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Solar20XX avatar 9:10 PM on 08.20.2012  (server time)
I just don't understand

I'll apologize in advance for the following:

*Yes. It's another one of those "I need a friend" blogs. I'm sorry for that.
*I'm complaining a lot. I can see that, and I apologize for that.
*If I sound like a crybaby or a ranter, I apologize for that.
*I apologize if this, to anyone, is an awful blog. I don't even care if this goes onto Failtoid. I'm being brave for once and still posting.
*I know people go through much worse than me, but if this blog makes it sound like that I'm the most lonely person on this site, then I apologize for that too.
*If I did ANYTHING wrong to anyone in the past, then I'm sorry for that too (I just put this here just in case)

If anyone has something rude to say to me after reading what I apologized for, then please just save your breathe, time, and energy, and just don't read anything further down.

So let's get to the point. I'm trying to be a part of the community here, but this is too much for someone like me. I'm only 16 after all. Seriously, what exactly do I need to do? Keep trying? Ugh....I guess I'll just keep trying to have SOME kind of notice....I'm just gonna take a stupid guess here, but maybe I'm just too young and I should just come back in my twenties or thirties? Maybe this is a community "mostly for adults" or something. After all, people like my friends and myself, who are all teens, can't seem to get any new friends so far. I seriously don't know.

I mean, no matter what we do, we can't win in these kinds of situations. I tried doing everything many others have kept telling me:

*Don't be afraid to blog.
*Comment in many blogs.
*Try the chat.

and many other things similar above, to no avail however. Tried the chats, met many trolls and jerks that put me down even further (to the point that I find it a reason for me to make this blog here). Tried commenting, which didn't really do anything. Tried the forums, same thing. Tried blogging, not much of an effect either. Tried PMing people. Never had ONE reply. Not even a simple "alright" or something (and I sent a lot of PMs).

After a few weeks, my friends who also tried to become a part of the community for months all emailed me, saying stuff like "This is the worst community ever" or "Every single person here is wrong as fuck" and finally "They don't care about the newbies, only the popular folks". After that, they gave up on this place and started going to other communities in hopes of better treatment. I'm sick of hearing those complaints, and I'm damn sick of giving up (which is explained further below). Besides, I really want to prove my friends wrong that deep down, this is a great place filled with very nice and caring (although unique) people who would love to be your friend if you give them the chance. I want to prove to them that this truly is the best video game community that many people keep bragging to me about. I been on here since....May of 2012, I think. I know it's pretty early to complain about the lack of friends, but what else can I do? Sit here and expect someone to magically appear right on in the PMs asking me "Wanna be buds?" Of course that will never happen (and if it will, then that'll take many years), so I rather make a stand here and now, say enough is enough, stop being scared, make this blog, post it, pray for nice comments, and see what happens.

I read this blog some time ago. Does this mean that I need to go to conventions? Once again, I'm only 16, and I live too far away. In Gulfport, Mississippi to be exact, which is called by many people "poor city with nothing special ever happening there", and I agree somewhat because it's so boring here! There aren't many gamers who like a variety of games here such as myself. The only people here are a couple of my cousins, my brother Josh William Jasper (who loves to freaking steal, so I can't play with him), and a few people that was in my school and neighborhood before (they moved now. They hated Gulfport).

I, of course, went to other unique video game community websites and tried those places out before coming here in the first place. I tried 1up: there was a bug that kept deleting my profile information, so no one knew about me! Also, I seen many forum posts that 1up was pretty much "dead". I tried IGN: a ton of people there are so immature! I lurked Siliconera for a while because a friend of mine wanted me to join him: I seen behaviors from them that made them look very unforgiving and uncaring towards others when they do one mistake that makes them angry, so I was afraid to actually join. After seeing one last huge argument, I never went back there again. I went to Gamespot; same thing as IGN, except not as many. I went to a bunch of places, and seen a ton of crap going around in those communities that made me not want to go there ever again. I'm sorry if it seemed like I trashed talked a bunch of sites, but I wasted over 3 years just to find an acceptable video game community. I know there are occasional trolls here and there, and no video game website is perfect, but I still have limits on how much I can tolerate. That's when I found this place and joined. I find the people caring, wonderful, nice, and unique, and I still do,but after everything I did to try to make at least one friend in here, I'm still like a ghost around here. I just....don't understand. I'm not giving up though. Once again, I'm sick of doing that, but I just don't know what to do anymore.

I know this is the Internet and you shouldn't take crap so seriously, but that's who I am. I act serious on the Internet, and I take things seriously on the Internet. I'm a serious guy and I take things personally. It's who I am. Anyway, what am I doing wrong, or what should I be doing now in order to fully be part of the community Internet-wise? Please help me, someone.

Thanks for reading, and good night.

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