I have been meaning to do a weekly post about something. I love three things about games; Guns, Blood and the unique moments that will NEVAR be recreated in other mediums. Well, I donít feel like writing too much about blood in games (good idea however) and Iím too lazy to examine the psychology of how Video games are unique among means of expression. SooÖ
Iím beginning a series of blog posts on video games guns and their awesomeness (or lameness).
Real life equal: Barrett M82A1
Game: Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare
Ammo: .50 BMG (12.7x99mm NATO)
Legality in US: .50 BMG rifles posed a ďterrorist threatĒ in California. (no rly!)
If you want to reach out and touch someone, thatís no better where to do it then with this beauty. Nothing says ďhiya doing?Ē than a .50 caliber round to the torso. Sadly, Call of Duty 4 doesnít have gibbing or dismemberments, the real life effects of being shot with a M82A1 are extremely Gorerrific.
In CoD4, going no scope (as in not aimed and no scope attachment) makes for real fun. The M82A1 has a few things going for it high damage, possible deepest penetration, and good rate-of-fire for when some SMG interloper tries to spray and pray. You can pimp out your .50 caliber high five with blue camo and perks like stopping power (overkill AMIRTE?).
Real life equal: 12 gauge flare gun
Game: Team Fortress 2
Legality in US: In some states, theyíre considered "any other weapon" under the ATFA.
If used in the correct manner, these things can be used to save lives. However, in Team Fortress 2, itís used to set your enemies aflame when your flamethrower just canít reach them. It comes in red or blue. True, itís not an elegant weapon nor is it a weapon that a Navy SEAL team would use (unless they were lost at sea). But, it works for the Pyro and thatís all that really matters to the little gimp man in a gasmask.
The longer the Flare is allowed to burn, the more damage it will impart on its target. Itís only got one flare per shot and sets the intended target on fire for 10 seconds. The flare itself is part of the rarest kill icon: Killed With an Airblasted Flare. That means you a Pyro shot a flare in your direction, you air blast the flare back AND it hits someone with low health and KILLS them. Good for you.
Real life equal: Tactical Riot Helmet with Face Shield
Game: Rainbow Six: Vegas
Who in their right mind would wear a bandana or faux gas mask to a fire fight? Not me. The Riot Helmet has always been the bread and butter of realists and wannabe LAPD. It doesnít have any real bearing on your armor or health. It does, however, have a cool Cobra Commander or Strom Trooper effect on your online terrorist fighter.
Its one part combat helmet, one part tactical face shield and one hundred percent badass. Not to mention, it can be used with custom faced characters.
Thatís it for this week. Iíll be playing some more Left4Dead and COD WAW.
HAMZA certainly lives in Nairobi, Kenya. Along with overthrowing the government, he has made it illegal for those who live in Nairobi to buy Adobe and has forced Nairobites to shoop his image with Gimp. HAMZA has even released a hit album "You won't find Adobe here in Nairobi"
Widely considered to be one of the greatest IRL trolls of all time. Way back in the sixties, Charles HAMZA aka C. HAM invented and popularised murder. Since then, murder has enjoyed consistent mainstream success and remains one of the most widely enjoyed pastimes today.
The following took place between last thursday and FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Mikey: "So i herd u liek Mudkips"
HAMZA: "I LUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRVE MUDKIPS!"
1. My first game was Double Dragon at a girls house (I think she was a cousin or something?). We played for hours. I got a SNES a few months later.
2. I LOVE PC gaming! I love playing with mods, skins, sounds, modes and NPCs. *My* version of counter strike: source and Team fortress 2 are unfeasibly awesome. Iíd play more PC games if I had more than just a shitty laptop.
3. I have some skills in SFX (Fake blood, Squibs, etc)
4. I was in many Halo 2 Machinimas. I have no clue whether or not they are still up. One was FUCKING EPIC! I was killed with a warthog while running.
5. Iím a Zombie Combat Expert. I can zombie proof almost any home. I love zombie movies, games, books, comics, etc. From Zombie Survival Guide to Left4Dead to Brain Dead, I love killing zombies! BTW, slow zombies for the win.
6. I hate watching movies on cable networks like TNT because they always fucking cut the language, the blood and the awesome headshots. Thatís bullshit.
7. I like guns although I donít own any.
8. I always wanted to make a post apocalypse movie.
9. Grilled chicken is the best food in the world, bar none.
10. Once, I lost my car keys at Niero and Coletteís new shitty house and I had to spend the night. I donít want to talk about it. The horrorÖ the horror.
What do these games have in common? A bleak outlook on life, a gritty feel and humor
What happens when you play a game thatís a complete downer? Generally, you might stop playing.
Serious games need humor, but why?
What if there was a Red Dawn FPS game or an A Clockwork Orange open world game or an 8mm graphic adventure game?
They say games are becoming more and more climatic, but what kind of climatic? Michael (XPLODE!) Bay kind of movie or something like Nuovo Cinema Paradiso? Thatís something Iíd like to see change.
Of course, itís hard to pitch a game thatís a game version of a depressing story with an ending that may be off-putting AND knowing that it wonít be a bestselling game. You can make an emotionally moving indie film for $2,000Ė4,000 (if you got friends), while making a game for the Xbox 360 can cost thousands more. Also, letís not forget much coding is harder then editing.
So when will a Citizen Kane-like game come around?
Who knows, Bioshock is pretty good.