games with you, and stream/or watch twitch.tv(another great way to be part of the community btw).
Just remember, this is the internet and for every sincere person it would be accurate to say there's probably 4 insincere ones. It might not be much condolence but where I live, it's literally a desert with the cacti and everything, so as far as the middle of nowhere goes, I can relate (especially with not friends who share the same interests).
As you yourself say it feels conventions would be great, going to a convention is one day my dream, but as you yourself feel, it's going to still be a long time before it's even a possibility.
As for friends, sometimes they just have different taste, and sometimes, well, they can just be plain mean. There's a reason we didn't skip the page when we found Destructoid, it's because something here captivated us, news is dime a dozen and I could just as easily go to Kotaku or IGN, the reason we stay isn't because of what Destructoid is like on the outside, it's what Destructoid isn't like on the inside.
You may never meet any of the faces behind Destructoid in real life, or any of my other favorite places and people like those from twitch, but what I feel makes Destructoid different isn't how meeting the community in real life makes you friends, but how when you do meet the community, they don't put you down, they don't treat you like a kid or a nobody, they treat you with respect, but in a casual way and I feel that couldn't be said for a lot of other places besides Destructoid.
So even though you may not get the recognition from others that you would say feels warranted, at least they don't put on a facade of who they are, and when you finally get to know them, they won't take off a mask. The writers don't just write about games for the sake of cash, and neither does the community, we have a passion and accept anyone else who does. We don't pretend who we are like and aren't like, and for me, that's good enough.
P.S: Trolls (besides Occam and his pals) exempt for the most part of what I consider the (D-Toid Community)
Just remember, this is the internet and for every sincere person it would be accurate to say there's probably 4 insincere ones. It might not be much condolence but where I live, it's literally a desert with the cacti and everything, so as far as the middle of nowhere goes, I can relate (especially with not friends who share the same interests).
As you yourself say it feels conventions would be great, going to a convention is one day my dream, but as you yourself feel, it's going to still be a long time before it's even a possibility.
As for friends, sometimes they just have different taste, and sometimes, well, they can just be plain mean. There's a reason we didn't skip the page when we found Destructoid, it's because something here captivated us, news is dime a dozen and I could just as easily go to Kotaku or IGN, the reason we stay isn't because of what Destructoid is like on the outside, it's what Destructoid isn't like on the inside.
You may never meet any of the faces behind Destructoid in real life, or any of my other favorite places and people like those from twitch, but what I feel makes Destructoid different isn't how meeting the community in real life makes you friends, but how when you do meet the community, they don't put you down, they don't treat you like a kid or a nobody, they treat you with respect, but in a casual way and I feel that couldn't be said for a lot of other places besides Destructoid.
So even though you may not get the recognition from others that you would say feels warranted, at least they don't put on a facade of who they are, and when you finally get to know them, they won't take off a mask. The writers don't just write about games for the sake of cash, and neither does the community, we have a passion and accept anyone else who does. We don't pretend who we are like and aren't like, and for me, that's good enough.
P.S: Trolls (besides Occam and his pals) exempt for the most part of what I consider the (D-Toid Community)
The thing you need more than anything right now is patience, in both yourself and with us. Friendships, whether in real life or online, develop of months and more often years. They take time, dedication and nurturing.
Do not underestimate the value of commenting. They are your direct interaction with other community members, letting us know you're there and better understand who you are. Also they show that you care about what other Dtoiders have to say. I may be kind of a jerk saying this but I've completely ignored some people whose only interaction with the community is in their personal CBlog. You gotta get out there and mingle with us.
Definitely give the forums a second shot. They're good people but you can't take yourself or them so seriously. Believe me, I've tried and failed down there before I got the hang of it. Also hosting games is a great way to interact with your fellow gamers here. Friday Night Fights is where I first got my footing here (after over a year on the sidelines) and I ALWAYS have a blast. It's generally quieter here during the summers but it'll pick back up with the fall releases.
Also I checked my inbox but I guess I'm just not that cool :(
@EAPidgeon
LOL Occams is sooooo not a troll. Unless you're talking about the little naked ones with the funky colorful hairdo than maybe :P
Do not underestimate the value of commenting. They are your direct interaction with other community members, letting us know you're there and better understand who you are. Also they show that you care about what other Dtoiders have to say. I may be kind of a jerk saying this but I've completely ignored some people whose only interaction with the community is in their personal CBlog. You gotta get out there and mingle with us.
Definitely give the forums a second shot. They're good people but you can't take yourself or them so seriously. Believe me, I've tried and failed down there before I got the hang of it. Also hosting games is a great way to interact with your fellow gamers here. Friday Night Fights is where I first got my footing here (after over a year on the sidelines) and I ALWAYS have a blast. It's generally quieter here during the summers but it'll pick back up with the fall releases.
Also I checked my inbox but I guess I'm just not that cool :(
@EAPidgeon
LOL Occams is sooooo not a troll. Unless you're talking about the little naked ones with the funky colorful hairdo than maybe :P
I think you're on the right track your last blog got 16 comments, the one before 5, and the other 8. Friendship takes time, don't hesitate to talk or joke around with anyone with a Dtoid account. One thing I do is if someone writes a good, funny, or insightful comment I'll tell them so, or if I disagree I'll debate with them.
We're all here cause we want to be social, I hope you stick around and things get better. Also Nice Miku header. I'm a pretty good Miku fanatic. Have you ever played Project Diva? That game is incredible.
We're all here cause we want to be social, I hope you stick around and things get better. Also Nice Miku header. I'm a pretty good Miku fanatic. Have you ever played Project Diva? That game is incredible.
Here's a tip from someone who's been on the internet longer than you've been alive, learn to tune out the assholes, the internet is a stage from every jerk with an axe to grind, more importantly simply because you get a bad first impression doesn't mean its always like that, eventually it will just roll off your back, for now, go to the forums like others have said and just socialize, find connections here and there, there's one thing sometimes a person will say that will set off the lightbulb in your head, then you can attempt to make friends with the person.
Participate in FNF or that new relaxed saturday thing, EXPLORE YOUR CHOICES, as much as I rag on it, the d-toid community is relatively tight knight and somewhat asshole/bitch free.
Also you seem pretty bright for a 16 year old, never lose that.
Participate in FNF or that new relaxed saturday thing, EXPLORE YOUR CHOICES, as much as I rag on it, the d-toid community is relatively tight knight and somewhat asshole/bitch free.
Also you seem pretty bright for a 16 year old, never lose that.
Also PMS aren't the most effective way to communicate on Dtoid so don't be upset if people don't reply to those. The only way someone knows if they have a PM is if the check their email and get the notification that they got a PM. The best way to get in contact with a Dtoider is probably Twitter.
Also PMS get lost in sending. I've been told many times, that people have sent me PMs, that I never got. Hell, I almost missed out on becoming a recapper from it. Also, Occams is not a troll. More like a crazy lovable hermit.
Love is community. Community is love. Love is Destructoid. Destructoid is love.
Let things happen...
Also, welcome. Enjoy your stay. And Niero commented. Love, I tell ya. =)
Let things happen...
Also, welcome. Enjoy your stay. And Niero commented. Love, I tell ya. =)
The majority of my friendships here started with Friday Night Fights. Maybe you should give that a shot.
"I know this is the Internet and you shouldn't take crap so seriously, but that's who I am. I act serious on the Internet, and I take things seriously on the Internet. I'm a serious guy and I take things personally. It's who I am. Anyway, what am I doing wrong, or what should I be doing now in order to fully be part of the community Internet-wise?"
I think you answered your own question there. Loosen up!
"I know this is the Internet and you shouldn't take crap so seriously, but that's who I am. I act serious on the Internet, and I take things seriously on the Internet. I'm a serious guy and I take things personally. It's who I am. Anyway, what am I doing wrong, or what should I be doing now in order to fully be part of the community Internet-wise?"
I think you answered your own question there. Loosen up!
1) Friday Night Fights. Reach out and make someone feel worse about their life as you beat them at their own game.
1.5) FNF starts on the forums. If you can muscle your way into the conversation threads, you'll be rewarded. Don't worry that you don't know what they're talking about if you're worried about being in the loop. I'm not sure if they know what they're talking about half the time.
2) Don't worry so much about commenting and blogging here. As I see it, cblogs are just a place for people to stretch their legs creatively in writing. The community you see in cblogs is just established amongst the people who just blog because they want to. As long as you participate, you're apart of it for all I care.
1.5) FNF starts on the forums. If you can muscle your way into the conversation threads, you'll be rewarded. Don't worry that you don't know what they're talking about if you're worried about being in the loop. I'm not sure if they know what they're talking about half the time.
2) Don't worry so much about commenting and blogging here. As I see it, cblogs are just a place for people to stretch their legs creatively in writing. The community you see in cblogs is just established amongst the people who just blog because they want to. As long as you participate, you're apart of it for all I care.
I started on the cblogs. I basically just gave my opinion on a bunch of junk, and moved to commenting on the front page, where I'd [try to] give what I thought was a collection of insightful comments. Eventually, people started recognizing me (it took time), and they learned my tastes. Some agreed, some disagreed, but that's life -- not everyone is going to like you.
Funnily enough, a lot of my friendships here started with an argument. There are a number of people I disagreed with regarding certain publishers/games, etc, and we ended up talking about it via email.
Nearly four years of that, and here I am today -- I might not have met a lot of people in person, but I know nearly every single person commenting here, and they're all great people <3
Also, like I told KingS last month: Twitter. So many of us are on Twitter, and even if people take a break from the site, they're most likely still on Twitter, hanging out with their select friends. Try Twitter, check out @Destructoid, and follow some people on there.
FNF is a great group as well -- look for big group oriented games.
Funnily enough, a lot of my friendships here started with an argument. There are a number of people I disagreed with regarding certain publishers/games, etc, and we ended up talking about it via email.
Nearly four years of that, and here I am today -- I might not have met a lot of people in person, but I know nearly every single person commenting here, and they're all great people <3
Also, like I told KingS last month: Twitter. So many of us are on Twitter, and even if people take a break from the site, they're most likely still on Twitter, hanging out with their select friends. Try Twitter, check out @Destructoid, and follow some people on there.
FNF is a great group as well -- look for big group oriented games.
I have a distinct feeling that Jinxed Havoc is the reason for this. You definitely should loosen up when around him. I remember, in PAX '09 (I think, maybe '10), when an audience member in their official panel asked why the site wasn't as 'serious business' as other news sites, Holmes responded that Dtoid is a place of passion, not news delivery.
The thing about Destructoid that really impresses me is how diverse it is as an ecosystem of sort. Front page surely gets the most views (and most derp heads trolling). Cblogs are almost the opposite with very sincere and personal posts, and a great place to get to know a person due to the effort people put into their blogs. The forums are the cool basement with a pool table, mini bar, and arcade cabinet of Dtoid, where you can join in discussions about games, books, movies, sex, or any other thing even if it's weird as fuck. The chat is like the zen -in the now- subconscious of the front page, talking about Bruce Fassbinder Willis, and where the very unfiltered Jinxed Havoc resides; you get used to him. Streams and JTV have added a huge new base of viewers to the site, and that group is all sorts of tight knit - you'd almost definitely find some friends there, too. FNFs are the most direct way to talk with people, as it's organized game sessions with other community folk like yourself!
Just talk about and/or play games. Follow people's blogs and forum posts. Chill out in Dtoid's many lounges, not being so serious. You'll recognize names and avatars, and other people will recognize yours.
The thing about Destructoid that really impresses me is how diverse it is as an ecosystem of sort. Front page surely gets the most views (and most derp heads trolling). Cblogs are almost the opposite with very sincere and personal posts, and a great place to get to know a person due to the effort people put into their blogs. The forums are the cool basement with a pool table, mini bar, and arcade cabinet of Dtoid, where you can join in discussions about games, books, movies, sex, or any other thing even if it's weird as fuck. The chat is like the zen -in the now- subconscious of the front page, talking about Bruce Fassbinder Willis, and where the very unfiltered Jinxed Havoc resides; you get used to him. Streams and JTV have added a huge new base of viewers to the site, and that group is all sorts of tight knit - you'd almost definitely find some friends there, too. FNFs are the most direct way to talk with people, as it's organized game sessions with other community folk like yourself!
Just talk about and/or play games. Follow people's blogs and forum posts. Chill out in Dtoid's many lounges, not being so serious. You'll recognize names and avatars, and other people will recognize yours.
The way I turned this here e-house into an e-home was through Friday Night Fights. I am, by my nature, a homeless veteran of the great Fast Food Wars of the early 21st century. I am a quiet man in the waking world. To come out of my shell, so to speak, took a lot of effort and Miller High Life. However, when I did, I was rewarded with meeting some of the nicest people I have ever had the pleasure of back stabbing in Halo. Like others have said, it takes time and effort but just participate in the community, write blogs, leave comments, check the forums. It may take time but people will begin to know you and respond. I hope to see you around the site more and look forward to reading what you have to say.
@EAPidgeon I prefer to think of myself as a Trash Bin Diva but thank you for including me in the Dtoid community:)
@EAPidgeon I prefer to think of myself as a Trash Bin Diva but thank you for including me in the Dtoid community:)
The question is... Were you fighting for or against Taco Bell? Bonus question: How do you use those shells?
I don't know either. I have a hard time doing anything with other people. I guess you just keep trying, but I really have no advice. People don't hate me, but I just don't make friends.
I think some things you just build up over time and one step at a time. In most cases internet friendships are built ONE relationship at a time. As boring and as unhelpful as the advice seems "to just keep plugging away" is the best advice. Without a doubt there are a lot of people here and getting responses is hard.
The only other advice I would have is to spread out your net. Look at the forums of Giant Bomb, IGN, GameSpot, etc. You don't have to reply unless you see something that catches you eye, but if someone stands out just send them a note, "Hey what you wrote was cool...do you write blogs anywhere...do you have a You Tube Channel. Such questions flatter people and it starts a conversation. If you make a connection like that, then follow their blog. That's how tings start...small.
The only other advice I would have is to spread out your net. Look at the forums of Giant Bomb, IGN, GameSpot, etc. You don't have to reply unless you see something that catches you eye, but if someone stands out just send them a note, "Hey what you wrote was cool...do you write blogs anywhere...do you have a You Tube Channel. Such questions flatter people and it starts a conversation. If you make a connection like that, then follow their blog. That's how tings start...small.
I broke into the community through Twitter and Friday Night Fights. I started following some of the key people from Dtoid on Twitter, first staffers, then community members I'd see a lot. One night I joined in some Bad Company 2 with Mr. Andy Dixon and a few others, and I made friends with a few of them.
Then I started getting involved with Friday Night Fights. First I just joined in others games. But then I started hosting. I've made a lot of Dtoid friends through FNF. I highly recommend participating in one of our regular community playdates, like Friday Night Fights or Team Fortress 2sday. Add people to your XBL/PSN/Steam friend lists, and play games with them.
I went to PAX Prime last year, and while I went to all the Dtoid functions, I was shy and nervous. I didn't know very many people, and I didn't think anyone would know me. But when I introduced myself to people, I was surprised at how many people actually knew who I was. Some who I never even really talked to. This time around, I'm excited as hell because I know way more people and have become friends with quite a few of them.
Don't be afraid. Take small steps if you have to. Once you get to know the community, you'll find we're awesome as hell.
Then I started getting involved with Friday Night Fights. First I just joined in others games. But then I started hosting. I've made a lot of Dtoid friends through FNF. I highly recommend participating in one of our regular community playdates, like Friday Night Fights or Team Fortress 2sday. Add people to your XBL/PSN/Steam friend lists, and play games with them.
I went to PAX Prime last year, and while I went to all the Dtoid functions, I was shy and nervous. I didn't know very many people, and I didn't think anyone would know me. But when I introduced myself to people, I was surprised at how many people actually knew who I was. Some who I never even really talked to. This time around, I'm excited as hell because I know way more people and have become friends with quite a few of them.
Don't be afraid. Take small steps if you have to. Once you get to know the community, you'll find we're awesome as hell.
@Occams
Perhaps I was a bit poor in my wording for the last part, I wouldn't say your a troll, it's more of you manage to make the trolls pick the fight with you, and then troll them, I love about 98.328438% of your comments.
Perhaps I was a bit poor in my wording for the last part, I wouldn't say your a troll, it's more of you manage to make the trolls pick the fight with you, and then troll them, I love about 98.328438% of your comments.
I barely speak to anybody, but when I do I rumble like a juggernaut.
Anybody who knows of me from around here, probably doesn't know me or thinks that they do. I'll say anything for a laugh and I don't care. It's a philosophy for life that I've adopted that hasn't gained my any favors or friends, but I've decided to always have a good time with it.
That said, don't be a pussy. You're sixteen. People have came and gone from my life like crazy. I've a tendency to burn bridges with people due to my loose cannon sense of humor and wild card behavior. It doesn't get better, it actually gets worse kid. Relationships feel more superficial the older I get, small talk and single serving friends are a dime a dozen daily encounter. But, I come here, write things, and I feel like I have some impact, but I'm always unsure if it's negative or positive. Some people don't take my advice of not being a pussy the right way.
I always tell anybody, if they ever need someone to talk to, if I'm around I'll respond. My hours for video games are really wild, so it's hard for me to schedule anything with anybody, but I'll try.
Oh and I like using twitter, twitter makes me feel closer to the Destructoid community than using Destructoid.
Anybody who knows of me from around here, probably doesn't know me or thinks that they do. I'll say anything for a laugh and I don't care. It's a philosophy for life that I've adopted that hasn't gained my any favors or friends, but I've decided to always have a good time with it.
That said, don't be a pussy. You're sixteen. People have came and gone from my life like crazy. I've a tendency to burn bridges with people due to my loose cannon sense of humor and wild card behavior. It doesn't get better, it actually gets worse kid. Relationships feel more superficial the older I get, small talk and single serving friends are a dime a dozen daily encounter. But, I come here, write things, and I feel like I have some impact, but I'm always unsure if it's negative or positive. Some people don't take my advice of not being a pussy the right way.
I always tell anybody, if they ever need someone to talk to, if I'm around I'll respond. My hours for video games are really wild, so it's hard for me to schedule anything with anybody, but I'll try.
Oh and I like using twitter, twitter makes me feel closer to the Destructoid community than using Destructoid.
^Everything up there is fantastic advice! Just keep at it; we're a good group of people, and a lot easier to get to know than you might think :)
